Love's Sorrow Chapter 7
Title: Love's Sorrow
Author: aoi_jihyo
Length: 07/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: Probable m-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
Junsu looked at his family for a second. Yoochun was looking at him, good, he thought.
“I wanted to introduce you to, Youngjae, my boyfriend.”
Jaejoong and Mrs. Kim blushed, was this the man Junsu was having sex with? Probably. Mr. Kim on the other hand raised his eyebrows analyzing the boy. And Yoochun, Yoochun didn’t say a word.
“Boyfriend?” Mrs. Kim broke the icy silence.
Junsu smiled sweetly. “Yes.”
“Good evening, is a pleasure to meet you,” smiled the boy handsomely.
They all decided to take a seat to finally have dinner.
The atmosphere was awkward; Mr. Kim couldn’t stop asking the two boys about their relationship. Junsu thought he was going to go crazy with so many questions, but he was happy in some way. Yoochun couldn’t stop looking at them and Junsu knew that the man was jealous.
He grinned thinking about it.
Youngjae was nice. Mr. Kim really liked him, I mean, yes, he was asking lots of questions, but it was just natural, he was not going to let just a random guy take care of his baby. Junsu was his youngest son and he was going to make sure he protected him from those horny guys that were behind him when the boy was in school. Well, he didn’t know that Junsu was actually the one who would flirt with them.
By the moment Mr. Kim and Youngjae were laughing like if they have known each other for a long time. That annoyed the others a little bit.
“I hope you come visit us some other day, young man,” smiled Mr. Kim shaking the boy’s hand.
“I surely will, Mr. Well, I have to get going, it was a pleasure to meet you all.”
The other family members simply smile. Mrs. Kim wasn’t so sure about the boy; I mean that boy was having intercourse with her son, obviously the woman felt like taking the eyeballs off of his face the moment they met. Jaejoong on the other hand was quite happy for Junsu, but then there was something uncomfortable about the boys, he just couldn’t get a hold on the thought.
“I’ll go with him,” said Junsu waling with the boy.
“Go directly to your apartment and I hope this young man goes to his house, too,” smiled Mr. Kim, although it was obvious what he was implying.
“I’ll sure do, Mr. Kim. You do not have to worry.”
“I’m hoping so.”
After bidding good-bye the two boys finally departed.
Who was they boy? Well, he was a friend from middle school. The boy was now attending college and coincidentally they met again. Junsu knew that they boy has always liked him, so he decided to… use him. Yeah, there was no doubt that was what the boy was doing. He didn’t like anyone but Yoochun; he didn’t want anyone but Yoochun. He wanted Yoochun to realize what his feelings were about his brother, he wanted Yoochun to get jealous and see how much he loved him. But it all was so hard, Yoochun was so stubborn.
In the way back to his apartment Junsu kept his eyes on the beautiful lights outside the car.
“I was really surprise when we met again,” smiled the boy. “It was even more surprising that you actually asked me out.”
Junsu didn’t want to look at the other guy’s face. He was feeling guilty and at the same time he didn’t care. “Yeah…” he simply responded.
Youngjae kept talking about random things, or maybe they weren’t random, but Junsu wasn’t planning to discovered that.
----------
And just like that the days went by.
“Hi, chunnie” Junsu entered with great joy, too joyful for Yoochun’s liking. The oldest man looked up for a second but he soon went back to is reading.
“Working hours are over, aren’t you suppose to be with your boyfriend right now?” Junsu grinned hearing that.
“Are you jealous?”
Yoochun smirked. “Not really. I’m happy to be honest; you won’t be bothering me all the time. You will finally have someone else to fuck with.”
Junsu bit his lower lip. “I’m not with you only because of the sex; I’m with you because I love you.” Yoochun’s laughter then became loud.
“I’m sorry but it seems that we don’t share the same objectives.” Junsu smiled sadly, tears already forming on his eyes. “Just go have fun with him. I’m not in the mood for you.”
But you are never in the mood for me now, thought Junsu.
“Ok, I’ll go with him, but I’ll wait for you tonight, I’ll see you later,” said Junsu as he walked away.
Ok, it didn’t go as Junsu wanted, Yoochun was supposed to get jealous and well, guess Junsu was watching too many dramas.
---------
Jaejoong was really getting worried about Junsu. Once again he found him in the restroom choking on tears. This time though it looked different. This time it wasn’t something physical what was hurting Junsu but emotional.
“Are you ok?” he asked quietly.
Junsu looked at up but Jaejoong didn’t like the way his brother’s eyes glared at him. “I’m fine,” he said angrily and then stormed out of the place.
