part 188 double rainbows

[aphanon_meme]

Umm... hi? Not dead, relatively okay. I'm sorry to make people worry - there are days, like everyone, where I am very busy or unable to get online a lot or at all. It hasn't even been 24 hours - trust me, unless I'm gone for 5 day+ then I am okay, relatively.

I love you guys, enjoy part 188!

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*There is a rules page here. Please read it before

Comments

[maple_sickles]

[stalks around him predatorily, fingering the fishing wire in his pocket...]

[what a fantastic opportunity]

[his grin is manic and terrifying]

[maple_sickles]

[wants very, very much to slug him in the nose]

[perhaps you would be enough to jar him back into regular old Canada... if it were even possible anymore. Regular Canada's off on a canoe trip]

I pity you. Your delusion is causing the whole world to suffer. You act like a blind giant, a sleeping elephant. You trample, crush, ruin so much, and you care so very little.

[absolutely loathes that grin on his face... he entertains thoughts of just slicing America's lips off]

And you wax prosaic all of a sudden. Like that makes you any less of a criminal.

[timesa_changing]

Elephants can't trample stuff if they're sleeping.

[here, have a little American wit and another grin, like his head isn't starting to ache from the pulling]

You pity me? Shit, now I really know you're not my brother. My brother wouldn't pity me. He might call me a dumbshit, but he's been right there by my side damn near any time we needed help. You don't wanna help. You just wanna be in control.

Oh, so I'm a criminal now, am I? Bring me up on charges then. What are my crimes? And if I'm so destructive, why would you wanna throw in with me? [shifts some, testing for any give in the ropes] I'm pretty destructive. I'd be worse with more power, huh?

don't you judge my flawed metaphors

[maple_sickles]

You really don't understand, do you?

I don't want control. I want to neutralize your toxic influence. You have three hundred million souls working day to day, entrenching themselves in ruinous debt, fooling themselves into a false sense of contentment with high-fructose corn syrup and processed cow-flesh and grease.

You are the great tragedy of this earth, America.

If you joined us, your people would be provided for and live and work in peace. And you, you, could stop corrupting the world an consuming like a giant mouth that will never be sated.

We could truly be brothers. We'd be the same.

[twists his hair more, looks a bit upset]

nooo, never. <3 it's America, pfft.

[timesa_changing]

Oh yeah, you sound like a born leader right there, Mattie. You want to neutralize my toxic influence. Is that a threat, or are you comin' on to me? Can you say it with a more...I don't know...Bolshevik accent? Really try this time! Did that baseball to the brain jar somethin' loose?

[can't act like that doesn't sting though, as many times as he's heard insults along those lines]

I keep tellin' you, we're making improvements. Ain't in leaps and bounds, but we're trying to build a better future for them.

Yeah, okay, I hear your delusion, fantasy bullshit and I hear you leavin' out the truth, all of what happens to the rest when the common man rises up. But what happens when it collapses? When the government and economy falls in on itself from lack of fair structure? We're fucked, that's what. No thanks.

[winces again, this time hissing softly]

;3;

[maple_sickles]

[growls in frustration--this is not going to end in a re-education, he's starting to get that]

Listen to yourself.

I'm not threatening you... one day you'll see. One day you'll come to me, begging me to share the load with you. Because it will be too much. And you'll be too broken.

I'm offering liberation.

[gives hair one final tug before letting go]

It's true the Family has failed in the past. But so have you, so you've said. We're working for a better tomorrow where nobody needs to want for anything. Who says the government can't be fair? Who says the People won't lead better lives? You're standing in the way,America, and it's hurting your own people.

[He almost looks sad. Almost.]

[timesa_changing]

You're offering - ouch, Matt. Only girls pull hair. - something completely asinine that's bound to fail like it did the last...however many time someone tried this shit.

This is the 21st century, bro, get with the times. Your people won't let any communist uprising happen the same as mine wouldn't. Wake up, Canada. This is tired old shit that will never work. The world isn't how it was when Marx was around. People aren't afraid to stand up for what's right anymore.

