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[anothertwilight]

I may be being melodramatic but it seems life is determined to strip from me everything of worth. Or perhaps it is just my illusions that are under assault.

Well, if walk this path I must, then I had best see where it leads.

Comments

[wicked_edi]

My sweet, what has brought upon this mind set??
I am worried about you!! Is there anything i can do??

If not, rest assured, if you must walk this path... i will travel along nearby with you!

[anothertwilight]

too many things i hoped for proving impossible. too many things i thought were one way proving not. too many people proving to be other than I thought and they claimed.

at this point, there is little anyone can do. i need to retreat a little, regroup and recover.

in a little time i will be able to move forward again, but for now ...

[wicked_edi]

Ok, well know that i am here if you ever need me...

*Hugz*

[anothertwilight]

*rueful smile*
'though the numbers continue to be thinned ...

i am ... adjusting. damage control, emergency services restoring key functions etc. there will be loads of fine tuning and aftershocks to deal with and then you _will_ be taken up on your offer

[stealthflower]

*sends hugs and love*
But then I hope you knew that already ;)

[anothertwilight]

thank you, the offer alone is worth more than i can express.

[xenthar]

Have hope, it is through our hard times, that we are tested, and hence know ourselves. Even though it may seem like a difficult time, often the journey can be rewarding, and you find that other aspects of your baggage are stripped as well, leaving you more focused, more you, with more understanding and more direction. to quote morpheous "I never said it would be easy, i only said it would be the truth"

I wish you well on your journey, may you find peace, and things you need, not nescesarily what you think you are looking for. *hugs*

[anothertwilight]

I have lived years on little more than hope. I know myself better than most and more than is healthy. I have sought truth and accept what that means with full and terrible knowledge. There is no destination, there is only the journey. All this I know and still ...

I wander now where the wild things are. Yes I will emerge and yes I will be stripped of my baggage, I will be more pure, more refined and far, far less human.

[xenthar]

What is human to you? why do you feel that your journey will loose your humanity?

It sounds like you dread what is to come, and knowing yourself further.. what can you change about your path, to bring you in directions that are more positive? what is holding you back? how can you be free?

Note: you don't have to answer these questions to me, if they are personal, hopefully, some of them may help your analysis -not that i think your analysis needs help.. you know what i mean.. if you would like an outside perspective, email me or icq on 174741603 or msn xenthar@hotmail.com

[anothertwilight]

I journey. I confront my demons and wrestle with my angels. I come forth with insights gained and truths revealed and find I am no longer even speaking the same language as others. My actions become incomprehensible to people presuming similar motives and attitudes.

Example; I don't get jealous. Lost it in one of these transformational processes. So when I love someone, I really do set them free. Only problem is that some people have seen that as a _lack_ of love. For them, if they _really_ love someone, they get jealous. I don't, ergo I don't _really_ love them.

Knowing myself is not the issue. Explaining myself to others I can do, although it usually takes a while to establish a base line of experience upon which to draw, then running through a bunch of what I consider to be truths.

I am odd enough already, it is usually a struggle for me to feel connected, at ease and able to comfortably interact. After each of these periods of insight an transformation I find that I have to struggle to recover my hard won connection

[sophronia]

Is this because your self worth comes from life (external) or from you (internal)?

And email me. I want to catch up.

[anothertwilight]

I am worth more than this. It is others who seem to disagree. And now fate/the universe/life seems to be siding with them.

I have spat in God's eye before and told Him to get f**ked, that I was worth more than this. I will do it again.

I am in no position to catch up. In a few days, maybe.