part 107 jellybeans in the jar

[aphanon_meme]

I was at a fair, and they were having a contest. It said, 'Guess how many jelly beans there are in the jar, and you win a prize.' And I was like 'Ah c'mon, man, lemme just have some. Tell you what, you guess how many I want... if you said a handful, you are right.'... I love Mitch Hedberg. Anyway. Good job breaking LJ! Remember when like... 1

Comments

[palaiomator]

[a plate of Turkish Delight is sitting suspiciously in the middle of the meme]

[attaturk]

[just walking along when he spies the plate, all alone with no one to claim it]

[looks right]

[looks left]

...Huh! If no one else is gonna have any!

[goes in to pick it up]

[tourkokratia]

*points for Mama*

There he is! There's Sadiq!!

[attaturk]

[has no idea you're there, too focused on your raging mother]

[tourkokratia]

*popcorn.gif*

[palaiomator]

THERE YOU ARE, YOU-- YOU--!

[LUNGES OUT FROM BEHIND THE BUSH, WEAPONRY COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN]

[PUNCHES HIM SQUARE IN THE CHEST]

[attaturk]

[falls backwards from the hit and the shock]

Oi, what the hell--?!

[scrambles to his feet, backing away]

Some kinda wild woman?!

[palaiomator]

[yelling through angry tears]

What have you been doing to my poor son, you monster?!

[aims a blow at his stomach]

[attaturk]

[panics]

Haven't done a thing to anyone's damn son!

[sucks his gut in and tries to sidestep away]

Oi, watch it, lady!

[palaiomator]

[garbled ancient greek curses go here]

Yes you did! You have at some poin--

[notices osmaniac]

Pros Theôn', another one?!

have to get at homework soon orz

[attaturk]

[realizes who you are with dawning horror]

Nah, haven't touched that bra--!!

[follows your gaze to his Ottoman self]

Well, uhhh, realized the error of my ways! All set here, go after him!!

[tries to slip away]

aww D: I'll let you go soon, thanks for playing along!

[palaiomator]

Oh really? You think you can just say "oops I'm sorry" and be done with it?!

If so, you've got another thing coming, kid.

[prods him in the chest for added emphasis]

[attaturk]

[stares at his chest, then at you in disbelief]

...

...Look. Got nothin' to do with that brat of yours. Not my responsibility!

[palaiomator]

Odd haircurl at nape of neck? Check!

White mask--which looks ridiculous, by the way--on face? Check!

Same guy who I took to be a harmless kid living the peninsula over when I was younger? Check!

[folds arms and glares]

I-I mean, I suppose it isn't directly you who did it, but you still... did... back then...

[attaturk]

[grumbles at the list of his shortcomings, but overlooks them for now]

Doesn't count! Makes you feel any better, the brat does get his... [fumbles over the word 'independence'] ...his own damn place!! We've been friendly! ...Friendlier! Kinda.

I'll let you go do your homework, Mama wouldn't wanna get in the way of education ;3;

[palaiomator]

I... he... well, I-I'm glad he does, but... why'd you have to drag it out so long?

[weak shove]

Ahh, I have a bigger fish to fry, one with a silly hat, to boot. Consider yourself let go with a warning, Sadiq.

[harrumphs and goes to battle the Ottoman with renewed vigor]