Leave Me Breathless (Chapter 11)
A/N: I hope you brought snacks. This chapter is officially the longest one I’ve ever published: 4800 words. Have fun reading and let me know what you think. I want to know! (stut_ter, who as a member of the Unholy Triad is privileged to read this earlier, predicted deaths by diabetic shock. I sure hope she exaggerated.)
Oh, and the song is Simple Plan’s This Song Saved My Life, and it’s perfect. Read the lyrics at least if you can’t listen while reading;)
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11. SPECIAL
Burt was surprised when Blaine came into the garage one early May afternoon, looking a bit nervous and uneasy. When the boy asked if they could talk in private, his surprise immediately turned into anxiety. Was something wrong with either of them? Did something bad happen again?
As soon as they were alone in the small office space, behind the closed door, Burt turned to Blaine.
“What happened?”
Blaine raised his eyebrows.
“What, why? Nothing happened. Why would you think that?”
Burt sighed in relief and sat in his old, rickety desk chair.
“Well, you don’t usually come here alone, and you look like something’s bothering you.”
Blaine blushed - really blushed - and looked at the floor, shuffling his feet.
“Um, that’s because I’m not sure if what I’m about to do right now is a smart move. I just hope you won’t kick me out of here and ban me from your house for good.”
“Let’s hear it then. Come on, sit down and tell me what it is that you did.”
Blaine sat on the wooden stool opposite him; Burt could see him gathering courage. He was really curious what this was about now. When the boy started talking, his voice was quiet but mostly steady; he looked Burt in the eyes, nervous but certain.
“Nothing. Yet. But… do you remember that talk you had with Kurt and I over a year ago? When we’d just become a couple?”
Oh. That talk. So this was about sex. Right. Burt braced himself.
“I remember. What about it?”
It was clearly difficult for Blaine to keep his eyes up, but he soldiered on. Burt couldn’t help but admire him; the kid had balls.
“Well, you said that as long as we were good to each other and respectful of our boundaries, you didn’t care if we were doing anything um… sexual.”
“That I did. So?”
“Well, we kind of… want to… I mean…”
“You and Kurt want to have sex.”
It sounded strange and all wrong, said straight out like that, and Burt really did not need to know the details of his son’s sex life. But at the same time he couldn’t help feeling a little shocked - they were that far already? It had been over a year, sure, but considering the circumstances… Blaine’s voice shook him out of his thoughts.
“Um. It depends how you define sex, I think. But something sexual. Yes.”
Burt kept his face neutral, but inwardly he smiled. So they were taking things slow. He was relieved they were being smart after all.
“I’m moved that you’re telling me this, Blaine, but I don’t think you need my permission. I told you that before.”
Blaine blushed harder.
“But I need your permission for Kurt to stay at my house over the weekend when my parents aren’t there. And I kind of… wanted to ask you for help in arranging a surprise.”
Burt finally let his smile show and saw Blaine relax instantly.
“Okay. Tell me about it.”
He’d found the arrangement sweet and romantic, the kind of thing he knew Kurt would love. So sure, he would help. Let his son have all the good, beautiful moments he could - with so much evil and cruelty in this world, especially for people like these boys, there was never too much of a good thing. On Friday, during their traditional family dinner, Burt took the first step in Blaine’s plan.
“Oh, Kurt? Pack a bag for the weekend, we’re going away tonight.”
Kurt nearly choked on a forkful of peas.
“What? But Dad, I have plans with Blaine! Where are we going?”
Burt remained calm and unmoved.
“You’ll see. It’s a surprise; just some bonding time. Call Blaine and tell him you’ll meet on Monday.”
“But Daaad…”
“Nope, no whining. Be ready by 8:30.”
Kurt pouted.
“At least tell me what kind of dress code is required for this trip.”
“Just, normal. Simple and comfortable.”
“Okay.”
Kurt was clearly irked, even though he tried not to show it, and scurried away to his room as soon as the table was cleared. At 8:30 sharp he descended the stairs with his overnight bag and a face that showed quiet resignation. Burt struggled not to chuckle as he took his own bag (filled with things to be dropped at the dry-cleaner’s tomorrow morning, not that Kurt needed to know), said goodbye to Carole - who was in on the plan, of course - and opened the door to go out to the car.
“You call Blaine?”
“Yes. He was disappointed, but he said he has stuff to do this weekend, so he’d be fine.” Kurt sighed. “I wish you’d told me earlier, you know? I like to know these things, to plan ahead.”
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t be a surprise then. You’ll like it, I’m sure.”
Kurt didn’t sound convinced.
“We’ll see.” Then his tone softened. “But it’s spending time with you. I‘m sure I’ll love it.”
They were silent most of the way, Kurt’s eyes closed like Burt requested. He took a different route than the usual, shorter one - this was a surprise, after all, and Kurt would easily recognize the way he took hundreds of times without even looking.
Finally, they stopped and Burt looked at his son with a soft smile. He was so grown up already. This weekend, he would grow up a little more. It was a bit sad, the way time was taking his little boy further and further away from him. And yet he was so thankful that it would be like this, with love and respect; with joy. Because when Kurt opened his eyes, after some initial confusion, there was nothing but joy on his face.
“Dad, what-“
“Go on, kiddo, take your bag and go. Be good and have fun. Tell Blaine to get you home on Sunday evening.”
“Are you… I… Really?”
“Yeah, yeah. Go. I want to be back home for the game.”
The look that Kurt gave him would stay in Burt’s memory forever, catalogued under Amazing Dad.
“I love you!”
And with that, his son was gone. Burt chuckled softly and turned the car to go home.
***
Kurt felt like he was in a dream. His dad had just taken him to Blaine’s house and left him there for the weekend; even telling him to have fun. Kurt’s head was spinning. Did Blaine even know this? His parents were away for the weekend, that much Kurt knew, and Blaine said he’d be busy anyway… Wait, did they plan this together? No, no way.
