Love's Sorrow Chapter 13
Title: Love's Sorrow
Author: aoi_jihyo
Beta: shine_xd
Length: 13/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: M-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
How did he know it? Junsu haven’t been feeling well for the last past week, he didn’t need anyone to tell him what was happening to him. The morning sickness was enough for him to figure that something was wrong with his body. He didn’t know how he should be feeling right now. He was happy that he was pregnant with Yoochun’s baby, he loved Yoochun and having part of the man inside of him was one of the greatest happiness in his life.
The problem was… everything. Yoochun wasn’t with him, he was his brother’s. Jaejoong wouldn’t even talk to him and give him a chance to explain himself, although there was nothing to explain he was guilty of all charges.
Today he decided to go to the hospital. He wanted to know everything about his pregnancy, for now he was going to forget about all the problems and simply enjoy the news of him having a baby from the man of his life.
With hesitant steps the young man entered the doctor’s office. The other man smiled at him giving him the reassurance that everything was going to be just fine. Junsu smiled back.
After discussing for a moment, Junsu was taken to another room. He was asked to take off his cloths and so he did. Soon he was lying on a bed with some jelly green stuff over his stomach. It was really cold, Junsu shivered.
“Well, here is it,” said the doctor. The nurse was moving some machine over his belly distracting him for a little bit.
“Where?” he asked. He couldn’t see anything.
The doctor pointed at the screen one more time. Junsu tilted his head to the side. “I know is hard to see, and that’s because it is still really small, you are only a month and two weeks pregnancy.”
“A month and two weeks?” Junsu started counting, the doctor laughed at that.
“I hope you are not one of those young people that sleep around and don’t even know who the father of their child is.”
Junsu frowned. “I do know who the father of my child is!”
“Ok, I’m sorry; I just thought it was weird for you to count like that.”
“I just wanted to know when we… you know.”
“I understand. Well, we are done, I’ll leave you to get dress and then we can discuss about what you have to do to maintain a healthy pregnancy.”
Junsu nodded. Once he was ready he walked inside the doctor’s office again. There were so many things that he needed to do, Junsu was determine to do the best even though he was already thinking of all the things he was not going to eat. It was fine, his baby was going to be healthy and he needed to make sure of it.
Walking out of the hospital Junsu went to a restaurant. He was really hungry because he skipped his breakfast. What should he do? He didn’t want to be one of those boys that use a baby to make the father be with them, he didn’t even know if Yoochun was going to leave Jaejoong, he wanted him to; he wanted Yoochun to be with him and their baby. But it was not as easy as just thinking of it.
Junsu walked inside his apartment with a smile on his face. He was really happy, all the sadness that he felt before were almost gone. Or so he thought, once he sat on the couch in front of his TV a really strong feeling grew inside of him. There were so many things that he needed to think about and being there alone made him really scared. He didn’t want to think of his life without Yoochun. He didn’t want to be alone.
It was also really scary to think of what his baby was going to think about him once he was older, that he slept with his father when the latter was married to his uncle. Was he going to understand him? He was not going to think of his mother like a… whore, was he? The doctor told him that raising a baby was something really hard; he said that he needed the help and support from his family. Junsu knew that in these moments this was something that he didn’t have.
He felt asleep after the whole tiring day. Tomorrow was going to be a really busy day as well.
------------He wasn’t really sure of what he was doing at this moment, he tried to talk to Jaejoong and Yoochun at the company but again, the two men simply ignored him. It really hurt him, thinking that Yoochun didn’t care about him anymore. No, Yoochun cared about him, Junsu knew it, or that was what he told himself every time thoughts of Yoochun moving on came to his mind.
Being in front of his parent’s house Junsu rang the doorbell twice when suddenly his mother was in front of him. The woman looked not so happy to see him but Junsu was her son and she tried to control her anger. Junsu was really afraid at the moment; the look on her mother’s face was simply not pleasant.
“Well, I guess you are informed that your father and I already know about your… affair,” Junsu nodded. “Well, then, I’m surprise you still have the courage to come here like if nothing has happened. Junsu, you are my son and I love you immensely but what you did does not have an excuse.”
Junsu frowned listening to his mother’s words; he was tired of people telling him that what he did was wrong, he didn’t care, why couldn’t they understand?
