Comments | anotherwaydown: cue the works

anotherwaydown

cue the works

Oct 28, 2005 09:50

for the first time in months Im crying like a little bitch and its ALL THE BURDEN of GUILT triggered by guages of slight jealousy and emense longing for physical contact today is shitty and it hasnt even begun ...
delayed reaction I guess
I suppose its healthier than not feeling anything right??

Comments 5

The comforting words you'll never ever hear... anonymous October 28 2005, 20:08:56 UTC

Anything... Is better than not feeling at all.... I hope u feel better... My friend Nick... Just got out of havenwick... he is a walking zombie... He's on antidepressants and so numb that even at the funniest thing he'll just shrug... Sad isnt it? how being numb fixes nothing... but they use it as the antidote for the ultimate cases of suicide...Its a wonderful feeling when the tears go away... and how I only decided to read ur journal to watch from a distance at a self-distructive man who for a spilt second held the remains of my heart untell I gained them back, and forgave him for the pain but not the aftermath, I was worried.. I still am...Cheer up... U'll be ok... I was and u know how messed up I was...

Re: The comforting words you'll never ever hear... anotherwaydown October 29 2005, 06:44:32 UTC

did I fuck up? ... seriously, cause its starting to feel like it ... like a terrible mistake ... like I should've stuck to my word and worked shit out but I got sick of trying and now I have no one ... maybe its just the lack of touch ya know the being held feeling thats so warm and comforting makes you forget about the bullshit that was so important to you turns the shittiest days into gold relieving you of the weight of the world and the way things are or seem... tell me Im not a fuck up please ...cause I really do feel like one

Re: The comforting words you'll never ever hear... anonymous October 29 2005, 17:59:42 UTC

I think the only person who can give u that answer is yourself... If u miss me... Not just bc ur lonely... BUt ME.. Then yes u fucked up... If u r just thinking this bc u ended up alone... then I'm sorry... I would love to be ur friend... But If u actually like miss me, and wanna be with me... Then maybe we shouldnt hang out bc that might make it worse... Because I gave up on u... I ended up walking away, because I couldnt take it anymore... I wanted to wait and stuff but... it wasnt worth it... Not if u didnt love me ya know... I am sorry for this whole mess... I truely am... I'm sorry that u feel now like u might have made a mistake... I would have done anything... I told u that...If u never said " i dont think i ever really loved u" I would still be sitting here waiting 4 u... Because thats how much I loved u...

Re: The comforting words you'll never ever hear... anotherwaydown October 29 2005, 22:50:52 UTC

I didnt lie when I said I love you but I question everying thats a problem ... I saw myself in a relationship I wasnt happy with and yes I was sad because I was lonely and I still dont have someone to hold onto I dont want to be back in a relationship with you I just miss being held

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