beyondtherift - Journal entry - failed lock
They are gone.
The children are gone.
They're gone.
I-
The children are gone.
I know I was merely the one who raised him. His father has been gone for a very long time. I was merely-
I should be grateful. He is with his father and his mother. Surely, they are keeping watch over him. Surely, he is at rest and finally at peace. Surely, he has found that happiness that always seemed to elude him. Surely, that pain that was born in the sight of the theatre has left him.
Rachel. She is with her mother. I lost her again. I should be grateful. She is safe. We carry those we love in our hearts.
The children are gone.
I cannot seem to see past that.
What is there to live for when all that you loved is gone? I know there are those who would say that to live is a gift. There is much to live for, they would say. I lived to watch over him, and I lived so that he would not be alone. I lived so that he would never doubt that there is one who believed in him always, and so he would see that there was truly the capability for unconditional love.
I never married. I never fathered a child, not biologically. I do not regret these things. There is no one that can convince me my love and my care was less.
And yet...it was not, apparently, enough.
I could not protect them. I have failed. I failed them.
What am I? I am lost. I am the desert, and the rain is not coming.
The children are gone.
The children are gone.
They're gone.
I-
The children are gone.
I know I was merely the one who raised him. His father has been gone for a very long time. I was merely-
I should be grateful. He is with his father and his mother. Surely, they are keeping watch over him. Surely, he is at rest and finally at peace. Surely, he has found that happiness that always seemed to elude him. Surely, that pain that was born in the sight of the theatre has left him.
Rachel. She is with her mother. I lost her again. I should be grateful. She is safe. We carry those we love in our hearts.
The children are gone.
I cannot seem to see past that.
What is there to live for when all that you loved is gone? I know there are those who would say that to live is a gift. There is much to live for, they would say. I lived to watch over him, and I lived so that he would not be alone. I lived so that he would never doubt that there is one who believed in him always, and so he would see that there was truly the capability for unconditional love.
I never married. I never fathered a child, not biologically. I do not regret these things. There is no one that can convince me my love and my care was less.
And yet...it was not, apparently, enough.
I could not protect them. I have failed. I failed them.
What am I? I am lost. I am the desert, and the rain is not coming.
The children are gone.