Jaejoong thought for a second about what just happened. Since he came from America he noticed the hostility on his brother’s attitude. He thought it was only because of the long distance and time, but it had been two years already and Junsu was the same with him. It hurt him so much.
Not only he had to support his husband’s lack of interest, he also needed to support his brother’s.
It was too much.
---------
Junsu was having dinner with Youngjae. After the meeting with Yoochun he decided that distracting himself was not such a bad idea.
“Do you want some ice cream?” smiled the boy. Both guys were holding hands as they walked together.
“No, is too late already.”
“Is never too late for ice cream, you know?”
“I still don’t want, I don’t like ice cream,” Junsu lied.
The other looked at him worriedly. “What do you want to do then?” Junsu’s grin widened.
“Come with me.”
----------
Yoochun didn’t want to see Junsu right now; still he knew that the boy had control over him. He got inside to find Junsu taking his shoes off.
“Chunnie!” greeted the young boy. “Such a coincidence, Chun.” the other man didn’t say a word. “Something wrong?”
“What do you want?” he said coldly.
“Why are you acting so cold, I thought that we have already crossed that line.”
Yoochun tsked at him. “Whatever.”
Junsu was really surprise when Yoochun threw him on the couch, a little bit too harshly.
“Yoochun, wait,” but Yoochun wasn’t paying attention to the boy.
Yoochun didn’t pay attention to Junsu’s pleads for him to slow down. He didn’t listen when the boy said he was hurting him, or when Junsu’s sobbing became audible. He didn’t want to listen to anything.
And Junsu’s body was hurt. He was hurt.
Junsu lied on his bed… alone. Yoochun didn’t even wait to rest a little bit, nor did he shower like most nights. Junsu’s tears fell once again. He didn’t know what to do. Telling Yoochun that he was in love with him wasn’t working. Making him jealous wasn’t working. There was just nothing that the boy could do to make Yoochun fall for him, or so he thought.
He was stubborn, he knew he was wrong, yet he didn’t want to admit it, he was not going to admit it.
----------
Yoochun was driving home. He wasn’t feeling good. He was really tired and… hurt? His pride was hurt; Junsu didn’t need any other guy to satisfy his needs because as a man he couldn’t let that happen. He was enough for the boy. Thinking of those things made him realize something, he knew it, but he didn’t like to think about those things, how much Jaejoong must be suffering? His pride was hurt because Junsu was looking for someone else, he was with Junsu and even though it wasn’t like he wanted to, he was still having sex with him.
Junsu wanted Yoochun to value him more, but at the end it seemed that the only person Yoochun was actually thinking of was Jaejoong. Jaejoong was the victim in all this and Junsu, even Yoochun knew it, Junsu was the whore that came in between the happily married couple. What role was he playing? Was he the bad husband that is cheating on his spouse? Yeah, guess he was.
Looking at Junsu while having sex and discovering those big red marks on his neck and shoulders upset him to no extend. He was feeling guilty now because he had been really harsh on the boy. He didn’t care much about his harsh words towards him, but hurting him physically was something that he never felt proud of. There had been occasions in which he just snapped and Junsu’s body was the one to pay. But wasn’t it fair? It was Junsu the one involving him in all these troubles; it was Junsu the one who have ruined his marriage. Did that make it fair?
Those thoughts were always in his mind. He was human, and like any other human he wanted to find someone else to blame, yes, it was all Junsu’s fault because he was only trying to protect Jaejoong. What was he trying to protect Jaejoong from?
Not wanting to think about those things anymore the man shook his head shaking the problems away.
He opened their home’s door to find Jaejoong waiting for him like always. He smiled. “Were you waiting for a long time?” he asked calmly,
Jaejoong stood up from the couch and smiled. “Not really, you were earlier than other days.”
“I’m really sorry; I was just finishing some things.”
“Is fine, do you want to eat?” Jaejoong was wearing a pink apron, the one Yoochun bought for him when they were living in America. He looked so cute. After asking Yoochun and getting the table ready both of them sat down.
They ate in silence.
---------
Junsu and Youngjae met again like many times.
Junsu took a sip from his strawberry smoothie. Youngjae was sitting in front of him, but Junsu didn’t care. The boy was funny, he was entertaining, yet, Junsu just didn’t care.
He smiled thinking…
“I’m horrible…”
“What?”
Opps, thought Junsu, seems like that came out loud.
Junsu didn’t answer him and simply turned his head to the side.
The boy looked down, he sighed.
