[leopold]
INTERRUPTION, ESTRANGEMENT AND DISTORTION
by akira_chan
Akira had not known what to expect when he decided to pack up the house, but he knew now it was hard. A million times harder then he had imagined. He had played the part of the dutiful son and once he had snapped out of his shock and got his mind working again, he contacted a realtor, to get the large house listed on the market. The man had come over immediately and was visibly excited for the opportunity to sell such an expensive house. He assured Akira it would sell quickly.
He snorted, he probably just wanted the commission. Good riddance, he thought about the house. He didn't want to waste away there alone in the vast drafty thing. The flashbacks he experienced were getting irritating and he was becoming more and more anxious in the surroundings that were once safe. He was looking forward to moving.
In the past two weeks, he had not spoken to his father, but the man left him a message from time to time about storage rentals, packing things up and selling the house. Akira had not taken these things as signs of his father's return any time soon.
At this point, however, he couldn't have cared less. He was angry. Part of him couldn't blame him for wanting to leave, because he had the same feelings, but did he have to leave Akira behind?
Akira also had not returned to the Institute since getting the news. He couldn't remember if he asked for leave once more or not, but just in case, he had unplugged the household voicemail. Most of the time, he ignored his cell phone too. Other times, in the dead of night, he'd listen to those messages, seeking comfort from clumsy, awkward words from his friends.
That particular night left Akira lying on his futon in the dark, the lack of light suiting his mood that evening. He didn't even care if he was afraid anymore, he just needed to be left alone, isolated. Suddenly he whipped out the phone and let the little LCD light illuminate his face as it popped on and he pressed the button for his voicemail.
"Hey Touya. It's me. You had a game today, but you didn't show. You're not pullingout of our rivalry right?" There was a nervous laugh. The call ended there, but it made Akira smile a little every time that he heard it. No, he wasn't pulling out of his rivalry, he knew that much and it was comforting that Shindou wanted to remind him of it.
"Touya, you missed out again!" Came Shindou Hikaru's bubbly voice.
"Leave it Shindou." Waya said in the background, sounding irritated.
Hikaru apparently ignored him as well as he often did Akira. "You should have seen it! Ochi lost spectacularly. He spent an hour in the bathroom afterwards." He chuckled gleefully. "I'll show you the game next week. Promise."
As usual, Hikaru never said goodbye, he just hung up the phone. It made Akira roll his eyes much of the time. There was a beep and the next message played.
"Touya...sorry it's like four in the morning and I was hoping I'd catch you awake or something but I know that's stupid. You're okay right? I mean, I think you are and I like to think I've got a sixth sense about these things sometimes but I just wonder...I don't know what I'm talking about, sorry. It's really early and I had this dream and somehow I felt like you might be in trouble. You're not right? I...I know it hurts. Whatever it is, it must be hurting you. I just wish you'd let me help, you know? Me and 'Sumi and Waya, we'd help you. I just want you to know that we-
Another beep, another message.
"Sorry, it cut me off." Hikaru laughed almost hysterically. He sounded tired. "Anyway, we care about you, kay? So...if you want...call me back?"
He found himself sighing and rolling over onto his side. Akira pushed a button and listened to the last one again. It made his chest tighten with unshed tears and it made him realize he wasn't alone, but that's not how he wanted to feel right then. He wanted to be alone. At least, he thought he did.
But as he replayed the messages, he found himself choking up, he found himself wishing that someone was there with him. He found himself feeling lonely. Tears welled in his eyes and he dropped the phone, burrying his face in his pillow as he let loose the barrage of unshed tears, letting the droplets soak into his linens.
Akira fell into a fitful sleep, but was awakened by the ringtone going off at three in the morning. Blearily and half asleep, he answered the phone. "Mmm...'ello?" He sounded confused, as though the weight of his life hadn't landed on him yet.
"Touya." The voice said, surprised. "It's Waya-kun."
"Mmm." He answered, his head drooping as he rolled onto his stomach.
Waya sounded amused. "You're barely awake. Listen, Shindou has us all trying different times of day, different days, trying to get ahold of you. Are you...okay?"
