*stifling gigglefits to type*

[ante_luce]

Comments from my last entry whipped into something vaguely resembling a storyline for your reading pleasure. Minor edits to make things flow and fit and such.

This is crack.

And all your fault.

Credit for insanity goes to: bookscrazygirl, bookworm_faith, drharper, JadeTarma, kyra_neko_rei, nekohitori, sanjuno, vericus and wereinotmyself. (If I've missed anyone, apologies, crack giggles affect my cognitive functions. Ping me and I'

Comments

[mmouse15]

Oh, man, I laughed so hard...I could just see this happening.

Begin transmission:
Megatron: Prime, I've called to, uh...
Prime: Yes, Megatron?
Megatron: Could you possibly control those two? My entire army is out there watching them!
Prime: No, I can't, and why would this be a problem?
Megatron: You can't fight a war without an army!
Prime: So you're calling to concede?
Megatron:...*fumes*...maybe?

[ante_luce]

*snickerfits*

Optimus: Now all we have to worry about is how to phrase the archival data.
Jazz: What? 'Rabid interfacing on the parts of Optimus Prime's Second and Third distracted the 'Cons and caused Megatron to surrender due to lack of resources' won't work?
Prowl: We're going for something that won't cause spark attacks in the generations that have to read it in the future.
Jazz: Hey, at least they'll pay attention in History class. I know I didn't.
Prowl: If they use it in History. The rate we're going, this will end up in the archives as the Cybertronian Karma Sutra, with 'the war ended and the Decepticons surrendered' as a footnote.
Optimus: *wonders if he was better off with the war still going on*

[sanjuno]

Skywarp: I like being distracted, and the ribbons are shiney.
Thundercracker: Can you show us that thing with the cuffs again?
Starscream: What with how fond you Autobots are of bondage, our descendants are all going to think that the war was a long, elaborate role playing scene.
Autobots: *stare*
Optimus: ... Have you been here the whole time?
Seekers: Yep.
Starscream: *waves Reflector camera around* I've been recording everything for prosterity as well!
Prowl: *pulls out flask from hip compartment*
Prime: *motions to Prowls drink*
Prowl & Prime: *pass flash back and forth while Seekers and Ops discuss methods of "bringing the spark back into your interfacing life"*

*giggles madly*

[ante_luce]

Why is this not stopping? Why am I not stopping? 0_0;;

Optimus: ... How did you deal with this under Sentinel?
Prowl: With high grade. *sip*
Optimus: And you are not fritzed by high grade abuse, how?
Prowl: *is not about to tell Prime his secret* Who says I'm not? I let this continue, didn't I?
Optimus: *stare* *twitch*
Prowl: The overloads really do make up for everything else.

Jazz: Hey, Prowler! Get over here, we wanna try something!
Prowl: They're singing my song. Toodles, Prime.
Optimus: *fizzt*
Prowl: *sigh* Skywarp, 'port him down to Ratchet, please.
SW: Why should I?
Prowl: You can 'port away, so Ratchet can't hit you, and there are a number of different points on a seeker frame, that, when subjected to certain pressures and voltages, will suspend the mech in an extended, drawn out riot of pleasure that ends in an overload when the applying bot wants it to. If you want me to do this to you

Because crack is an addiction? *shrugs*

[sanjuno]

SW: *ports in* Medic! *drops Prime on a berth and ports out*
Ratchet: Primus fraggit! Not again. *wings a wrench at Prime for lack of a better target* All the wisdom of past Autobot leaders and you can't handle a little innuendo?
Prime: *fizzt!*
=/=
Spike: *stares at door to command center, from which the most unholy of noises are emerging* What the hell are they doing in there?
Bee: I think Prowl is demonstrating to the Seekers how he managed to snag Jazz and keep him hopelessly devoted.
Carly: ... Wow. Mech must be something else.
Bee: Oh, you have no idea.
Spike: Huh, really? I suppose you never know with the quiet ones. But I still don't see what's so great about it that you'd call off the war.
Carly: You've got a point. I mean, humans have started wars for love and sex, but we've never actually stopped one for that reason

... Healthier than other addictions, I suppose...

[ante_luce]

Still later...

Spike: *flopped over 'Bee's frame* ... Okay, I think I see your point.
Carly: *also flopped over her mechs, smirking* ... I dunno. I'm not so convinced...
'Bee: *smirk* Wait 'till I show you the rest of it.
Spike: 0_0 'Rest of it'?
'Bee: It can wait 'till we've all caught some recharge. *happy purr*

Over in the Seeker+Porsche+Datsun just onlining afterglow pile...

Jazz: So... How did Soundwave learn that trick?
Prowl: I learnt it from him actually.
Jazz: o_0
Prowl: The mech has six sparklings. He didn't get them on his own. *to Seekers* Has he done *detailed description of incredibly kinky act* to you?
Seekers: O_O ... No.
(Skywarp: That's legal? TC: That's possible? SS: That's unfair. Why did Prowl get to experience it and not us

[sanjuno]

=Still later yet...=

Spike: Holy slag.
Carly: Okay, I think I'm very thoroughly convinced now.
Bee: Told ya. *smug!*
Spike & Carly: *exchange look* *pounce Bee!*
Bee: *happy purr*

=/=

Screamer: Skyfire! Watch this for me will you? *drops of crate and runs off*
Skyfire: ... *opens crate despite self*
Cassette Cons & Bots: *look up at Skyfire from sleepy pile*
Ratbat: Light off! *wails*
Eject: Tryin' a sleep... *whines*
Skyfire: *closes crate* ... the slag?

=/=

Seekers: *port into Blasters quarters*
Soundwave and Blaster: *in the middle of incedibly kinky act*
Warp: Hey! ^_^
Blaster: Eeep!
Soundwave: Query: Reason for inturruption?
Warp: First off, ther is no slagging way a boom box can outlast us.
Cracker: Secondly, we've arranged for someone trustworthy to watch the kids for the next long while.
Screamer: And thirdly, we've got first dibs. Now you either play with us or go away.
Blaster: *whimpers*
Wave: Seekers: Cute when jealous.
Seekers: We'll show you cute. *pounce

[ante_luce]

Ratchet: Now that the Prime's settled, it's my turn to get some. *grabs Wheeljack*
Jack: ^_^ *glee*

And even more later still...

Skyfire: *sticks head into Blaster's quarters* Blaster, Soundwave, your cassettes want in. Now.
Blaster: *tired & snuggled up with Soundwave* M'kay.
Cassettes: *pile onto both tape players to continue recharge*
Soundwave: *still in recharge, curls around Blaster*
Skyfire: *sigh* *looks about for seekers* *spots seeker pile* Hmmm...

SS: *wakes up* WTFrag! *is tied up with...* *checks* *with ribbon?* 0_0;;
Skyfire: Morning, Starscream.
SS: ... Let me go?
SF: I don't think so. *purr* Because it's occurred to me that while I got to unwrap my present, I never got to play with it. And I wouldn't want the Ops mechs to think I was ungrateful, would I? *devious smirk*
SS: *gasping* ... No, don't want that at all- ah!

TC: 'Warp, where's Screamer?
*shrieking*
SW: There he is! ^_^ He and Skyfire sound busy. Leave 'em alone for now?
TC: *shrug* Why not? We have to find Reflector and process the pictures anyway.

[mmouse15]

At this rate, you're gonna end up with enough for another crack!fic (not that I'm complaining, mind you). ^_^

~JadeTarma

[ante_luce]

Well, I think this one's run its course already, but who knows?