Learning To Breathe Again (Chapter 4)
A/N: The next chapter (or two, or three…) is pure comfort. Because Blaine really needs comfort now. Enjoy.
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CHAPTER 4. Interventions
When Kurt entered the senior commons that Friday afternoon, Blaine close by his side, tense and exhausted after the whole week, everyone else was already there, looking as if they’d just been waiting for the two of them. Kurt checked his watch, confused. They still had ten minutes until the practice began.
“Um, did we miss a memo about coming early today?”
David smiled from his place behind the desk. “No, you haven’t. We’ve met earlier today, because we had something to prepare. Sit down, you two.”
They went to a couch, unsure what was going on. Wes came up to them then.
“We don’t usually do things this way, but it was you two who showed us that performing can be used for more than just competition or entertainment, it can be a way to express things and show how we feel. So Blaine, this is how we want to tell you something important now - all of us. Just listen carefully.”
The Warblers quickly stood in the well-practiced formation in the center of the common room, Jeff and Nick up front, in the soloists positions, and soon the room was filled with melodic humming. Kurt recognized the song instantly, with a flashback to last year, when he sang it himself with another group of friends, and he grinned, wide and thankful. Yes, Wes understood. Thank god.
Nick started singing now and soon all the voices built up into perfect harmony behind him.
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean onJeff took over the lead now.
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean onBlaine sat on the couch speechless, mouth open in astonishment, hand squeezing Kurt’s. The song was flowing, filling the air around them and slowly coming to an end, Nick’s voice backed up by strong vocals of the rest of the group again as he sang.
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call meWhen the last notes dissolved into silence, Blaine’s cheeks were wet. Kurt could see that he was stunned and moved to the core, but also ashamed, and it saddened him deeply. Blaine was so used to dealing with everything by himself that a simple act of caring initiated by his friends affected him so much that he hardly knew how to deal with it. He acted like he didn’t even deserve it.
Wes stepped out of the formation now and addressed Blaine again.
“Blaine, we can see there’s something bad going on in your life and we are worried. You don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to. We’re not asking what happened. Just tell us how we can help you, make it easier for you, okay? You need your friends, Blaine. Don’t be too proud to accept our help, let us take care of you.”
Kurt watched as his boyfriend stood up and looked at the rest of the Warblers.
“Guys… I don’t know what to say. Just… thank you. This was beautiful. And I really appreciate it. Can we talk about this on Monday, though? I’m really tired after all week and it’s not exactly easy to talk about, so…”
Wes nodded eagerly. “Of course.”
Blaine smiled then and Kurt’s heart felt much lighter. He wouldn’t be so alone anymore if he let others in.
The meeting finished early that day and everyone left the commons, laughing and talking, excited for the weekend.
Kurt slipped his hand into Blaine’s slightly bigger one. “Coffee at Lima Bean?”
Blaine sighed wearily. “Not today. I’m dead tired. I just want to collapse on my bed and not have to get up ‘til Monday.”
“Oh. What about tomorrow? Or Sunday? Will you be able to meet me or do you have plans with your parents again?” Last weekend they couldn’t meet as the Andersons insisted on Blaine’s spending it with them, which included shopping, family dinner at a restaurant and a visit to some friends. He looked like a ghost on Monday, pale and strained with sleeplessness and stress.
“They are not there so I guess we have no plans.”
“What do you mean, they’re not there?”
“Just what I said. They’re on another trip, they left yesterday and won’t be home until Monday evening.”
“And you’re alone? Again? After all that? This isn’t right, honey.” They started to use all the little endearments recently, only when they were alone, and Kurt had always thought he would hate to be called baby or love, but the truth was, his heart melted every time he heard such words from Blaine’s lips and he used them back just as eagerly.
“Well, what can I do? They don’t exactly ask me for permission. And I’m used to it, really. It’s always been like this, only when I was younger, they traveled a bit less and I had a nanny who came to spend evenings and nights when they were away. But for the last two years I’d just been staying alone. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine, Blaine, especially now. How about that: we’ll get your things and you’ll go home with me. You can stay with us for the weekend and drive to school with me on Monday.”
“Kurt, I can’t… I feel like I’ve intruded on your family long enough. I can’t just go and do it again. It’s enough that I’ve been at your house twice this week.”
“Come on, you’ve never intruded. You were our guest. And now you just feel like part of the family. To them, I mean. If you felt like part of the family to me, it would make this thing between us pretty awkward.”
“Kurt, I know you have to say that to make me feel better, but I don’t want to be a burden.”
Kurt could see the weight of loneliness and distress in the amber eyes. He didn’t know what Blaine was told at home to make him believe he was just a problem nobody needed, but he couldn’t let it sink in any deeper. He grabbed his cell phone, quickly chose a number from quick dial.
