Special Note: Last night I accidentally posted two of this entry, and then experienced some problems deleting one of them. I woke up this morning to find both of them deleted, so I
I think that's pretty unfortunate, and I hope you can get over it. There is a shortage of quality men in the world -- at least ones who grace the lives of women. And I'm not saying most men are bad, I'm just saying that, being someone who is shy and would have to really gather a lot of courage to talk to someone (man or not) so comfortably in public, it is far easier to meet a jerk than a nice person for whatever reason. It's some sort of phenomenon that seems to be quite the problem for lots of people. Maybe we're all just too shy to talk to one another, which is why we get involved with less shy people (of high quality or not) to sort of take things over for us. Or nobody at all, even though we may desperately want it to be otherwise.
However, I don't think your response to the woman was lame, it was the follow-up. There was no support. Perhaps if you worried less about whether you're being lame and more about just being friendly and open things would work out better? (Easier said than done, I know, but just a thought.)
Wirestars I like your point about my comment not really being lame. Infact the more I think about that moment, the less pissed I am that I never made something more of it. I suppose at the time everything seemed so intense and I really had made the wrong move. Who knows, her comment of "I'll protect you" could have been a fun thing to say and just that. I can feel this way because there are so many more of these little experiences coming my way right?
Hrrrmmm...darianknightDecember 7 2001, 20:19:56 UTC
I will offer whatever advice I can, my friend, though I do not know how much good it will do as I suffer from the same problem as you do (as recently as this week). The only solution I have found (perplexing in both its simplicity and difficulty) is to treat the people you meet as people. When you stop seeing them as "a pretty girl i think is cute and maybe she'll like me but what should i say/do oh no know now she is staring at me..." and respond to them as you would anyone else, you are suddenly smooth, natural, and suave. Just reacting to the person based upon what they say and do -instead of what you think will make them like you, or any other outside factors- should be enough.
If that doesn't work just club them over the head and drag them back to the one-eight.
Re: Hrrrmmm...apartment18December 8 2001, 06:39:01 UTC
Ahhh the art of not caring. It is well known that when coming off as natural and unbothered, even a little mystique can be created. I have found that it works well outside the complex mating game. I'm still young, but I can tell the older I get the easier it is not to care so much about sillyness and the whatnot. The goal is to try and care so little that women will actually be driven mad by there attraction to me. But how to care that little......
Re: Hrrrmmm...darianknightDecember 9 2001, 13:49:52 UTC
I don't think it's about not caring, but more making sure you don't care/over analyze too much. Would you happen to be a Virgo? I am, and I feel it explains a lot. You are right about the not caring=attraction connection. I've noticed that this girl I've stopped giving a damn about has now started to look at me in a new light. Oh well.
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However, I don't think your response to the woman was lame, it was the follow-up. There was no support. Perhaps if you worried less about whether you're being lame and more about just being friendly and open things would work out better? (Easier said than done, I know, but just a thought.)
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If that doesn't work just club them over the head and drag them back to the one-eight.
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