Leave Me Breathless (Chapter 1)
Title: Leave Me Breathless
Author: anxioussquirrel
Genre: romance; a dash of angst, a splash of fluff, sexy times here and there
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee or its characters. I just play with them.
Word Count: ~1700 this chapter/~30 000? total
Summary: Part 3 of my Breathe trilogy; this story chronicles Kurt and Blaine’s slow, careful road to intimacy.
A/N: This is a threequel, so obviously I’d recommend reading With You, I Can Breathe and Learning To Breathe Again first. In short - between Blaine being a sexual assault survivor and Kurt’s baby penguin tendencies, physical aspects of being together are far from easy. The process of getting there, conquering each small step, growing together takes months and years - and that’s what this story is about. It’s about closeness and intimacy and yes, sex, but mostly about feelings - with a bit of angst, some shameless fluff and many loving, sexy scenes.
For the first time ever I’m getting a little wild and posting a story that isn’t finished yet. Half of it is done and I’m working on the rest in every free moment, so it should be ready in about 2 more weeks, at the latest. Meanwhile, I’ll be posting three times a week, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
This story is dedicated to my girls - stut_ter and judearaya - as a thank you for being great friends, cheerleading, beta-ing, motivating, poking when needed and everything else :) And thank you for all of you that read the previous parts of this ‘verse and motivated me to write this one.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. NEW YORK? NEW YORK!
“Son, come in for a moment.”
Blaine froze by the door to his father’s office. Usually being summoned there meant trouble. It was Carl Anderson’s throne room, from which he ruled, commanded and punished. But with the recent changes in his parents’ attitude, and especially since the barbecue with the Hummels a week ago, Blaine had learned that there was in fact more than one facet to his father’s personality. So he felt more curious than reluctant now, as he entered the sparsely decorated room.
“Sit. I want to talk to you about New York.”
“Okay. What about New York?” Blaine smiled as he settled into a leather chair in front of the huge mahogany desk. The trip would start in six days and he could barely contain his excitement. A week in New York with Kurt. It was going to be amazing!
“We had some last minute participants sign up for the conference. Which means…”
Blaine’s face crumpled.
“We’re not going, are we?” He knew it had been too good to be true. How silly of him to hope and plan.
His father frowned.
“What are you talking about? Of course you are going. I promised you this trip and I’m not one to go back on a promise, am I? Actually, I turned down several people to save you those last two places.” Blaine sighed with relief. “No, it just means that we’ll have to place you two in one room and I want to know if it’s a good idea. It’s a double, of course, but still. Maybe we should give the room to Kurt and have you sleep in ours? It would require some adjustments in accommodation plans, but it’s doable.”
Blaine shook his head, not comprehending.
“Why? I mean, why would it be a bad idea?”
He wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen his father flustered before.
“Well, you know, you two are… together, right?”
“Yes?”
“And I guess… it can’t be so different from what I recall of being in love as a teenager. Which includes… um… hormones and such…”
Blaine blushed to the tips of his ears, which for him, unlike Kurt, was a feat. Was his father really trying to talk to him about sex? A week ago, he would have said, with utter conviction, that such a thing would never, ever happen.
“So… You’re asking if you can trust us to be alone together in a hotel room?”
“Something like that, I guess. I mean, you’re young, you um… like each other, and having a chance to spend so much time alone, to sleep in the same room… I just… don’t want you to make haste decisions based on circumstances alone. You’ve been through a lot recently and I don’t want you to get worse or something.” Mr. Anderson shook his head and reached for a bottle of cognac that he kept on a side table. “Oh god, this is awkward.”
Blaine chuckled softly. It was good to know he was not the only one feeling uncomfortable here.
“Dad. You have nothing to worry about. We sleep together all the time when I’m at Kurt’s.”
“What?”
Okay, so it may only have sounded like a good argument in his head, judging by his dad’s shocked expression.