“Dad, hi. Blaine is here, so I’ll put you on loudspeaker, could you please tell him exactly what you told me yesterday?”
Burt Hummel’s gruff voice came from the speaker between them.
“Hello, Blaine. I don’t know what it’s about, but I just told Kurt to tell you that we miss you already and if your parents are ever ready to let you out of their sight again or have to go for another business trip, then we want you back here with us, okay? You can stay here whenever you want to, you don’t even have to ask. So what’s this about?”
Kurt answered, because Blaine looked like he was ready to choke on emotions that fought for the lead position in his eyes. Hope, hesitation, relief, fear, gratefulness…
“Blaine’s parents are out of town since yesterday. He’s coming home with me and staying until Monday.”
If his dad was as shocked as he was with the Andersons’ absence, he never let it show. “Great. See you two later then, I’ll tell Carole that there will be one more for dinner. We could use the help, I swear she baked enough lasagna for half an army. She’ll be so happy, she’s been asking about Blaine.”
“Thanks dad, see you in two hours.”
He hung up and looked at Blaine then. “Convinced now? You are no burden, everybody wants you there. We are going to get everything you need and go back to Lima. Unless you honestly prefer to be home alone for the weekend?”
Blaine blinked. “Are you kidding? Of course I’d rather be with you. I can’t even sleep when I’m all alone. Why do you think I’m so exhausted today? I spent half the night watching TV because the nightmares were too much.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I’d have told you to come in a heartbeat.”
“I didn’t want to be…”
“Yeah, yeah, a burden, I get it. But you know what? You’re not. Remember it once and for all. You are not a burden, a trouble or a problem to us, nor will you ever be. And I’m not saying it because I’m nice, or because I love you. I’m not even trying to get in your pants. You’ve heard my dad. They ask about you every day, how you are, when you’re going to come visit. I’m dead serious when I say you’re part of the family now. You’ve been adopted, informally, because apparently we can’t do it for real, but you can’t help it now. So you may as well accept it and let us spoil you.” Kurt took a tissue out of his bag and gave it to his boyfriend, but not before kissing his wet cheek. “And now wipe your face, since it seems to be raining here, and let’s go. Carole’s lasagna is heavenly, even if it’s heavier than I usually eat, and if we’re late, Finn will finish off most of it, no matter how big it is.”
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In the next chapter: Tension
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CHAPTER 4. Interventions
When Kurt entered the senior commons that Friday afternoon, Blaine close by his side, tense and exhausted after the whole week, everyone else was already there, looking as if they’d just been waiting for the two of them. Kurt checked his watch, confused. They still had ten minutes until the practice began.
“Um, did we miss a memo about coming early today?”
David smiled from his place behind the desk. “No, you haven’t. We’ve met earlier today, because we had something to prepare. Sit down, you two.”
They went to a couch, unsure what was going on. Wes came up to them then.
“We don’t usually do things this way, but it was you two who showed us that performing can be used for more than just competition or entertainment, it can be a way to express things and show how we feel. So Blaine, this is how we want to tell you something important now - all of us. Just listen carefully.”
The Warblers quickly stood in the well-practiced formation in the center of the common room, Jeff and Nick up front, in the soloists positions, and soon the room was filled with melodic humming. Kurt recognized the song instantly, with a flashback to last year, when he sang it himself with another group of friends, and he grinned, wide and thankful. Yes, Wes understood. Thank god.
Nick started singing now and soon all the voices built up into perfect harmony behind him.
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean onJeff took over the lead now.
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean onBlaine sat on the couch speechless, mouth open in astonishment, hand squeezing Kurt’s. The song was flowing, filling the air around them and slowly coming to an end, Nick’s voice backed up by strong vocals of the rest of the group again as he sang.
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call meWhen the last notes dissolved into silence, Blaine’s cheeks were wet. Kurt could see that he was stunned and moved to the core, but also ashamed, and it saddened him deeply. Blaine was so used to dealing with everything by himself that a simple act of caring initiated by his friends affected him so much that he hardly knew how to deal with it. He acted like he didn’t even deserve it.
Wes stepped out of the formation now and addressed Blaine again.
“Blaine, we can see there’s something bad going on in your life and we are worried. You don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to. We’re not asking what happened. Just tell us how we can help you, make it easier for you, okay? You need your friends, Blaine. Don’t be too proud to accept our help, let us take care of you.”
Kurt watched as his boyfriend stood up and looked at the rest of the Warblers.
“Guys… I don’t know what to say. Just… thank you. This was beautiful. And I really appreciate it. Can we talk about this on Monday, though? I’m really tired after all week and it’s not exactly easy to talk about, so…”
Wes nodded eagerly. “Of course.”
