Wrong. Chapter 22
22.
By next Saturday they are both pretty much used to the ebb and flow of Blaine’s moods and symptoms, and no longer so afraid of them. They’ve been cooped up in the Andersons’ house since Kurt arrived because Blaine’s felt either too tired or too anxious to get out - except for the therapy sessions - or have friends over. And since his parents are constantly busy, they’ve been there mostly by themselves. Which has been really nice after spending such a long time away from each other, but sometimes opening your mouth to someone else is a welcome change.
So when Kurt’s dad invites them to spend the next week at the Hummel house, Kurt secretly sighs with relief and Blaine admits that it feels like a much nicer prospect than sitting in the big empty house by themselves. Kurt misses his family, of course, but it’s not just that. In a situation like theirs there are things more alluring than the opportunity to have sex whenever and wherever they want (and not just because Blaine doesn’t want it at all now). Things like the safety of having two caring adults by their side if anything happens, or even the chance for more human interaction. Not to mention, Kurt really starts to feel the strain of all the stress and lack of sleep now. Not being the only one there for Blaine would surely ease the weight of responsibility a little.
They drive to Lima on Sunday morning, right after Mrs. Anderson departs for her conference week, and by lunchtime Kurt already knows it was the best decision possible. His dad and Carole don’t hesitate to engage them both in family activities right away, and soon Kurt is helping Carole with dinner preparations and Blaine’s in the den, watching a game with Burt and Finn. Blaine’s excited voice and laughter as he comments about something on screen is something Kurt hasn’t heard for a long time. His eyes sting momentarily and he has to pause what he’s doing to just stand and listen, like it’s the most beautiful music.
In spite of Kurt’s worries, their sleeping together isn’t an issue at all, and that night, before they fall asleep, they take turns remembering all their favorite moments spent in his room from the very beginning, when they were still just friends. The night afterwards is still bad, with Blaine waking up all the time, tossing and turning and irritated by his insomnia, but even that is easier somehow.
Tina comes by the next afternoon, with tons of photocopied class notes for Blaine, and a new schedule is born. Every day they stay in bed until ten or even eleven, to make up for the nights of intermittent sleep. Around noon, after late breakfast, they sit down to the school books that Blaine brought back from home, going through material that he’s missed since his hospital stay. Kurt helps sometimes, but mostly just keeps Blaine company, to motivate him and keep him on track. Frankly, he’s amazed with how fast his boyfriend is going through the stacks of papers; he’s always known Blaine to be a quick learner, but has never had a chance to just sit back and watch him study, like he does now.
They spend evenings with Kurt’s family, only occasionally retreating to the quiet privacy of his room if Blaine gets anxious and needs some space. It doesn’t happen often, however - it feels like having more to do, more company and distractions from his own thoughts helps Blaine tremendously. He smiles and talks, and even though he says the numb feeling is still there all the time, he seems much less tense and lost than days ago. Kurt feels like the boy he loves is finally, slowly, coming back to him - and to himself.
***
On Friday morning Blaine wakes up and stretches lazily. The house is quiet; outside, snow is falling silently, large, fat snowflakes dancing slowly in the wind. Inside, under the soft duvet, it’s warm and safe; there’s a body pressed firmly to Blaine’s back, an arm slung loosely over his waist - Kurt; breathing softly against the nape of his neck. It feels perfect, one of those moments that make you stop and just experience it, trying to memorize every little detail.
It takes a moment to register, but when he does, a smile spreads slowly on Blaine’s face. He just woke up and felt good. Without the anxiety, the immediate rush of thoughts and emotions or the dreadful unreal feeling, just… normal. What’s more, he slept right through the night, not waking up once. Such a small thing, but it feels like such a huge achievement. He can’t remember when he’d last had a good night’s sleep.
He turns in Kurt’s embrace - carefully, trying not to wake him, but it’s no good; after so many nights guarding Blaine’s dreams, Kurt’s perfectly attuned to react to his body language. His eyes are open, alert by the time Blaine faces him; he knows that look - Kurt’s trying to assess his mood, state of his mind, whatever. But it’s not his eyes, no matter how beautiful they are, that capture Blaine’s attention now; it’s Kurt’s lips - pink and inviting, looking so impossibly soft and sweet that he can’t resist.
The kiss is a surprise - certainly to Kurt, who’s interrupted in the middle of his Hi baby, how do you feel?, but to Blaine as well. Not because he kissed Kurt, that’s no surprise, but because of how it feels. They’ve been kissing daily these past two weeks, even though they hardly went any further than that, but this… This is the kind of kiss he remembers from before Kurt went away - the kind that leaves them both breathless and shivering with the sheer amount of stimuli and feelings. Blaine’s lips tingle now, arousal sparkling under his skin, spreading and multiplying, teasing a little moan out of him. Kurt’s tongue ghosts shyly over his upper lip and Blaine deepens the kiss, conquering and rediscovering each and every little spot that he used to know by heart, Kurt whimpering softly into his mouth.
When he finally pulls away, Kurt’s eyes are wide and bright, and Blaine reaches to cup his cheek and swipe his thumb softly over the kiss-stained lips.
“You feel so good.”