He picked up his bag and walked down the long path through the Andersons’ front yard. No cars were in the driveway and the house was dark. Kurt felt a tug of anxiety in his gut; was Blaine even home? Maybe he’d gone somewhere, knowing that he couldn’t count on spending time with Kurt this weekend.
A flash of something light against the solid dark wood of the front door caught Kurt’s attention. It was a piece of paper - cream, thick and folded in half - tucked into the door. Carefully penned letters in deep black ink spelled KURT and suddenly his heart felt like it wanted to jump out of his chest. This was planned. Blaine had some kind of plan for a weekend together, alone. Which could mean many things, of course, but Kurt was pretty sure it only meant one. That he was about to have a night he would remember forever. With a trembling hand, Kurt took the note out and opened it.
Come in.
The door is open.
Wait for me in the living room.
With a deep breath, Kurt opened the door to step into what he was pretty sure would be a romantic dream.
He was wrong.
It was a fairytale.
There was no light in the long hallway, but it wasn’t completely dark either, and Kurt’s breath hitched when he saw why. A trail of candles, tiny tealights in clear glass holders, lined the hallway, disappearing behind a corner. It was like an invitation to follow. And that’s what he did, leaving his shoes, bag and his summer jacket by the door.
The house was quiet; it felt like nobody was there at all. Kurt wondered if Blaine wanted him to wait because he’d gone out for some reason, or if this was a part of his plan. He suspected the latter, and he was proven right when the trail of lights led him into the living room.
What he found was spectacular. Kurt stood in the doorway for a long while, just taking it all in with awe and delight. The space was transformed from its usual quiet elegance. The fireplace was lit, giving the room a warm feel, amplified by more tealights on every flat surface. In front of the fireplace lay a thick, furry rug in white, looking so plush and inviting that Kurt felt an immediate need to kneel down and touch it. There were vases with large bouquets of lilac, Kurt’s favorite flowers, on both ends of the room; dark purple with a single stalk of white in each. They looked beautiful and smelled intoxicating.
It was not the only heavenly smell in the room. A low table stood by the side of the fireplace, set with little bowls of fruit. There were strawberries and grapes there, green and black, as well as sliced apples and peaches in a covered bowl, and in the middle of it all a chocolate fondue bubbled happily, dispersing a rich dark aroma throughout the room. To the side stood two wineglasses and a bottle in an ice bucket that, when Kurt came closer, turned out to be sparkling cider.
Another note lay on the edge on the table, the elegant cream paper not folded this time, with Blaine’s handwriting.
Remember when you sang “Not Alone” to me that night?
As soon as Kurt put the note back down, wondering what Blaine meant - because of course he remembered, how could he ever forget? - the sound system behind him came to life with a song he vaguely knew, but had never really listened to until now.
I want to start by letting you know this
Because of you my life has a purpose
The song went on, and by the end of the first chorus Kurt’s eyes were stinging with tears and his chest felt tight. It was so hard to listen to this and remember those dark, painful days last March.
I was broken, I was choking, I was lost
This song saved my life
I was bleeding, stopped believing, could have died
This song saved my life
I was down, I was drowning
but it came on just in time
This song saved my life
Tears were flowing freely, but they were not sad tears, not really. Kurt felt grateful; so grateful for the fact that Blaine was still here. That they were together and could think about the future and love each other with all their hearts, could be happy in spite of all the crap life kept throwing their way. And he made a promise to himself, right then, right there: that if things between them ever got hard, if there were problems and rough patches, he would remember this; remember how much they had to be thankful for. How precious it was.
Halfway through the second verse, strong, warm arms embraced Kurt from behind and he whipped around to find Blaine there, gorgeous in a red shirt and black pants, smiling softly.
Kurt launched himself into his arms with a broken half-sob, burrowing his face into the soft skin between Blaine’s collar and his jaw. This was all he needed right now. This boy, whole and alive, and his, the love of his life, however incredible that may sound at eighteen. For a moment they just stood like this, holding each other and listening to the song winding to an end, until Kurt’s breathing slowed down. Finally, he raised his head from Blaine’s neck to look him in the eyes.
“Kurt, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just wanted to thank you for being with me. Tell you how important you are to me. Every word of what you heard is true.”
“Yeah, I know, these are good tears. I’m so happy you’re here, not just with me, but in the world at all. Did you really… back then...”
“Wanted to die? No, not really. There were moments, though… sometimes… Without you in my life, I don’t know where I’d be today. I have no idea where I’d have ended up without your love. I mean, look how many things wouldn’t have happened without you and your family - Eric’s arrest, my parents’ acceptance, therapy, last summer together, the transfer… I’m so happy I heard you that night.”
“Yeah, me too…”
Blaine’s eyes crinkled when he smiled.
“Okay, enough sad thoughts, tonight is supposed to be about joy and love. We’ve never had a chance to dance together, so… May I have this dance?”
Some slow ballad was playing now, and Kurt laughed, his happiness even more real and intense when he looked at it in contrast with what might have been.
“Yes. Yes you may.”
They swayed to the music for a long time, so close that their bodies seemed fused; every muscle, every curve pressed together. It felt amazing, dancing like this. Sometimes during the blackest nights, when dreams were allowed and secrets safely hidden in the soft darkness, Kurt used to imagine dancing with a boy, maybe at his prom, without hiding or fear. But even in these dreams he never thought it could be so good - the warmth and smell of Blaine all around him, the music enveloping them, floating over and vibrating through them. It felt so intimate and so innocent at the same time.
It turned out dancing like this was a perfect opportunity to kiss, too. Slow and deep, their bodies so attuned to the music that it seemed to pulse between their lips and sliding tongues. Soon there were necks involved, and wandering hands, which led straight to gasps when their hips ground against each other, causing delicious friction. Blaine pulled away then, panting, taking Kurt’s hand to lead him.
“Come here.”
