Leave Me Breathless (Chapter 4)
4. READY
The drive back home passed in silence. Everyone was busy switching to normal life mode, imagining comfortable beds, proper showers, air conditioning and homemade, fresh food. Kurt had actually moaned shamelessly when Carole reminded him that morning that starting tomorrow, he would be able to have all the fruits and vegetables he dreamed of. He was sitting in the back of the car now, leaning against his boyfriend’s shoulder with his eyes closed and his hand in Blaine’s, thinking of what he missed even more than all the fruits and veggies in the world.
It was hard to believe how different he felt than the shy, awkward “baby penguin” he’d been just months ago. Sure, he wasn’t ready for everything yet, intimately, but it would be weird and possibly unhealthy if he was, all of a sudden, wouldn’t it? And the real difference was in Kurt’s head. Before Blaine, he’d frozen and blushed just thinking about sex. So he hadn’t thought about it, not if he could help it - romance was a much more pleasant source of fantasies after all. Of course, being a teenage boy, he masturbated sometimes - though rarely and it was awkward every time - but that was it. Porn had always repulsed him instead of arousing; animalistic, carnal, without a grain of romance.
But now… Now being with Blaine had made him understand that it wasn’t an either/or thing. It wasn’t like he could have either romance or sex. He felt like theirs was a perfect love story, everything slow and romantic, yet when Blaine’s lips touched his, Kurt’s blood sang and his skin tingled. It was with Blaine that he discovered what being really turned on felt like, learned that - and what - he wanted; it was Blaine who showed Kurt that he could be loved and desired, and that at least in his boyfriend’s eyes, he was beautiful. They learned from each other every day; how to act, how to speak about feelings and about sex.
And Kurt felt like there was another of these talks coming. He smirked to himself at the double meaning and marveled once again at how much he’d changed; he didn’t even blush thinking about it now. Thinking about coming. About orgasms. Getting each other off. No, there was still a hint of blush here. Oh well, all in due time.
But speaking of due time, this was just it: Kurt was ready. He was so, so ready. He’d felt like this ever since their little rendezvous on the meadow four days ago, as if he was bitten by some kind of lust bug there. These last days, and oh god nights, it was all he could think about - Blaine’s hand on him, touching him, stroking. Or maybe not on him, not yet, maybe over his pants for starters, but there. And his own hand on Blaine, right where he’d been pressed hard against Kurt’s hip when they’d woken up this morning. When Blaine soundlessly drew little circles with his tongue on the side of his neck, Kurt could barely contain himself, clenching his hands into fists, biting his lip hard, so as not to just grab his boyfriend’s hand and pull it, press it against his cock, hard and oh so wanting. But that damn tent and his damn stepbrother… And now, now they could finally kiss again, touch again, just as soon as they shut Kurt’s bedroom door behind them this evening. Blaine was sleeping over tonight.
For a wild moment Kurt considered telling Blaine what he wanted, talking about being ready, tonight. And if Blaine wanted it too, doing it right then. Just thinking about it was turning Kurt into a hot mess. But he forced his body to calm down - a practice he was getting quite good at - and thought about it rationally. Well, as rationally as he could think about actually coming apart under Blaine’s fingers. And rationally, he knew it would be better to wait, to talk about it when they weren’t so desperate for each other.
So maybe not tonight, but soon. Blaine would go home tomorrow morning, to spend the weekend with his parents, and when he came back next week… They would have the house to themselves again for hours - more than enough time to talk and… and more. Content with his plan, Kurt burrowed closer into Blaine’s shoulder and opened his eyes, meeting the amber gaze. His beautiful (sexy, oh so sexy, damn him) boyfriend smiled softly.
“What were you thinking about?”
Kurt glanced at Finn to check that he was still asleep before he whispered.
“Just you. Sleeping over.”
It worked just as he intended. Blaine’s eyes turned wide and dark immediately and Kurt smiled mischievously.
***
The night was wild, their impatient fingers and hungry lips finally allowed contact, and Blaine’s mind was reeling by the time they decided to actually get some sleep after all. He couldn’t even tell the number of times they had separated, withdrawing rapidly to sit on opposite ends of the bed and think neutral thoughts until their blood was no longer at boiling point and their heartbeats calmed down. Again, and again. Blaine didn’t know how many times, but he was pretty sure he would have either come or died if they kept on doing it any longer. Even now, lying in Kurt’s embrace, face to face, hips carefully apart, he was aching, needing so much that a part of him wanted to scream and beg for release.
