(no subject)
I believe that in each and every one of our lives, there is a pivotal moment that changes our psyche forever. The way we think is shaped into something entirely different from what it once was; we are enlightened. A few summers after my experience with Cameron, I indulged in a physical and mental examination and incredible introspective analysis- I became a hippie. It sounds ridiculous, but in my journey, which was not, by any means, one that was overdone, abused, or taken for granted, I became more in touch with myself and every other person than ever before. The negativity in my soul seemed to evaporate. I found myself without the desire to criticize, without the physical ability to roll my eyes, or become anything more relaxed, in sobriety or not. I couldn’t describe anything abnormal or unfortunate with anything more pessimistic than the word “weird.”
I was sculpted, for the better, forever. My body had become a dish, receiving the signals from the satellites that embody life, love and the human being. No sun had set, but a dawning had occurred. Ironically, Incubus’ “Aqueous Transmission” was there with me every night that summer. It drifted me to sleep when the sky would grow dark and crickets grew restless. The song illustrates a being that is taken back at life while on a journey. He “felt his heart overflow,” he drifted down a river of emotion while contemplating his state of being. He is discovering a new life form; he is being enlightened- just as I was that summer a few years ago.
Life is confusing. Its corners create an inevitable maze or perplexity. It never gets easier, and it never ends until death. Life is filled with joys and exuberant moments but succeeding is the cliff-dangling lows and irreconcilable devastations. Amidst the omnipotent tyrant that is today’s society we can become entangled, and get lost inside a collective conscience that isn’t our own. After my enlightenment, I was overwhelmed by this very being over time. Perhaps it was the loss of my homeland, something I’d taken for granted in the past. In the United States, I figured once I returned home to Canada, I’d lost my own perspective, and I’d become entranced by the way things were ‘supposed’ to be done. Things were different and I’d had a hard time coping once I moved, so I conformed. Whilst returning to my home for the summer, I was overtaken by myself. My self conscience was restored through an insurmountable wave created by the reinstatement of my mind’s dexterity. The self inflicted complexities of life had disappeared and been replaced by the simplicities of freedom of thought. Boundaries were repressed and the teeming weight of superficial limitations was uplifted off my back. Emotions were so vivid- it seemed like ages since I’d last felt them without repression. Stabilo Boss, the composers and performers of the piece “Everybody” use remarkable, ingenious ease in both their lyrics and musical prose to confront those who have become tools of their own self infliction of restriction. Perhaps this revelation happens all too often in people’s lives. So much so that the importance of the message is lost a little more each time until it’s completely ignored and dubbed insignificant. Maybe that’s why its’ first occurrence in my remains the most pivotal; the most memorable.
Love embodies the human spirit in its’ rarest, purest form. In its’ subtle sensuality, it overrides all other emotions, and replaces them with a warm glow. The touch of a close one carries with it much more than the arousal of a sense; along its’ back rides enough life to fill an infinite chasm. No one person can be truly complete without a significant other. Love is an amplifier; it bolds our thoughts, which shadow our doubts. It accentuates our senses; they grow agape, accepting the surrounding nonexistent, and seemingly impossible. It enables the long-dead conscience to imagine again. It brings hope to a desolate no-man’s land. Love is that intangible fairy on our shoulder, its' the solid ground we can depend on being there when we’re too dizzy to know which way the precipice lies. There’s just something about it that makes is superhuman; an emotion so powerful it can annihilate despicability; it can bring opposites to attract- and remain. It is a common language; it shatters any barriers built between races, religion and sex. It is peace.
They say you never know what you have until it’s gone; when it’s too late to get it back; when it matters most. Nothing is a truer statement when it comes to love. Once lost, the invisible existent can leave craters larger than any meteor or atom bomb. The soul is more easily damaged when the attack originates within the borders a great wall of defense is meant to protect. And with the loss: a fire; so intense it can burn maps meant to guide, memories meant for eternity, and words that aren’t even written yet. Post to irreparable damage, comes the loss of one’s self in the untimely expanse of former thoughts, now blackened ashes. The toll is so vast, as is the time required for recovery. Desired by all, but regretted by many, love is a precious commodity. It can shine brighter than any star on the darkest of nights. Its’ fire can burn so hot it turns out water. For such an immense force, it’s ironic that its’ infinite meaning be embodied in a four letter word.
Just as my first love entailed all the above, The Perisher’s “Sway” encompasses the stretch of sensation experienced after it lost me.
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