painfully indeed. hence all my tears shed yesterday at work, after getting shitty notes from said "friend". the whole last 2 weeks, have just been overwhelming. this newer co-worker came and said to me yesterday "we just wear our hearts on our sleeves, so its hard to not care" i let him know that i try to NOT show that about myself, i work hard and i guess i am not hiding it. at all. i have learned more about myself in the last 2 years than ever, and i keep thinking how strange it is to be 32 and not know yourself. i've always thought i knew myself. other than in the biblical sense. hahaha. uh.
Ape, I know how it is. I have no one to talk to about things. I have been trying to make sense of things, but that isn't possible. I found a cd that Ed's band in North Carolina made. I bought it and I'm waiting to receive it. I sent this to you in an email, but I want you to smile. It definitely shows Ed's playful side. It was good seeing you and having so many people that shared our pain. You're hard work really does show. You're looking really good.
The band is Penny Royalty and I found it at CD baby. I googled Ed Kinser and North Carolina and it came up. I found the youtube video through google, then Ed's brother's blog. It's all been part of my path to trying to figure it out, even though I know that isn't possible. At least I feel like he's closer. I still keep seeing him in my mind's eye. You'll get through the next few days. I know how rough it must be with the coming anniversary and the past two weeks. I was extremely bummed on Sunday. This too shall pass. Love ya
sorry i miss you while you were in dallas. i was in austin! go figure, eh?
btw, i agree with holly. it sounds like you're working on yourself and doing a great job! you know, i've had the same problem with people asking my opinion on things over and over, and when i finally tell them, they don't like it! why did they think i kept my mouth shut in the first place? sometimes i don't get people.
pinche "friends". just don't fucking ask me assholes, is that a hard concept to get?? or if i give you my opinion, don't tell someone else what i thought, if they want to fucking know, i will tell THEM. then there can't be mis-read ideals.
i am sorry we missed one another, i hope things are improving..
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i am trying, and it's hard, because i am such a fucking mediocre person.
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hence all my tears shed yesterday at work, after getting shitty notes from said "friend".
the whole last 2 weeks, have just been overwhelming.
this newer co-worker came and said to me yesterday "we just wear our hearts on our sleeves, so its hard to not care" i let him know that i try to NOT show that about myself, i work hard and i guess i am not hiding it. at all.
i have learned more about myself in the last 2 years than ever, and i keep thinking how strange it is to be 32 and not know yourself. i've always thought i knew myself. other than in the biblical sense. hahaha. uh.
Reply
I know how it is. I have no one to talk to about things. I have been trying to make sense of things, but that isn't possible. I found a cd that Ed's band in North Carolina made. I bought it and I'm waiting to receive it. I sent this to you in an email, but I want you to smile. It definitely shows Ed's playful side. It was good seeing you and having so many people that shared our pain.
You're hard work really does show. You're looking really good.
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i wrote Z and told her, she was upset.
Thanks for the kind words about my hard work. i have a long way to go, but it's still something for me to celebrate!
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You'll get through the next few days. I know how rough it must be with the coming anniversary and the past two weeks. I was extremely bummed on Sunday. This too shall pass.
Love ya
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btw, i agree with holly. it sounds like you're working on yourself and doing a great job! you know, i've had the same problem with people asking my opinion on things over and over, and when i finally tell them, they don't like it! why did they think i kept my mouth shut in the first place? sometimes i don't get people.
Reply
just don't fucking ask me assholes, is that a hard concept to get?? or if i give you my opinion, don't tell someone else what i thought, if they want to fucking know, i will tell THEM. then there can't be mis-read ideals.
i am sorry we missed one another, i hope things are improving..
Reply
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