“No, I mean, not like that! We just… share the bed? Okay, that doesn’t sound good either.”
“And Kurt’s parents are fine with this?”
Uh-oh. Blaine knew that if he didn’t fix this fast, he may never get to stay over at Kurt’s again.
“Okay, it’s like this. That first week after… after the rape Kurt slept close to me, because it was the only way I could sleep through the night. He sang to me and helped me when I had nightmares. Then, when I went there for a weekend, we were already together. So Mr. Hummel sat us down and gave us a talk. He said that he trusted us to be good for each other and respect our boundaries and not hurry anywhere. And that’s just how we’ve been. I can’t believe I’m telling this to you, but okay, if it convinces you not to worry… Just… neither of us is anywhere near ready for anything much and I don’t think this is going to change anytime soon. So…”
His father drank the cognac in one go.
“Okay, I really don’t want to know the details of my son’s sex life, thank you. I think Burt already told you more or less what I meant. So if you’re sure you’ll be alright with one room, it’s fine by me. Just one more thing. I have to ask you two to be discreet about your relationship when you’re around the hotel or conference center.”
Blaine tried to hide the hurt in his eyes even as he said “Okay.”
“Now, Blaine, don’t give me that look. I’d tell you the same if you were there with a girlfriend. It’s our work environment, these people know us professionally and I’d rather not give them reasons to pay much attention to you and gossip. I prefer our private and professional lives to stay separate.”
“Oh. Okay, I get it.”
“Good. Now, go. I have to finish with the budget.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
Blaine felt dazed as he went back to his room. Did he really just have a sex talk with his father?
New York, New York. Glorious, breathtaking in its multicolored, rushing beauty, open and tempting. And free. So many things to see and experience, so many views and sensations to take in, so many places to hold hands and steal kisses without caring about all the people around. For the first three days they barely had time to breathe, busy just experiencing it all, leaving the hotel at the crack of dawn and returning late in the evening, exhausted, only to drop on the bed and fall asleep immediately. On the fourth day, first hungers sated, they finally took their time to walk slowly amidst the never ending rush, hand in hand, imagining their futures here.
Kurt had known for a long time that this was where he wanted to study. For Blaine, New York had always been high on the list as well, and since they’d become a couple, it had swiftly moved to the top. Now, walking through the city they hoped to call home one day, they could dream aloud together. They discussed colleges and living arrangements, glanced at each other with shy smiles while daring to still use we as they shared dreams about the after that each of them hoped for, but had never talked about before. It was inspiring and exhilarating to look at the streets and buildings and people, and know that with luck and hard work, they could be back here a year from now, back for good, to make their lives in this city, together.
That evening they went to sleep early, to rest before touring colleges - they had planned to spend the day getting all of their tours done. The next morning was warm and sunny, and they woke up giddy with expectations and possibilities. Would one of the places they were going to see today be where they’d get to spend the next four years of their lives? Would they be able to visit all the schools on their list in one day? Blaine was only interested in NYU, while Kurt wanted to see Juliard and NYADA in addition.
Blaine was getting ready in the bathroom when Kurt’s voice reached him through the open door.
“Blaine?”
“Yeah?” He finished applying aftershave and reached for his t-shirt.
“Do you think we could…”
A gasp followed, much closer this time, just as Blaine was pulling the shirt over his head. When his eyes were no longer covered by the dark fabric, he saw Kurt standing in the doorway with his lips parted and his eyes wide, staring at his uncovered chest as if hypnotized. Kurt’s pupils were blown almost black and there was blush creeping up his neck as he looked. Blaine’s breath hitched as the shirt fell into place, covering him; Kurt was evidently enjoying the view.
Images flew through Blaine’s mind, unexpected: Kurt’s hand smoothing over his back, up his stomach, fingers playing with the light dusting of hair on his chest. Kurt kissing his way from Blaine’s neck, through a collarbone, down to suck at a nipple. Kurt shirtless. Touching and kissing Kurt’s body, worshipping the expanses of skin he was always hiding under his layered clothing. The strength of desire Blaine felt just thinking about it stunned him.
