Wrench in the Works
So. Uh. Story time. Will it be finished? Probably not--spamtastic spamfic that may or may not be my excuse to transfer Omi to Furinkan so that Principal Kuno can violate his head.
You know you all wanna see that.
***
He wasn't running.
Running implied there was no easy solution; that he was a coward and couldn't stand up to the problem. And if there was one thing Saotome Ranma was not, it was a coward. Dense, easily-frustrated, not book-savvy, yes. But never cowardly.
Of course, the Saotome secret technique was another school of thought entirely. It meant conveniently stepping back as soon as possible to assess a volatile situation in order to decipher a means of possible victory. It was a desperation maneuver, utilized only in dire situations.
It was running away until you COULD solve the problem, which made him not cowardly in the slightest. Even though, as a collary, not many men would be brave enough to stand up to a Furinkan cooking function run by Akane for their annual culture festival--Ranma was usually man enough, but damnit, Kasumi's breakfast deserved just a little more time to settle in his stomach.
And so did Yoshimori's takoyaki balls.
And Ucchan's okonomiyaki with special sauce.
And the hamburger he was currently chewing on.
So no, he wasn't being cowardly by ducking out of his class booth duties until the afternoon came; he'd go back, smiling and cheerful, and he's have some way to be able to ford the River Styx that Akane called baked sweet potatoes.
He'd also wonder what the heck just hit him in the head. Stuffing the last of the burger in his mouth, he turned the offending flying object back up into the air with a foot, and caught it in his hand, appraising it with a critical eye.
For one, it was small and fluffy, which was probably why his senses weren't ticked off to its presence. A stuffed bunny, pink in color, with a pleasing disposition. It was very pliable, as if tender from numerous hugs, gropes, and glomps.
As another, Ranma turned his head to the sky, quickly scanning to see just where the errant suicidal plush toy could have fallen from. All the windows on the shopping building he was gazing at were mostly closed, which only left the roof.
Unless it was a fallen god or goddess, cursed by someone in heaven and cast down to the mortal plane. Of course, what were the chances of that happening twice in a week?
Ranma shrugged--best way to find out was to investigate. And hey, he might even come up with a solution for Akane's booth evasion--or a suitable excuse to explain his day-long absence.
************************
Wrench in the Works
One fanboy's attempt to intentionally screw over Weiß Kruez
That fanboy being Kenji Murasaki
Who would apologize to Mr. Koyasu and Mrs. Takahashi, but the missus
knows the deal by now, and dude, Sad Aya in Snow. Koyasu owes US apologies.
************************
She almost didn't want to hunt this stupid youma down. He was a pest of a specimen to being with, wrecking the lab and going insane like he did--and he ruined Schoen's best outfit, too! His reaction to the treatments were a lot stronger and more violent than they really had anticipated--and no one had anticipated the stupid person ripping through titanium platting to escape into the morning sun.
Honestly, he should have been grateful! His treatment was helping Papa and Hel with some great notes, after all.
But no, the ingrate had to go stomping into the daylight, and Schreient was forced to mobilize after him to prevent a panic. They'd be hearing it again from Scwartz and that mean old commissioner, on top of everything else.
Of course, that didn't go well, either. A five hour fox hunt, although he made for the ugliest fox Tot had ever seen. Nothing cute, cuddly, or sly about him at all. Just rampant and violent, with a penchant to rip through walls.
It was also kind of peculiar, she pondered, that not many people in the direction he fled to gave it a second thought. Oh, they shrieked, here and there, but mostly they just got out of the way in an orderly fashion and let the monster pass by. How nice and totally weird of them.
Still, it was all a pain. So much trouble caused by nothing of the best intentions. It wasn't as if--
Oh. And there went Rabbi-chan, flying out of her hands and off the building edge.
See, now it was personal. Hurting the security blanket was a no no. Now Tot really WAS going to give him a few new holes to breathe through.
For as long as he could, anyway.
************************
A hop, a skip, and a jump brought the young Saotome to the top of the building, and onto a scene that furthered his theorem about yet another fallen deity. Or, at least, one of the weirder circus practices he'd seen. Four women in questionable wear--at least, questionable in terms of practicality...
Okay, screw that. Those were some damn lame outfits. Really, what were they supposed to be doing? Hiding in broad daylight with outfits so loud and gaudy, no sane person would dare comment on them?