The furry rug proved to be just as soft and comfortable as it looked, and they sunk onto it, kissing and touching unhurriedly, Blaine’s face even more beautiful in the warm glow of the fire, tiny flames of the candles nearby dancing in his eyes, painting them golden. Every move of their bodies, every touch felt special, and Kurt couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being cherished, almost worshipped, with every single one of Blaine’s kisses and whispered words of love.
At some point their shirts got discarded, their pants opened, and nothing outside this room mattered then, nothing but Kurt and Blaine, their hands on each other, their gasps and moans caught between their lips. They were one here, completely open and shameless in these moments, safe in their vulnerability because if they could be certain of anything, it was of the fact that either of them would sooner hurt himself than the other one. It was right. Right time, right place, right person. And even though an orgasm, just like sleep and death, is a solitary experience, they managed to keep their eyes open and focused on each other’s up till the very last second, and came back down right to their tight embrace, legs intertwined and lips connected.
Sometime later Kurt ran his tongue over Blaine’s wonderfully sensitive upper lip, which was meant as a way to get attention, but ended up in them getting lost in each other for a few more minutes. When their lips separated, he finally managed to say what he planned.
“I think we both need a shower.”
Blaine chuckled, sounding sated.
“You might be right. But we’d have to get up to do it.”
“I think we might survive if we come back here afterwards and continue the fun in our pajamas, what do you say?”
“Hm. I like your thinking. Okay, you go to the bathroom down the hall, I’ll go upstairs, and we’ll meet back here in ten minutes.”
“Yes sir.”
It wasn’t that Kurt was stalling under the streams of deliciously hot water. Not at all. He was just reveling in every minute of this evening and, well, making sure he was perfectly clean. Because unless he was mistaken, this was the Big Night. The one he kept dreaming about more and more lately, barely able to contain his need whenever Blaine’s lips were getting close, so close, but never there. He knew Blaine wanted it just as much, they’d talked about it again and again. It would be easy to just give in to the mutual desire and try it; learn each other’s taste, check what it felt like to have his boyfriend’s talented lips on him, his beautiful cock filling Kurt’s mouth; just once. But Blaine was adamant: it was supposed to be special. Kurt’s own words were coming back to bite him in the ass. Finally, it looked like it was going to happen, under circumstances so extraordinary he couldn’t have dreamed of anything better. Kurt was half hard already, just thinking about it.
Finally, he got out of the shower, drying himself carefully with a fluffy blue towel Blaine had left for him. Raking his fingers through his damp hair, he looked in the mirror. His face was flushed, his eyes sparkling, lips red and slightly puffy from kissing. The silver band on his ring finger was his only adornment as he stood, naked. The ridiculously large mirror reflected his lean form and Kurt had to admit that he’d never felt as good in his own body as he did now.
He’d been extremely self-conscious most of his life - about his round, milkmaid face; his pear hips; his proportions always somehow off, his skin too pale, too quick to blush or sunburn. In his own eyes, he’d been the picture of awkwardness. Yet when Blaine looked at him, he saw a completely different picture: beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sexy were just some of the adjectives he’d used describing it. And as Kurt was looking in the mirror now, he had to admit what he saw was pretty acceptable, actually. The last two years had been good for him. He’d shot up, which resulted in better body proportions; his legs were long and slim, able to rock even the tightest pair of jeans. His butt wasn’t bad, either, small and shapely. Flat, toned stomach; smooth, defined chest; long neck and a face that had finally lost the last of the baby fat; pale, flawless skin…
Suddenly aware that it must have been much longer than ten minutes, Kurt put on his pajama pants quickly, foregoing a shirt. He took a deep, steadying breath before going back to the living room. Blaine, similarly clad, was waiting patiently on the sofa by the low table. His eyes brightened when he saw Kurt, who felt a pressing need to explain his long absence.
“I’m sorry, I just-“
Blaine smiled widely.
“Shush. Come here.”
The wine glasses had been filled with sparkling cider; they shimmered in the candlelight as Blaine handed Kurt one of them. They drank a little in silence before Blaine took a strawberry out of the bowl, dipped it in the melted chocolate and raised it to Kurt’s lips.
The chocolate was perfect, dark and exquisite, with a hint of chili aftertaste pleasantly stinging his tongue. When combined with the juicy sweetness of the ripe strawberry, the effect was amazing. Kurt couldn’t suppress a moan at the decadent taste. He rarely let himself indulge in chocolate, leaving the guilty pleasure for moments when he was feeling particularly low; he found that abstinence sharpened the delight even more now.
Blaine chuckled and reached to bring another strawberry to Kurt’s lips. In his hurry, he didn’t wait long enough for the excess chocolate to drip back to the fondue dish, and warm drops of it landed in a messy trail on Kurt’s chest. Explosions of flavor still on his tongue, Kurt opened his eyes slowly to look for a tissue - just in time to see Blaine’s tongue connecting with a dot of chocolate on his chest.
It felt strangely erotic, the way Blaine was cleaning him up with his tongue. So much so, in fact, that Kurt was fully hard in a matter of seconds, whimpering helplessly as the last of the mess was licked off his right nipple. When Blaine came up to his lips, eagerly searching for every last bit of chocolate melted there, Kurt dove into the kiss like a starving man.
Soon enough, it turned into full-on food play. They fed each other chocolate-covered fruit, meticulously cleaning any drips with their lips and tongues, stopping every now and then to drink some cider and kiss, slow and sweet. When all the fruit was gone, Blaine put two of his fingers into the warm chocolate and started painting abstract patterns on Kurt’s stomach, around his belly button and down, until he reached just over the low-slung waistband of his pajama pants, and Kurt gasped. With his cock pressing against the waistband, Blaine’s tongue would be mere millimeters from the head if he licked the chocolate he’d smeared there. The thought was intoxicating, and suddenly Kurt had enough of playing, he wanted Blaine’s mouth, now.
