For Fuck's Sake: No Liquids!

[antarctico]

The geniuses running Homeland Security have just banned all liquids and gel products from airline luggage. This means nothing in liquid form except breast milk and juice for the baby gets on the plane. Obviously, this brilliant strategy was coined by balding, glasses wearing white men whose heath and beauty needs can be met by a bar of Ivory soap

Comments

[mark_argent]

They will also be testing your pee for "liquid explosives" so remember to eat a lot of asparagus the night before.

[antarctico]

If they want liquid explosives, how about a nice heaping bowl of turned Chili Con Carne the night before?

Rectal terrorism, next on Nightline.

[pastor_saturn]

Rectum, hell!

Two thoughts:

[redsteve]

1- So, you think you'll restrict me from carrying anything onto the plane by eliminating all the useful items I could bring. Fine, I'm bringing three cinderblocks duct taped together as my item. Or maybe just a big garbage bag of dirt.

2- If they won't let you carry a book, get your friends to get sharpies and transcribe as much as possible of a book onto your skin. Remember to orient the words as much as possible so you can read them without assistance. Slowly, as the flight progresses, you roll up your sleeves...
I'm expecting people to get pretty uncomfortable about the time you get midway through chapter three.

Re: Two thoughts:

[antarctico]

Why the hell aren't you running things?

Re: Two thoughts:

[redsteve]

It's been suggested before, but I don't want to be accoutable to an electorate.

I'm holding out for "World Tyrant"