“Mom, I didn’t come here for you to give me a sermon. I do not regret what I did,” Mrs. Kim looked surprise for a second. “I love him, I love Yoochun and I would never change what I did, if I have the chance to go back on time, I would do just the same thing I did.”
“How can you say that?”
Junsu sighed. “I’m sorry, but I did not come here for you to tell me if what I did was wrong or right,” he paused. “I came here to talk to you about something really important.”
At that moment Mrs. Kim sighed as well, she began to walk and sat on a sofa, Junsu did the same. “What is that that you need to talk about?”
Junsu’s strength almost left him at that moment. He was really mad just a moment ago, but now; he wasn’t sure if being there was what he should have done.
He sighed looking at his mother. The woman felt concerned because of her son’s troubled look. “I… I am… I’m pregnant, mom.”
Mrs. Kim did not have any expression on her face; the words that her son had just pronounced couldn’t be process.
“You are lying,” she said after long and painful seconds.
Junsu shook his head. “I’m not lying, why would I be lying about something as important as this?”
“Well I don’t know, maybe to keep on getting between your brother’s marriage and get what you want, Yoochun.”
Furiously, Junsu stood up from his seat. He couldn’t believe that his mother was implying that he would lie about something like this just to get Yoochun, he wasn’t…. he wasn’t like that.
“You already lied before, why would you not lie about this now?”
Junsu thought for a second, he could understand that after lying for so long people was not going to trust him anymore, but still he couldn’t believe that his own mother couldn’t even trust him, his own mother.
“Mom,” he exhaled. Fighting with his mother wasn’t a good move so he tried to relax. “I’m not lying to you; I went to the hospital just yesterday. I’m a month and two weeks pregnant, I… I forgot to bring the ultrasound, but I can…”
“Junsu stop. You do not have to lie to me anymore. Please, just stop.”
“I’m not lying, mom…” tears began to form on his eyes, he was so frustrated.
The woman shook her head. She was too disappointed in her son to even listen to the boy.
Junsu regretted going there, he was really pissed, but he was also really afraid, his mom didn’t believe him, he was sure that Yoochun and Jaejoong were not going to believe him either. The saddest thing is that maybe even if they knew that he was pregnant they couldn’t believe him that the baby was Yoochun’s.
----------After the encounter with his mother Junsu decided to wait and not tell Yoochun for the moment, he wasn’t ready for the accusations that Yoochun might put him through.
He walked inside the restaurant where Junho has cited him to. Junsu smiled looking at his friend, it had been a long time now, and having some company was without a doubt great. Junho smiled back as he waited for Junsu to sit on the empty seat.
“How have you been?” asked Junho sipping from his coffee.
Junsu shrugged. “Not as good as I would like to tell you I am.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m surprise you don’t know about it,” Junho looked still really confused for what Junsu went. “I had a fight with my family.”
“A fight? You are always fighting with them; I don’t understand what the difference is now?”
“This time… this time is not just a simple fight, Junho. My brother doesn’t want to talk to me, my dad almost hit me right across the face and my mom kicked me out their house. It’s just… it’s really complicated.”
Junho nodded his head. “Junsu, I’m your friend, you know you can tell me anything you want, you don’t have to feel pressured about it, though.”
“It’s ok; I don’t really have anyone else to talk to, so…” he sighed. “I’m… I’m pregnant.”
Junho nodded for a second but it was after he realized what his friend has just said that he looked at the boy with questioning eyes. “Wait, what?”
Junsu bit his lower lip. “I’m pregnant. I know is really sudden and… and I know this is something hard to believe, but I’m really pregnant.”
“Ok, you are pregnant, I get that, now tell me, who is the father?”
“That’s the problem. The father… well, he is someone married.”
“You slept with a married man? Junsu, are you insane?”
“I know it might sound crazy, but… that is actually not the main problem,” how many times was he going to feel this way? Every time he thought about Yoochun being married to his brother a dizzying feeling appeared inside his stomach. “Is… Yoochun hyung.”
“Yoochun hyung? As Park Yoochun? Jaejoong hyung’s husband?”
Junsu nodded.
There was a long awkward moment. Junsu couldn’t even look at his friend at that moment, so he didn’t know what the expression on the other’s face was.