He still hadn’t touched himself, even after that accident in New York. There was a part of him that shuddered at the thought. He wasn’t exactly sure why it was; in therapy, he’d worked through his blaming himself for the attack, he’d gotten to the point of believing again that sex wasn’t something bad, twisted or hurtful. He was okay with Kurt, thinking of Kurt, wanting him. But whenever he thought of taking matters into his own hand, so to speak, something stopped him; his cock lost interest within seconds. It was unbelievably frustrating. And as a healthy teenage boy who’d been living in an almost constant state of arousal for weeks, well, sometimes he felt like he was going crazy.
Tonight they’d gotten closer than ever to losing all control and Blaine caught himself kind of regretting that they hadn’t. He’d be fine with it now, he thought. He’d be happy if Kurt just touched him. But they hadn’t talked about it yet and he wasn’t about to start in the middle of making out, when they were both far from reasonable. This wasn’t a decision he wanted them to make in the heat of the moment. He’d wait and they would talk soon. And if Kurt wanted it too, they’d… No, no thinking about it now. But soon. So soon.
Except life had other ideas.
Blaine’s mom came to pick him up early in the morning. She hugged him and greeted everyone cheerfully, but excused herself from staying for coffee.
“Thank you, Carole, another day, now we have to hurry back to do a quick laundry and pack.”
Blaine’s eyebrows raised.
“Don’t you mean unpack?”
She laughed, mischief in her eyes.
“No baby. I have a surprise for you. You. And I. Are going… To Italy! Tonight. For three whole weeks. Oh, it will be fabulous! We’ll rent a car and see it all: Rome, Venice, Verona, Tuscany, whatever we want… We’ll get to spend some quality time together at last, sightseeing, lazing on a beach, eating delicious Italian food…”
Blaine could feel that his face showed perfectly well just how stunned he was. He also felt how tight Kurt’s grip on his hand had suddenly become when three weeks hung in the air like a prison sentence. Three whole weeks. They hadn’t been apart for so long since… well, ever, actually, since they’d met. It seemed like eternity.
Aware of his mom’s expectant expression, Blaine managed to find his voice.
“Oh wow, mom, that’s amazing! And… unexpected. I think I’m in a bit of a shock. Why didn’t you tell me sooner so I could have prepared, planned something?” Like maybe last night, with more talking and then definitely more touching, and much less sleeping…
Sure, he was elated that he would get to spend time with his mom, and he’d always wanted to see Italy, but right now it was all shadowed by the realization that he wouldn’t get to touch, kiss, even see Kurt for so long.
“Oh well, I wanted it to be a surprise. And I hadn’t been 100% sure I’d manage to take time off in all this craziness at the company. But we’re done with the worst of it and I can go. Okay, I’ll take your bag to the car, say your goodbyes and join me. Carole, Burt, thank you all so much for taking Blaine along. Kurt, you too. See you all later, bye!”
As soon as his mom closed the front door behind her, Carole smiled knowingly and came up to hug Blaine, Burt close behind.
“Take care, honey. It was good to have you come with us. We’ll um… let you two say goodbye in private.” She smiled knowingly.
Blaine shot them a grateful look.
“Thank you. For everything. It was wonderful.”
They nodded and disappeared in the kitchen, closing the door behind them, and Kurt was on him within a heartbeat.
“Oh my god, Blaine, how am I supposed to survive three weeks without you? I just… I can’t… And after this trip, and Finn, and I just want… Um…” But Blaine never learned what it was that Kurt wanted, because then he had a sniffling, tearful boyfriend in his arms and could barely keep his own feelings in check.
“I know, I can’t even imagine… But I swear I’ll text you and send emails and pictures, and I’m sure we can Skype.”
“But it’s not the same as talking in person and seeing you, and holding your hand… And three weeks, Blaine,” came a sad, whining voice from his shoulder.
“I know, oh god, I’m gonna die.”
Kurt raised his wet face.
“Don’t you dare. I want you back here as soon as you return.”
A car horn sounded from outside and Blaine winced. It was time to go. He tightened his embrace even more for a moment, before he let go.
“I’ll write to you. As soon as I’m there, I’ll let you know how and when we can contact and all. We’ll survive this, do you hear me?”
“I know. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
One wet, salty kiss, and he was gone. Twenty-four hours later he was landing in Rome.
But part of his heart stayed in Lima, Ohio.
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The next chapter: Away
End notes: So, anyone has a one word/one phrase prompt for me for Drabble Sunday this week?:)