So, magic
I can't believe the last four days I had. Super-awesome.
So, many years ago, while I was in pre-med, depressed, I ran into a random girl on Yahoo pool. We talked about poetry or some such. Nothing spectacular. She was a punk girl. Cute as hell. Sort of anti-social despite everything. When I dropped out of med school, I had no friends who I figured would understand and I certainly couldn't talk to my family,being hopped up on Lithium and later Carbamezapine. So I talked to her and a truly generous and kind middle-aged English/Scottish? bank employee guy with a taste for bad puns (he's probably dead now. RIP Morgan) That fall was the loneliest, lowest point in my life. I'd failed at everything. The future looked bleak. I even tried to kill myself once. I was doing any and every drug I could find with friends I hated, living with my parents who I also hated for not raising me to be stronger. Crazy as it sounds, two strangers were all I had to talk to. This girl was about to enter her first relationship then and for some weird reason, I was jealous, even though I knew she lived very far away and the odds of us meeting were next to zero.
Fast forward to last Friday. She broke up with her first boyfriend and came up to Jersey to see me. And she'd cared for and loved me all this while, through all of it. We rarely talked that much once I got my life together. Seeing her was not on my priority list. I felt kindness and gratitude and a great affection for her but not much more. Until very recently, I was juggling three people. I was supposed to go on a date with another this saturday that I blew off even though it was made over a month ago.
So I pick her up at the airport. We kiss like we'd known each other for ages, which we have really, given that it's been almost 7 years. She gives me a pack of Djarum Black cigarettes which I hadn't ever smoked. Lights em up for me too, as you gotta, since I promised my mom many years ago that I wouldnt light a cigarette as long as I live. On the bus, her mom calls and I talk to her and reassure her that I'll take care of her daughter. I am reminded of the immense fragility that I've been given to hold, a girl rebuilding her life after an abusive relationship, a girl in the big city for the first time, a girl I've known and not known. She feels much less anxious after speaking with me. I'm charming.
A sampler of things we did thus far in chronological order
1) Figuring out her body map. Kissing all her tattoos. She has two pandas above each breast. A zombie version of her on her arm. Tod is freiheit. A bunny. An angel of death. A column of large red stars on her spine. etc. She's got 10, I think. We fool around for three hours and are late for everything.
2) I take her to a DnD game. No girl has ever been to one of those=rift in space-time continuum. She gets a kick out of the humor. We're all very funny people, Miguel and Lou apparently. However, the greatest laugh of the night was reserved for the timing of Joe's fart. Seriously. Like any guy, I was very confused by a girl who can laugh at farts with a bunch of dudes. They've pretty much adopted her.
3) Hanging out with Jacob.
4) Lots of sex. Some of the best I've ever had. I think sex is one of those things you get better at with age and practice. I don't think I could keep going this much when I was a teenager even or make anyone come so much. All told, I was fairly mediocre for a long time. I think it finally fell into place with Jessi or Lisa. Got over my mild distaste for cunnilingus and assholes and controlling people in bed and such. Some of it probably has to do with finally being at peace with my body and other people's bodies. Feels great to finally think you're good at sex.
5) Finally tore ourselves out of bed to go into the City. Yay. Showed her around some. Walked across the Brooklyn Bridge.
6) Autographed copy of Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor.
7) Just-out-of-prison-Hobo accosts us and instead of asking for money, asks us to cherish our mothers. Tells her she's got beautiful eyes and that I'm a lucky man. Says she loves me more than I'll ever know and that this is as good as it'll get for me if I cheat on her or anything. Makes some vague freaky statements that ring true to our situation.
8) Her first date. Ever. And it was at a Provencal French restaurant. Moving up in the world :p I had no idea she'd never been taken out before. A guy paying for her=new, apparently and somewhat uncomfortable, given her previous experience was a deadbeat. I'm making up for lost time.
9) I take her absinthe virginity.
10) The Strand. I read her random Chinese poetry in the stacks. And read the beautiful first two pages of Bel Canto (uber-sensual btw) while perched on a ladder looking down. Some dude passing by gives me the thumbs-up.
11) Punk rock bar called Drop-off Service on the Lower East Side that used to be a laundromat. We drink German beer and cider. I didn't know they were fancy. Bartender looked at me funny when I said Sam Adams :p
12) Zagat rated restaurant/bar called Bar A or some such. We fuck in the restroom. Then we eat some fucking great food. Then we leave without paying. Totally raped that restaurant. Then I bought her a couple daisies.
13) On the train ride home, we sit opposite each other. I have never seen more desire in anybody's eyes than I did in her. The old man sitting beside her was all omg. And the three girls sitting beside me were so confused by the intensity of the way she was looking at me. I will take that memory of her wanting me to my grave. It was quite literally electric between us and the sex afterwards was cathartic as all hell.
14) Wake up at two and fool around till five at which point I get hungry. Its raining out so we can't go to Tops Diner but also, cant find a single place that delivers at that hour.
15) I am officially Captain Ole Cheese Bastard. At this point, I can turn pretty much anything into a compliment or innuendo and afterwards, hum even Nickelback.
16) Peruvian restaurant. Lady there thinks we're uber-cute.
17) Little cute girl at the grocery store walks up and says "Hello friend"
18) Walk in the park on a sunny day. So at peace. Lying down on her lap on a park bench. Uber-idyllic.
19) Do her three ways from Sunday and discover a position I've never tried before. In it, we're so animalistic that my damn computer bounces right off the bed. Pain of Salvation's Remedy Lane is sex music.
20) I am pretty much the only person who can treat Bill Withers-itis-itis. True fact.