“You have to be kidding me.”
“I’m not; Yoochun and I had an affair for a long time… a really long time. I love him.” It was stupid to think that saying that he loved Yoochun was going to change everyone’s opinion about their relationship, it was not.
Junho glared at the boy for long seconds, he smiled bitterly. “I know what you are trying to do, Junsu. You are not pregnant, and if you are, you are probably simply looking for Yoochun hyung to leave Jaejoong hyung and take care of you and the baby,” he shook his head. “I wonder if that child is even Yoochun hyung’s. You are as selfish as always. For a moment I thought you have matured, seems that I was wrong.”
“How… how can you think like that about me? You know me; you know me since long time ago, you know I wouldn’t do anything like this.”
“Well, I thought you would never sleep with your brother’s husband, but you proved me wrong.”
“I…”
Junho closed his eyes thinking for a second. “You are a hypocrite, Junsu. I don’t even think is a good idea to be here with you. I have to go.”
The boy was already out the room before Junsu could even react. He was sure this was going to happen; he knew that, because he would think the same thing. That was why he couldn’t blame them, all the people saying that he was a hypocrite and a liar, they knew him, Junsu was a hypocrite and a liar, he was aware of that.
It was really ironic, similarly to “the boy who cried wolf”. It was really frustrating, to say the truth and that no one could even believe on you.
Not knowing what to do the boy just walked home. He didn’t even want to take a taxi or the bus, he just walked.
He thought that things couldn’t get any worse, but he was wrong.
There was someone waiting for him once he got to the apartment complex. Junsu didn’t think much about it at first, but after having a conversation with the man, Junsu started to think that the world was without doubt against him.
He needed more time.
Chapter 14
A/N: I'm really worried now, I will be gone for Christmas Break and I don't know if I will be able to update those two weeks. Right now I'm studying for my Finals and even though I wanted to update before I go, I think I won't be able to ;_; I promise that I will write those two weeks but since I won't have access to internet is going to be hard to update, anyways, time will tell LOL
Author: aoi_jihyo
Beta: shine_xd
Length: 13/20
Pairing: Yoosu, Jaechun (slight)
Genre: Angst/Smut/Romance
Rating: R
Warning: M-preg
Summary: Junsu was aware that the man was his brother-in-law. Yoochun wasn't his and he knew it. But Junsu's darkest side still wanted him, it desired him. It was a question of pride, wasn't it?
Wasn’t it?
How did he know it? Junsu haven’t been feeling well for the last past week, he didn’t need anyone to tell him what was happening to him. The morning sickness was enough for him to figure that something was wrong with his body. He didn’t know how he should be feeling right now. He was happy that he was pregnant with Yoochun’s baby, he loved Yoochun and having part of the man inside of him was one of the greatest happiness in his life.
The problem was… everything. Yoochun wasn’t with him, he was his brother’s. Jaejoong wouldn’t even talk to him and give him a chance to explain himself, although there was nothing to explain he was guilty of all charges.
Today he decided to go to the hospital. He wanted to know everything about his pregnancy, for now he was going to forget about all the problems and simply enjoy the news of him having a baby from the man of his life.
With hesitant steps the young man entered the doctor’s office. The other man smiled at him giving him the reassurance that everything was going to be just fine. Junsu smiled back.
After discussing for a moment, Junsu was taken to another room. He was asked to take off his cloths and so he did. Soon he was lying on a bed with some jelly green stuff over his stomach. It was really cold, Junsu shivered.
“Well, here is it,” said the doctor. The nurse was moving some machine over his belly distracting him for a little bit.
“Where?” he asked. He couldn’t see anything.
The doctor pointed at the screen one more time. Junsu tilted his head to the side. “I know is hard to see, and that’s because it is still really small, you are only a month and two weeks pregnancy.”
“A month and two weeks?” Junsu started counting, the doctor laughed at that.
“I hope you are not one of those young people that sleep around and don’t even know who the father of their child is.”
Junsu frowned. “I do know who the father of my child is!”
“Ok, I’m sorry; I just thought it was weird for you to count like that.”
“I just wanted to know when we… you know.”
“I understand. Well, we are done, I’ll leave you to get dress and then we can discuss about what you have to do to maintain a healthy pregnancy.”