“Blaine… Blaine, come on, I want-“
And then he was in the air. Or, more specifically, in Blaine’s arms, being carried towards the stairs. Kurt would be lying shamelessly if he said that the ease with which his boyfriend picked him up didn’t fuel the desire in his veins even more.
“Blaine, hey, wait, why are we moving? It’s so cozy down here!”
“You’ll see. Close your eyes.”
They were upstairs now and Blaine wasn’t even winded after climbing the stairs with his additional weight. Kurt did what he was told, although he really didn’t know what Blaine could have done to make it better than downstairs. Then he felt himself deposited gently on the bed, smooth, silky fabric under him.
“Okay, you can open your eyes now.”
The place he knew so well by now was completely changed. Strings of tiny lights had been woven tastefully around the room, just enough to disperse the darkness, but not to overwhelm. Their light was cold, so different than the candles downstairs, but there was something thrilling in the way it looked, like at a frosty winter night. Kurt rose up on his forearms to look around and his heart clenched when he saw what Blaine had done to make this night even more special.
He was lying on fine black satin that gleamed slightly in the dim lighting. On the bed and all around it, hundreds and hundreds of deep red rose petals contrasted perfectly with the black of the fabric, the white of lights and the paleness of his own skin where he pressed against them. There was a subtle aroma of sandalwood coming from a single candle burning on the nightstand.
It was perfect.
His face must have said this already, because Blaine was smiling widely when Kurt’s eyes returned to his face.
“Special enough?”
“Blaine… it’s perfect. I love you. And I want you. Please, come on, I want you so bad…”
The bed dipped and Blaine was there, leaning over him, licking the chocolate that was smeared all over his abdomen now, and Kurt could only lie back down and take it, feel it as every nerve in his skin sizzled and tingled with pleasure. Blaine’s hot, wet tongue was circling his bellybutton, dipping in to get the last tiny drop of chocolate out. His perfect mouth was sucking at the skin there and usually Kurt loved this, it was one of his favorite places but tonight - tonight he wanted more. Right now.
He moaned desperately and Blaine’s tongue came back, lower this time, still cleaning him up and it was too much, damn it.
“Blaine, just… fuck the mess, I want your mouth, please. Please Bla-- ahhhh.”
There it was. Blaine’s tongue, sneaking under the waistband of Kurt’s pants, just tiny kitten-licks of heaven, hot all over the head of his cock.
“More.”
He had no idea when his voice had become so ragged, but it didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered as long as Blaine kept doing what he was doing. Sliding Kurt’s pants down over his thighs. Stroking his cock, once, twice… kissing the tip, his lips light and warm. Swirling his tongue… around… Then sinking down with his lips… lower, lower… Oh.
Heaven.
It took him a while to come back to himself, even more to regain control over his muscles. Everything was a little fuzzy around the edges and the world was so, so good. And there was Blaine, beautiful, gorgeous, amazing Blaine, sitting by Kurt’s side with a warm smile on his face.
“Ohmygod.”
“Good?” Blaine knew the answer, of course he did, his happy eyes said so, but Kurt didn’t mind telling him, or better yet, showing him.
“Amazing. Breathtaking. Spectacular. Can I…?”
“Do you want to?” Blaine’s eyes were completely black with arousal, his breathing fast.
“Of course I want to! What do you think I’ve been dreaming about almost every night for the last month?”
“But… giving?”
“Uhm. Mmm… let me?”
They switched places, only Blaine insisted that he wanted to watch, so he half-sat against the pillows. Kurt leaned in to meet Blaine’s lips, deep and dirty; kissed his neck in all the best spots; then led a hot trail down his chest and stomach. Looking up to make sure it was still okay, he met Blaine’s eyes - wanting, pleading - and his hunger for this flared.
Quick slide of Blaine’s pajama pants - just a bit, undressing was still a trigger - and Kurt inhaled deeply, kissing down the pronounced V of his boyfriends hips, down to the crease of his thigh. Blaine smelled like his favorite shower gel and dark chocolate, but beside that, there was an underlying hint of pure masculinity that shot right to Kurt’s groin. He couldn’t stop himself; his nose nuzzled into dark, curly hair right by the base of Blaine’s cock.
“Kurt-“ the moan was high and breathless, and of course, Blaine must have been hard all that time, and wanting, and here Kurt was, teasing.
He took his boyfriend’s perfect cock in his hand and stroked, just once, before licking a wet line up, from the base to the very tip of it, all velvet-soft, hot skin. There were already droplets of pre-come gathering in the slit and Kurt licked them off eagerly. He didn’t know why, but in his dreams and fantasies the taste of Blaine was always one of the most arousing things for him. Now, in reality, the salty fluid on his tongue made Kurt moan indecently. God, he craved it; he needed more, more.
Not wasting any more time, he shifted a little to gain better access and in one swift motion sank his mouth down over his boyfriend’s cock. God, it was perfect; thick enough that Kurt had to open his mouth wide, but the slight ache in his jaw felt just right. The sound Blaine made above him made him look up; he saw the picture of perfect debauchery, flushed face and wild eyes, mouth open and panting. Blaine moaned again, more desperately.
“Oh god, Kurt, the way you look, with your mouth stretched over my cock… I can’t… I don’t think I’ll last long…”
Kurt let his lips slide off the pink head, just long enough to answer.
“Good. I can’t wait to taste you. Don’t hold back.”
And with this, he was back down, enjoying it as much as Blaine was. He stroked his hand over the part of the shaft he couldn’t take in, slid his mouth up and down in slow, sure motion, sucking and swirling his tongue around the tip, humming with how good it felt, and soon Blaine was babbling and saying yes, again and again, until he shuddered and came, flooding Kurt’s mouth.
Minutes passed until the analytic part of Kurt’s brain switched on again, in time to make him embarrassed for the bold way he had been talking a moment ago - so eager and forward, oh god… But right then Blaine’s eyes opened, wide and dazed, and he gathered Kurt to him, cuddled into his chest like he always did, pressing a sloppy kiss into his collarbone.
