The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XXIV ( "Oh The Places You’ll D’oh" - TEXT )
Click to viewThas Halloween night, with the kids door-to-dooring,
and all over town the blood sugar was soaring.
< Give me your candy >
But the Simpson abode was deep down in the dumps,
cause from little to bigger, the kids had the mumps.
Now, I'm off to a party, my outfit is chic.
It's a Catwoman costume, I'm sure is unique.
< Wait a second-- it's Halloween? >
Just rest on the sofa, I'll be home by 10:00.
Can we have some candy? Just one M&M.
Then we heard a loud crash. < D'oh! >
We were tempted to scat.
And we looked and we saw him
The Fat in the Hat!
I'll save Halloween for you three grumpy tots.
Just stick out your rumps for some mump-stumping shots!
Now hop on my cycle, there's nothing to fear.
And we shall have candy and maybe some beer.
< Huh? >
You should not be here when their mother's away!
And you should be dead, you're so wrinkled and gray!
I'll give you the business, you yellow sea cow!
This go-getting oldster will... Where am I now?
We'll fix up this mix-up in two minutes flat,
with the helpers I've hidden right under my hat.
I uh, I knew there was something I left off my list.
Without food, air and water, they cease to exist.
I am the Borax.
I speak for the woods.
But I've plastered my likeness on consumer goods.
Sellout!
< Hey! >
-------------------- SONG -------------------------
Oh, the Fat in the Hat doesn't care what moms say
The minute they leave you, he'll take you away
His breakfast is dinner
His dinner's dessert
You might see his name on an umbel
Alert!
-------------------- -------------------- --------------------
Trick or treat!
Who buzzed the buzzard? Don't pester the rich.
I don't hand out candy, you son of a Gritch
--------(полагаю, сокращение от Grumpy + Bitch)-------------
He pulled out bamfoozlers and side-winding gizzles.
He laughed as he heard that old codger's house-sizzles.
Let this be a lesson to those who love cash,
that your nice stash of cash could be gone in a flash.
And if you are awful and nasty and cruel...
Enough with the lessons! This isn't a school!
-------------------- SONG -------------------------
Once a year we are not hungry
Thanks to Christian charity.
-------------------- -------------------- --------------------
I don't got no candy, I only serve beer.
And who said that you could bring minors in here?
Your peanuts are pawed through, your beer smells like skunk.
And you just pissed off the wrong fat, furry drunk!
< Hey, hey, hey! This is supposed to be a children's story! >
Go grab all his money and vodka and gin.
And I'll knit a nice thnord from his leathery skin.
Say, Mr. Hat, I don't mean to complain,
but you promised us candy, not mayhem and pain.
- The dude thought a while, - I know a man!
With an overpriced store, who'll give all that he can.
Take whatever you want. I don't want any trouble.
Take Jims that are Slim, and gum of the bubble.
I won't shoot you now, cause I've found something cruel-ah,
an afternoon off with eight kids and Manjula.
< No! >
-------------------- SONG -------------------------
Oh, the Fat in the Hat
Has some anger issues
And some highly unusual political views
If he comes a-calling, you'd better hide
Cause he's committing aggravated floop-fluffle-cide!
< Don't forget me! >
Floop-fluffle-cide!
-------------------- -------------------- --------------------
We had to escape from this behatted mammal.
So we hitched us a ride on a three-hump gumbamel!
A gumbamel's a camel but faster and humbler.
It doesn't take tips and it's never a grumbler.
So if you must leave in a kind of a scramble,
then jump on the hump of a humble gumbamel.
But if the gumbamel should ramble, then stumble,
then just hop atop a Krustiferous Krumbull.
But then if that Krumbull should happen to tumble,
just call your amigo, the bee man of bumble.
< Ay-yi-yi! >
We thought we'd escaped from our psychotic guide
but when we got home, he was waiting inside!
I'm staying forever. You're all stuck with that.
Cause I'm your new daddy, the Fat in the....
< Ouuuuu >
I'm frightened of nothing, not even hellfires.
Just don't let me ever be played by Mike Myers.
Now please do not worry, 'cause we did okay.
Yes, kids will get candy, whatever you say.