And then there was the big nasty gorilla. Well, if gorillas had horns on their head, and purple fur. And scales over the top half of its back. And extra orifices to breathe out of. Probably some new species straight out of South America. Those holes looked pretty fresh, though, not home-grown.
"So...practicing for the circus, or angels trying to defend a fallen god?"
Normal circumstances state that one should never be distracted from taking on a dangerous task. But morbid curiosity demanded that attention be paid to such an asinine query. So it was as a team that all but one of the four women turned to regard the questioner as if stupidity was a voyeuristic event.
The other was still far too busy trying to provide the gorilla hybrid with more holes.
"... You shouldn't have come up here," the tallest replied, a hefty scowl on her face. Ranma guessed that her french braid was far too tight in the back of her head, which is why she had such a painful scowl.
"Well, maybe. I mean, if you guys are practicin' for an upcomin' show, you should do it somewhere more discreet, right?" He shrugged. "B'sides, I didn't think they used platforms this big under those tents. So you guys lost an animal instead? Need some help getting 'em under control?"
Again, three out of four blinked. That...was almost credible. If it got rid of this pe--
The second tallest, the blond, shot the blue-haired french braid a look. If Ranma were a little more adept at reading female body language, he would have noted the killing promise held in that glare if French Braid had even thought to suggest that yes, they were from a circus. But he was not, so it only looked to him like Blondy was really, really uncomfortable and constipated. He'd probably be, too, if he had to wear that outfit.
"Yes," French Braid replied, completely uncaring of Blondy's constipation. "He did get loose, but you needn't trouble yourself. We've got him." At those words, Blondy began fuming, while the other, almost-as-tall-as-Blondy woman with the boy-cut stopped inching toward him as if she was ready to personally thank him for coming to their assistance. Which was good, because really, he probably should have been thanking them, instead.
"Y'sure? Because he's really workin' over yer other teammate, there."
The third blink in so many moments. Then they all turned back to the shortest of the four, a teal-haired kid, giving the animal many, many more blow holes.
"An really, I don't think that's how yer s'posed to treat your animals. Can't expect them t'follow you when you abuse 'em like that."
French Braid's eye twitched. "He's used to it, believe me. But really, if there's nothing else you can do, I'd suggest leaving. You wouldn't want to spoil our...act, would you?"
Ignoring Constipated Blondy's pained choking, Ranma started casually making his way toward the mad dancing monkey being unwillingly equipped with an air conditioning system. "Nah, don't get to circuses too often. Bad memories."
"Really," French Braid replied again, much more tersely. "We've got this under control, boy. You should just leave--"
"Aaaaaaah! Bad monkey-beast! Now Tot's really mad!"
The tall Not-Blondy tried to flank the monkey and sneak in some kicks, but it had snatched the kid's, Tot, if Ranma was familiar with 3rd person, pointy umbrella of death and was now batting at her with it. Pointed end first.
Or it would have, if someone hadn't snap-kicked it in the jaw.
"Sure y'got it under control, lady?" Ranma asked, foot still extended from the power kick that had just sent the robeast sprawling away from Not-Blondy's reach. The beast got back up quickly, roared, and hurled the umbrella at the pigtailed martial artists. He would have jumped, but Tot was still behind him, in stupified shock of someone suddenly being in the way of the monkey counterattack. So he kicked the makeshift projectile, slightly wincing at the force.
The umbrella, momentum interrupted, was redirected straight up as opposed to its initial missile trajectory. Ranma quickly snagged the handle and studied it. "This thing got an off switch?"
Tot, still somewhat dumbfounded, nodded. "Ah, yes? Heart switch by the handle..."
Ranma nodded, flipped the switch, and noted the monkey was now charging. So he hurled the umbrella back at it, with much more force. With the shuriken in its hide, extra holes, many numerous bruises, and overall stress, its stamina finally gave out, leaving the mad, purple monkey a sleepy, not-going-to-wake-up monkey as soon as the now-non-pointed end of the umbrella met the middle of the space between its eyes.
************************
The idiot had some strength. And was quite fast. But he was, fortunately, an idiot.
For the fourth time in so many minutes, Hel, the blue-haired French Braid, directed a brief glance at Neu, the Not-Blondy, warning her again not to make any moves on the idiot.
"... That wasn't necessary, boy."
The idiot in question shrugged, making his way over to the comatose beast and picking up the umbrella. "You guys were sure doin' a bang up job on your own. Might wanna invest in a better tranquilizer."