The question brought Akira to his senses and he tensed, frowning a little, grasping the phone a little tighter. "I..." He trailed off. He couldn't answer all of a sudden, his voice caught in his throat. He swallowed a few times, tearing up again, rubbing his hand against his eyes. They burnt with the pain of unshed tears.
On the other end of the line there was quiet for a moment. "Touya?"
He couldn't help it, he sobbed a bit and shakily hung up. Akira pushed his phone away and curled up into a tight little ball. He should be over this, this should no longer happen! Why had he answered the phone in the first place? How foolish and ridiculous. For two weeks he really wanted to avoid everyone, however tonight he'd answered the phone. Why had he done that? Akira didn't understand it. He wanted to be alone...didn't he?
*****
It was cold that night and windy, but that didn't matter. Waya's hand gripped the metal train bar tightly as he struggled to stay away, seated comfortably. The train was racing through the night, breaking the darkness to pass towards a station that was somewhat familiar to him now. He hopped off the train when it came to a stop and walked along the lit platform. Thank God they lived in Tokyo, twenty-four hour train service was a godsend sometimes.
Waya ran down the steps, hopping the last two. Hikaru and Isumi would be there soon, but he lived closest so he would arrive first. It was a huge breakthrough that Akira had answered the phone but knowing he was lying there in the middle of the night crying meant that they had to go to the rescue. Their friend was in trouble.
It didn't take long to jog the route to the Touya home and soon he was out in front of the fence surrounding it. He hadn't actually been inside the huge place, but that was about to change. The place was locked so he climbed the fence easily enough, grasping the top of the spokes and hopping over. He landed on the ground, crouching low and ran to the door. For some reason he felt a serious sense of urgency. He knocked at the door loudly.
Akira started from where he was lying upstairs. Someone was at the door? It was way too late for that. What if someone was trying to break in? His breath hitched at the thought and tensed. The knocking came again. Using his hands, he pushed himself to a seated position and then he got up, wiping his eyes tiredly. Akira took shakey steps down the hall and down the stairs. He stood on tip toe and peeked out the window, but he didn't see anyone.
There was another knock, so he slowly turned the deadbolt and opened the door, peering out at his visitor. It was Waya! This was surprising, and Akira stared at him wide-eyed. He took in the sight of the other, still dressed in black track pants and a camouflage print tank top with a sweater hastily thrown over his shoulders.
"Touya, are you alright?" Waya asked softly, looking him over. Akira looked like shit. It was clear he wasn't sleeping well, nor was he eating well and he looked withdrawn and depressed. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and he looked like he could barely stand.
"I..."
"Nevermind." Waya growled, stepped forward and pulled the stunned teenager into a tight hug. "Tell me what happened. You were doing better for awhile there."
Akira swallowed. It was strange, but comforting. He sunk against Waya heavily - he wasn't able to resist the warm embrace of someone who was stronger for the moment. He needed that weakness now and again. He wasn't about to handle everything and right then he didn't care that Waya knew it. "My dad called."
"He's not here?!" Waya asked incredulously. "Where is he?" There was anger flashing in his eyes.
"Korea, I think." Akira answered, tightening his arms around Waya's back. "I've not..he's not really talking to me. He wants to sell the house."
His eyes narrowed dangerously. "He left you here alone...and he expects you to take care of everything while he's out of the country."
Akira nodded miserably. That was the truth of it and although he was incredibly angry with his father, he couldn't muster it right about then. He was too exhausted, and he was slumped in someone's arms; someone who was going to keep him from falling and drowning.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Waya asked softly, his tone changing then. His eyes softened as he looked at Akira, leaning back a bit. "We could have helped you. We want to help you." He clarified, looking a little sad. "You don't need to do it alone. You don't need to shut everyone out. I know you and I aren't that close but-"
Waya was cut off as Akira fell against him in tears again. Akira couldn't keep his emotions under control and it wasn't his fault. The other boy didn't look put out at all, he just held him, gently nudging him inside. He made sure the door was closed behind them as he held the younger one. He stepped out of his shoes and sighed a little. "Touya..."
