Love's Sorrow Chapter 15
Title: Love's Sorrow
Author: aoi_jihyo
Beta: shine_xd
Length: 15/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: M-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
“You should go and buy it yourself,” said the mentioned as he opened the door to the apartment. His voice was tired but carefree.
“You are mean; you only need to buy it for me. I’m giving you the money for it. You know I have to work in the morning.”
“Whatever you should…” the voice became less audible by the seconds. Soon two men were inside the apartment leaving two stunted men. Jaejoong’s eyes were wide open just as Yoochun’s were. After the sound of the door closing has finally disappeared from their ears, they looked at each other not knowing what to say or how to react.
Yoochun felt the urge to go inside the place and have Junsu in front of him, explaining him. He couldn’t believe what his eyes saw. He was stopped before he could make any movement. “No,” it was Jaejoong whose cheeks were already covered on tears. “Please don’t… don’t.” He closed his eyes.
What was he supposed to do? Jaejoong was telling him not to go but… Junsu was pregnant. He was pregnant.
----------
Junsu didn’t have many options at the moment. Even though his mother had already told him her thoughts about his pregnancy he didn’t have anyone else that could give him the support that he and his baby needed at this moment. He called the woman several times but she never picked the phone. Junsu didn’t know what to do anymore. Crying was not going to help him. He couldn’t let all those problems affect him; his baby needed a sane father that could take care of him.
Even with those thoughts in his mind the tears couldn’t stop falling from his now tired eyes.
“Stupid, Chunnie.” Deep inside him Junsu couldn’t help to blame Yoochun, not exactly for all the things that were happening right now, but for not being there. He was sad and depressed, and he knew that being that way was bad for the baby.
Trying to control himself the boy made dinner. He wasn’t really hungry, but he needed energy. After that, the boy walked back to his bedroom looking at all the cloths on his bed. It was hard to believe that soon he was going to leave the place. He was jobless. There was no money left in his account; he was broke.
The days that followed were not any better. First he needed to find a job. Well, that was almost and impossible mission because he did not know how to work; he didn’t have any special skills.
At the end he finally found a job in a bookstore; he didn’t know much about books but the owner felt bad for the boy when this one told her about his pregnancy and how he needed to find a new home as soon as possible. The woman told him that working at the bookstore was not going to be enough to take care of his baby so she was going to help him find another job. Junsu was surprise. Why was this woman whom he hardly knew helping him? He would never help a stranger this way, he just couldn’t, but even so his now boss was worried about him, she was now even giving him some advice of how to take care of himself until the baby was born.
“It’s going to be tough. Having a child is not a game, there are even going to be times when you are going to wish not being pregnant, but you have to always have in mind that after the end of the journey there is going to be another life needing of your care. Junsu, having a baby inside your stomach is only the beginning, the hardest part of being a parent starts when that baby is on your arms.”
It was really scary; the thought of not being able to give his child what he needed was terrifying. Those were the moments when the reality would come knocking on his front door; he couldn’t hide forever.
“Come on, it is hard but you’ll see that there are going to be many good things coming as well.”
Junsu could only nod his head. There was totally a weird feeling inside of him, maybe it was the strange turn of events, or maybe it was just the feeling he was suppose to feel because of his pregnancy.
“I know that you must be really tired of me so we’ll see each other tomorrow.”
Junsu nodded again, he was really thankful to the woman. He stopped for a second and realized he didn’t know her name; he hated asking for the names of people after forgetting them, well, he would eventually know.
After about two weeks the boy had finally enough money to pay his new apartment. The place was small, really small. There was only one room and a bathroom. The kitchen was no more than a stove placed on a corner of the room, it was…
Junsu couldn’t finish his thoughts because of the tears that were now falling down his cheeks. There was no furniture for what he needed to buy at least a bed. He had some stuff from his old apartment but he had sold it to pay the rent in advance. He was also going to use some of it to buy the groceries and some new furniture. He was really thankful of how greedy he used to be always wanting the best because now he was able to get some large amounts of money and buy all that he needed. He also realized that it was not enough. He had already reckoned all the money he was going to need once the baby was born.
He was afraid, he needed the help from Yoochun, but the fear and his ego did not let him go to look for the man. He was Kim Junsu and he didn’t need the help from anyone.
Maybe his dignity was finally coming back to him, or many it was no more than another of his selfish desires. He was still deciding which one of them was acting at the moment.
It was still really hard for him to understand how he ended up there. He had a nice job, a beautiful apartment and he could buy anything he wanted; now he needed to sell his old stuff and work with the minimum wage.
