Best I Ever Had - Chapter Four
Chapter 4: You're just the best I ever had
"It's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had"
Brian found himself in the middle of an anxiety attack in the middle of the airport.
As soon as he hung up the phone on Mickey, Brian tried to get a place on the next plane for Pittsburgh. He could have sent his assistant handle it, but he didn't want anyone to know. It was at these times that he longed for Cynthia, she had always been discreet.
Brian, also known as Mr. I-Don't-Do-Regrets, had many regrets and every one of them involved Justin. Starting with not having kept in touch, but at the time he believed he was doing what was best. Justin was supposed to be fine, or at least alive. He did not need Brian for that, right? Wrong.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Brian rejected the idea of calling Jennifer, he was sure she was not his biggest fan at the moment, so Daphne was the obvious choice. He would deal with it when he arrived to the loft.
Five hours later
After two full queen outs that would make Godiva proud, and three screams to both the airport security as the taxi driver, Brian finally arrived to the loft.
Brian didn't know what to expect after being away from the loft for so long, but it certainly was not what he saw. The loft didn't look abandoned, actually seemed more alive than when Brian lived there alone. Almost looked like when Justin moved ... No, Brian could not afford to get lost in recollections.
Brian dialed Daphne as he wandered over the loft looking for something, not knowing for sure what. The first attempt ended up in voicemail, just like the second.
'Daphne, it's me, Brian. Do you know where Justin is? Call me as soon as you can. And please do not say anything to anyone. '
Brian went to bed while debating whether he should wait for Daphne or forget his reservations towards Jennifer and call her.
The bed was made, but not with the sheets he had left. These smelled like Justin. And it was involved in Justin’s smell, a smell that he was supposed to have already forgotten, that Brian fell asleep. And had the best sleep in the last couple of months.
When he woke up with his morning wood on evening, as was routine, he reached for the top drawer in search of Kleenex. The texture of the paper that came to hand wasn’t nearly as smooth as the tissues. The curiosity was greater than his dick’s desperate cry for relief, and leaning over the drawer, he saw the rolls of notes and sealed envelopes addressed to him.
If Brian was feeling desperate about the news of the death of Justin, at the end of the reading of the first letter, Brian lost all will to live. Yes, Justin breathed, but the blonde did only that.
Knowing that he had to help Justin, Brian went to his laptop and started google all about the accident in St. James.
The moon was already high when he heard the characteristic click of the door. Entering, crestfallen, there he was his sunshine. He looked awful, but still, it was his Sunshine.
Justin didn’t give Brian a thought as he headed for the kitchen, so Brian cleared his throat.
'Justin.'
As if struck by a whip, Justin lifted his head and looked into his eyes, and for a moment Brian saw the Justin that he had left in Pittsburgh.
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