It hurt Waya to see him like this. As much as they fought and argued, he genuinely liked and found Touya intriguing. He just wanted recognition, but his petty jealousness had no place here, not tonight. Not while his friend was in pain.
He stood there for what felt like forever, just embracing Waya, tears making the shoulder of his sweater a little damp. Akira was slightly embarrassed, but there was nothing he could do, he was completely out of control really. Akira squeezed tightly after a few minutes. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you. We weren't sure..." Waya trailed off a moment. "We weren't sure you'd let us in if we came, so when you answered the phone I was a little hopeful. And it was as I suspected, you were sitting here crying weren't you? We can't let you do that!" He said firmly.
Akira wiped his eyes, stepping back. "I'm sorry..."
"Don't do that." Waya said firmly, but his tone soft. "Don't pull away now Touya. You need us."
There was a knock and he turned to open the door, letting Isumi in and letting Isumi take care of shutting the door. Isumi took in Akira and frowned a little, concerned. He removed his shoes. "I think we all need some tea." He said softly and moved towards the kitchen.
"No!" Akira snapped suddenly, sharply and he sounded completely horrified.
Both Waya and Isumi looked at Akira with eyebrows raised. Isumi stepped closer to the younger pro and looked at him. "Why not?" His brow was knit with concern, such a strong, convicted reaction.
Akira went deathly pale and licked his dry lips. "I...she's in there. She's always in there." His words came out rushed.
"Your mother you mean." Waya said quietly, moving to grasp Akira's hand, in an attempt to keep him grounded. He could see him visibly struggling.
He nodded a few times, chewing on his bottom lip, his hand trembling as he shook in Waya's grasp.
Isumi sighed a bit and looked Akira over. "Touya-kun, she isn't there anymore. I know you know this in your mind. Are you telling us you see her there?"
Suddenly, Akira looked very worried. The way he said that made him sound insane and he knew he certainly was not. "I...maybe."
Something dawned on Waya and he touched Isumi's arm. "Why don't you go out and get us some tea?"
"Alright." He agreed and nodded, putting his shoes on again and with a worried glance back, he left the house. Somewhere around there would have tea and possibly food. It looked like Akira seriously needed it.
Waya took Akira into the living room after that, walking headstrong into the dark. He could feel the other boy tense up then and he turned and flicked the switch, illuminating the sparcely decorated room. Then he pulled Akira to the couch and sat down, encouraging him to sit right beside him so he could keep an arm around him. "You see her now, when you go there."
He was blushing with embarrassment, but he nodded.
"Alive?"
Akira swallowed thickly. "Sometimes."
Waya exhaled and blew a hair spike out of his face. "Sometimes not. Don't tell me..." He trailed off and then met Akira's green eyes. "You saw her. Were you the one who...?"
He nodded a little, looking down at the floor.
"Shit." Waya breathed and pulled Akira closer. "It's no wonder you're not doing well. Touya, you can't hide from that. I can't imagine...it must have been horrible for you. I know it would be horrible for anyone. I bet it's haunting you, but you can't let it. You need ot let this out, you can't bottle it up."
Akira was tearing up once more, there was nothing he could do about it, it was just an instinctive reaction when thinking about his mother. He felt Waya's warm hand slide up behind his head and tug him to his chest for a strong hug.
"You have to talk about this." Waya whispered against his ear. "You need to see somebody. You're not going to move past it on your own."
There was a knock at the door, but after a pause it opened on its own and closed again, remaining unlocked. The interloper kicked off his shoes and came into the living room where the light was. Hikaru was still in his pajamas, but with a coat thrown over his shoulders. He looked at Waya gratefully and went over to sit on Akira's other side, wrapping his arms around his rival's middle, leaning on his back. "Hey Touya. I'm here. Miss me?"
Akira couldn't help it, he let out a choked laugh. "No...no you wouldn't let me." He sniffled a little and wiped his eyes, looking over his shoulder at Hikaru. "I listened to your messages. I'm sorry I didn't call you back."
"Don't worry about it." Hikaru waved it off, squeezing Akira tightly. "Missed you though. I miss playing you. You're not okay, but you will be." He said confidently. "We're gonna help you, yeah?"
