A Sort of Homecoming, Chapter 34, Part One
Title: A Sort of Homecoming,
Chapter: 34, Part One
Author: Jennedyjld / JKSophiejane
Rating: M
Pairing: A/O
Chapter 34
Williamsburg, VA
Wednesday, 5:30 p.m.
Halfway through Guiding Light, to which she had developed an addiction she
planned to keep secret for the rest of her life, Olivia fell into a deep slumber that carried her through the afternoon. The loud clap of the front door slamming into place startled her into an upright position in the bed, and she stifled a moan as her hand instinctively went to her sore tummy.
Olivia reached for the remote control and turned the television off, vaguely aware of Alex’s and Antonio’s voices in the kitchen. Moments later, he passed by her bedroom, ducking his head in for a quick hello as he retreated to his bedroom to do whatever it was he did before dinner. Something involving Death Knights, epic loot, and dungeons.
She smiled when Alex stopped at the doorway and cast a lingering look into the room, watching her stretch. “C’mere,” she beckoned, tilting her head up to receive a kiss.
Alex stepped over to the bed, happy to oblige Olivia’s request. She sat on the edge of the bed and reached into her purse, producing several folded pages.
“What’cha got?” Olivia whispered conspiratorially.
“Some pictures,” Alex said, unfolding the pages. Each contained a series of bullet points arranged next to color exterior and interior shot of apartments and brownstones. “I thought we could start choosing some places… you know, so we can look around while we’re in New York.”
Olivia frowned. She hadn’t anticipated having this conversation until much later. “Already?” she grumbled, unable to hide her lack of enthusiasm.
Alex returned her frown, throwing an icy blue stare Olivia’s way. After a few miserable seconds of silence, she exhaled slowly and finally spoke a single word: “Oh.”
Olivia didn’t understand what that meant, but she knew it probably wasn’t good. “Alex,” she said, already trying to think of ways to backpedal from her initial lack of enthusiasm. “I’m just, you know…I just woke up… can we, you know, just hang out a little bit before we start…” She heard herself babbling, and looked up at Alex hopefully, tossing a slightly crooked smile Alex’s way, hoping it was enough.
It wasn’t.
“I thought you might at least be able to pretend to be interested in where we’re going to live,” Alex said, folding the papers and moving to put them back into her purse.
“Wait,” Olivia said, moving quickly to stop Alex. She took the papers in her hand and opened the stack. “I’m awake now,” she said, not taking her eyes off the papers to study Alex’s reaction. “I want to see.”
Alex remained unconvinced, but she watched cautiously as Olivia flipped through the pages. Her lover’s expression changed from interest to dismay, though, and after the fifth potential home, Olivia looked downright irritated.
“There’s a problem?” Alex asked, her voice clipped.
“I just thought we talked about, you know, not going overboard,” Olivia said, trying to keep her tone light.
“This isn’t overboard,” Alex said, defensively. She reached for the page Olivia was currently studying. “This is just the right size.”
“It’s easily six times bigger than my apartment,” Olivia protested.
“The apartment that you admitted wasn’t big enough,” Alex reminded her as her face steeled.
“When I admitted we’d need more space, I didn’t mean we had to do this,” Olivia pointed out, her index finger landing on the asking price. “I remember explicitly telling you that this would make me uncomfortable.” She sighed, and tried a softer approach. “Alex, Sweetheart… you know I can’t even come close to pulling equal weight on a place like this…”
“I’m not asking you to go halfsies with me, Olivia,” Alex insisted. “You know it’s within my means.”
“Actually, I have no idea what your means are, Alex,” Olivia admitted, sighing as she leaned back against the headboard. “But you have a pretty good idea about mine - and you know that I have to feel like I’m contributing, not just taking up space in your home.”
“How can you say that?” Alex looked incredulous. “You know I don’t think-”
“It’s not just about what you think, Alex,” Olivia said, hotly. “It’s what I think, and what our friends will think.”
“You suppose that people will think less of you if they observe that you’re living in a new zip code,” Alex shook her head. “I really expected more from you, Liv.”
“You expected what?” Olivia felt her cheeks color.
Alex’s face, meanwhile, remained cool and unreadable. “Once again, you’re letting some misguided notions of pride get in the way of your common sense,” she said, matter-of-factly.
“Is that right?” Olivia’s voice grew slightly more forceful, and she narrowed her eyes, preparing for a fight she didn’t really want to have. Her hands balled into anxious fists, gripping soft bedsheets tightly.
Alex nodded resolutely, seemingly oblivious to Olivia’s mounting discomfort. “You’re being very short-sighted,” she pointed out.
“I…am… not!” Olivia insisted, wishing she felt well enough to stand up and storm off. As it was, she was stuck right here in the room. Still, she reasoned, that didn’t mean she had to sit back and listen quietly while Alex pointed out everything that was wrong with her.
“You don’t consider it short-sighted to give up on what we’ve both waited so long for because the mortgage won’t be split fifty-fifty?”
“I don’t know about you,” Olivia spat, looking disdainfully at the list of amenities. “But what I’ve been waiting for has nothing to do with four bathrooms, two fireplaces, and concierge service.”
“I meant being together, a place for both of us,” Alex said, unwavering. “I’ve never seen someone so resistant to having something wonderful happen.”
“Alex, are you even trying to understand?” Olivia cried out, frustrated. “Is all of this just falling on deaf ears, or are you making any sort of an effort to see this my way?”
“Olivia,” Alex said, testily. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re always going to hold the fact that I have money against me?”
“I’m not,” Olivia insisted. “Are you always going to try to make me play the part of someone I’m not?”
“That’s ridiculous,” Alex exhaled, shaking her head. “Need I remind you that you just lost a kidney - and very nearly your life - so that we could be together? Now, the first time I want to do something for you, take care of you in a way that you can’t take care of yourself, you refuse to even consider letting me do it.”
Olivia was quiet, and Alex reached out and wrapped her fingers around her hand, bringing it to soft red lips that kissed it gently.
“You deserve nice things, you deserve a nice home,” Alex coaxed. “I want them for myself, yes. I admit it. But can you just entertain the possibility that you deserve it?”
Olivia sighed. “I can try,” she relented. “I don’t know if I can ever feel at home in a place like these, Al…”
Alex was silent, her eyes never wavering from Olivia’s. Finally, she spoke. “You’re serious about… Queens?”
“Yeah. Is that so terrible?”
Alex raised an eyebrow, and her lips tugged downward, signaling that yes, this was so terrible.
“Maybe we’re moving too fast,” Olivia said, horrified by her own words, yet unable to stop their journey from her lips into the space between them. “Maybe we’re just not ready to live together yet…”
Alex looked stricken, her jaw going slack. For a moment, she simply stared at Olivia, who was doing a fairly good job at pretending she had meant what she had just said. Determined not to fall apart in front of her lover, Alex smoothed out her slacks and stood, turning her back to Olivia. “I’m going to make dinner,” she said, her voice clipped.
Olivia wanted to call her back, wanted to tell her that she hadn’t meant it, wanted to promise to be easier to deal with. Instead, she found herself unable to speak, her voice catching in her throat as Alex left the bedroom and shut the door behind her.
Left alone in the room, Olivia fought back tears, wondering how things had gone from wonderful to completely fucked up in a matter of minutes. Her mind wandered to the moonstone ring she had tucked into her suitcase before they left New York - she had spent the last weekend trying to imagine the perfect moment to present it to Alex, and had decided to wait until they returned to New York and found the place they wanted to buy. She sadly realized that unless she was willing to bend, that day might never arrive.