It was a life he never thought he would live, but he knew there was no sense on thinking of those things anymore. Junsu hated himself, he hated the fact that everyone was right about him. He was a selfish brat, he was immature, and he would always think only of himself. This was a time were his baby needed a father and Yoochun was a good person. He was a gentleman; it would always make him sad to realize that maybe it was his fault that Yoochun became the jerk that cheated on his spouse. Even so, Junsu was mad at the man, Yoochun loved him, he wasn’t stupid, but still Yoochun would never admit it. Junsu couldn’t understand the way his heart worked. Why was it now that he needed to be close to Yoochun, that he wasn’t able to be with the man because of his selfishness? But now he had the right, didn’t he? Maybe not, but he didn’t have mind to think of those things. For now he would continue to be his selfish self.
“I’m almost done with the… decorations,” Junsu said rubbing his still flat stomach. He couldn’t really say there were decorations in the house, or more like the room, because this one was still empty but at least now it had a bed, a couch, a tea table and his cloths were organized inside his closet. The kitchen was also ready, there was just enough food for the week but at least he was not going to die of hunger.
It was kind of funny, or that was what Junsu thought, that things had changed so much. Every time he heard of people loosing everything they had, he never thought it would be like this. But there were many people living the way he was living now, and they seemed to live like if there was not a problem about it, maybe he was the only one feeling this way because of the change of life. Yeah, it was probably it, he was just exaggerating things.
With that thought in his mind Junsu walked to the kitchen, well, he only had to walk a few steps to get there. He was now more than two months pregnant and his stomach would soon become visible. The fatigue his body had been feeling since some days ago was so frustrating; he wanted to feel active but it really seemed impossible for now.
----------
Junsu was really hating the stupid morning sickness; how long were they going to last? It was also a pain in the ass because the manager of the restaurant he was working at in the evenings was not happy after knowing about his condition. It was hard to believe that he was already three months into the pregnancy. Although it actually wasn’t a long time but it was for him. He also realized that his “anger” with Yoochun was something that was meant not to last. Now that he was having the thoughts of looking for Yoochun, he just couldn’t. He did not want to be seen as a weak person. He was probably doing the wrong thing by not going to the father of his child; that ego of his would just not let him.
“Ah!” shouted the boy. He was just too confused; his thoughts were not making any sense. He shook his head and went back to the bedroom so he could get ready for his job at the bookstore. He was useless, there was no need for anyone to tell him, he was really sure that his boss wanted to kick him out since the first day he started working, but she was just too nice.
That day he got a call from someone he thought he could never hear of again. After buying a new cell phone, one he could pay, he decided to keep his old number, maybe Yoochun would call him someday, and he was going to make sure that he was there to answer the call. But this time it was not the case, it was not Yoochun the person that was calling him.
“Junsu? I’m Junho,” he heard the machine saying. “I just… it’s really heard for me to talk after what happened that day. I wanted to apologize, I know I should have not acted the way I did but I just couldn’t get to the idea, I guess. Junsu I don’t know if you are really pregnant or not, but I should have listened to you. That doesn’t mean that I agree with what you did and I actually don’t know how to think about what happened. Call me, ok?”
Junsu was really dizzy at the moment. Tears were already forming in his eyes; it was really nice having someone who at least was dispose to talk to him.
Not having more time the boy ran to take the bus towards his working place.
After the tiring day and when he was back inside his small but comforting house Junsu decided to make the call. He was unsure at first; he still didn’t want anyone to know where he was. But maybe he could convince Junho that he was still living in his old apartment.
At the end he couldn’t do it. Sighing with heaviness he walked to his bed. Wearing his pajamas the boy tucked himself under his comfy covers. He wondered if Junho was going to call again. He wondered if changing keeping his old number was a good idea; after all, he was hiding.
He needed to hide.
He didn’t want to hide.
When he was young there was not a thing that he would want that he wouldn’t get. Times have changed. He realized that the hard way.
----------
Junsu opened his front door again. He thought there was someone waiting outside, but the hallway was empty. Shrugging he walked back inside. He didn’t put so much thought on it, even though there was an uneasy feeling inside of him.
He needed a shower as soon as possible, plus he needed to get ready. It was almost incredible to think that he had two jobs to work at. They weren’t so bad; the pay was decent and the hours were good. But when he had to worry about so many things the stressed couldn’t be help but to pile up.
Maybe he was exaggerating; maybe he needed a little break. He laughed. There was no time to take breaks.
Chapter 16
A/N: LOL you must be hating my right now for not writing about Yoosu's meeting. I couldn't help it, sorry. Anyways, I'll be back soon!