“Mm, stop that. Think tomorrow. Have all weekend. Cuddle now.”
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The next chapter: Changes
Oh, and the song is Simple Plan’s This Song Saved My Life, and it’s perfect. Read the lyrics at least if you can’t listen while reading;)
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11. SPECIAL
Burt was surprised when Blaine came into the garage one early May afternoon, looking a bit nervous and uneasy. When the boy asked if they could talk in private, his surprise immediately turned into anxiety. Was something wrong with either of them? Did something bad happen again?
As soon as they were alone in the small office space, behind the closed door, Burt turned to Blaine.
“What happened?”
Blaine raised his eyebrows.
“What, why? Nothing happened. Why would you think that?”
Burt sighed in relief and sat in his old, rickety desk chair.
“Well, you don’t usually come here alone, and you look like something’s bothering you.”
Blaine blushed - really blushed - and looked at the floor, shuffling his feet.
“Um, that’s because I’m not sure if what I’m about to do right now is a smart move. I just hope you won’t kick me out of here and ban me from your house for good.”
“Let’s hear it then. Come on, sit down and tell me what it is that you did.”
Blaine sat on the wooden stool opposite him; Burt could see him gathering courage. He was really curious what this was about now. When the boy started talking, his voice was quiet but mostly steady; he looked Burt in the eyes, nervous but certain.
“Nothing. Yet. But… do you remember that talk you had with Kurt and I over a year ago? When we’d just become a couple?”
Oh. That talk. So this was about sex. Right. Burt braced himself.
“I remember. What about it?”
It was clearly difficult for Blaine to keep his eyes up, but he soldiered on. Burt couldn’t help but admire him; the kid had balls.
“Well, you said that as long as we were good to each other and respectful of our boundaries, you didn’t care if we were doing anything um… sexual.”
“That I did. So?”
“Well, we kind of… want to… I mean…”
“You and Kurt want to have sex.”
It sounded strange and all wrong, said straight out like that, and Burt really did not need to know the details of his son’s sex life. But at the same time he couldn’t help feeling a little shocked - they were that far already? It had been over a year, sure, but considering the circumstances… Blaine’s voice shook him out of his thoughts.
“Um. It depends how you define sex, I think. But something sexual. Yes.”
Burt kept his face neutral, but inwardly he smiled. So they were taking things slow. He was relieved they were being smart after all.
“I’m moved that you’re telling me this, Blaine, but I don’t think you need my permission. I told you that before.”
Blaine blushed harder.
“But I need your permission for Kurt to stay at my house over the weekend when my parents aren’t there. And I kind of… wanted to ask you for help in arranging a surprise.”
Burt finally let his smile show and saw Blaine relax instantly.
“Okay. Tell me about it.”
He’d found the arrangement sweet and romantic, the kind of thing he knew Kurt would love. So sure, he would help. Let his son have all the good, beautiful moments he could - with so much evil and cruelty in this world, especially for people like these boys, there was never too much of a good thing. On Friday, during their traditional family dinner, Burt took the first step in Blaine’s plan.
“Oh, Kurt? Pack a bag for the weekend, we’re going away tonight.”
Kurt nearly choked on a forkful of peas.
“What? But Dad, I have plans with Blaine! Where are we going?”
Burt remained calm and unmoved.
“You’ll see. It’s a surprise; just some bonding time. Call Blaine and tell him you’ll meet on Monday.”
“But Daaad…”
“Nope, no whining. Be ready by 8:30.”
Kurt pouted.
“At least tell me what kind of dress code is required for this trip.”
“Just, normal. Simple and comfortable.”
“Okay.”
Kurt was clearly irked, even though he tried not to show it, and scurried away to his room as soon as the table was cleared. At 8:30 sharp he descended the stairs with his overnight bag and a face that showed quiet resignation. Burt struggled not to chuckle as he took his own bag (filled with things to be dropped at the dry-cleaner’s tomorrow morning, not that Kurt needed to know), said goodbye to Carole - who was in on the plan, of course - and opened the door to go out to the car.
“You call Blaine?”
“Yes. He was disappointed, but he said he has stuff to do this weekend, so he’d be fine.” Kurt sighed. “I wish you’d told me earlier, you know? I like to know these things, to plan ahead.”
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t be a surprise then. You’ll like it, I’m sure.”
Kurt didn’t sound convinced.
“We’ll see.” Then his tone softened. “But it’s spending time with you. I‘m sure I’ll love it.”
They were silent most of the way, Kurt’s eyes closed like Burt requested. He took a different route than the usual, shorter one - this was a surprise, after all, and Kurt would easily recognize the way he took hundreds of times without even looking.
Finally, they stopped and Burt looked at his son with a soft smile. He was so grown up already. This weekend, he would grow up a little more. It was a bit sad, the way time was taking his little boy further and further away from him. And yet he was so thankful that it would be like this, with love and respect; with joy. Because when Kurt opened his eyes, after some initial confusion, there was nothing but joy on his face.
“Dad, what-“
“Go on, kiddo, take your bag and go. Be good and have fun. Tell Blaine to get you home on Sunday evening.”
“Are you… I… Really?”
“Yeah, yeah. Go. I want to be back home for the game.”
The look that Kurt gave him would stay in Burt’s memory forever, catalogued under Amazing Dad.
“I love you!”
And with that, his son was gone. Burt chuckled softly and turned the car to go home.
***
Kurt felt like he was in a dream. His dad had just taken him to Blaine’s house and left him there for the weekend; even telling him to have fun. Kurt’s head was spinning. Did Blaine even know this? His parents were away for the weekend, that much Kurt knew, and Blaine said he’d be busy anyway… Wait, did they plan this together? No, no way.
He picked up his bag and walked down the long path through the Andersons’ front yard. No cars were in the driveway and the house was dark. Kurt felt a tug of anxiety in his gut; was Blaine even home? Maybe he’d gone somewhere, knowing that he couldn’t count on spending time with Kurt this weekend.