But Kurt had already snapped out of his fascinated staring and was by Blaine’s side in an instant, reaching to tangle his fingers in still damp curls and pull him into a kiss. It was nothing like the sweet, slow kisses with which they usually started; this was all heat and tongue and palpable need, and Blaine responded in kind, pulling him closer until their bodies melted together. Kurt’s free hand snuck under the hem of Blaine’s t-shirt and up his side, somehow shy and daring at the same time, and he felt himself shiver at the sensation.
They’d done this a couple of times while making out, fingers carefully mapping the borders of new, unknown territory, but never like this. This was all intent and request for permission, this was opening the door instead of peeking through a crack. And Blaine felt so ready to go there now. He just slid his hand up Kurt’s back under his button-up and was reveling in all the warm satiny skin and sudden acceleration of Kurt’s breathing when the phone in his back pocket rang. He groaned and broke the kiss to take it out, Kurt’s hand never leaving his side.
The display said Dad. Not answering wasn’t an option. He raised the phone to his ear, his face apologetic.
“Hello?”
“Good morning, Blaine. We were wondering if you two wanted to join us for breakfast before you go to tour the colleges. Say, in ten minutes, downstairs?”
“Of course. We’ll be there.”
There was no more time to spare. Blaine kissed Kurt one last time and looked at him regretfully.
“We need to get ready. We’re eating breakfast with my parents.”
Kurt nodded, his eyes still sparkling.
“We’ll be back here tonight, right?”
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Next chapter: Skin
End notes: Chapter 2 will be up on Monday. Meanwhile, I’ll be doing Drabble Sunday again, so if you feel like it, you can drop me a prompt in the comment - nothing specific, only one word or phrase, plus a genre if you have preferences - and I’ll choose 2 or 3 and post the drabbles on Sunday (without posting about it to the k_b comm, because come on, it’s just practice).
Author: anxioussquirrel
Genre: romance; a dash of angst, a splash of fluff, sexy times here and there
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee or its characters. I just play with them.
Word Count: ~1700 this chapter/~30 000? total
Summary: Part 3 of my Breathe trilogy; this story chronicles Kurt and Blaine’s slow, careful road to intimacy.
A/N: This is a threequel, so obviously I’d recommend reading With You, I Can Breathe and Learning To Breathe Again first. In short - between Blaine being a sexual assault survivor and Kurt’s baby penguin tendencies, physical aspects of being together are far from easy. The process of getting there, conquering each small step, growing together takes months and years - and that’s what this story is about. It’s about closeness and intimacy and yes, sex, but mostly about feelings - with a bit of angst, some shameless fluff and many loving, sexy scenes.
For the first time ever I’m getting a little wild and posting a story that isn’t finished yet. Half of it is done and I’m working on the rest in every free moment, so it should be ready in about 2 more weeks, at the latest. Meanwhile, I’ll be posting three times a week, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
This story is dedicated to my girls - stut_ter and judearaya - as a thank you for being great friends, cheerleading, beta-ing, motivating, poking when needed and everything else :) And thank you for all of you that read the previous parts of this ‘verse and motivated me to write this one.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. NEW YORK? NEW YORK!
“Son, come in for a moment.”
Blaine froze by the door to his father’s office. Usually being summoned there meant trouble. It was Carl Anderson’s throne room, from which he ruled, commanded and punished. But with the recent changes in his parents’ attitude, and especially since the barbecue with the Hummels a week ago, Blaine had learned that there was in fact more than one facet to his father’s personality. So he felt more curious than reluctant now, as he entered the sparsely decorated room.
“Sit. I want to talk to you about New York.”
“Okay. What about New York?” Blaine smiled as he settled into a leather chair in front of the huge mahogany desk. The trip would start in six days and he could barely contain his excitement. A week in New York with Kurt. It was going to be amazing!