Author: aoi_jihyo
Beta: shine_xd
Length: 15/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: M-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
“You should go and buy it yourself,” said the mentioned as he opened the door to the apartment. His voice was tired but carefree.
“You are mean; you only need to buy it for me. I’m giving you the money for it. You know I have to work in the morning.”
“Whatever you should…” the voice became less audible by the seconds. Soon two men were inside the apartment leaving two stunted men. Jaejoong’s eyes were wide open just as Yoochun’s were. After the sound of the door closing has finally disappeared from their ears, they looked at each other not knowing what to say or how to react.
Yoochun felt the urge to go inside the place and have Junsu in front of him, explaining him. He couldn’t believe what his eyes saw. He was stopped before he could make any movement. “No,” it was Jaejoong whose cheeks were already covered on tears. “Please don’t… don’t.” He closed his eyes.
What was he supposed to do? Jaejoong was telling him not to go but… Junsu was pregnant. He was pregnant.
----------
Junsu didn’t have many options at the moment. Even though his mother had already told him her thoughts about his pregnancy he didn’t have anyone else that could give him the support that he and his baby needed at this moment. He called the woman several times but she never picked the phone. Junsu didn’t know what to do anymore. Crying was not going to help him. He couldn’t let all those problems affect him; his baby needed a sane father that could take care of him.
Even with those thoughts in his mind the tears couldn’t stop falling from his now tired eyes.
“Stupid, Chunnie.” Deep inside him Junsu couldn’t help to blame Yoochun, not exactly for all the things that were happening right now, but for not being there. He was sad and depressed, and he knew that being that way was bad for the baby.
Trying to control himself the boy made dinner. He wasn’t really hungry, but he needed energy. After that, the boy walked back to his bedroom looking at all the cloths on his bed. It was hard to believe that soon he was going to leave the place. He was jobless. There was no money left in his account; he was broke.
The days that followed were not any better. First he needed to find a job. Well, that was almost and impossible mission because he did not know how to work; he didn’t have any special skills.
At the end he finally found a job in a bookstore; he didn’t know much about books but the owner felt bad for the boy when this one told her about his pregnancy and how he needed to find a new home as soon as possible. The woman told him that working at the bookstore was not going to be enough to take care of his baby so she was going to help him find another job. Junsu was surprise. Why was this woman whom he hardly knew helping him? He would never help a stranger this way, he just couldn’t, but even so his now boss was worried about him, she was now even giving him some advice of how to take care of himself until the baby was born.
“It’s going to be tough. Having a child is not a game, there are even going to be times when you are going to wish not being pregnant, but you have to always have in mind that after the end of the journey there is going to be another life needing of your care. Junsu, having a baby inside your stomach is only the beginning, the hardest part of being a parent starts when that baby is on your arms.”
It was really scary; the thought of not being able to give his child what he needed was terrifying. Those were the moments when the reality would come knocking on his front door; he couldn’t hide forever.
“Come on, it is hard but you’ll see that there are going to be many good things coming as well.”
Junsu could only nod his head. There was totally a weird feeling inside of him, maybe it was the strange turn of events, or maybe it was just the feeling he was suppose to feel because of his pregnancy.
“I know that you must be really tired of me so we’ll see each other tomorrow.”
Junsu nodded again, he was really thankful to the woman. He stopped for a second and realized he didn’t know her name; he hated asking for the names of people after forgetting them, well, he would eventually know.
After about two weeks the boy had finally enough money to pay his new apartment. The place was small, really small. There was only one room and a bathroom. The kitchen was no more than a stove placed on a corner of the room, it was…
Junsu couldn’t finish his thoughts because of the tears that were now falling down his cheeks. There was no furniture for what he needed to buy at least a bed. He had some stuff from his old apartment but he had sold it to pay the rent in advance. He was also going to use some of it to buy the groceries and some new furniture. He was really thankful of how greedy he used to be always wanting the best because now he was able to get some large amounts of money and buy all that he needed. He also realized that it was not enough. He had already reckoned all the money he was going to need once the baby was born.
He was afraid, he needed the help from Yoochun, but the fear and his ego did not let him go to look for the man. He was Kim Junsu and he didn’t need the help from anyone.
Maybe his dignity was finally coming back to him, or many it was no more than another of his selfish desires. He was still deciding which one of them was acting at the moment.
It was still really hard for him to understand how he ended up there. He had a nice job, a beautiful apartment and he could buy anything he wanted; now he needed to sell his old stuff and work with the minimum wage.
