costco!au

Aug 30, 2013 18:48

Title: Churro Loves Pizza Rolls (Inside Joke)
Pairing: Luhan/Sehun; Jongin/Kyungsoo; Wufan/Joonmyun




cr

Sehun walked aimlessly in Costco, clutching to the lanyard around his neck while he looked around curiously. The sets of TVs stared at him, blinking in colorful LED lights and surround sound, playing the latest movie to come out on Blu-ray and DVD. He shuffles in his sandals, peering down at the little kids that gather around him. Sehun shifts away when a little girl attempts to hold his hand; Sehun is not good with kids, so he feigns disinterest and heads off to the bread section. There isn’t anything there that he doesn’t already own, and if there is, it’s not something that he wants-for example: the rows of Whole Wheat Bread. It’s not even tasty. He wrinkles his nose in distaste when his mother puts it in their cart anyways. Curse Whole Wheat and their nutritional properties-he’s going to spitefully tell his mother how fattening carbohydrates are (even if they are admittedly healthy).

He scans the aisles of chips across from the breads, and drops a Costco sized bag of Doritos into the cart and helpfully points out to his mother that it’s on sale and she saves two dollars. In fact, she could save four dollars if she chose to buy two bags, which is the maximum they’re allowed to buy if they want to use the coupon. Regretfully, he does the Walk-of-Shame and puts the bag of chip back on the shelf. Goodbye, unnecessary amount of sodium.

Grumpily, Sehun decides to stray away from the cart and walk around on his own. He likes the freedom of moving around in the crowd, not being burdened by having to push around a cart at a snail pace in the heavy traffic. Let’s be real, the main purpose of any teenager going to Costco is to get every single sample offered before the day ends. The parents might say the purpose is for the cheap deals, but it’s not like Sehun is ever going to eat Whole Wheat Bread in bulk.

The first place Sehun hits up is a small table for Barbecued Pulled Pork and he waits patiently in front of two other people before grabbing two samples.

“Shove off, Sehun,” Jongin grumbles tiredly. It’s the perks of having friends who get jobs at Costco, he doesn’t feel terribly bad about stealing extra samples-at least not when there’s no one behind him in line.
“How’s work,” Sehun asks with his mouth full, chucking away his little paper cups in the nearest bright red trashcan. Jongin stares moodily at his microwave, chucking a second platter of pork in before he answers, “Sucky.” It must be because the cashier named Kyungsoo had been ignoring Jongin’s obvious advances.

“Did you get his number at least?” Jongin slouches, staring off into the distance wistfully. Sehun takes it as a no, and pats Jongin on the back consolingly. (He also takes a third sample before he leaves because he can.)
Sehun walks around, carefully avoiding the ajumma that tries to coax him into trying a new product which is basically broccoli with cheese. If Sehun won’t eat his the vegetables at the dinner table, he won’t willingly take free samples of it either. However, he does try the stand which has the Fried Chicken and Leeks Dumplings he buys every other week because even though it has leeks, it’s wonderfully fried and Sehun lives for fried food.

With half-filled stomach, Sehun nibbles on the tips of his fingers and takes a break on a couch that’s being sold for $599 (but its $500 with a coupon). Then, a boy in a red vest comes by and tells Sehun, “Get your fucking feet off the couch, kindly. If my boss asks, I remembered to say please.” Decidedly, Sehun falls in love at first sight with doe eyes and frizzed blonde hair. He takes one look at the nametag and he knows that Luhan is the one. (He’s always wanted mixed babies.)(Does it count if they’re both Asians?)(Sehun doesn’t really care.)(It’s love.)

Sehun takes his feet off the couch, but he also removes his entire body and almost makes to move to follow Luhan but instead, he takes a sharp turn towards Jongin’s table.

“Tell me everything you know about Luhan if you want to live.” Jongin is in the middle of cutting up some pork with a large pair of scissors and he dons a confused expression while the people in line frown impatiently.
Belatedly, Jongin croaks a confused “What?” Obviously he’s hopeless at realizing that Sehun has found his true love, so Jongin is taken off the list of Sehun’s possible Best Man for his wedding that will take place in May under a forest canopy. Jongin can be one of those people that help take photos of Sehun frolicking with Luhan and the birds as they wave to their friends and family before going to their honeymoon in Hawaii. Only, that will never happen because Luhan doesn’t like him because he put his shoes on the stupid $599 couch.

