(no subject)
You... came as a gift, didn't you, Mori-senpai? Santa was just a little late, or maybe you were too big to carry - maybe he had to leave you behind a little while, and it's good you waited - or maybe you made your own way, because you're just that kind of a hero, and Mori-senpai, you... you never want anything for yourself, do you?
If you were a Christmas present, you'd be the sort with very shiny wrapping, the kind whose tags people tear off in a fuss. You'd be really expensive and really undeserved, and then people'd keep you for a long time. I hope... I hope you won't mind staying in this household too.
EVERYONE GET IN THE VAN! DADDY'S FIGHTING CRIME NOW!
Don't worry, stay relaxed: Daddy's roaming, so the streets are safe! And, er, hopefully, a much nicer shade of turqoise, when we're done: Kaoru, Honey-senpai, Mori-senpai, Haruhi - there has to be something we can do about it.
If you think Daddy's unprepared, you have another thing coming - in addition to the lethal Tama-kick and his suave charm, Secret Agent H - 0 - S - T has a super weapon - Bessie, the Justice Armadillo!
Evil Overlords, beware. Bessie and Daddy are undercover, so this is a really big secret, and if you're a meanie-type-person, just shut your eyes already, you're not seeing any of this! It's all right to cower too well, er, I suppose Daddy can hold your hand if you're really afraid, and don't worry, Honey-senpai doesn't get unleashed for biting privileges unless you do something super-ugly, like telling a pretty princess her new dress doesn't fit, or pu... shing... a granny...down... the... sta... staaaa... stair- BUT WHY WOULD YOU EVER, THAT'S JUST SO HORRIBLE, ROADS NEED SLOW DRIVERS TOO, AND LITTLE CHILDREN NEED THE LOVING WARMTH OF REALLY WRINKLED HAND HOLDING THEM CLOSE -
...you know, the world would be a much better place if every villain just took time off to buy nice hand lotion for his granny. Daddy can recommend you some. He uses five himself, you know ♥
Hmmm, you don't suppose Daddy needs more things, do you? More equipment? Where's a villain? Daddy'll run a pink-raid!
[ ooc: I'm sorry for the bad 'shop! It's supposed to say "JUSTICE" on the armadillo >D ]