Hel wiped the irritation from her face completely. But the scowl remained. "We'll make a note of it. Our operation isn't one that can expend such finances--we had to make due with what we have." Yes, play humble. Let the chauvinistic idiot think what he wants--quicker to get him on his way, unguarded, and THEN take care of him.
"Huh. Can't say I ain't familiar with that story." He handed the umbrella to Tot, who was still a bit flustered and gaping. "Here, lady. Might wanna go for th'head, next time."
"Uh...sure. Tot will remember."
The idiot nodded, apparently pleased with himself, and took to the side of the building's edge. "Anyways, see ya around. Maybe I'll mention yer act t'my friends, they're always up for some fun." He hopped off and disappeared from view.
"I. AM. NOT. A. CIRCUS. PERFORMER."
"Calm yourself, Schoen. We've got bigger things to concern ourselves with. Neu?" Not-Blondy turned from making sure the monkey was going to sleep forever to look at Hel. "Track him, and before he starts running his mouth--"
"Rabbi-chan!"
"Get Rabbi-chan fro--Tot?"
Tot was completely enthralled. In her hands was her special childhood friend, the bunny plush that had gotten her through so many rough times. Where it should have been was over the ledge, as the mutate had knocked it away from Tot, who had been sleeping at the time of the breakout. Which meant--
"That boy must have brought Rabbi-chan back! Tot's going to thank him!"
--that Hel was going to need some aspirin and a dry martini before the sun set on the day. "Fine, Tot. But he can't go on thinking about this circus, got it?"
It was a troubled look that passed Tot's brow, but not one that Hel caught, because she knew that Tot, as well as the others, were sworn and loyal to only one man.
"Tot will. Neu will come with me?"
Neu gave a silent nod, and jumped off the other side of the building, landing in an alleyway. Tot leapt in the direction of the idiot's exit, quickly making after the idiot.
"Anyway, to get rid of this and report back to Masafumi. He'll have to know about today's...." Hel trailed off, looking at her ally and teammate not-so-quietly fuming.
"Schoen?"
"...oesn't LOOK like I perform in a circus? This outfit is nothing like that! I hand-designed it for optimal perfection and beauty!"
Hel refrained from mentioning how fat it made her ass look. "Help me burn the body, already."
************************
You know you all wanna see that.
***
He wasn't running.
Running implied there was no easy solution; that he was a coward and couldn't stand up to the problem. And if there was one thing Saotome Ranma was not, it was a coward. Dense, easily-frustrated, not book-savvy, yes. But never cowardly.
Of course, the Saotome secret technique was another school of thought entirely. It meant conveniently stepping back as soon as possible to assess a volatile situation in order to decipher a means of possible victory. It was a desperation maneuver, utilized only in dire situations.
It was running away until you COULD solve the problem, which made him not cowardly in the slightest. Even though, as a collary, not many men would be brave enough to stand up to a Furinkan cooking function run by Akane for their annual culture festival--Ranma was usually man enough, but damnit, Kasumi's breakfast deserved just a little more time to settle in his stomach.
And so did Yoshimori's takoyaki balls.
And Ucchan's okonomiyaki with special sauce.
And the hamburger he was currently chewing on.
So no, he wasn't being cowardly by ducking out of his class booth duties until the afternoon came; he'd go back, smiling and cheerful, and he's have some way to be able to ford the River Styx that Akane called baked sweet potatoes.
He'd also wonder what the heck just hit him in the head. Stuffing the last of the burger in his mouth, he turned the offending flying object back up into the air with a foot, and caught it in his hand, appraising it with a critical eye.
For one, it was small and fluffy, which was probably why his senses weren't ticked off to its presence. A stuffed bunny, pink in color, with a pleasing disposition. It was very pliable, as if tender from numerous hugs, gropes, and glomps.
As another, Ranma turned his head to the sky, quickly scanning to see just where the errant suicidal plush toy could have fallen from. All the windows on the shopping building he was gazing at were mostly closed, which only left the roof.
Unless it was a fallen god or goddess, cursed by someone in heaven and cast down to the mortal plane. Of course, what were the chances of that happening twice in a week?
Ranma shrugged--best way to find out was to investigate. And hey, he might even come up with a solution for Akane's booth evasion--or a suitable excuse to explain his day-long absence.
