Love's Sorrow Chapter 10
Title: Love's Sorrow
Author: aoi_jihyo
Beta: shine_xd
Length: 10/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: Probable m-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
Yoochun walked inside the hospital room. He wasn’t feeling well at the moment, well, he was there because Jaejoong, his husband hadn’t been feeling well, and so for instant he wasn’t feeling well either.
Jaejoong looked at him a little bit ashamed and it’s just that he knew this was his fault, if just he had taken better care of himself. Well, it wasn’t all bad though, yes it had been an accident but he was happy that Yoochun was there with him and that the man was spoiling him so much at the moment.
“Are you sure you are alright?” asked Yoochun with a worried tone.
Jaejoong smiled. “Yes, I already told you, I can handle it.”
The other guy simply nodded not wanting to scold Jaejoong for doing this. Forgetting about that, Yoochun sat beside his spouse so he could have a better access to his head so he could kiss his forehead.
Suddenly Mrs. Kim came inside the room without knocking the door. When she heard that his son was in the hospital she had come right away. Mr. Kim was still working and so was Junsu.
“Are you ok, baby? Oh my god! What happened?” she asked sitting next to Jaejoong.
“I’m fine, mom, and nothing happened. I wasn’t paying attention and a fell from the stairs. Not a big deal.”
“How can you say that? I don’t know what I would do if something was to happen to my poor baby.”
“But I’m fine, mom, the doctor said that I just needed to rest a little bit.”
“Didn’t you break anything?”“No I didn’t. I’m just really sore. But I told you, I will be fine.”
Mrs. Kim nodded her head. She was really worried but really relived that nothing had happened to her baby. She then went on to tell the boys about the party her friend was hosting. She was really excited but she kept saying that the other woman was a whore and she knew that she only wanted attention. Jaejoong only laughed and asked her if that woman was really her friend, for what his mom replied with a yes.
“She is actually my best friend since elementary school.”
---------
Jaejoong finally got to go home. Again he was really happy that Yoochun was paying him attention. Everyday his husband would come home early and help with make dinner. He would also help him bath, it was not that he wasn’t able to do it by his own but he liked the attention.
“Let’s get ready for the party, honey,” said Jaejoong undressing.
Yoochun smirked. “Well, you want me to get ready? Because what you are doing right now will do just the opposite.”
Jaejoong’s giggles were heard from the bathroom. “Just come and bath with me, ne.”
“Ok, I do whatever you tell me to do.”
And after a long bath, the boys were finally ready to go to the party. It didn’t sound like a really nice idea, but Jaejoong wanted to finally go out a little bit since Yoochun was being way too overprotective. But what could he said, he did like that part of Yoochun.
---------
“JUNSU!” a loud shout was heard through practically the entire apartment complex.
“I’M GOING! YOU ARE SO BOSSY!” was the replied that came from Junsu’s mouth.
Junsu and Junho were also getting ready for the party. Junsu was working really hard on himself because duh, he wanted to look nice for Yoochun. He had gone to visit his hyung to the hospital but aside from that that was the last time he had seen Yoochun, well, also in the company but they never talked. Yoochun probably didn’t even notice him. Yes he was jealous. He knew that his brother had been sick, but he still wanted Yoochun to pay a little bit of attention to him.
Thinking about that the boy pouted. I’m being too selfish, he thought.
“You are always selfish, can we just go?”
“Did I say that out loud?”
“Yes you did. Now let’s go.”
Junsu shrugged and got inside his friend’s car.
---------
In the party there were people Junsu had never seen in his life, not that he cared anyways. The only face he was looking for was beside his brother having some wine. He pouted again.
“Is there something wrong?” asked Junho wondering why his friend had that look on his face. “You haven’t taken your eyes from your brother.”
Junsu laughed. Well, he wasn’t looking at his brother that was for sure. “I just wanted to go say hi to them,” he smiled again.
Without saying anything else the boy walked towards them. Junho shook his head deciding to go and have some wine himself.
“Hi!” greeted Junsu with a smile on his face.
Yoochun’s grin faded. Jaejoong on the other hand smiled wider looking at his brother and waving his hand even though Junsu was already in front of them.
“You look really pretty today, Junsu. Is Youngjae coming later and that’s why you are looking so stunning?”
Junsu bit his lower lip. “We broke up, hyung.”
“Ah… I’m sorry I didn’t know that,” he was feeling guilty for asking Junsu about his ex-boyfriend now. “Are you ok?”