A flash of something light against the solid dark wood of the front door caught Kurt’s attention. It was a piece of paper - cream, thick and folded in half - tucked into the door. Carefully penned letters in deep black ink spelled KURT and suddenly his heart felt like it wanted to jump out of his chest. This was planned. Blaine had some kind of plan for a weekend together, alone. Which could mean many things, of course, but Kurt was pretty sure it only meant one. That he was about to have a night he would remember forever. With a trembling hand, Kurt took the note out and opened it.
Come in.
The door is open.
Wait for me in the living room.
With a deep breath, Kurt opened the door to step into what he was pretty sure would be a romantic dream.
He was wrong.
It was a fairytale.
There was no light in the long hallway, but it wasn’t completely dark either, and Kurt’s breath hitched when he saw why. A trail of candles, tiny tealights in clear glass holders, lined the hallway, disappearing behind a corner. It was like an invitation to follow. And that’s what he did, leaving his shoes, bag and his summer jacket by the door.
The house was quiet; it felt like nobody was there at all. Kurt wondered if Blaine wanted him to wait because he’d gone out for some reason, or if this was a part of his plan. He suspected the latter, and he was proven right when the trail of lights led him into the living room.
What he found was spectacular. Kurt stood in the doorway for a long while, just taking it all in with awe and delight. The space was transformed from its usual quiet elegance. The fireplace was lit, giving the room a warm feel, amplified by more tealights on every flat surface. In front of the fireplace lay a thick, furry rug in white, looking so plush and inviting that Kurt felt an immediate need to kneel down and touch it. There were vases with large bouquets of lilac, Kurt’s favorite flowers, on both ends of the room; dark purple with a single stalk of white in each. They looked beautiful and smelled intoxicating.
It was not the only heavenly smell in the room. A low table stood by the side of the fireplace, set with little bowls of fruit. There were strawberries and grapes there, green and black, as well as sliced apples and peaches in a covered bowl, and in the middle of it all a chocolate fondue bubbled happily, dispersing a rich dark aroma throughout the room. To the side stood two wineglasses and a bottle in an ice bucket that, when Kurt came closer, turned out to be sparkling cider.
Another note lay on the edge on the table, the elegant cream paper not folded this time, with Blaine’s handwriting.
Remember when you sang “Not Alone” to me that night?
As soon as Kurt put the note back down, wondering what Blaine meant - because of course he remembered, how could he ever forget? - the sound system behind him came to life with a song he vaguely knew, but had never really listened to until now.
I want to start by letting you know this
Because of you my life has a purpose
The song went on, and by the end of the first chorus Kurt’s eyes were stinging with tears and his chest felt tight. It was so hard to listen to this and remember those dark, painful days last March.
I was broken, I was choking, I was lost
This song saved my life
I was bleeding, stopped believing, could have died
This song saved my life
I was down, I was drowning
but it came on just in time
This song saved my life
Tears were flowing freely, but they were not sad tears, not really. Kurt felt grateful; so grateful for the fact that Blaine was still here. That they were together and could think about the future and love each other with all their hearts, could be happy in spite of all the crap life kept throwing their way. And he made a promise to himself, right then, right there: that if things between them ever got hard, if there were problems and rough patches, he would remember this; remember how much they had to be thankful for. How precious it was.
Halfway through the second verse, strong, warm arms embraced Kurt from behind and he whipped around to find Blaine there, gorgeous in a red shirt and black pants, smiling softly.
Kurt launched himself into his arms with a broken half-sob, burrowing his face into the soft skin between Blaine’s collar and his jaw. This was all he needed right now. This boy, whole and alive, and his, the love of his life, however incredible that may sound at eighteen. For a moment they just stood like this, holding each other and listening to the song winding to an end, until Kurt’s breathing slowed down. Finally, he raised his head from Blaine’s neck to look him in the eyes.
“Kurt, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just wanted to thank you for being with me. Tell you how important you are to me. Every word of what you heard is true.”
“Yeah, I know, these are good tears. I’m so happy you’re here, not just with me, but in the world at all. Did you really… back then...”
“Wanted to die? No, not really. There were moments, though… sometimes… Without you in my life, I don’t know where I’d be today. I have no idea where I’d have ended up without your love. I mean, look how many things wouldn’t have happened without you and your family - Eric’s arrest, my parents’ acceptance, therapy, last summer together, the transfer… I’m so happy I heard you that night.”
“Yeah, me too…”
Blaine’s eyes crinkled when he smiled.
“Okay, enough sad thoughts, tonight is supposed to be about joy and love. We’ve never had a chance to dance together, so… May I have this dance?”
Some slow ballad was playing now, and Kurt laughed, his happiness even more real and intense when he looked at it in contrast with what might have been.
“Yes. Yes you may.”
They swayed to the music for a long time, so close that their bodies seemed fused; every muscle, every curve pressed together. It felt amazing, dancing like this. Sometimes during the blackest nights, when dreams were allowed and secrets safely hidden in the soft darkness, Kurt used to imagine dancing with a boy, maybe at his prom, without hiding or fear. But even in these dreams he never thought it could be so good - the warmth and smell of Blaine all around him, the music enveloping them, floating over and vibrating through them. It felt so intimate and so innocent at the same time.
It turned out dancing like this was a perfect opportunity to kiss, too. Slow and deep, their bodies so attuned to the music that it seemed to pulse between their lips and sliding tongues. Soon there were necks involved, and wandering hands, which led straight to gasps when their hips ground against each other, causing delicious friction. Blaine pulled away then, panting, taking Kurt’s hand to lead him.
“Come here.”
The furry rug proved to be just as soft and comfortable as it looked, and they sunk onto it, kissing and touching unhurriedly, Blaine’s face even more beautiful in the warm glow of the fire, tiny flames of the candles nearby dancing in his eyes, painting them golden. Every move of their bodies, every touch felt special, and Kurt couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being cherished, almost worshipped, with every single one of Blaine’s kisses and whispered words of love.