Waya nodded encouragingly because he could see, Akira was responding well to his rival's words and promises. "We can stay here with you. Help you pack."
Akira sniffled. "But why?"
"We're your friends."
They sat quietly after that until Isumi returned with food and drink for the four of them.
*****
It was completely different to Akira after that. The food and drink had tasted good and Waya had taken him upstairs to get some proper sleep. He promised to stay in the room and stretched out on a spare futon because it wouldn't be appropriate to share.
With the three moving in, it was like the house was a completely different place. Hikaru and Waya were so bright and cheerful, it breathed life right into the desolate, frightening place. Hikaru had taken it upon himself to open the blinds, and open a few windows, letting cool breeze infiltrate the stale air and change everything.
They ate breakfast together, settling on the floor in the living room. Hikaru and Waya shared loud stories, Isumi listened supportively, occasionally adding in details and Akira sat there, hunched over a little, smiling uncertainly as he watched and listened. They were excellent distractions. Waya had filled the other two in on the situation, so once the trash was cleared, Hikaru grinned brightly at Akira. "So, where should we start?"
Akira looked thoughtful. "My father's study I think would be easiest."
"Sounds like a plan!" Hikaru grinned and fetched some boxes he'd noticed and started assembling them.
Waya grasped Akira's hand and helped him to his feet. "Let's go. We'll get this packed up in no time."
Isumi smiled. "I'll clear up everything and I'll look over the paper and the internet to find you a new apartment."
"Thank you." Akira said softly with a shy smile as he let Waya lead him into the other room. The work was slow going, partly because he kept stopping, lost in memories, but Hikaru and Waya didn't push him. They packed up several gobans carefully, and the many cushions and mats that normally were spread out across the floor. It took up three entire boxes and Hikaru taped them up helpfully, grabbing a marker and labelling them with his childish scrawl.
Around noon as they were finishing up, Isumi appeared with more take out. "Come on, let's eat lunch. You must be starved!" He grinned broadly.
"I'm not really..." Akira started.
"Going to turn down food." Waya finished. "Come on, you're starving. You haven't been eating enough and you're thin enough as it is. Let's go!"
Hikaru grinned and grasped Akira's shoulders, pushing him out towards the living room. It was probably overwhelming him and putting Akira offbalance but that's what they were trying to do. They needed him to focus on the present, not the past. They felt he'd had enough of the past.
With the meal consumed, Isumi tapped Akira's arm. "I found a few places, come with me and take a look. While we're gone, Shindou and Waya are going to look after the kitchen."
Akira's eyes widened. "But..."
"It needs to be done." Waya said gently.
"We'll do it." Hikaru encouraged. "Go find a place!"
He swallowed. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea or not, but Akira also knew he could not do the job himself. "Okay."
*****
With everything in order before long, the entire house was packed up. With the four of them it was very easy to do. The only thing not packed up were Akira's things. He spent the morning on the phone with a moving company and the storage company, settling everything up.
They came that evening and moved out the boxes as directed. Isumi made sure to take that burden on his shoulders and encouraged Hikaru and Waya to take Akira upstairs to deal with his own personal things.
Surprisingly that was as difficult as the kitchen. Akira suddenly gasped out of nowhere and just glanced around the room. "I...I don't want to move."
Recognizing an anxiety attack now having been with him for a week, both boys converged on him, embracing him gently. "We know." Hikaru started.
"You don't want to move." Waya repeated. "You must be scared because you didn't expect it right?"
Akira swallowed and nodded.
"You know you can't stay here. It's not good for you, and you shouldn't push yourself. It's stressing you out, isn't it?"
"I know." Akira said quietly. "I know. It's hard."
Hikaru nodded empathetically. "I'm not ready to move out either, but unfortunately you have to. You can do it. We'll take care of you." He half-smiled at him. "You're not alone. Waya knows tons of things about living alone."
"Really?" He asked, glancing at the older boy.
Waya laughed nervously and scratched his cheek. "Some things, yeah. I have my own apartment."
"Okay. I'll do it. I can do this."
Hikaru and Waya shared smiles and let go of Akira. Crisis averted.