“Yes I’m fine, hyung. There is absolutely nothing to worry about.”
“But why did you break up? Did something happen?”
“Well, hyung. Do you remember that phone call that I made by accident?” Jaejoong nodded. “Well, it wasn’t Youngjae I was with back then.” Jaejoong’s face at the moment looked completely shocked, so did Yoochun’s.
“I… I am so sorry, Junsu. So it was my fault that you two broke up? I should have just stayed quiet. I’m sorry,” the eldest boy looked really sorry, it made Junsu felt bad.
“There is nothing to be sorry for. I actually think that was the best. Youngjae was a really good friend, but that was it.”
“Still I’m sorry.”
At that moment Mrs. Kim came looking for Jaejoong. She said that there were some friends of her wanting to meet his son and she was about to take Yoochun with her but the man refused, he said that he wanted to use the bathroom.
Well, Junsu had to take the opportunity.
So Jaejoong and his mother went to greet those people while Yoochun walked to the restroom.
Yoochun washed his hands looking at himself through the mirror. Junsu smiled looking at his lover. Yes, Yoochun was his lover and that was something that no one would change his mind about.
“Hi,” he said shyly. He still remembered what had happened the last time they saw each other. It was still sad to think about, but Junsu was not going to let that change his attitude towards Yoochun.
“What do you want?” asked Yoochun. He didn’t ask in a mad tone, for what Junsu smiled.
“I just wanted to say hi, it had been so long since the last time I saw you. That’s why.”
“We are in a party, with lots of people that know us, don’t act childishly now, Junsu.”
The latter pouted at the man’s words. “I know I just… I wanted to see you, that’s all,” he rested his back on the main door. “Can you just give a kiss? A really quick kiss, please!”
Yoochun looked at the door, he then sighed.
With short steps he embraced Junsu’s body caressing his cheek. They spent long second looking into each other’s eyes. Junsu tried to smile, but he couldn’t. There was a strange feeling inside of him because he knew that even though Yoochun was there with him, he wasn’t his. Yoochun was feeling the same. Being so close to Junsu and still not being able to have the boy. He shook those thoughts away, as always.
With gently movements their lips landed on each others. Just a short, small kiss.
Before losing themselves, they walked out the restroom. Jaejoong saw them and walked towards them when both guys were in front of the small bar.
----------
After the party things weren’t the same anymore. Yoochun chuckled at the thought, who was he trying to fool? Things weren’t the same since long time ago. He was tired. He was so tired of lying all the time. He was lying to Jaejoong. He was lying to Junsu. He was lying to himself.
How long was he going to keep on lying?
But… he needed it.
Telling a lie was easier than telling the truth. He shook his head, no, telling the truth was easier; lying was so hard, just too hard.
Lying kill you from inside out. Lying… lying to the people whom he loved the most was the hardest.
He thought about it some more minutes. Sometimes he felt that lying was easy but… lying was easy to do, it wasn’t easy to live with, though. Telling the truth was something that needed more courage at the moment, but once it was over, things would go smoother.
Jaejoong walked out the bathroom, brushing his hair.
His depression had come back again. He hated it. Feeling this way was so… terrifying. It was like a big heavy stone pressed over your chest. You would hold it sometimes and try to push it away but… sooner or later it would crash over once again. Those were the moments he felt that even breathing was so hard, just too much work to do.
Yoochun smiled at him; tiredly, he noticed. He smiled back, or he tried to.
It was really amusing, the way things have turned out. Thinking on the days when he met Yoochun, it was just too hard to believe that they had become like that.
“Good night,” he whispered pulling the blanket over his body. The weather was getting colder, too cold.
---------
Junsu fell on the floor losing his balance after the slap. He looked up to find Yoochun’s teary and furious eyes. He felt ashamed. There was flood on the floor and over his cloths. He, he just wanted to forget. He didn’t mean to hurt Yoochun. He would never hurt Yoochun.
But, he had already hurt him many times, thought Junsu.
“Why are you doing this?” asked Yoochun cleaning away his tears. He walked to the kitchen where the first aid kit was at. “Why?” he repeated as he walked back inside the living room.
Junsu couldn’t respond. He let Yoochun clean the dripping blood from his wrist.
“TELL ME!”
Junsu’s tears fell. He was frightened by Yoochun’s outburst, but more than anything he was ashamed, so ashamed of himself.
“Was it because of me?” he saw the fear on Yoochun’s eyes.