At some point their shirts got discarded, their pants opened, and nothing outside this room mattered then, nothing but Kurt and Blaine, their hands on each other, their gasps and moans caught between their lips. They were one here, completely open and shameless in these moments, safe in their vulnerability because if they could be certain of anything, it was of the fact that either of them would sooner hurt himself than the other one. It was right. Right time, right place, right person. And even though an orgasm, just like sleep and death, is a solitary experience, they managed to keep their eyes open and focused on each other’s up till the very last second, and came back down right to their tight embrace, legs intertwined and lips connected.
Sometime later Kurt ran his tongue over Blaine’s wonderfully sensitive upper lip, which was meant as a way to get attention, but ended up in them getting lost in each other for a few more minutes. When their lips separated, he finally managed to say what he planned.
“I think we both need a shower.”
Blaine chuckled, sounding sated.
“You might be right. But we’d have to get up to do it.”
“I think we might survive if we come back here afterwards and continue the fun in our pajamas, what do you say?”
“Hm. I like your thinking. Okay, you go to the bathroom down the hall, I’ll go upstairs, and we’ll meet back here in ten minutes.”
“Yes sir.”
It wasn’t that Kurt was stalling under the streams of deliciously hot water. Not at all. He was just reveling in every minute of this evening and, well, making sure he was perfectly clean. Because unless he was mistaken, this was the Big Night. The one he kept dreaming about more and more lately, barely able to contain his need whenever Blaine’s lips were getting close, so close, but never there. He knew Blaine wanted it just as much, they’d talked about it again and again. It would be easy to just give in to the mutual desire and try it; learn each other’s taste, check what it felt like to have his boyfriend’s talented lips on him, his beautiful cock filling Kurt’s mouth; just once. But Blaine was adamant: it was supposed to be special. Kurt’s own words were coming back to bite him in the ass. Finally, it looked like it was going to happen, under circumstances so extraordinary he couldn’t have dreamed of anything better. Kurt was half hard already, just thinking about it.
Finally, he got out of the shower, drying himself carefully with a fluffy blue towel Blaine had left for him. Raking his fingers through his damp hair, he looked in the mirror. His face was flushed, his eyes sparkling, lips red and slightly puffy from kissing. The silver band on his ring finger was his only adornment as he stood, naked. The ridiculously large mirror reflected his lean form and Kurt had to admit that he’d never felt as good in his own body as he did now.
He’d been extremely self-conscious most of his life - about his round, milkmaid face; his pear hips; his proportions always somehow off, his skin too pale, too quick to blush or sunburn. In his own eyes, he’d been the picture of awkwardness. Yet when Blaine looked at him, he saw a completely different picture: beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sexy were just some of the adjectives he’d used describing it. And as Kurt was looking in the mirror now, he had to admit what he saw was pretty acceptable, actually. The last two years had been good for him. He’d shot up, which resulted in better body proportions; his legs were long and slim, able to rock even the tightest pair of jeans. His butt wasn’t bad, either, small and shapely. Flat, toned stomach; smooth, defined chest; long neck and a face that had finally lost the last of the baby fat; pale, flawless skin…
Suddenly aware that it must have been much longer than ten minutes, Kurt put on his pajama pants quickly, foregoing a shirt. He took a deep, steadying breath before going back to the living room. Blaine, similarly clad, was waiting patiently on the sofa by the low table. His eyes brightened when he saw Kurt, who felt a pressing need to explain his long absence.
“I’m sorry, I just-“
Blaine smiled widely.
“Shush. Come here.”
The wine glasses had been filled with sparkling cider; they shimmered in the candlelight as Blaine handed Kurt one of them. They drank a little in silence before Blaine took a strawberry out of the bowl, dipped it in the melted chocolate and raised it to Kurt’s lips.
The chocolate was perfect, dark and exquisite, with a hint of chili aftertaste pleasantly stinging his tongue. When combined with the juicy sweetness of the ripe strawberry, the effect was amazing. Kurt couldn’t suppress a moan at the decadent taste. He rarely let himself indulge in chocolate, leaving the guilty pleasure for moments when he was feeling particularly low; he found that abstinence sharpened the delight even more now.
Blaine chuckled and reached to bring another strawberry to Kurt’s lips. In his hurry, he didn’t wait long enough for the excess chocolate to drip back to the fondue dish, and warm drops of it landed in a messy trail on Kurt’s chest. Explosions of flavor still on his tongue, Kurt opened his eyes slowly to look for a tissue - just in time to see Blaine’s tongue connecting with a dot of chocolate on his chest.
It felt strangely erotic, the way Blaine was cleaning him up with his tongue. So much so, in fact, that Kurt was fully hard in a matter of seconds, whimpering helplessly as the last of the mess was licked off his right nipple. When Blaine came up to his lips, eagerly searching for every last bit of chocolate melted there, Kurt dove into the kiss like a starving man.
Soon enough, it turned into full-on food play. They fed each other chocolate-covered fruit, meticulously cleaning any drips with their lips and tongues, stopping every now and then to drink some cider and kiss, slow and sweet. When all the fruit was gone, Blaine put two of his fingers into the warm chocolate and started painting abstract patterns on Kurt’s stomach, around his belly button and down, until he reached just over the low-slung waistband of his pajama pants, and Kurt gasped. With his cock pressing against the waistband, Blaine’s tongue would be mere millimeters from the head if he licked the chocolate he’d smeared there. The thought was intoxicating, and suddenly Kurt had enough of playing, he wanted Blaine’s mouth, now.
“Blaine… Blaine, come on, I want-“
And then he was in the air. Or, more specifically, in Blaine’s arms, being carried towards the stairs. Kurt would be lying shamelessly if he said that the ease with which his boyfriend picked him up didn’t fuel the desire in his veins even more.