---------
Jaejoong held Yoochun’s arm tighter. They were in a date, their first in a really long time. They had gone to the cinema and to eat after that. Now they were walking on a park looking at the beautiful starry night. The eldest man lifted his hand on the air, his palm wide open.
“It looks so happy,” he smiled childishly.
Yoochun looked up. “It looks lonely,” he contradicted his spouse’s words.
“Well… I don’t think so, can’t you see it? Look at all the stars; it must be so nice to have so many companions. They feel so warm, so close to each other, is lovely.”
It made sense. But yet, Yoochun couldn’t see it. Without noticing, there was wetness on his face.
“Why are you crying, Chun?”
Why was he crying?
Not getting a response, Jaejoong simply took Yoochun’s face between his hands and cleaned the drops. “Just cry, ne, I’ll make sure to clean the remains.”
I’ll make sure to clean the remains.
Those words kept hanging in Yoochun’s head.
---------
Junsu stood in front of his apartment’s door. He stared at the silver door knob giving his back to Youngjae.
“Why did you accept my offer?” Youngjae’s sad face was the result of his words. “You know I don’t love you, right?”
“I know. Ever since we were in middle school I liked you. You were always so pretty, always so bright and joyful, it was impossible for me not to fall for you. I was really sad when you changed and I always wondered what I could do for you.”
“I didn’t change,” whispered the youngest boy.
“You did, even if no one else could see it, I could. I did see you inside that cage that you created around yourself. I wanted to erase the pain… but, by the moment I was brave enough to do it I was nothing. It was impossible for me to reach you. I’m sorry.”
Junsu’s throat was burning. His chest was burning.
“Don’t.”
Tears fell down.
“Don’t act like you know me.”
And the door closed as fast as it was opened.
Changing? There was no reason for Junsu to change? Again, he didn’t have an excuse for that. It just happened, without Junsu noticing it just happened. He left lots of his friends behind. He just became to not care about school or anything related anymore. Why? That he didn’t know.
He wanted and excuse, maybe that way Yoochun wouldn’t think of him the way he was thinking. Maybe that way Yoochun would pity him.
But was pity what he was looking for?
Chapter 8
A/N: Barely finish xD anyways, as you can see I usually update fridays... ok, don't have many things to tell you this time but DID YOU LISTEN TO TABLO'S NEW SONGS!!! OMG, SUN THEY ARE EPIC!
ok, that was me spazzing, now I'm off
Author: aoi_jihyo
Length: 07/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: Probable m-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
Junsu looked at his family for a second. Yoochun was looking at him, good, he thought.
“I wanted to introduce you to, Youngjae, my boyfriend.”
Jaejoong and Mrs. Kim blushed, was this the man Junsu was having sex with? Probably. Mr. Kim on the other hand raised his eyebrows analyzing the boy. And Yoochun, Yoochun didn’t say a word.
“Boyfriend?” Mrs. Kim broke the icy silence.
Junsu smiled sweetly. “Yes.”
“Good evening, is a pleasure to meet you,” smiled the boy handsomely.
They all decided to take a seat to finally have dinner.
The atmosphere was awkward; Mr. Kim couldn’t stop asking the two boys about their relationship. Junsu thought he was going to go crazy with so many questions, but he was happy in some way. Yoochun couldn’t stop looking at them and Junsu knew that the man was jealous.
He grinned thinking about it.
Youngjae was nice. Mr. Kim really liked him, I mean, yes, he was asking lots of questions, but it was just natural, he was not going to let just a random guy take care of his baby. Junsu was his youngest son and he was going to make sure he protected him from those horny guys that were behind him when the boy was in school. Well, he didn’t know that Junsu was actually the one who would flirt with them.
By the moment Mr. Kim and Youngjae were laughing like if they have known each other for a long time. That annoyed the others a little bit.
“I hope you come visit us some other day, young man,” smiled Mr. Kim shaking the boy’s hand.
“I surely will, Mr. Well, I have to get going, it was a pleasure to meet you all.”
The other family members simply smile. Mrs. Kim wasn’t so sure about the boy; I mean that boy was having intercourse with her son, obviously the woman felt like taking the eyeballs off of his face the moment they met. Jaejoong on the other hand was quite happy for Junsu, but then there was something uncomfortable about the boys, he just couldn’t get a hold on the thought.
“I’ll go with him,” said Junsu waling with the boy.
“Go directly to your apartment and I hope this young man goes to his house, too,” smiled Mr. Kim, although it was obvious what he was implying.
“I’ll sure do, Mr. Kim. You do not have to worry.”
“I’m hoping so.”
After bidding good-bye the two boys finally departed.