“You’re so stupid,” Sehun grumbles unhappily. Oblivious to the inner turmoil in Sehun’s head, Jongin balks at the insult.

“Excuse me? I’m getting a better grade than you are in Trig, you asshole.” Jongin snaps his scissors angrily while he tries to evenly portion the samples that disappear faster than he can put them out.

“I need you to get me a job at Costco. You need to tell your manager that this is my dream job. I’ve always wanted to work at Costco,” Sehun says with more emotion than he has in a long time. Jongin frowns confusedly.
“You have a job and you get paid more than I do.” Jongin says slowly, like Sehun doesn’t understand his father owns a corporation. “I think your dad will kill you if you tell him you want to work for minimum wage-and have being a Costco employee your dream job.”

Sehun juts a hip out and crosses his arms, unfazed. “So?”

“You have the social skills of a cucumber.”

“…”

“Your father is literally Eugene Krabs.”

“…”

“You’re going to regret this.”

“I know.” Sehun hates social interaction; he’s going to quit the second he manages to get Luhan’s number.



It’s honestly not hard to get the job because Kris likes Joonmyun, who happens to be Sehun’s brother. Sehun happens to have Joonmyun’s number and Kris happens to have an opening for a cashier. Sehun’s never had to be a cashier before, but he has plenty of experience of being an accountant’s assistant so he’s at least good with numbers. The good thing about being a cashier is that even though he meets a bunch of people every day, he has a job that involves minimal interaction with people. The only time he maybe touches someone is when they exchange money. The bad thing is that Luhan serves samples and Sehun can only look forlornly at Luhan smiling at little kids while he serves them cut up strips of Fruit Roll-Ups from a distance. (Jongin is too far away to make fun of his misery.)

“So, do you come here often,” Sehun asks nervously while he’s on break. Luhan eyes widen like he’s not sure why Sehun is asking this. Timidly, Sehun takes a strip of Fruit Roll-Up off Luhan’s plate and sticks it in his mouth.

“You realize I work here right?”

“I’m nineteen.”

“I’m twenty-three and I will punch you if you don’t leave.” Belatedly, Jongin tells Sehun that Luhan wanted to get promoted to a cashier. Sehun is a cashier. He puts one and one together and realizes that he probably made a bad impression with Luhan. Grumpily, he steals a sample cup of the Naked Juice Jongin had been serving and he downs it moodily in one go.

“Get back to work,” Kris says. Sehun uses the image of Luhan in a white wedding tux to motivate himself for the rest of the day.



The next day, Sehun irons out his red vest and puts his hair in his fancy business updo that requires more wax and hair gel than he would like. He’s hoping Luhan will be impressed enough to agree to go on a date with him. He also brings a high quality bouquet of roses just in case Luhan is unconvinced. He also tells Kris that he would enjoy serving samples of Roasted Seaweed, which is conveniently close to where Luhan serves Chicken Noodle Soup from cans. Sehun has never understood the novelty of canned soups when the one at the bistro next to his university is so much more quality. Jongin stares at Sehun sympathetically because he is convinced Luhan will never like Sehun.

Sehun is resolutely undeterred, ripping open packages of seaweed. Luhan looks at Sehun strangely, looking away when they make eye contact. Luhan doesn’t like Sehun, who looks at him murderously every single day. (It must be because Luhan told the attractive stranger to keep his shoes off the couch.) Unknowingly, Sehun believes he’s making progress with Luhan who seems flustered with his presence.



It isn’t until a week later that Sehun gets comfortable enough to wear his hair down and pair it with a wrinkly tee under his crumpled red vest that Luhan thinks Sehun might be a little cute.
Then Sehun says, with a sleepy smile, “Hyung, your fly’s open.” Luhan goes from a skipping heart to an angry flush of embarrassment. He looks down, but his pants are completely fine. He looks back up with a hint of annoyance on his face to find Sehun scampering off to Jongin with an obnoxiously loud amount of giggling. Sehun never fails to weird Luhan out and people thought Luhan was weird. Kyungsoo seems to think Sehun is fine, but all that does is disappoint Jongin and confuse Luhan.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“You think Jongin’s strange, but you don’t think Sehun’s strange?”