To be continued...
previous part
by akira_chan
Akira had not known what to expect when he decided to pack up the house, but he knew now it was hard. A million times harder then he had imagined. He had played the part of the dutiful son and once he had snapped out of his shock and got his mind working again, he contacted a realtor, to get the large house listed on the market. The man had come over immediately and was visibly excited for the opportunity to sell such an expensive house. He assured Akira it would sell quickly.
He snorted, he probably just wanted the commission. Good riddance, he thought about the house. He didn't want to waste away there alone in the vast drafty thing. The flashbacks he experienced were getting irritating and he was becoming more and more anxious in the surroundings that were once safe. He was looking forward to moving.
In the past two weeks, he had not spoken to his father, but the man left him a message from time to time about storage rentals, packing things up and selling the house. Akira had not taken these things as signs of his father's return any time soon.
At this point, however, he couldn't have cared less. He was angry. Part of him couldn't blame him for wanting to leave, because he had the same feelings, but did he have to leave Akira behind?
Akira also had not returned to the Institute since getting the news. He couldn't remember if he asked for leave once more or not, but just in case, he had unplugged the household voicemail. Most of the time, he ignored his cell phone too. Other times, in the dead of night, he'd listen to those messages, seeking comfort from clumsy, awkward words from his friends.
That particular night left Akira lying on his futon in the dark, the lack of light suiting his mood that evening. He didn't even care if he was afraid anymore, he just needed to be left alone, isolated. Suddenly he whipped out the phone and let the little LCD light illuminate his face as it popped on and he pressed the button for his voicemail.
"Hey Touya. It's me. You had a game today, but you didn't show. You're not pullingout of our rivalry right?" There was a nervous laugh. The call ended there, but it made Akira smile a little every time that he heard it. No, he wasn't pulling out of his rivalry, he knew that much and it was comforting that Shindou wanted to remind him of it.
"Touya, you missed out again!" Came Shindou Hikaru's bubbly voice.
"Leave it Shindou." Waya said in the background, sounding irritated.
Hikaru apparently ignored him as well as he often did Akira. "You should have seen it! Ochi lost spectacularly. He spent an hour in the bathroom afterwards." He chuckled gleefully. "I'll show you the game next week. Promise."
As usual, Hikaru never said goodbye, he just hung up the phone. It made Akira roll his eyes much of the time. There was a beep and the next message played.
"Touya...sorry it's like four in the morning and I was hoping I'd catch you awake or something but I know that's stupid. You're okay right? I mean, I think you are and I like to think I've got a sixth sense about these things sometimes but I just wonder...I don't know what I'm talking about, sorry. It's really early and I had this dream and somehow I felt like you might be in trouble. You're not right? I...I know it hurts. Whatever it is, it must be hurting you. I just wish you'd let me help, you know? Me and 'Sumi and Waya, we'd help you. I just want you to know that we-
Another beep, another message.
"Sorry, it cut me off." Hikaru laughed almost hysterically. He sounded tired. "Anyway, we care about you, kay? So...if you want...call me back?"
He found himself sighing and rolling over onto his side. Akira pushed a button and listened to the last one again. It made his chest tighten with unshed tears and it made him realize he wasn't alone, but that's not how he wanted to feel right then. He wanted to be alone. At least, he thought he did.
But as he replayed the messages, he found himself choking up, he found himself wishing that someone was there with him. He found himself feeling lonely. Tears welled in his eyes and he dropped the phone, burrying his face in his pillow as he let loose the barrage of unshed tears, letting the droplets soak into his linens.
Akira fell into a fitful sleep, but was awakened by the ringtone going off at three in the morning. Blearily and half asleep, he answered the phone. "Mmm...'ello?" He sounded confused, as though the weight of his life hadn't landed on him yet.
"Touya." The voice said, surprised. "It's Waya-kun."
"Mmm." He answered, his head drooping as he rolled onto his stomach.
Waya sounded amused. "You're barely awake. Listen, Shindou has us all trying different times of day, different days, trying to get ahold of you. Are you...okay?"