Junsu nodded. Once he was ready he walked inside the doctor’s office again. There were so many things that he needed to do, Junsu was determine to do the best even though he was already thinking of all the things he was not going to eat. It was fine, his baby was going to be healthy and he needed to make sure of it.
Walking out of the hospital Junsu went to a restaurant. He was really hungry because he skipped his breakfast. What should he do? He didn’t want to be one of those boys that use a baby to make the father be with them, he didn’t even know if Yoochun was going to leave Jaejoong, he wanted him to; he wanted Yoochun to be with him and their baby. But it was not as easy as just thinking of it.
Junsu walked inside his apartment with a smile on his face. He was really happy, all the sadness that he felt before were almost gone. Or so he thought, once he sat on the couch in front of his TV a really strong feeling grew inside of him. There were so many things that he needed to think about and being there alone made him really scared. He didn’t want to think of his life without Yoochun. He didn’t want to be alone.
It was also really scary to think of what his baby was going to think about him once he was older, that he slept with his father when the latter was married to his uncle. Was he going to understand him? He was not going to think of his mother like a… whore, was he? The doctor told him that raising a baby was something really hard; he said that he needed the help and support from his family. Junsu knew that in these moments this was something that he didn’t have.
He felt asleep after the whole tiring day. Tomorrow was going to be a really busy day as well.
------------He wasn’t really sure of what he was doing at this moment, he tried to talk to Jaejoong and Yoochun at the company but again, the two men simply ignored him. It really hurt him, thinking that Yoochun didn’t care about him anymore. No, Yoochun cared about him, Junsu knew it, or that was what he told himself every time thoughts of Yoochun moving on came to his mind.
Being in front of his parent’s house Junsu rang the doorbell twice when suddenly his mother was in front of him. The woman looked not so happy to see him but Junsu was her son and she tried to control her anger. Junsu was really afraid at the moment; the look on her mother’s face was simply not pleasant.
“Well, I guess you are informed that your father and I already know about your… affair,” Junsu nodded. “Well, then, I’m surprise you still have the courage to come here like if nothing has happened. Junsu, you are my son and I love you immensely but what you did does not have an excuse.”
Junsu frowned listening to his mother’s words; he was tired of people telling him that what he did was wrong, he didn’t care, why couldn’t they understand?
“Mom, I didn’t come here for you to give me a sermon. I do not regret what I did,” Mrs. Kim looked surprise for a second. “I love him, I love Yoochun and I would never change what I did, if I have the chance to go back on time, I would do just the same thing I did.”
“How can you say that?”
Junsu sighed. “I’m sorry, but I did not come here for you to tell me if what I did was wrong or right,” he paused. “I came here to talk to you about something really important.”
At that moment Mrs. Kim sighed as well, she began to walk and sat on a sofa, Junsu did the same. “What is that that you need to talk about?”
Junsu’s strength almost left him at that moment. He was really mad just a moment ago, but now; he wasn’t sure if being there was what he should have done.
He sighed looking at his mother. The woman felt concerned because of her son’s troubled look. “I… I am… I’m pregnant, mom.”
Mrs. Kim did not have any expression on her face; the words that her son had just pronounced couldn’t be process.
“You are lying,” she said after long and painful seconds.
Junsu shook his head. “I’m not lying, why would I be lying about something as important as this?”
“Well I don’t know, maybe to keep on getting between your brother’s marriage and get what you want, Yoochun.”
Furiously, Junsu stood up from his seat. He couldn’t believe that his mother was implying that he would lie about something like this just to get Yoochun, he wasn’t…. he wasn’t like that.
“You already lied before, why would you not lie about this now?”
Junsu thought for a second, he could understand that after lying for so long people was not going to trust him anymore, but still he couldn’t believe that his own mother couldn’t even trust him, his own mother.
“Mom,” he exhaled. Fighting with his mother wasn’t a good move so he tried to relax. “I’m not lying to you; I went to the hospital just yesterday. I’m a month and two weeks pregnant, I… I forgot to bring the ultrasound, but I can…”
“Junsu stop. You do not have to lie to me anymore. Please, just stop.”
“I’m not lying, mom…” tears began to form on his eyes, he was so frustrated.
The woman shook her head. She was too disappointed in her son to even listen to the boy.