“We had some last minute participants sign up for the conference. Which means…”
Blaine’s face crumpled.
“We’re not going, are we?” He knew it had been too good to be true. How silly of him to hope and plan.
His father frowned.
“What are you talking about? Of course you are going. I promised you this trip and I’m not one to go back on a promise, am I? Actually, I turned down several people to save you those last two places.” Blaine sighed with relief. “No, it just means that we’ll have to place you two in one room and I want to know if it’s a good idea. It’s a double, of course, but still. Maybe we should give the room to Kurt and have you sleep in ours? It would require some adjustments in accommodation plans, but it’s doable.”
Blaine shook his head, not comprehending.
“Why? I mean, why would it be a bad idea?”
He wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen his father flustered before.
“Well, you know, you two are… together, right?”
“Yes?”
“And I guess… it can’t be so different from what I recall of being in love as a teenager. Which includes… um… hormones and such…”
Blaine blushed to the tips of his ears, which for him, unlike Kurt, was a feat. Was his father really trying to talk to him about sex? A week ago, he would have said, with utter conviction, that such a thing would never, ever happen.
“So… You’re asking if you can trust us to be alone together in a hotel room?”
“Something like that, I guess. I mean, you’re young, you um… like each other, and having a chance to spend so much time alone, to sleep in the same room… I just… don’t want you to make haste decisions based on circumstances alone. You’ve been through a lot recently and I don’t want you to get worse or something.” Mr. Anderson shook his head and reached for a bottle of cognac that he kept on a side table. “Oh god, this is awkward.”
Blaine chuckled softly. It was good to know he was not the only one feeling uncomfortable here.
“Dad. You have nothing to worry about. We sleep together all the time when I’m at Kurt’s.”
“What?”
Okay, so it may only have sounded like a good argument in his head, judging by his dad’s shocked expression.
“No, I mean, not like that! We just… share the bed? Okay, that doesn’t sound good either.”
“And Kurt’s parents are fine with this?”
Uh-oh. Blaine knew that if he didn’t fix this fast, he may never get to stay over at Kurt’s again.
“Okay, it’s like this. That first week after… after the rape Kurt slept close to me, because it was the only way I could sleep through the night. He sang to me and helped me when I had nightmares. Then, when I went there for a weekend, we were already together. So Mr. Hummel sat us down and gave us a talk. He said that he trusted us to be good for each other and respect our boundaries and not hurry anywhere. And that’s just how we’ve been. I can’t believe I’m telling this to you, but okay, if it convinces you not to worry… Just… neither of us is anywhere near ready for anything much and I don’t think this is going to change anytime soon. So…”
His father drank the cognac in one go.
“Okay, I really don’t want to know the details of my son’s sex life, thank you. I think Burt already told you more or less what I meant. So if you’re sure you’ll be alright with one room, it’s fine by me. Just one more thing. I have to ask you two to be discreet about your relationship when you’re around the hotel or conference center.”
Blaine tried to hide the hurt in his eyes even as he said “Okay.”
“Now, Blaine, don’t give me that look. I’d tell you the same if you were there with a girlfriend. It’s our work environment, these people know us professionally and I’d rather not give them reasons to pay much attention to you and gossip. I prefer our private and professional lives to stay separate.”
“Oh. Okay, I get it.”
“Good. Now, go. I have to finish with the budget.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
Blaine felt dazed as he went back to his room. Did he really just have a sex talk with his father?
New York, New York. Glorious, breathtaking in its multicolored, rushing beauty, open and tempting. And free. So many things to see and experience, so many views and sensations to take in, so many places to hold hands and steal kisses without caring about all the people around. For the first three days they barely had time to breathe, busy just experiencing it all, leaving the hotel at the crack of dawn and returning late in the evening, exhausted, only to drop on the bed and fall asleep immediately. On the fourth day, first hungers sated, they finally took their time to walk slowly amidst the never ending rush, hand in hand, imagining their futures here.