“Blaine, hey, wait, why are we moving? It’s so cozy down here!”
“You’ll see. Close your eyes.”
They were upstairs now and Blaine wasn’t even winded after climbing the stairs with his additional weight. Kurt did what he was told, although he really didn’t know what Blaine could have done to make it better than downstairs. Then he felt himself deposited gently on the bed, smooth, silky fabric under him.
“Okay, you can open your eyes now.”
The place he knew so well by now was completely changed. Strings of tiny lights had been woven tastefully around the room, just enough to disperse the darkness, but not to overwhelm. Their light was cold, so different than the candles downstairs, but there was something thrilling in the way it looked, like at a frosty winter night. Kurt rose up on his forearms to look around and his heart clenched when he saw what Blaine had done to make this night even more special.
He was lying on fine black satin that gleamed slightly in the dim lighting. On the bed and all around it, hundreds and hundreds of deep red rose petals contrasted perfectly with the black of the fabric, the white of lights and the paleness of his own skin where he pressed against them. There was a subtle aroma of sandalwood coming from a single candle burning on the nightstand.
It was perfect.
His face must have said this already, because Blaine was smiling widely when Kurt’s eyes returned to his face.
“Special enough?”
“Blaine… it’s perfect. I love you. And I want you. Please, come on, I want you so bad…”
The bed dipped and Blaine was there, leaning over him, licking the chocolate that was smeared all over his abdomen now, and Kurt could only lie back down and take it, feel it as every nerve in his skin sizzled and tingled with pleasure. Blaine’s hot, wet tongue was circling his bellybutton, dipping in to get the last tiny drop of chocolate out. His perfect mouth was sucking at the skin there and usually Kurt loved this, it was one of his favorite places but tonight - tonight he wanted more. Right now.
He moaned desperately and Blaine’s tongue came back, lower this time, still cleaning him up and it was too much, damn it.
“Blaine, just… fuck the mess, I want your mouth, please. Please Bla-- ahhhh.”
There it was. Blaine’s tongue, sneaking under the waistband of Kurt’s pants, just tiny kitten-licks of heaven, hot all over the head of his cock.
“More.”
He had no idea when his voice had become so ragged, but it didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered as long as Blaine kept doing what he was doing. Sliding Kurt’s pants down over his thighs. Stroking his cock, once, twice… kissing the tip, his lips light and warm. Swirling his tongue… around… Then sinking down with his lips… lower, lower… Oh.
Heaven.
It took him a while to come back to himself, even more to regain control over his muscles. Everything was a little fuzzy around the edges and the world was so, so good. And there was Blaine, beautiful, gorgeous, amazing Blaine, sitting by Kurt’s side with a warm smile on his face.
“Ohmygod.”
“Good?” Blaine knew the answer, of course he did, his happy eyes said so, but Kurt didn’t mind telling him, or better yet, showing him.
“Amazing. Breathtaking. Spectacular. Can I…?”
“Do you want to?” Blaine’s eyes were completely black with arousal, his breathing fast.
“Of course I want to! What do you think I’ve been dreaming about almost every night for the last month?”
“But… giving?”
“Uhm. Mmm… let me?”
They switched places, only Blaine insisted that he wanted to watch, so he half-sat against the pillows. Kurt leaned in to meet Blaine’s lips, deep and dirty; kissed his neck in all the best spots; then led a hot trail down his chest and stomach. Looking up to make sure it was still okay, he met Blaine’s eyes - wanting, pleading - and his hunger for this flared.
Quick slide of Blaine’s pajama pants - just a bit, undressing was still a trigger - and Kurt inhaled deeply, kissing down the pronounced V of his boyfriends hips, down to the crease of his thigh. Blaine smelled like his favorite shower gel and dark chocolate, but beside that, there was an underlying hint of pure masculinity that shot right to Kurt’s groin. He couldn’t stop himself; his nose nuzzled into dark, curly hair right by the base of Blaine’s cock.
“Kurt-“ the moan was high and breathless, and of course, Blaine must have been hard all that time, and wanting, and here Kurt was, teasing.
He took his boyfriend’s perfect cock in his hand and stroked, just once, before licking a wet line up, from the base to the very tip of it, all velvet-soft, hot skin. There were already droplets of pre-come gathering in the slit and Kurt licked them off eagerly. He didn’t know why, but in his dreams and fantasies the taste of Blaine was always one of the most arousing things for him. Now, in reality, the salty fluid on his tongue made Kurt moan indecently. God, he craved it; he needed more, more.
Not wasting any more time, he shifted a little to gain better access and in one swift motion sank his mouth down over his boyfriend’s cock. God, it was perfect; thick enough that Kurt had to open his mouth wide, but the slight ache in his jaw felt just right. The sound Blaine made above him made him look up; he saw the picture of perfect debauchery, flushed face and wild eyes, mouth open and panting. Blaine moaned again, more desperately.
“Oh god, Kurt, the way you look, with your mouth stretched over my cock… I can’t… I don’t think I’ll last long…”
Kurt let his lips slide off the pink head, just long enough to answer.
“Good. I can’t wait to taste you. Don’t hold back.”
And with this, he was back down, enjoying it as much as Blaine was. He stroked his hand over the part of the shaft he couldn’t take in, slid his mouth up and down in slow, sure motion, sucking and swirling his tongue around the tip, humming with how good it felt, and soon Blaine was babbling and saying yes, again and again, until he shuddered and came, flooding Kurt’s mouth.
Minutes passed until the analytic part of Kurt’s brain switched on again, in time to make him embarrassed for the bold way he had been talking a moment ago - so eager and forward, oh god… But right then Blaine’s eyes opened, wide and dazed, and he gathered Kurt to him, cuddled into his chest like he always did, pressing a sloppy kiss into his collarbone.
“Mm, stop that. Think tomorrow. Have all weekend. Cuddle now.”
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The next chapter: Changes