Anything-Can-Happen Thursday, for Wizefics (TBBT, PG13) (2/4)

[lilyayl]

Title: Anything-Can-Happen Thursday (2/4)
Author: LilyAyl
Recipient: wizefics
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 13,264
Spoilers (if applicable): General show
Warnings (if applicable): None I can think of.
Summary: After the boys accidentally cause aliens to invade the Earth, Penny helps start the Resistance to save the world.

"It grows so cold."
~Eowyn, RotK (film)


Penny awoke from her dreams of lying on a shadow-free beach with Jeff stretched out beside her, to the noise of her alarm clock. Yawning, Penny reached for her lap top. While she waited for it to boot up, she reached up and stretched. Outside, a street busker was tuning his guitar and getting ready for the morning crowds that would line up for transport to the Woods. Many would stay grounded there for the week, going up each morning and back down each night, until the weekend when they'd return to their families. Some, Penny knew, would even stay in her old apartment building. She wondered sometimes if her furniture had been left as it was, and what people might think.

Penny logged into the game forums and posted, asking for people to join her on a quest to the southern mines. She only needed three more people, she wrote, including a magic-user and a dwarf with mine knowledge. The southern mines were a newbie area and provided little in way of reward or experience. She'd be surprised if anyone other than a Ranger responded.

Penny checked the boards for new messages. Leah had left an apology for her while still pointing out that Jeff was the best they had. Unlike some others, Jeff didn't take dumb chances. He knew when to hide and when to act. Penny knew he had a good bluff, she'd coached him herself. Even so, getting in or out of the Woods required transport, which meant Elves. His nose, large, beaked, and crooked, meant he was far more recognizable than anyone in his position ought to be. Penny deleted Leah's message, jotted down a new one from the Shire, their largest community in California, and turned her computer off.

When she went to open her shop later that morning, after breakfast and checking on her refugees, Penny froze in the doorway between the kitchen and dining area. She stared out the large, glass window and door, uncertain which way she should run or what she should do.

For, standing outside and watching her was Leonard, flanked by two loose-haired Elves. Penny made herself smile through her panic, and crossed the room to unlock the front door.

"Hello, Penny," Leonard said, almost sheepishly. He squinted up at her through his glasses and offered a lop-sided smile. "Long time no see."

Penny cut through the awkwardness with a hug. "You're here," she said.

"Yeah." He patted her back. "I've been looking for you," he said. "You moved. I thought--"

"I had to," she replied, lining up excuses if he pressed her.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked. "I've heard good things about your coffee."

"Please," Penny said. She stepped back and directed Leonard to a booth, but he shook his head and chose a table for four. Leonard sat down in the seat furthest from her. He tapped his fingers lightly against the laminated photographs. One. Two. Three. Four. She noticed that his fingers moved in the shape of a square. If the Elves weren't there, she could almost pretend she was back at the Cheesecake Factory and Leonard had arrived early.

"Would you like some water while you look over the menu?" Penny asked. Any moment now, Raj would arrive with Howard and Sheldon in tow. Raj would quietly sit across from Leonard. One. Two. Three. Four.

"What do you recommend, Penny?" Leonard asked. His fingers were still tapping, but this time he was skipping beats. One. Wait. Wait. Four. He glanced at Penny, then down to his fingers. Penny swallowed, hoping that the taps were meaningless or, at the very least, wrong.

"We have a great strawberry pie. Vegan," she added, remembering Leonard's lactose intolerance.

"I'll take a slice of that."

Penny smiled at the Elves. "And for you fine gentlemen?"

"Decaf black coffee," one said.

"The same," said the other.

Penny nodded, unsurprised. Elves always ordered decaf or orange juice to drink.

"Do you need something to drink, Leonard?" Penny asked.

"Just water," Leonard said.

Penny smiled and retreated to her kitchen. Her heart felt like it was going to claw out of her chest. Leonard was alive. And Raj. But Howard and Sheldon-- she thought of the gaps in Leonard's tapping, and prayed to the god she didn't believe that he hadn't been indicating who was dead and who was alive.

The back door opened and David, one of her employees walked in. He removed his ear buds; she could hear the pound of drums from across the small room. "Morning," he said.

"Good morning. We have guests."

David pulled on an apron and moved to the sink to wash his hands. "Oh? Who?"

"Two Elves and an old friend."

David turned off the water and dried his hands. "What kind of friend?" he asked.

"One of the Four," Penny said.

David's jaw tightened. The guys were not popular with anyone in the Resistance. "Why is he here?"

"I don't know. Take them coffee. Two decafs and a water. Be nice."

"Why don't you--"

Penny held up her hands. "I can't stop them shaking," she said. "I thought he was dead. I thought they were all dead."

"Sorry," David said. He took the half full coffee pot from the maker and quickly replaced it with a fresh one. A couple drops sizzled on the burner. Penny gave him a tray to put the mugs, glass, and carafes on.

Penny breathed deep and regained control. When David returned to the kitchen, her hands were still.

"The guy out there," he said, "wants to know if you remember when you gave Sheldon alcohol."

The memory rose without prompting. "Yeah, I snuck it into his glass, because he was being a jerk and wouldn't order-- oh." Penny stopped, her gaze on the coffee makers.

She took the top pot, filled with regular coffee, and carefully poured it into the decaf pot below.