No, he tried to say but no sound would come out.
“No,” came out after a huge effort.
“Then why?” by the moment, Yoochun was already bandaging his wrist.
Junsu looked at the dark apartment.
“I was just feeling stress out. I just… I just wanted to, to… please forgive me.”
Yoochun closed his eyes. He was so frustrated, he wanted to shout and hit Junsu again if necessary. He hugged the younger boy.
“Don’t do this again do you hear me? Junsu, I will kill you if this repeats one more time.”
“I’m sorry.”
Yoochun didn’t want to forgive Junsu so easily. He didn’t want to let the boy think that he could do these types of things and simply have him forgive him. But he was too scared. Why? Why was he so connected with such a brat? Why was he so stupid to feel this way?
Those thoughts were on his head for long minutes. He didn’t notice till Junsu’s weigh was completely over him. The boy had fallen asleep. Standing up he took Junsu to his room and slept beside the boy.
----------
That day, Yoochun didn’t know why he did it. He was at home alone, Jaejoong was with his mother shopping, they were going to take a long time, they told him.
He shouldn’t have opened the door. Junsu was there, the boy was there smiling cutely as always.
Junsu said that he wanted to talk about something important. He said that finally he was getting a promotion and he was too happy he couldn’t wait to tell him. Yoochun said that he could have just called him so he could go see him at his apartment. But then he remembered that he left his phone in his office and his home phone wasn’t working properly for what they were waiting for it to be repair.
And he told him to come in, Junsu did.
And things just went out of hands. Junsu was there, so beautiful as always. They kissed and before they knew it they were on the main bedroom undressing each other.
Having sex with Junsu inside his and Jaejoong’s bedroom was something Yoochun would never forgive himself about. But making Jaejoong suffered as he did… he wanted to shot himself.
He looked outside the house through the window, looking at the crying Junsu trying to put his cloths back on.
Then, he looked at his crying husband, sitting on the floor, looking at his bloody hands. Junsu’s blood.
Fuck, he thought.
Chapter 11
A/N: OMG, SUN! finally! I want to thank shine_xd for helping me out, can you people believe that she told me it wasn't necessary to give her credit for the work, you silly. Anyways, I hope that you liked the chapter and I'll update the next one the same day ^^
Author: aoi_jihyo
Beta: shine_xd
Length: 10/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: Probable m-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
Yoochun walked inside the hospital room. He wasn’t feeling well at the moment, well, he was there because Jaejoong, his husband hadn’t been feeling well, and so for instant he wasn’t feeling well either.
Jaejoong looked at him a little bit ashamed and it’s just that he knew this was his fault, if just he had taken better care of himself. Well, it wasn’t all bad though, yes it had been an accident but he was happy that Yoochun was there with him and that the man was spoiling him so much at the moment.
“Are you sure you are alright?” asked Yoochun with a worried tone.
Jaejoong smiled. “Yes, I already told you, I can handle it.”
The other guy simply nodded not wanting to scold Jaejoong for doing this. Forgetting about that, Yoochun sat beside his spouse so he could have a better access to his head so he could kiss his forehead.
Suddenly Mrs. Kim came inside the room without knocking the door. When she heard that his son was in the hospital she had come right away. Mr. Kim was still working and so was Junsu.
“Are you ok, baby? Oh my god! What happened?” she asked sitting next to Jaejoong.
“I’m fine, mom, and nothing happened. I wasn’t paying attention and a fell from the stairs. Not a big deal.”
“How can you say that? I don’t know what I would do if something was to happen to my poor baby.”
“But I’m fine, mom, the doctor said that I just needed to rest a little bit.”
“Didn’t you break anything?”“No I didn’t. I’m just really sore. But I told you, I will be fine.”
Mrs. Kim nodded her head. She was really worried but really relived that nothing had happened to her baby. She then went on to tell the boys about the party her friend was hosting. She was really excited but she kept saying that the other woman was a whore and she knew that she only wanted attention. Jaejoong only laughed and asked her if that woman was really her friend, for what his mom replied with a yes.
“She is actually my best friend since elementary school.”
---------
Jaejoong finally got to go home. Again he was really happy that Yoochun was paying him attention. Everyday his husband would come home early and help with make dinner. He would also help him bath, it was not that he wasn’t able to do it by his own but he liked the attention.
“Let’s get ready for the party, honey,” said Jaejoong undressing.