Blaine smiled then and Kurt’s heart felt much lighter. He wouldn’t be so alone anymore if he let others in.
The meeting finished early that day and everyone left the commons, laughing and talking, excited for the weekend.
Kurt slipped his hand into Blaine’s slightly bigger one. “Coffee at Lima Bean?”
Blaine sighed wearily. “Not today. I’m dead tired. I just want to collapse on my bed and not have to get up ‘til Monday.”
“Oh. What about tomorrow? Or Sunday? Will you be able to meet me or do you have plans with your parents again?” Last weekend they couldn’t meet as the Andersons insisted on Blaine’s spending it with them, which included shopping, family dinner at a restaurant and a visit to some friends. He looked like a ghost on Monday, pale and strained with sleeplessness and stress.
“They are not there so I guess we have no plans.”
“What do you mean, they’re not there?”
“Just what I said. They’re on another trip, they left yesterday and won’t be home until Monday evening.”
“And you’re alone? Again? After all that? This isn’t right, honey.” They started to use all the little endearments recently, only when they were alone, and Kurt had always thought he would hate to be called baby or love, but the truth was, his heart melted every time he heard such words from Blaine’s lips and he used them back just as eagerly.
“Well, what can I do? They don’t exactly ask me for permission. And I’m used to it, really. It’s always been like this, only when I was younger, they traveled a bit less and I had a nanny who came to spend evenings and nights when they were away. But for the last two years I’d just been staying alone. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine, Blaine, especially now. How about that: we’ll get your things and you’ll go home with me. You can stay with us for the weekend and drive to school with me on Monday.”
“Kurt, I can’t… I feel like I’ve intruded on your family long enough. I can’t just go and do it again. It’s enough that I’ve been at your house twice this week.”
“Come on, you’ve never intruded. You were our guest. And now you just feel like part of the family. To them, I mean. If you felt like part of the family to me, it would make this thing between us pretty awkward.”
“Kurt, I know you have to say that to make me feel better, but I don’t want to be a burden.”
Kurt could see the weight of loneliness and distress in the amber eyes. He didn’t know what Blaine was told at home to make him believe he was just a problem nobody needed, but he couldn’t let it sink in any deeper. He grabbed his cell phone, quickly chose a number from quick dial.
“Dad, hi. Blaine is here, so I’ll put you on loudspeaker, could you please tell him exactly what you told me yesterday?”
Burt Hummel’s gruff voice came from the speaker between them.
“Hello, Blaine. I don’t know what it’s about, but I just told Kurt to tell you that we miss you already and if your parents are ever ready to let you out of their sight again or have to go for another business trip, then we want you back here with us, okay? You can stay here whenever you want to, you don’t even have to ask. So what’s this about?”
Kurt answered, because Blaine looked like he was ready to choke on emotions that fought for the lead position in his eyes. Hope, hesitation, relief, fear, gratefulness…
“Blaine’s parents are out of town since yesterday. He’s coming home with me and staying until Monday.”
If his dad was as shocked as he was with the Andersons’ absence, he never let it show. “Great. See you two later then, I’ll tell Carole that there will be one more for dinner. We could use the help, I swear she baked enough lasagna for half an army. She’ll be so happy, she’s been asking about Blaine.”
“Thanks dad, see you in two hours.”
He hung up and looked at Blaine then. “Convinced now? You are no burden, everybody wants you there. We are going to get everything you need and go back to Lima. Unless you honestly prefer to be home alone for the weekend?”
Blaine blinked. “Are you kidding? Of course I’d rather be with you. I can’t even sleep when I’m all alone. Why do you think I’m so exhausted today? I spent half the night watching TV because the nightmares were too much.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I’d have told you to come in a heartbeat.”
“I didn’t want to be…”
“Yeah, yeah, a burden, I get it. But you know what? You’re not. Remember it once and for all. You are not a burden, a trouble or a problem to us, nor will you ever be. And I’m not saying it because I’m nice, or because I love you. I’m not even trying to get in your pants. You’ve heard my dad. They ask about you every day, how you are, when you’re going to come visit. I’m dead serious when I say you’re part of the family now. You’ve been adopted, informally, because apparently we can’t do it for real, but you can’t help it now. So you may as well accept it and let us spoil you.” Kurt took a tissue out of his bag and gave it to his boyfriend, but not before kissing his wet cheek. “And now wipe your face, since it seems to be raining here, and let’s go. Carole’s lasagna is heavenly, even if it’s heavier than I usually eat, and if we’re late, Finn will finish off most of it, no matter how big it is.”
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In the next chapter: Tension