Kurt had known for a long time that this was where he wanted to study. For Blaine, New York had always been high on the list as well, and since they’d become a couple, it had swiftly moved to the top. Now, walking through the city they hoped to call home one day, they could dream aloud together. They discussed colleges and living arrangements, glanced at each other with shy smiles while daring to still use we as they shared dreams about the after that each of them hoped for, but had never talked about before. It was inspiring and exhilarating to look at the streets and buildings and people, and know that with luck and hard work, they could be back here a year from now, back for good, to make their lives in this city, together.
That evening they went to sleep early, to rest before touring colleges - they had planned to spend the day getting all of their tours done. The next morning was warm and sunny, and they woke up giddy with expectations and possibilities. Would one of the places they were going to see today be where they’d get to spend the next four years of their lives? Would they be able to visit all the schools on their list in one day? Blaine was only interested in NYU, while Kurt wanted to see Juliard and NYADA in addition.
Blaine was getting ready in the bathroom when Kurt’s voice reached him through the open door.
“Blaine?”
“Yeah?” He finished applying aftershave and reached for his t-shirt.
“Do you think we could…”
A gasp followed, much closer this time, just as Blaine was pulling the shirt over his head. When his eyes were no longer covered by the dark fabric, he saw Kurt standing in the doorway with his lips parted and his eyes wide, staring at his uncovered chest as if hypnotized. Kurt’s pupils were blown almost black and there was blush creeping up his neck as he looked. Blaine’s breath hitched as the shirt fell into place, covering him; Kurt was evidently enjoying the view.
Images flew through Blaine’s mind, unexpected: Kurt’s hand smoothing over his back, up his stomach, fingers playing with the light dusting of hair on his chest. Kurt kissing his way from Blaine’s neck, through a collarbone, down to suck at a nipple. Kurt shirtless. Touching and kissing Kurt’s body, worshipping the expanses of skin he was always hiding under his layered clothing. The strength of desire Blaine felt just thinking about it stunned him.
But Kurt had already snapped out of his fascinated staring and was by Blaine’s side in an instant, reaching to tangle his fingers in still damp curls and pull him into a kiss. It was nothing like the sweet, slow kisses with which they usually started; this was all heat and tongue and palpable need, and Blaine responded in kind, pulling him closer until their bodies melted together. Kurt’s free hand snuck under the hem of Blaine’s t-shirt and up his side, somehow shy and daring at the same time, and he felt himself shiver at the sensation.
They’d done this a couple of times while making out, fingers carefully mapping the borders of new, unknown territory, but never like this. This was all intent and request for permission, this was opening the door instead of peeking through a crack. And Blaine felt so ready to go there now. He just slid his hand up Kurt’s back under his button-up and was reveling in all the warm satiny skin and sudden acceleration of Kurt’s breathing when the phone in his back pocket rang. He groaned and broke the kiss to take it out, Kurt’s hand never leaving his side.
The display said Dad. Not answering wasn’t an option. He raised the phone to his ear, his face apologetic.
“Hello?”
“Good morning, Blaine. We were wondering if you two wanted to join us for breakfast before you go to tour the colleges. Say, in ten minutes, downstairs?”
“Of course. We’ll be there.”
There was no more time to spare. Blaine kissed Kurt one last time and looked at him regretfully.
“We need to get ready. We’re eating breakfast with my parents.”
Kurt nodded, his eyes still sparkling.
“We’ll be back here tonight, right?”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next chapter: Skin
End notes: Chapter 2 will be up on Monday. Meanwhile, I’ll be doing Drabble Sunday again, so if you feel like it, you can drop me a prompt in the comment - nothing specific, only one word or phrase, plus a genre if you have preferences - and I’ll choose 2 or 3 and post the drabbles on Sunday (without posting about it to the k_b comm, because come on, it’s just practice).