Yoochun smirked. “Well, you want me to get ready? Because what you are doing right now will do just the opposite.”
Jaejoong’s giggles were heard from the bathroom. “Just come and bath with me, ne.”
“Ok, I do whatever you tell me to do.”
And after a long bath, the boys were finally ready to go to the party. It didn’t sound like a really nice idea, but Jaejoong wanted to finally go out a little bit since Yoochun was being way too overprotective. But what could he said, he did like that part of Yoochun.
---------
“JUNSU!” a loud shout was heard through practically the entire apartment complex.
“I’M GOING! YOU ARE SO BOSSY!” was the replied that came from Junsu’s mouth.
Junsu and Junho were also getting ready for the party. Junsu was working really hard on himself because duh, he wanted to look nice for Yoochun. He had gone to visit his hyung to the hospital but aside from that that was the last time he had seen Yoochun, well, also in the company but they never talked. Yoochun probably didn’t even notice him. Yes he was jealous. He knew that his brother had been sick, but he still wanted Yoochun to pay a little bit of attention to him.
Thinking about that the boy pouted. I’m being too selfish, he thought.
“You are always selfish, can we just go?”
“Did I say that out loud?”
“Yes you did. Now let’s go.”
Junsu shrugged and got inside his friend’s car.
---------
In the party there were people Junsu had never seen in his life, not that he cared anyways. The only face he was looking for was beside his brother having some wine. He pouted again.
“Is there something wrong?” asked Junho wondering why his friend had that look on his face. “You haven’t taken your eyes from your brother.”
Junsu laughed. Well, he wasn’t looking at his brother that was for sure. “I just wanted to go say hi to them,” he smiled again.
Without saying anything else the boy walked towards them. Junho shook his head deciding to go and have some wine himself.
“Hi!” greeted Junsu with a smile on his face.
Yoochun’s grin faded. Jaejoong on the other hand smiled wider looking at his brother and waving his hand even though Junsu was already in front of them.
“You look really pretty today, Junsu. Is Youngjae coming later and that’s why you are looking so stunning?”
Junsu bit his lower lip. “We broke up, hyung.”
“Ah… I’m sorry I didn’t know that,” he was feeling guilty for asking Junsu about his ex-boyfriend now. “Are you ok?”
“Yes I’m fine, hyung. There is absolutely nothing to worry about.”
“But why did you break up? Did something happen?”
“Well, hyung. Do you remember that phone call that I made by accident?” Jaejoong nodded. “Well, it wasn’t Youngjae I was with back then.” Jaejoong’s face at the moment looked completely shocked, so did Yoochun’s.
“I… I am so sorry, Junsu. So it was my fault that you two broke up? I should have just stayed quiet. I’m sorry,” the eldest boy looked really sorry, it made Junsu felt bad.
“There is nothing to be sorry for. I actually think that was the best. Youngjae was a really good friend, but that was it.”
“Still I’m sorry.”
At that moment Mrs. Kim came looking for Jaejoong. She said that there were some friends of her wanting to meet his son and she was about to take Yoochun with her but the man refused, he said that he wanted to use the bathroom.
Well, Junsu had to take the opportunity.
So Jaejoong and his mother went to greet those people while Yoochun walked to the restroom.
Yoochun washed his hands looking at himself through the mirror. Junsu smiled looking at his lover. Yes, Yoochun was his lover and that was something that no one would change his mind about.
“Hi,” he said shyly. He still remembered what had happened the last time they saw each other. It was still sad to think about, but Junsu was not going to let that change his attitude towards Yoochun.
“What do you want?” asked Yoochun. He didn’t ask in a mad tone, for what Junsu smiled.
“I just wanted to say hi, it had been so long since the last time I saw you. That’s why.”
“We are in a party, with lots of people that know us, don’t act childishly now, Junsu.”
The latter pouted at the man’s words. “I know I just… I wanted to see you, that’s all,” he rested his back on the main door. “Can you just give a kiss? A really quick kiss, please!”
Yoochun looked at the door, he then sighed.
With short steps he embraced Junsu’s body caressing his cheek. They spent long second looking into each other’s eyes. Junsu tried to smile, but he couldn’t. There was a strange feeling inside of him because he knew that even though Yoochun was there with him, he wasn’t his. Yoochun was feeling the same. Being so close to Junsu and still not being able to have the boy. He shook those thoughts away, as always.
With gently movements their lips landed on each others. Just a short, small kiss.