[takes this slightly less crazy expression positively - somehow - and sits up some]

The government can be fair. Just not yours. You take away structure and ownership, everything that classifies a person as an individual. Like the world won't revolt against that. I'm not hurting anyone. I'm just protecting them 'til you come to your senses.

You'd hurt them more than me.

sry, went to a dinner ;3;

[maple_sickles]

[Fine, he won't pull your hair anymore. Punches you in the nose!]

It's...

You're HOPELESS! You're ruining the world and you are deluding yourself...

[laughs humorlessly, and tugs at his own hair a bit]

You're absolutely mad.

nppp~ <3

[timesa_changing]

[was in the middle of trying to look like he was listening, damn it]

[jerks back in pain, following the momentum to flop onto his back and squirm, groaning]

Damn it! ...damn it, that's...that's some right hook you got there. You been holdin' back all this time? [sniffs and tries a watery laugh]

World's been at odds for centuries. I don't have sole responsibility for nothin'. I ain't the mad one here either. Look at you. You let Ivan put some earworm in your head and now you're damn near as batshit as he is!

<3 <3

[maple_sickles]

[hit a trigger-switch, you have]

[his head lolls back, then snaps straight up fast enough to look like whiplash]

Quite so. I only wish to one day be as wise and capable as the Motherland.

It's quite typical of your warmongering nature, America, that you think that the world must be at odds, that it needs conflict.

That is such defective thinking.

[timesa_changing]

[finds it a little too difficult to sit straight up again. Those ropes are making it hard, that's all. Nothing to do with his physique... He just rolls onto his side a little]

[...and immediately regrets doing so after catching whatever that strange movement was]

Oh man. Hey, Canada, since Russia's got his hand so far up your ass, when he flips somebody the bird, does it come out your nose or what?

The Motherland? Are you insane? Has France heard you say that yet? Must not have. He'd snatch your ass bald for that. And I never said it needs conflict. It doesn't! It needs peace, and not the kinda peace your...government or whatever you wanna call it thinks it can provide.

[maple_sickles]

We are moving towards peace much faster than you ever could.

[can't disguise the shiver of utter bliss that passes through him at the idea of Russia in him, all around him, safe blissful anonymity and sameness...]

Tell me what you think you're doing, aside from bullying the nations you interact with and spending more money than you're worth?

[notes your slightly out--of-shape struggling with a cruel smirk]

[timesa_changing]

[snorts]

Naw, you're moving towards suppression. Using the common man to flatten the upper class for you, that way the...the ruling majority will be entirely in your favor. Makes it hard to piss people off when they think you can do no wrong. 'er some shit like that, I don't know how you crazy bastards think.

Is'at blood or snot? I can't tell. [props himself up on his elbows, trying and failing to wipe the blood off his face with his shoulder. Awkward.]

Half the money we spend goes to tryin' to help other countries! We're in debt 'cause of loans and shit too, y'know! We don't bully anybody...

[maple_sickles]

[leers]

Ideally in the end, we will all melt into glorious sameness. There will be no need for rulers; the People will speak for the People.

Blood, incidentally.

Blood.

[he likes blood. Good colour, that]

Trying to help other nations by subjugating them; forcing them to assimilate your culture and kowtow to your inevitable financial serfdom. It's disgusting.

[timesa_changing]

That's not even realistic. They'll start to divide, then riot, then overturn everything. Humans aren't always predictable, but I can guarantee you this one. They like their freedom.

Gross. It smells like old pennies. Fine, you got payback for the baseball. Don't try it again, man. That really stung. 'sides, you know I can whip your ass any old time.

...I don't get what cow toes have anything to do with this, but I do know that's horse shit. People come to America from all over because they're free to have their own culture here! There's no religious oppression or 'forced assimilation' or whatever.

[maple_sickles]

[LAUGHS at this, so hard it's nearly an ear-splitting shriek]

You actually believe that! You actually believe your people are free! Oh, but that only compounds the tragedy of it all!!!

[seriously, he's slapping his knees and bellowing out laughter from the very depths of him]

You poor, poor idiot.

Actually LISTEN to your people once in a while, eh?

[America looks much better with more red on him.