[leopold]
FADED
by akira_chan
The rain was coming down in torrents, large walls of water dripping from dark looking storm clouds, blocking out the sun and bringing nothing but frigid winds.
It fits. Hikaru thought to himself as he leaned against the railing of a small balcony at the hotel in Kyoto. He had his forearms resting on the bar, his body hunched over as he looked out over the land below. I shouldn't be here.
He couldn't believe the Institute had scheduled him in a tournament on May 5th of all days and he'd tried as hard as he could to get out of it, to make his yearly trip to Innoshima, but they wouldn't budge. He even offered up Touya on a silver platter, but they insisted he was busy that weekend.
"This sucks." Hikaru muttered. He turned his back on the city and leaned, balancing himself precariously on his elbows, one leg crossing over the other. He wondered vaguely if the sky was crying for him, crying for the loss of his trip, and trying to drown him quite literally in memories of Sai. He tilted back even further, letting rain drops infiltrate his toned hair, sliding off the tips and down his face. He wanted to be in Innoshima. For five years he'd gone, and now that he was twenty-one it was unfair to keep him away. Why couldn't he just go?
You have responsibilities, Shindou. You know as well as I do, you can't shirk them. You're the one who wanted to become Jyudan. Don't forget that. Touya's voice haunted his memories as he questioned all he held dear. It was because of him that he'd come on this trip instead of ditching it.
He felt his heart drop down to the pit of his stomach. "I made him more important. I...I...shit." He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. How could he have done that to Sai?
Hikaru felt powerless. Yes, he loved and was devoted to Sai, but he was devoted to Touya too for some unknown reason. Whatever the other boy wanted, he did with barely a question, but never have both of those things collided. He was surprised to find Touya came out on top.
He whirled around again and leaned facing forward once more, melancholy eyes scanning the city. He didn't want to be there and he didn't want to do the stupid tournament.
He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the door open and close behind him. It didn't matter, it was probably Waya coming back to the hotel room. He just hoped he'd leave him alone.
Fortune was with Hikaru to one extent because Waya did not come outside, but failed him on another because the balcony door slid open long enough to accomodate someone stepping out and slid closed again.
"You're soaking wet."
Three words that shot straight through him, striking the core of his existance. Hikaru spun around wide-eyed, gaping at Touya Akira standing before him. "But...I...how...?"
"Waya-kun called me. You're in no condition to do anything." Akira scolded. "Much less play a game in the morning. What's the matter with you?" With the question, his voice softened, as did his eyes.
"Why would he call you of all people?"
Akira arched one of his elegant eyebrows. "Everybody knows you listen to me and you don't seem like you're about to listen to anybody else."
Hikaru snorted and turned away, but Akira stepped forward and grabbed the soppy sleeve of his sweater. "Tell me what's going on." The words were insistant, angry. Akira never took Hikaru's rejection well.
"This doesn't concern you." Hikaru spat out, pulling away.
"It concerns me when I travel six hours to come pull your sorry ass out of this little funk you've sunk into! You never do this, so what's changed? You were fine when I saw you a week ago."
"No I wasn't, I was pissed then too!"
Touya flinched. "I didn't notice."
"Well you wouldn't, would you? Just leave me alone! Why won't everyone just leave me alone?!" Hikaru slammed his hands down on the railing and looked out over the city once more, turning his back on Akira.
He didn't like that at all. Akira stared at Hikaru, something was seriously wrong with him and he was standing out in the rain like a complete idiot, about to soak himself to a deadly pneumonia. "Idiot!"
Hikaru stiffened but didn't turn back. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"I'm not the one trying to die by rain!" Akira snapped.
"I'm not trying to die!" Hikaru shouted, turning back now.
"Tell me what's wrong with you!"
"It's none of your business!"
"Everything about you is my business." Akira snapped, shouting into the wind. "You're my rival!"
"Yeah, I know." Hikaru said with a bitter laugh.
That took the fury out of Akira's sails. He stepped back from Hikaru at those words. "What...what does that mean?" He looked at him with a mournful look, confused by his reaction.
"You're my rival." He parroted back. "I don't even rate friend after nine years?"
"I...It's not like that, Shindou."
"Seems like it. You only ever talk to me about Go!"
Akira's brow furrowed. "Go is important to both of us I just thought..."
"I want to talk about more with you!"
"Like what?" Akira said, looking confused. Hikaru wasn't acting like himself at all. He'd never felt so off balance by Hikaru. It had happened a lot, but not to this degree at all. His head was spinning.
"I don't know, manga!" Hikaru said, looking exasperated. "Does it matter what the topic is?"
"Well...no, but..." Akira was speechless, looking very surprised. "Why?"
"Because I like talking with you!" Hikaru exploded. "But that doesn't mean I want to do it right now! Get the fuck away from me!"
Akira frowned and stepped towards him, reaching for him but then he frowned, stepping backwards towards the door. "Shindou I just..."
"GO!"
He swallowed and left without another word.
Hikaru cursed and slammed his hands on the railing. He could hear Akira and Waya inside the hotel room, having a not-so-quiet discussion about him and he just shook his head. He'd apologize to Akira later, for now he just needed to stand out in the rain and remember the whisps of Sai's fading memory. As he recalled their time together was fading away, he felt a tear slide down his cheek and land on one of his hands, mingling with the falling rain.
by akira_chan
The rain was coming down in torrents, large walls of water dripping from dark looking storm clouds, blocking out the sun and bringing nothing but frigid winds.