Who was they boy? Well, he was a friend from middle school. The boy was now attending college and coincidentally they met again. Junsu knew that they boy has always liked him, so he decided to… use him. Yeah, there was no doubt that was what the boy was doing. He didn’t like anyone but Yoochun; he didn’t want anyone but Yoochun. He wanted Yoochun to realize what his feelings were about his brother, he wanted Yoochun to get jealous and see how much he loved him. But it all was so hard, Yoochun was so stubborn.
In the way back to his apartment Junsu kept his eyes on the beautiful lights outside the car.
“I was really surprise when we met again,” smiled the boy. “It was even more surprising that you actually asked me out.”
Junsu didn’t want to look at the other guy’s face. He was feeling guilty and at the same time he didn’t care. “Yeah…” he simply responded.
Youngjae kept talking about random things, or maybe they weren’t random, but Junsu wasn’t planning to discovered that.
----------
And just like that the days went by.
“Hi, chunnie” Junsu entered with great joy, too joyful for Yoochun’s liking. The oldest man looked up for a second but he soon went back to is reading.
“Working hours are over, aren’t you suppose to be with your boyfriend right now?” Junsu grinned hearing that.
“Are you jealous?”
Yoochun smirked. “Not really. I’m happy to be honest; you won’t be bothering me all the time. You will finally have someone else to fuck with.”
Junsu bit his lower lip. “I’m not with you only because of the sex; I’m with you because I love you.” Yoochun’s laughter then became loud.
“I’m sorry but it seems that we don’t share the same objectives.” Junsu smiled sadly, tears already forming on his eyes. “Just go have fun with him. I’m not in the mood for you.”
But you are never in the mood for me now, thought Junsu.
“Ok, I’ll go with him, but I’ll wait for you tonight, I’ll see you later,” said Junsu as he walked away.
Ok, it didn’t go as Junsu wanted, Yoochun was supposed to get jealous and well, guess Junsu was watching too many dramas.
---------
Jaejoong was really getting worried about Junsu. Once again he found him in the restroom choking on tears. This time though it looked different. This time it wasn’t something physical what was hurting Junsu but emotional.
“Are you ok?” he asked quietly.
Junsu looked at up but Jaejoong didn’t like the way his brother’s eyes glared at him. “I’m fine,” he said angrily and then stormed out of the place.
Jaejoong thought for a second about what just happened. Since he came from America he noticed the hostility on his brother’s attitude. He thought it was only because of the long distance and time, but it had been two years already and Junsu was the same with him. It hurt him so much.
Not only he had to support his husband’s lack of interest, he also needed to support his brother’s.
It was too much.
---------
Junsu was having dinner with Youngjae. After the meeting with Yoochun he decided that distracting himself was not such a bad idea.
“Do you want some ice cream?” smiled the boy. Both guys were holding hands as they walked together.
“No, is too late already.”
“Is never too late for ice cream, you know?”
“I still don’t want, I don’t like ice cream,” Junsu lied.
The other looked at him worriedly. “What do you want to do then?” Junsu’s grin widened.
“Come with me.”
----------
Yoochun didn’t want to see Junsu right now; still he knew that the boy had control over him. He got inside to find Junsu taking his shoes off.
“Chunnie!” greeted the young boy. “Such a coincidence, Chun.” the other man didn’t say a word. “Something wrong?”
“What do you want?” he said coldly.
“Why are you acting so cold, I thought that we have already crossed that line.”
Yoochun tsked at him. “Whatever.”
Junsu was really surprise when Yoochun threw him on the couch, a little bit too harshly.
“Yoochun, wait,” but Yoochun wasn’t paying attention to the boy.
Yoochun didn’t pay attention to Junsu’s pleads for him to slow down. He didn’t listen when the boy said he was hurting him, or when Junsu’s sobbing became audible. He didn’t want to listen to anything.
And Junsu’s body was hurt. He was hurt.
Junsu lied on his bed… alone. Yoochun didn’t even wait to rest a little bit, nor did he shower like most nights. Junsu’s tears fell once again. He didn’t know what to do. Telling Yoochun that he was in love with him wasn’t working. Making him jealous wasn’t working. There was just nothing that the boy could do to make Yoochun fall for him, or so he thought.
He was stubborn, he knew he was wrong, yet he didn’t want to admit it, he was not going to admit it.
----------
Yoochun was driving home. He wasn’t feeling good. He was really tired and… hurt? His pride was hurt; Junsu didn’t need any other guy to satisfy his needs because as a man he couldn’t let that happen. He was enough for the boy. Thinking of those things made him realize something, he knew it, but he didn’t like to think about those things, how much Jaejoong must be suffering? His pride was hurt because Junsu was looking for someone else, he was with Junsu and even though it wasn’t like he wanted to, he was still having sex with him.