************************
Wrench in the Works
One fanboy's attempt to intentionally screw over Weiß Kruez
That fanboy being Kenji Murasaki
Who would apologize to Mr. Koyasu and Mrs. Takahashi, but the missus
knows the deal by now, and dude, Sad Aya in Snow. Koyasu owes US apologies.
************************
She almost didn't want to hunt this stupid youma down. He was a pest of a specimen to being with, wrecking the lab and going insane like he did--and he ruined Schoen's best outfit, too! His reaction to the treatments were a lot stronger and more violent than they really had anticipated--and no one had anticipated the stupid person ripping through titanium platting to escape into the morning sun.
Honestly, he should have been grateful! His treatment was helping Papa and Hel with some great notes, after all.
But no, the ingrate had to go stomping into the daylight, and Schreient was forced to mobilize after him to prevent a panic. They'd be hearing it again from Scwartz and that mean old commissioner, on top of everything else.
Of course, that didn't go well, either. A five hour fox hunt, although he made for the ugliest fox Tot had ever seen. Nothing cute, cuddly, or sly about him at all. Just rampant and violent, with a penchant to rip through walls.
It was also kind of peculiar, she pondered, that not many people in the direction he fled to gave it a second thought. Oh, they shrieked, here and there, but mostly they just got out of the way in an orderly fashion and let the monster pass by. How nice and totally weird of them.
Still, it was all a pain. So much trouble caused by nothing of the best intentions. It wasn't as if--
Oh. And there went Rabbi-chan, flying out of her hands and off the building edge.
See, now it was personal. Hurting the security blanket was a no no. Now Tot really WAS going to give him a few new holes to breathe through.
For as long as he could, anyway.
************************
A hop, a skip, and a jump brought the young Saotome to the top of the building, and onto a scene that furthered his theorem about yet another fallen deity. Or, at least, one of the weirder circus practices he'd seen. Four women in questionable wear--at least, questionable in terms of practicality...
Okay, screw that. Those were some damn lame outfits. Really, what were they supposed to be doing? Hiding in broad daylight with outfits so loud and gaudy, no sane person would dare comment on them?
And then there was the big nasty gorilla. Well, if gorillas had horns on their head, and purple fur. And scales over the top half of its back. And extra orifices to breathe out of. Probably some new species straight out of South America. Those holes looked pretty fresh, though, not home-grown.
"So...practicing for the circus, or angels trying to defend a fallen god?"
Normal circumstances state that one should never be distracted from taking on a dangerous task. But morbid curiosity demanded that attention be paid to such an asinine query. So it was as a team that all but one of the four women turned to regard the questioner as if stupidity was a voyeuristic event.
The other was still far too busy trying to provide the gorilla hybrid with more holes.
"... You shouldn't have come up here," the tallest replied, a hefty scowl on her face. Ranma guessed that her french braid was far too tight in the back of her head, which is why she had such a painful scowl.
"Well, maybe. I mean, if you guys are practicin' for an upcomin' show, you should do it somewhere more discreet, right?" He shrugged. "B'sides, I didn't think they used platforms this big under those tents. So you guys lost an animal instead? Need some help getting 'em under control?"
Again, three out of four blinked. That...was almost credible. If it got rid of this pe--
The second tallest, the blond, shot the blue-haired french braid a look. If Ranma were a little more adept at reading female body language, he would have noted the killing promise held in that glare if French Braid had even thought to suggest that yes, they were from a circus. But he was not, so it only looked to him like Blondy was really, really uncomfortable and constipated. He'd probably be, too, if he had to wear that outfit.
"Yes," French Braid replied, completely uncaring of Blondy's constipation. "He did get loose, but you needn't trouble yourself. We've got him." At those words, Blondy began fuming, while the other, almost-as-tall-as-Blondy woman with the boy-cut stopped inching toward him as if she was ready to personally thank him for coming to their assistance. Which was good, because really, he probably should have been thanking them, instead.
"Y'sure? Because he's really workin' over yer other teammate, there."
The third blink in so many moments. Then they all turned back to the shortest of the four, a teal-haired kid, giving the animal many, many more blow holes.
"An really, I don't think that's how yer s'posed to treat your animals. Can't expect them t'follow you when you abuse 'em like that."
French Braid's eye twitched. "He's used to it, believe me. But really, if there's nothing else you can do, I'd suggest leaving. You wouldn't want to spoil our...act, would you?"