Junsu regretted going there, he was really pissed, but he was also really afraid, his mom didn’t believe him, he was sure that Yoochun and Jaejoong were not going to believe him either. The saddest thing is that maybe even if they knew that he was pregnant they couldn’t believe him that the baby was Yoochun’s.
----------After the encounter with his mother Junsu decided to wait and not tell Yoochun for the moment, he wasn’t ready for the accusations that Yoochun might put him through.
He walked inside the restaurant where Junho has cited him to. Junsu smiled looking at his friend, it had been a long time now, and having some company was without a doubt great. Junho smiled back as he waited for Junsu to sit on the empty seat.
“How have you been?” asked Junho sipping from his coffee.
Junsu shrugged. “Not as good as I would like to tell you I am.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m surprise you don’t know about it,” Junho looked still really confused for what Junsu went. “I had a fight with my family.”
“A fight? You are always fighting with them; I don’t understand what the difference is now?”
“This time… this time is not just a simple fight, Junho. My brother doesn’t want to talk to me, my dad almost hit me right across the face and my mom kicked me out their house. It’s just… it’s really complicated.”
Junho nodded his head. “Junsu, I’m your friend, you know you can tell me anything you want, you don’t have to feel pressured about it, though.”
“It’s ok; I don’t really have anyone else to talk to, so…” he sighed. “I’m… I’m pregnant.”
Junho nodded for a second but it was after he realized what his friend has just said that he looked at the boy with questioning eyes. “Wait, what?”
Junsu bit his lower lip. “I’m pregnant. I know is really sudden and… and I know this is something hard to believe, but I’m really pregnant.”
“Ok, you are pregnant, I get that, now tell me, who is the father?”
“That’s the problem. The father… well, he is someone married.”
“You slept with a married man? Junsu, are you insane?”
“I know it might sound crazy, but… that is actually not the main problem,” how many times was he going to feel this way? Every time he thought about Yoochun being married to his brother a dizzying feeling appeared inside his stomach. “Is… Yoochun hyung.”
“Yoochun hyung? As Park Yoochun? Jaejoong hyung’s husband?”
Junsu nodded.
There was a long awkward moment. Junsu couldn’t even look at his friend at that moment, so he didn’t know what the expression on the other’s face was.
“You have to be kidding me.”
“I’m not; Yoochun and I had an affair for a long time… a really long time. I love him.” It was stupid to think that saying that he loved Yoochun was going to change everyone’s opinion about their relationship, it was not.
Junho glared at the boy for long seconds, he smiled bitterly. “I know what you are trying to do, Junsu. You are not pregnant, and if you are, you are probably simply looking for Yoochun hyung to leave Jaejoong hyung and take care of you and the baby,” he shook his head. “I wonder if that child is even Yoochun hyung’s. You are as selfish as always. For a moment I thought you have matured, seems that I was wrong.”
“How… how can you think like that about me? You know me; you know me since long time ago, you know I wouldn’t do anything like this.”
“Well, I thought you would never sleep with your brother’s husband, but you proved me wrong.”
“I…”
Junho closed his eyes thinking for a second. “You are a hypocrite, Junsu. I don’t even think is a good idea to be here with you. I have to go.”
The boy was already out the room before Junsu could even react. He was sure this was going to happen; he knew that, because he would think the same thing. That was why he couldn’t blame them, all the people saying that he was a hypocrite and a liar, they knew him, Junsu was a hypocrite and a liar, he was aware of that.
It was really ironic, similarly to “the boy who cried wolf”. It was really frustrating, to say the truth and that no one could even believe on you.
Not knowing what to do the boy just walked home. He didn’t even want to take a taxi or the bus, he just walked.
He thought that things couldn’t get any worse, but he was wrong.
There was someone waiting for him once he got to the apartment complex. Junsu didn’t think much about it at first, but after having a conversation with the man, Junsu started to think that the world was without doubt against him.
He needed more time.
Chapter 14
A/N: I'm really worried now, I will be gone for Christmas Break and I don't know if I will be able to update those two weeks. Right now I'm studying for my Finals and even though I wanted to update before I go, I think I won't be able to ;_; I promise that I will write those two weeks but since I won't have access to internet is going to be hard to update, anyways, time will tell LOL