Before losing themselves, they walked out the restroom. Jaejoong saw them and walked towards them when both guys were in front of the small bar.
----------
After the party things weren’t the same anymore. Yoochun chuckled at the thought, who was he trying to fool? Things weren’t the same since long time ago. He was tired. He was so tired of lying all the time. He was lying to Jaejoong. He was lying to Junsu. He was lying to himself.
How long was he going to keep on lying?
But… he needed it.
Telling a lie was easier than telling the truth. He shook his head, no, telling the truth was easier; lying was so hard, just too hard.
Lying kill you from inside out. Lying… lying to the people whom he loved the most was the hardest.
He thought about it some more minutes. Sometimes he felt that lying was easy but… lying was easy to do, it wasn’t easy to live with, though. Telling the truth was something that needed more courage at the moment, but once it was over, things would go smoother.
Jaejoong walked out the bathroom, brushing his hair.
His depression had come back again. He hated it. Feeling this way was so… terrifying. It was like a big heavy stone pressed over your chest. You would hold it sometimes and try to push it away but… sooner or later it would crash over once again. Those were the moments he felt that even breathing was so hard, just too much work to do.
Yoochun smiled at him; tiredly, he noticed. He smiled back, or he tried to.
It was really amusing, the way things have turned out. Thinking on the days when he met Yoochun, it was just too hard to believe that they had become like that.
“Good night,” he whispered pulling the blanket over his body. The weather was getting colder, too cold.
---------
Junsu fell on the floor losing his balance after the slap. He looked up to find Yoochun’s teary and furious eyes. He felt ashamed. There was flood on the floor and over his cloths. He, he just wanted to forget. He didn’t mean to hurt Yoochun. He would never hurt Yoochun.
But, he had already hurt him many times, thought Junsu.
“Why are you doing this?” asked Yoochun cleaning away his tears. He walked to the kitchen where the first aid kit was at. “Why?” he repeated as he walked back inside the living room.
Junsu couldn’t respond. He let Yoochun clean the dripping blood from his wrist.
“TELL ME!”
Junsu’s tears fell. He was frightened by Yoochun’s outburst, but more than anything he was ashamed, so ashamed of himself.
“Was it because of me?” he saw the fear on Yoochun’s eyes.
No, he tried to say but no sound would come out.
“No,” came out after a huge effort.
“Then why?” by the moment, Yoochun was already bandaging his wrist.
Junsu looked at the dark apartment.
“I was just feeling stress out. I just… I just wanted to, to… please forgive me.”
Yoochun closed his eyes. He was so frustrated, he wanted to shout and hit Junsu again if necessary. He hugged the younger boy.
“Don’t do this again do you hear me? Junsu, I will kill you if this repeats one more time.”
“I’m sorry.”
Yoochun didn’t want to forgive Junsu so easily. He didn’t want to let the boy think that he could do these types of things and simply have him forgive him. But he was too scared. Why? Why was he so connected with such a brat? Why was he so stupid to feel this way?
Those thoughts were on his head for long minutes. He didn’t notice till Junsu’s weigh was completely over him. The boy had fallen asleep. Standing up he took Junsu to his room and slept beside the boy.
----------
That day, Yoochun didn’t know why he did it. He was at home alone, Jaejoong was with his mother shopping, they were going to take a long time, they told him.
He shouldn’t have opened the door. Junsu was there, the boy was there smiling cutely as always.
Junsu said that he wanted to talk about something important. He said that finally he was getting a promotion and he was too happy he couldn’t wait to tell him. Yoochun said that he could have just called him so he could go see him at his apartment. But then he remembered that he left his phone in his office and his home phone wasn’t working properly for what they were waiting for it to be repair.
And he told him to come in, Junsu did.
And things just went out of hands. Junsu was there, so beautiful as always. They kissed and before they knew it they were on the main bedroom undressing each other.
Having sex with Junsu inside his and Jaejoong’s bedroom was something Yoochun would never forgive himself about. But making Jaejoong suffered as he did… he wanted to shot himself.
He looked outside the house through the window, looking at the crying Junsu trying to put his cloths back on.
Then, he looked at his crying husband, sitting on the floor, looking at his bloody hands. Junsu’s blood.
Fuck, he thought.
Chapter 11
A/N: OMG, SUN! finally! I want to thank shine_xd for helping me out, can you people believe that she told me it wasn't necessary to give her credit for the work, you silly. Anyways, I hope that you liked the chapter and I'll update the next one the same day ^^