It fits. Hikaru thought to himself as he leaned against the railing of a small balcony at the hotel in Kyoto. He had his forearms resting on the bar, his body hunched over as he looked out over the land below. I shouldn't be here.
He couldn't believe the Institute had scheduled him in a tournament on May 5th of all days and he'd tried as hard as he could to get out of it, to make his yearly trip to Innoshima, but they wouldn't budge. He even offered up Touya on a silver platter, but they insisted he was busy that weekend.
"This sucks." Hikaru muttered. He turned his back on the city and leaned, balancing himself precariously on his elbows, one leg crossing over the other. He wondered vaguely if the sky was crying for him, crying for the loss of his trip, and trying to drown him quite literally in memories of Sai. He tilted back even further, letting rain drops infiltrate his toned hair, sliding off the tips and down his face. He wanted to be in Innoshima. For five years he'd gone, and now that he was twenty-one it was unfair to keep him away. Why couldn't he just go?
You have responsibilities, Shindou. You know as well as I do, you can't shirk them. You're the one who wanted to become Jyudan. Don't forget that. Touya's voice haunted his memories as he questioned all he held dear. It was because of him that he'd come on this trip instead of ditching it.
He felt his heart drop down to the pit of his stomach. "I made him more important. I...I...shit." He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. How could he have done that to Sai?
Hikaru felt powerless. Yes, he loved and was devoted to Sai, but he was devoted to Touya too for some unknown reason. Whatever the other boy wanted, he did with barely a question, but never have both of those things collided. He was surprised to find Touya came out on top.
He whirled around again and leaned facing forward once more, melancholy eyes scanning the city. He didn't want to be there and he didn't want to do the stupid tournament.
He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the door open and close behind him. It didn't matter, it was probably Waya coming back to the hotel room. He just hoped he'd leave him alone.
Fortune was with Hikaru to one extent because Waya did not come outside, but failed him on another because the balcony door slid open long enough to accomodate someone stepping out and slid closed again.
"You're soaking wet."
Three words that shot straight through him, striking the core of his existance. Hikaru spun around wide-eyed, gaping at Touya Akira standing before him. "But...I...how...?"
"Waya-kun called me. You're in no condition to do anything." Akira scolded. "Much less play a game in the morning. What's the matter with you?" With the question, his voice softened, as did his eyes.
"Why would he call you of all people?"
Akira arched one of his elegant eyebrows. "Everybody knows you listen to me and you don't seem like you're about to listen to anybody else."
Hikaru snorted and turned away, but Akira stepped forward and grabbed the soppy sleeve of his sweater. "Tell me what's going on." The words were insistant, angry. Akira never took Hikaru's rejection well.
"This doesn't concern you." Hikaru spat out, pulling away.
"It concerns me when I travel six hours to come pull your sorry ass out of this little funk you've sunk into! You never do this, so what's changed? You were fine when I saw you a week ago."
"No I wasn't, I was pissed then too!"
Touya flinched. "I didn't notice."
"Well you wouldn't, would you? Just leave me alone! Why won't everyone just leave me alone?!" Hikaru slammed his hands down on the railing and looked out over the city once more, turning his back on Akira.
He didn't like that at all. Akira stared at Hikaru, something was seriously wrong with him and he was standing out in the rain like a complete idiot, about to soak himself to a deadly pneumonia. "Idiot!"
Hikaru stiffened but didn't turn back. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"I'm not the one trying to die by rain!" Akira snapped.
"I'm not trying to die!" Hikaru shouted, turning back now.
"Tell me what's wrong with you!"
"It's none of your business!"
"Everything about you is my business." Akira snapped, shouting into the wind. "You're my rival!"
"Yeah, I know." Hikaru said with a bitter laugh.
That took the fury out of Akira's sails. He stepped back from Hikaru at those words. "What...what does that mean?" He looked at him with a mournful look, confused by his reaction.
"You're my rival." He parroted back. "I don't even rate friend after nine years?"
"I...It's not like that, Shindou."
"Seems like it. You only ever talk to me about Go!"
Akira's brow furrowed. "Go is important to both of us I just thought..."
"I want to talk about more with you!"
"Like what?" Akira said, looking confused. Hikaru wasn't acting like himself at all. He'd never felt so off balance by Hikaru. It had happened a lot, but not to this degree at all. His head was spinning.
"I don't know, manga!" Hikaru said, looking exasperated. "Does it matter what the topic is?"
"Well...no, but..." Akira was speechless, looking very surprised. "Why?"
"Because I like talking with you!" Hikaru exploded. "But that doesn't mean I want to do it right now! Get the fuck away from me!"
Akira frowned and stepped towards him, reaching for him but then he frowned, stepping backwards towards the door. "Shindou I just..."
"GO!"
He swallowed and left without another word.
Hikaru cursed and slammed his hands on the railing. He could hear Akira and Waya inside the hotel room, having a not-so-quiet discussion about him and he just shook his head. He'd apologize to Akira later, for now he just needed to stand out in the rain and remember the whisps of Sai's fading memory. As he recalled their time together was fading away, he felt a tear slide down his cheek and land on one of his hands, mingling with the falling rain.