“The first time Jongin introduced himself to me, he pirouetted and circled around me until I introduced myself back to him. True story.” Kyungsoo leaves with a piece of brownie from Luhan’s table and goes back to work while Luhan scratches his head. Sometimes, he thinks Kyungsoo’s the only other employee that’s sane.  (Then again, Kyungsoo likes to go to collect Life Insurance pamphlets as a hobby and there has to be something a little wrong with a person like that.)



“I’m Sehun,” Sehun says one day. Luhan looks up from where he’s cutting pizza rolls into halves. Sehun doesn’t look like he’s about to leave Luhan’s table until he gets an answer.

“I know,” Luhan says. They’ve been working at the same Costco for a little under a month now, so Luhan doesn’t see why Sehun felt like it was necessary to introduce himself again. Sehun fidgets with his vest, staining with the oil from the burritos he was serving earlier. (People actually buy what Sehun advertises despite his lack of social skills just because he’s a little handsome.)(That’s okay, because people buy what Luhan advertises because he’s pretty and smart enough to choose to give out what people actually like.)

“Yes,” Sehun says vaguely. Luhan clears his throat, watching Sehun blink up at him from underneath bleached bangs.

“And?”

“Your hairstyle looks nice on you today,” Sehun mumbles. Luhan fights the smile crawling on his face because Sehun is adorable and if Luhan’s right, Sehun’s not as murderous as he thought he was. Sehun’s still just as weird though, Luhan definitely thinks Sehun’s still weird.

“Thanks,” Luhan says amusedly. His hair is nothing special, he just tied his bangs up like an apple stem. If anything, it should make Luhan look even less appealing-but more clean conscious. “Did you want to try it out?” Sehun’s face flames red, looking appalled at the suggestion but his face quickly fades into nonchalance.

“Maybe,” Sehun says, but Luhan can hear the hope in his voice which makes Luhan think maybe Sehun’s a little not all there. Luhan puts down his scissors, and takes off his pair of disposable gloves before reaching into his pocket and taking out a small elastic. Sehun bends down a little, away from the food while Luhan bundles up Sehun’s bangs and ties it. Sehun looks a little silly, if Luhan’s being honest. He’s got this dopey smile on his face and his bangs flop a little to the side instead of standing straight up. If Luhan has to admit it to himself, Sehun is quite pretty.

Then Sehun scampers off to brag to Jongin about his new hairstyle. He’s still weird, Luhan thinks, but he thinks this a little more fondly now.



The next day, Luhan’s sitting in the Staff Lounge during his break with a churro stuck in one side of his mouth while he spam texts Kris to use protection on his date with Joonmyun. Luhan receives one for every hundred message he sends; Kris says, “I’ll fire you.” Luhan pauses, deciding to send another message: “Extra small condoms are three dollars off this week. I think you need it.”

Kris sends him a text with a list of confrontational expletives that has Luhan laughing so hard he rolls off the couch and falls under a coffee table. Kyungsoo walks into the Lounge, clutching a Life Insurance pamphlet in his hand, and he takes one long look at Luhan before he lets out a suffering sigh.

“I think I’m the only sane one here,” Kyungsoo mutters.

“I’m assuming Jongin asked you out with that?” Kyungsoo stiffens, nodding reluctantly.

“I don’t know why I said yes when I already have this one.” Poor Jongin, Luhan thinks, less important than free infomercials.



Luhan ends up telling the story to Jongin later during his shift and laughs outright in Jongin’s face when he wilts at the thought of having gave something Kyungsoo doesn’t really care about. Then again, Kyungsoo has almost every Life Insurance pamphlet in Korea.

“Maybe you should just get him something he actually needs.”



A day later, Luhan finds a $599 couch shipped to his apartment with an invitation to go to the movies-stuck in a bouquet of Costco Churros wrapped in oily hundred dollar bills that are attracting trails of ants to the front of Luhan’s home.



“You’re so dumb,” Luhan tells Sehun the next time they go to work. Sehun pouts, handing Luhan a sample cup of popcorn while they watch the latest movie to go on Blu-Ray and DVD on the classiest TVs front of Costco.

“I thought you would like it,” Sehun sulks. Luhan throws popcorn in Sehun’s face because he’s so fucking weird and intertwines their buttery hands. They’ve only got half an hour of break time after all.



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a/n:
-for lisa a v belated birthday gift
-unbetaed because my beta is busy lately and i don't want to bother her until she's free u.u

pairing: jongin/kyungsoo, pairing: wufan/joonmyun, !fanfic, pairing: luhan/sehun

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