It was a life he never thought he would live, but he knew there was no sense on thinking of those things anymore. Junsu hated himself, he hated the fact that everyone was right about him. He was a selfish brat, he was immature, and he would always think only of himself. This was a time were his baby needed a father and Yoochun was a good person. He was a gentleman; it would always make him sad to realize that maybe it was his fault that Yoochun became the jerk that cheated on his spouse. Even so, Junsu was mad at the man, Yoochun loved him, he wasn’t stupid, but still Yoochun would never admit it. Junsu couldn’t understand the way his heart worked. Why was it now that he needed to be close to Yoochun, that he wasn’t able to be with the man because of his selfishness? But now he had the right, didn’t he? Maybe not, but he didn’t have mind to think of those things. For now he would continue to be his selfish self.
“I’m almost done with the… decorations,” Junsu said rubbing his still flat stomach. He couldn’t really say there were decorations in the house, or more like the room, because this one was still empty but at least now it had a bed, a couch, a tea table and his cloths were organized inside his closet. The kitchen was also ready, there was just enough food for the week but at least he was not going to die of hunger.
It was kind of funny, or that was what Junsu thought, that things had changed so much. Every time he heard of people loosing everything they had, he never thought it would be like this. But there were many people living the way he was living now, and they seemed to live like if there was not a problem about it, maybe he was the only one feeling this way because of the change of life. Yeah, it was probably it, he was just exaggerating things.
With that thought in his mind Junsu walked to the kitchen, well, he only had to walk a few steps to get there. He was now more than two months pregnant and his stomach would soon become visible. The fatigue his body had been feeling since some days ago was so frustrating; he wanted to feel active but it really seemed impossible for now.
----------
Junsu was really hating the stupid morning sickness; how long were they going to last? It was also a pain in the ass because the manager of the restaurant he was working at in the evenings was not happy after knowing about his condition. It was hard to believe that he was already three months into the pregnancy. Although it actually wasn’t a long time but it was for him. He also realized that his “anger” with Yoochun was something that was meant not to last. Now that he was having the thoughts of looking for Yoochun, he just couldn’t. He did not want to be seen as a weak person. He was probably doing the wrong thing by not going to the father of his child; that ego of his would just not let him.
“Ah!” shouted the boy. He was just too confused; his thoughts were not making any sense. He shook his head and went back to the bedroom so he could get ready for his job at the bookstore. He was useless, there was no need for anyone to tell him, he was really sure that his boss wanted to kick him out since the first day he started working, but she was just too nice.
That day he got a call from someone he thought he could never hear of again. After buying a new cell phone, one he could pay, he decided to keep his old number, maybe Yoochun would call him someday, and he was going to make sure that he was there to answer the call. But this time it was not the case, it was not Yoochun the person that was calling him.
“Junsu? I’m Junho,” he heard the machine saying. “I just… it’s really heard for me to talk after what happened that day. I wanted to apologize, I know I should have not acted the way I did but I just couldn’t get to the idea, I guess. Junsu I don’t know if you are really pregnant or not, but I should have listened to you. That doesn’t mean that I agree with what you did and I actually don’t know how to think about what happened. Call me, ok?”
Junsu was really dizzy at the moment. Tears were already forming in his eyes; it was really nice having someone who at least was dispose to talk to him.
Not having more time the boy ran to take the bus towards his working place.
After the tiring day and when he was back inside his small but comforting house Junsu decided to make the call. He was unsure at first; he still didn’t want anyone to know where he was. But maybe he could convince Junho that he was still living in his old apartment.
At the end he couldn’t do it. Sighing with heaviness he walked to his bed. Wearing his pajamas the boy tucked himself under his comfy covers. He wondered if Junho was going to call again. He wondered if changing keeping his old number was a good idea; after all, he was hiding.
He needed to hide.
He didn’t want to hide.
When he was young there was not a thing that he would want that he wouldn’t get. Times have changed. He realized that the hard way.
----------
Junsu opened his front door again. He thought there was someone waiting outside, but the hallway was empty. Shrugging he walked back inside. He didn’t put so much thought on it, even though there was an uneasy feeling inside of him.
He needed a shower as soon as possible, plus he needed to get ready. It was almost incredible to think that he had two jobs to work at. They weren’t so bad; the pay was decent and the hours were good. But when he had to worry about so many things the stressed couldn’t be help but to pile up.
Maybe he was exaggerating; maybe he needed a little break. He laughed. There was no time to take breaks.
Chapter 16
A/N: LOL you must be hating my right now for not writing about Yoosu's meeting. I couldn't help it, sorry. Anyways, I'll be back soon!