The question brought Akira to his senses and he tensed, frowning a little, grasping the phone a little tighter. "I..." He trailed off. He couldn't answer all of a sudden, his voice caught in his throat. He swallowed a few times, tearing up again, rubbing his hand against his eyes. They burnt with the pain of unshed tears.
On the other end of the line there was quiet for a moment. "Touya?"
He couldn't help it, he sobbed a bit and shakily hung up. Akira pushed his phone away and curled up into a tight little ball. He should be over this, this should no longer happen! Why had he answered the phone in the first place? How foolish and ridiculous. For two weeks he really wanted to avoid everyone, however tonight he'd answered the phone. Why had he done that? Akira didn't understand it. He wanted to be alone...didn't he?
*****
It was cold that night and windy, but that didn't matter. Waya's hand gripped the metal train bar tightly as he struggled to stay away, seated comfortably. The train was racing through the night, breaking the darkness to pass towards a station that was somewhat familiar to him now. He hopped off the train when it came to a stop and walked along the lit platform. Thank God they lived in Tokyo, twenty-four hour train service was a godsend sometimes.
Waya ran down the steps, hopping the last two. Hikaru and Isumi would be there soon, but he lived closest so he would arrive first. It was a huge breakthrough that Akira had answered the phone but knowing he was lying there in the middle of the night crying meant that they had to go to the rescue. Their friend was in trouble.
It didn't take long to jog the route to the Touya home and soon he was out in front of the fence surrounding it. He hadn't actually been inside the huge place, but that was about to change. The place was locked so he climbed the fence easily enough, grasping the top of the spokes and hopping over. He landed on the ground, crouching low and ran to the door. For some reason he felt a serious sense of urgency. He knocked at the door loudly.
Akira started from where he was lying upstairs. Someone was at the door? It was way too late for that. What if someone was trying to break in? His breath hitched at the thought and tensed. The knocking came again. Using his hands, he pushed himself to a seated position and then he got up, wiping his eyes tiredly. Akira took shakey steps down the hall and down the stairs. He stood on tip toe and peeked out the window, but he didn't see anyone.
There was another knock, so he slowly turned the deadbolt and opened the door, peering out at his visitor. It was Waya! This was surprising, and Akira stared at him wide-eyed. He took in the sight of the other, still dressed in black track pants and a camouflage print tank top with a sweater hastily thrown over his shoulders.
"Touya, are you alright?" Waya asked softly, looking him over. Akira looked like shit. It was clear he wasn't sleeping well, nor was he eating well and he looked withdrawn and depressed. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and he looked like he could barely stand.
"I..."
"Nevermind." Waya growled, stepped forward and pulled the stunned teenager into a tight hug. "Tell me what happened. You were doing better for awhile there."
Akira swallowed. It was strange, but comforting. He sunk against Waya heavily - he wasn't able to resist the warm embrace of someone who was stronger for the moment. He needed that weakness now and again. He wasn't about to handle everything and right then he didn't care that Waya knew it. "My dad called."
"He's not here?!" Waya asked incredulously. "Where is he?" There was anger flashing in his eyes.
"Korea, I think." Akira answered, tightening his arms around Waya's back. "I've not..he's not really talking to me. He wants to sell the house."
His eyes narrowed dangerously. "He left you here alone...and he expects you to take care of everything while he's out of the country."
Akira nodded miserably. That was the truth of it and although he was incredibly angry with his father, he couldn't muster it right about then. He was too exhausted, and he was slumped in someone's arms; someone who was going to keep him from falling and drowning.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Waya asked softly, his tone changing then. His eyes softened as he looked at Akira, leaning back a bit. "We could have helped you. We want to help you." He clarified, looking a little sad. "You don't need to do it alone. You don't need to shut everyone out. I know you and I aren't that close but-"
Waya was cut off as Akira fell against him in tears again. Akira couldn't keep his emotions under control and it wasn't his fault. The other boy didn't look put out at all, he just held him, gently nudging him inside. He made sure the door was closed behind them as he held the younger one. He stepped out of his shoes and sighed a little. "Touya..."