So, many years ago, while I was in pre-med, depressed, I ran into a random girl on Yahoo pool. We talked about poetry or some such. Nothing spectacular. She was a punk girl. Cute as hell. Sort of anti-social despite everything. When I dropped out of med school, I had no friends who I figured would understand and I certainly couldn't talk to my family,being hopped up on Lithium and later Carbamezapine. So I talked to her and a truly generous and kind middle-aged English/Scottish? bank employee guy with a taste for bad puns (he's probably dead now. RIP Morgan) That fall was the loneliest, lowest point in my life. I'd failed at everything. The future looked bleak. I even tried to kill myself once. I was doing any and every drug I could find with friends I hated, living with my parents who I also hated for not raising me to be stronger. Crazy as it sounds, two strangers were all I had to talk to. This girl was about to enter her first relationship then and for some weird reason, I was jealous, even though I knew she lived very far away and the odds of us meeting were next to zero.
Fast forward to last Friday. She broke up with her first boyfriend and came up to Jersey to see me. And she'd cared for and loved me all this while, through all of it. We rarely talked that much once I got my life together. Seeing her was not on my priority list. I felt kindness and gratitude and a great affection for her but not much more. Until very recently, I was juggling three people. I was supposed to go on a date with another this saturday that I blew off even though it was made over a month ago.
So I pick her up at the airport. We kiss like we'd known each other for ages, which we have really, given that it's been almost 7 years. She gives me a pack of Djarum Black cigarettes which I hadn't ever smoked. Lights em up for me too, as you gotta, since I promised my mom many years ago that I wouldnt light a cigarette as long as I live. On the bus, her mom calls and I talk to her and reassure her that I'll take care of her daughter. I am reminded of the immense fragility that I've been given to hold, a girl rebuilding her life after an abusive relationship, a girl in the big city for the first time, a girl I've known and not known. She feels much less anxious after speaking with me. I'm charming.
A sampler of things we did thus far in chronological order
1) Figuring out her body map. Kissing all her tattoos. She has two pandas above each breast. A zombie version of her on her arm. Tod is freiheit. A bunny. An angel of death. A column of large red stars on her spine. etc. She's got 10, I think. We fool around for three hours and are late for everything.
2) I take her to a DnD game. No girl has ever been to one of those=rift in space-time continuum. She gets a kick out of the humor. We're all very funny people, Miguel and Lou apparently. However, the greatest laugh of the night was reserved for the timing of Joe's fart. Seriously. Like any guy, I was very confused by a girl who can laugh at farts with a bunch of dudes. They've pretty much adopted her.
3) Hanging out with Jacob.
4) Lots of sex. Some of the best I've ever had. I think sex is one of those things you get better at with age and practice. I don't think I could keep going this much when I was a teenager even or make anyone come so much. All told, I was fairly mediocre for a long time. I think it finally fell into place with Jessi or Lisa. Got over my mild distaste for cunnilingus and assholes and controlling people in bed and such. Some of it probably has to do with finally being at peace with my body and other people's bodies. Feels great to finally think you're good at sex.
5) Finally tore ourselves out of bed to go into the City. Yay. Showed her around some. Walked across the Brooklyn Bridge.
6) Autographed copy of Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor.
7) Just-out-of-prison-Hobo accosts us and instead of asking for money, asks us to cherish our mothers. Tells her she's got beautiful eyes and that I'm a lucky man. Says she loves me more than I'll ever know and that this is as good as it'll get for me if I cheat on her or anything. Makes some vague freaky statements that ring true to our situation.
8) Her first date. Ever. And it was at a Provencal French restaurant. Moving up in the world :p I had no idea she'd never been taken out before. A guy paying for her=new, apparently and somewhat uncomfortable, given her previous experience was a deadbeat. I'm making up for lost time.
9) I take her absinthe virginity.
10) The Strand. I read her random Chinese poetry in the stacks. And read the beautiful first two pages of Bel Canto (uber-sensual btw) while perched on a ladder looking down. Some dude passing by gives me the thumbs-up.
11) Punk rock bar called Drop-off Service on the Lower East Side that used to be a laundromat. We drink German beer and cider. I didn't know they were fancy. Bartender looked at me funny when I said Sam Adams :p
12) Zagat rated restaurant/bar called Bar A or some such. We fuck in the restroom. Then we eat some fucking great food. Then we leave without paying. Totally raped that restaurant. Then I bought her a couple daisies.
13) On the train ride home, we sit opposite each other. I have never seen more desire in anybody's eyes than I did in her. The old man sitting beside her was all omg. And the three girls sitting beside me were so confused by the intensity of the way she was looking at me. I will take that memory of her wanting me to my grave. It was quite literally electric between us and the sex afterwards was cathartic as all hell.
14) Wake up at two and fool around till five at which point I get hungry. Its raining out so we can't go to Tops Diner but also, cant find a single place that delivers at that hour.
15) I am officially Captain Ole Cheese Bastard. At this point, I can turn pretty much anything into a compliment or innuendo and afterwards, hum even Nickelback.
16) Peruvian restaurant. Lady there thinks we're uber-cute.
17) Little cute girl at the grocery store walks up and says "Hello friend"
18) Walk in the park on a sunny day. So at peace. Lying down on her lap on a park bench. Uber-idyllic.
19) Do her three ways from Sunday and discover a position I've never tried before. In it, we're so animalistic that my damn computer bounces right off the bed. Pain of Salvation's Remedy Lane is sex music.
20) I am pretty much the only person who can treat Bill Withers-itis-itis. True fact.