Junsu wanted Yoochun to value him more, but at the end it seemed that the only person Yoochun was actually thinking of was Jaejoong. Jaejoong was the victim in all this and Junsu, even Yoochun knew it, Junsu was the whore that came in between the happily married couple. What role was he playing? Was he the bad husband that is cheating on his spouse? Yeah, guess he was.
Looking at Junsu while having sex and discovering those big red marks on his neck and shoulders upset him to no extend. He was feeling guilty now because he had been really harsh on the boy. He didn’t care much about his harsh words towards him, but hurting him physically was something that he never felt proud of. There had been occasions in which he just snapped and Junsu’s body was the one to pay. But wasn’t it fair? It was Junsu the one involving him in all these troubles; it was Junsu the one who have ruined his marriage. Did that make it fair?
Those thoughts were always in his mind. He was human, and like any other human he wanted to find someone else to blame, yes, it was all Junsu’s fault because he was only trying to protect Jaejoong. What was he trying to protect Jaejoong from?
Not wanting to think about those things anymore the man shook his head shaking the problems away.
He opened their home’s door to find Jaejoong waiting for him like always. He smiled. “Were you waiting for a long time?” he asked calmly,
Jaejoong stood up from the couch and smiled. “Not really, you were earlier than other days.”
“I’m really sorry; I was just finishing some things.”
“Is fine, do you want to eat?” Jaejoong was wearing a pink apron, the one Yoochun bought for him when they were living in America. He looked so cute. After asking Yoochun and getting the table ready both of them sat down.
They ate in silence.
---------
Junsu and Youngjae met again like many times.
Junsu took a sip from his strawberry smoothie. Youngjae was sitting in front of him, but Junsu didn’t care. The boy was funny, he was entertaining, yet, Junsu just didn’t care.
He smiled thinking…
“I’m horrible…”
“What?”
Opps, thought Junsu, seems like that came out loud.
Junsu didn’t answer him and simply turned his head to the side.
The boy looked down, he sighed.
---------
Jaejoong held Yoochun’s arm tighter. They were in a date, their first in a really long time. They had gone to the cinema and to eat after that. Now they were walking on a park looking at the beautiful starry night. The eldest man lifted his hand on the air, his palm wide open.
“It looks so happy,” he smiled childishly.
Yoochun looked up. “It looks lonely,” he contradicted his spouse’s words.
“Well… I don’t think so, can’t you see it? Look at all the stars; it must be so nice to have so many companions. They feel so warm, so close to each other, is lovely.”
It made sense. But yet, Yoochun couldn’t see it. Without noticing, there was wetness on his face.
“Why are you crying, Chun?”
Why was he crying?
Not getting a response, Jaejoong simply took Yoochun’s face between his hands and cleaned the drops. “Just cry, ne, I’ll make sure to clean the remains.”
I’ll make sure to clean the remains.
Those words kept hanging in Yoochun’s head.
---------
Junsu stood in front of his apartment’s door. He stared at the silver door knob giving his back to Youngjae.
“Why did you accept my offer?” Youngjae’s sad face was the result of his words. “You know I don’t love you, right?”
“I know. Ever since we were in middle school I liked you. You were always so pretty, always so bright and joyful, it was impossible for me not to fall for you. I was really sad when you changed and I always wondered what I could do for you.”
“I didn’t change,” whispered the youngest boy.
“You did, even if no one else could see it, I could. I did see you inside that cage that you created around yourself. I wanted to erase the pain… but, by the moment I was brave enough to do it I was nothing. It was impossible for me to reach you. I’m sorry.”
Junsu’s throat was burning. His chest was burning.
“Don’t.”
Tears fell down.
“Don’t act like you know me.”
And the door closed as fast as it was opened.
Changing? There was no reason for Junsu to change? Again, he didn’t have an excuse for that. It just happened, without Junsu noticing it just happened. He left lots of his friends behind. He just became to not care about school or anything related anymore. Why? That he didn’t know.
He wanted and excuse, maybe that way Yoochun wouldn’t think of him the way he was thinking. Maybe that way Yoochun would pity him.
But was pity what he was looking for?
Chapter 8
A/N: Barely finish xD anyways, as you can see I usually update fridays... ok, don't have many things to tell you this time but DID YOU LISTEN TO TABLO'S NEW SONGS!!! OMG, SUN THEY ARE EPIC!
ok, that was me spazzing, now I'm off