It hurt Waya to see him like this. As much as they fought and argued, he genuinely liked and found Touya intriguing. He just wanted recognition, but his petty jealousness had no place here, not tonight. Not while his friend was in pain.
He stood there for what felt like forever, just embracing Waya, tears making the shoulder of his sweater a little damp. Akira was slightly embarrassed, but there was nothing he could do, he was completely out of control really. Akira squeezed tightly after a few minutes. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you. We weren't sure..." Waya trailed off a moment. "We weren't sure you'd let us in if we came, so when you answered the phone I was a little hopeful. And it was as I suspected, you were sitting here crying weren't you? We can't let you do that!" He said firmly.
Akira wiped his eyes, stepping back. "I'm sorry..."
"Don't do that." Waya said firmly, but his tone soft. "Don't pull away now Touya. You need us."
There was a knock and he turned to open the door, letting Isumi in and letting Isumi take care of shutting the door. Isumi took in Akira and frowned a little, concerned. He removed his shoes. "I think we all need some tea." He said softly and moved towards the kitchen.
"No!" Akira snapped suddenly, sharply and he sounded completely horrified.
Both Waya and Isumi looked at Akira with eyebrows raised. Isumi stepped closer to the younger pro and looked at him. "Why not?" His brow was knit with concern, such a strong, convicted reaction.
Akira went deathly pale and licked his dry lips. "I...she's in there. She's always in there." His words came out rushed.
"Your mother you mean." Waya said quietly, moving to grasp Akira's hand, in an attempt to keep him grounded. He could see him visibly struggling.
He nodded a few times, chewing on his bottom lip, his hand trembling as he shook in Waya's grasp.
Isumi sighed a bit and looked Akira over. "Touya-kun, she isn't there anymore. I know you know this in your mind. Are you telling us you see her there?"
Suddenly, Akira looked very worried. The way he said that made him sound insane and he knew he certainly was not. "I...maybe."
Something dawned on Waya and he touched Isumi's arm. "Why don't you go out and get us some tea?"
"Alright." He agreed and nodded, putting his shoes on again and with a worried glance back, he left the house. Somewhere around there would have tea and possibly food. It looked like Akira seriously needed it.
Waya took Akira into the living room after that, walking headstrong into the dark. He could feel the other boy tense up then and he turned and flicked the switch, illuminating the sparcely decorated room. Then he pulled Akira to the couch and sat down, encouraging him to sit right beside him so he could keep an arm around him. "You see her now, when you go there."
He was blushing with embarrassment, but he nodded.
"Alive?"
Akira swallowed thickly. "Sometimes."
Waya exhaled and blew a hair spike out of his face. "Sometimes not. Don't tell me..." He trailed off and then met Akira's green eyes. "You saw her. Were you the one who...?"
He nodded a little, looking down at the floor.
"Shit." Waya breathed and pulled Akira closer. "It's no wonder you're not doing well. Touya, you can't hide from that. I can't imagine...it must have been horrible for you. I know it would be horrible for anyone. I bet it's haunting you, but you can't let it. You need ot let this out, you can't bottle it up."
Akira was tearing up once more, there was nothing he could do about it, it was just an instinctive reaction when thinking about his mother. He felt Waya's warm hand slide up behind his head and tug him to his chest for a strong hug.
"You have to talk about this." Waya whispered against his ear. "You need to see somebody. You're not going to move past it on your own."
There was a knock at the door, but after a pause it opened on its own and closed again, remaining unlocked. The interloper kicked off his shoes and came into the living room where the light was. Hikaru was still in his pajamas, but with a coat thrown over his shoulders. He looked at Waya gratefully and went over to sit on Akira's other side, wrapping his arms around his rival's middle, leaning on his back. "Hey Touya. I'm here. Miss me?"
Akira couldn't help it, he let out a choked laugh. "No...no you wouldn't let me." He sniffled a little and wiped his eyes, looking over his shoulder at Hikaru. "I listened to your messages. I'm sorry I didn't call you back."
"Don't worry about it." Hikaru waved it off, squeezing Akira tightly. "Missed you though. I miss playing you. You're not okay, but you will be." He said confidently. "We're gonna help you, yeah?"