Ignoring Constipated Blondy's pained choking, Ranma started casually making his way toward the mad dancing monkey being unwillingly equipped with an air conditioning system. "Nah, don't get to circuses too often. Bad memories."
"Really," French Braid replied again, much more tersely. "We've got this under control, boy. You should just leave--"
"Aaaaaaah! Bad monkey-beast! Now Tot's really mad!"
The tall Not-Blondy tried to flank the monkey and sneak in some kicks, but it had snatched the kid's, Tot, if Ranma was familiar with 3rd person, pointy umbrella of death and was now batting at her with it. Pointed end first.
Or it would have, if someone hadn't snap-kicked it in the jaw.
"Sure y'got it under control, lady?" Ranma asked, foot still extended from the power kick that had just sent the robeast sprawling away from Not-Blondy's reach. The beast got back up quickly, roared, and hurled the umbrella at the pigtailed martial artists. He would have jumped, but Tot was still behind him, in stupified shock of someone suddenly being in the way of the monkey counterattack. So he kicked the makeshift projectile, slightly wincing at the force.
The umbrella, momentum interrupted, was redirected straight up as opposed to its initial missile trajectory. Ranma quickly snagged the handle and studied it. "This thing got an off switch?"
Tot, still somewhat dumbfounded, nodded. "Ah, yes? Heart switch by the handle..."
Ranma nodded, flipped the switch, and noted the monkey was now charging. So he hurled the umbrella back at it, with much more force. With the shuriken in its hide, extra holes, many numerous bruises, and overall stress, its stamina finally gave out, leaving the mad, purple monkey a sleepy, not-going-to-wake-up monkey as soon as the now-non-pointed end of the umbrella met the middle of the space between its eyes.
************************
The idiot had some strength. And was quite fast. But he was, fortunately, an idiot.
For the fourth time in so many minutes, Hel, the blue-haired French Braid, directed a brief glance at Neu, the Not-Blondy, warning her again not to make any moves on the idiot.
"... That wasn't necessary, boy."
The idiot in question shrugged, making his way over to the comatose beast and picking up the umbrella. "You guys were sure doin' a bang up job on your own. Might wanna invest in a better tranquilizer."
Hel wiped the irritation from her face completely. But the scowl remained. "We'll make a note of it. Our operation isn't one that can expend such finances--we had to make due with what we have." Yes, play humble. Let the chauvinistic idiot think what he wants--quicker to get him on his way, unguarded, and THEN take care of him.
"Huh. Can't say I ain't familiar with that story." He handed the umbrella to Tot, who was still a bit flustered and gaping. "Here, lady. Might wanna go for th'head, next time."
"Uh...sure. Tot will remember."
The idiot nodded, apparently pleased with himself, and took to the side of the building's edge. "Anyways, see ya around. Maybe I'll mention yer act t'my friends, they're always up for some fun." He hopped off and disappeared from view.
"I. AM. NOT. A. CIRCUS. PERFORMER."
"Calm yourself, Schoen. We've got bigger things to concern ourselves with. Neu?" Not-Blondy turned from making sure the monkey was going to sleep forever to look at Hel. "Track him, and before he starts running his mouth--"
"Rabbi-chan!"
"Get Rabbi-chan fro--Tot?"
Tot was completely enthralled. In her hands was her special childhood friend, the bunny plush that had gotten her through so many rough times. Where it should have been was over the ledge, as the mutate had knocked it away from Tot, who had been sleeping at the time of the breakout. Which meant--
"That boy must have brought Rabbi-chan back! Tot's going to thank him!"
--that Hel was going to need some aspirin and a dry martini before the sun set on the day. "Fine, Tot. But he can't go on thinking about this circus, got it?"
It was a troubled look that passed Tot's brow, but not one that Hel caught, because she knew that Tot, as well as the others, were sworn and loyal to only one man.
"Tot will. Neu will come with me?"
Neu gave a silent nod, and jumped off the other side of the building, landing in an alleyway. Tot leapt in the direction of the idiot's exit, quickly making after the idiot.
"Anyway, to get rid of this and report back to Masafumi. He'll have to know about today's...." Hel trailed off, looking at her ally and teammate not-so-quietly fuming.
"Schoen?"
"...oesn't LOOK like I perform in a circus? This outfit is nothing like that! I hand-designed it for optimal perfection and beauty!"
Hel refrained from mentioning how fat it made her ass look. "Help me burn the body, already."
************************