Waya nodded encouragingly because he could see, Akira was responding well to his rival's words and promises. "We can stay here with you. Help you pack."
Akira sniffled. "But why?"
"We're your friends."
They sat quietly after that until Isumi returned with food and drink for the four of them.
*****
It was completely different to Akira after that. The food and drink had tasted good and Waya had taken him upstairs to get some proper sleep. He promised to stay in the room and stretched out on a spare futon because it wouldn't be appropriate to share.
With the three moving in, it was like the house was a completely different place. Hikaru and Waya were so bright and cheerful, it breathed life right into the desolate, frightening place. Hikaru had taken it upon himself to open the blinds, and open a few windows, letting cool breeze infiltrate the stale air and change everything.
They ate breakfast together, settling on the floor in the living room. Hikaru and Waya shared loud stories, Isumi listened supportively, occasionally adding in details and Akira sat there, hunched over a little, smiling uncertainly as he watched and listened. They were excellent distractions. Waya had filled the other two in on the situation, so once the trash was cleared, Hikaru grinned brightly at Akira. "So, where should we start?"
Akira looked thoughtful. "My father's study I think would be easiest."
"Sounds like a plan!" Hikaru grinned and fetched some boxes he'd noticed and started assembling them.
Waya grasped Akira's hand and helped him to his feet. "Let's go. We'll get this packed up in no time."
Isumi smiled. "I'll clear up everything and I'll look over the paper and the internet to find you a new apartment."
"Thank you." Akira said softly with a shy smile as he let Waya lead him into the other room. The work was slow going, partly because he kept stopping, lost in memories, but Hikaru and Waya didn't push him. They packed up several gobans carefully, and the many cushions and mats that normally were spread out across the floor. It took up three entire boxes and Hikaru taped them up helpfully, grabbing a marker and labelling them with his childish scrawl.
Around noon as they were finishing up, Isumi appeared with more take out. "Come on, let's eat lunch. You must be starved!" He grinned broadly.
"I'm not really..." Akira started.
"Going to turn down food." Waya finished. "Come on, you're starving. You haven't been eating enough and you're thin enough as it is. Let's go!"
Hikaru grinned and grasped Akira's shoulders, pushing him out towards the living room. It was probably overwhelming him and putting Akira offbalance but that's what they were trying to do. They needed him to focus on the present, not the past. They felt he'd had enough of the past.
With the meal consumed, Isumi tapped Akira's arm. "I found a few places, come with me and take a look. While we're gone, Shindou and Waya are going to look after the kitchen."
Akira's eyes widened. "But..."
"It needs to be done." Waya said gently.
"We'll do it." Hikaru encouraged. "Go find a place!"
He swallowed. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea or not, but Akira also knew he could not do the job himself. "Okay."
*****
With everything in order before long, the entire house was packed up. With the four of them it was very easy to do. The only thing not packed up were Akira's things. He spent the morning on the phone with a moving company and the storage company, settling everything up.
They came that evening and moved out the boxes as directed. Isumi made sure to take that burden on his shoulders and encouraged Hikaru and Waya to take Akira upstairs to deal with his own personal things.
Surprisingly that was as difficult as the kitchen. Akira suddenly gasped out of nowhere and just glanced around the room. "I...I don't want to move."
Recognizing an anxiety attack now having been with him for a week, both boys converged on him, embracing him gently. "We know." Hikaru started.
"You don't want to move." Waya repeated. "You must be scared because you didn't expect it right?"
Akira swallowed and nodded.
"You know you can't stay here. It's not good for you, and you shouldn't push yourself. It's stressing you out, isn't it?"
"I know." Akira said quietly. "I know. It's hard."
Hikaru nodded empathetically. "I'm not ready to move out either, but unfortunately you have to. You can do it. We'll take care of you." He half-smiled at him. "You're not alone. Waya knows tons of things about living alone."
"Really?" He asked, glancing at the older boy.
Waya laughed nervously and scratched his cheek. "Some things, yeah. I have my own apartment."
"Okay. I'll do it. I can do this."
Hikaru and Waya shared smiles and let go of Akira. Crisis averted.
To be continued...
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