"What are you doing?" David asked.

"Experimenting."

When David took out the slice of cold, strawberry pie for Leonard, Penny had him take the mixed pot of coffee as well. The bell over the door chimed. Penny smiled and walked out to the dining room. David was filling the mugs. Elves drank fast and often; Penny hoped both mugs had been empty or nearly so.

She turned her attention to her latest customer, and her smile became real. Halbarad was one of the best. Penny knew little concerning his life before the possibly-Thursday that had changed everything, not even his true name. He was a good guy, though, and she was glad he had responded to her request so quickly. She guided the man to a booth far from the Elves. "Good to see you, Hal."

"Lovely as ever, Wyn. I heard you had some merchandise you'd like to move?"

"You move fast," Penny said.

"Lucky timing."

"I suppose so. Would you like to take a look later?" She emphasized the last word.

"Well, I could eat. Coffee and toast?"

"Coming right out," Penny said. David was prepping for lunch in the kitchen. "Did Leonard say anything else?" Penny dropped two slices of bread into a toaster.

"No, but he looked worried when that customer walked in."

"I wish I knew what he was planning." She glanced out the small window in the kitchen door and gasped when one of the Elves slumped over in his seat. The other followed suit shortly after, his head slamming forward onto the table.

Penny ran out into the dining area, flipped the sign to closed, and tugged down the blinds. Then she turned to Leonard. "What the hell was that?"

Leonard glanced worriedly at Hal, but Penny cleared her throat and glared at him. "Caffeine makes them fall asleep," he said, apologetically.

"You just put me into danger," Penny said, anger lashing through her like a whip, even as she made a mental note to pass the information along.

"Not you. Besides, they won't tell," Leonard said. "That would mean they'd have to admit coming here. People might think they wanted to braid their hair."

"What?" Penny asked.

"It's a Kirran thing," Leonard said, shrugging. "There are factions and that's actually not why I'm here."

"Why are you here?" Penny asked. "After over a two years of letting me think you all were dead, why are you here now?"

"I need to find someone," Leonard said. "I was told Eowyn could help and that she spends a lot of time here. I need to speak with Eowyn, Penny. It is a matter of life and death."

"A lot of things are these days," Penny said. "How do you know about Eowyn? And, who do you need to find?"

"Penny, this is important. I need to find out where Eowyn is before these two wake up."

Penny glanced at the slumbering Elves. "How long will they be out?" she asked.

"Ten or twenty minutes. We never really measured it."

Penny rolled her eyes. "David," she called back to the kitchen. "Bring me the med kit. I need stims and one of our egg timers"

Leonard looked confused. "Why would you need stims at a cafe?"

Hal snickered and stood up. "Hey, you mind if I take a look at the stuff now?" he asked.

"Go ahead," Penny said, as David brought the kit out to her. "Behind the cupboard."

"Posh." He walked back through the kitchen door. Penny prepped a needle, remembering the rudimentary education she'd gotten when she'd spent some time in the Shire with one of their doctors. She carefully inserted the needle into the Elf's vein and pushed out a half dose. Not wasting proper precautions on an Elf, she used the rest of the liquid on the other. Then she pressed the stopwatch button on the egg timer.

"Come on," she said. "Let's talk in the kitchen. I won't tell you a thing until you explain."

Leonard sighed, defeated, and followed her into the kitchen. Penny found a couple stools for them to sit on and she poured him a glass of water. "David, watch the Elves. Leonard, explain. Now."

"Fine. I guess it started back before they took us up into the City full time. You see, there are two kinds of Kirrans, well two main kinds."

"The point, Leonard."

"Right." Leonard took a drink of his water and started to talk.

"Can you believe it? We just made history!" Raj crowed. "We will never pay for drinks again."

Howard continued to stare at the equipment, his mouth loose and eyes wide. "We-- They--"

"I admit," Sheldon said, slowly. "I am rather startled that this worked. I wonder what will happen next."

"What happens next! What happens next?" Howard woke from his stupor. "We just alerted the galactic community that little Earth here is ripe for the plucking. Next they'll invade and we'll--"

"Relax, Howard. You saw their message. They want to share knowledge. They're friendly."

Howard locked his gaze on Leonard. "Right, because the larger, stronger, and better equipped force never tries to oppress the weaker."

"You're over-reacting."

"Be that as it may," Sheldon cut in. "We still require a plan of action. Gentlemen, we have done what no man has ever managed before. First contact. We shall need to establish a sound precedent."

"He's right," Raj said after a lull.

"Of course, I am."

"The Braiders were in control, then," Leonard explained. "They just want to understand all the tech they've inherited from a previous civilization, and they don't care much how they go about doing so. They're the ones who set up the treaties. Treaties, which, thanks to our little phone call, we were included in."

"Uh, guys?" Raj said, as he sat down at their usual table, even if it wasn't their usual day. Sheldon was fussing, but he had agreed that alien invasion did create severe enough circumstances to allow a break in their routine. The restaurant, like most of Pasadena, was directly beneath the shadow of the aerial city, and was dark, even with the lights overhead. "Remember how I said that no one else had noticed the bright, shiny object in the sky?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Turns out people were noticing. Government people."

"Uh oh, I don't like where this is going."

"They want to talk to us."

"You told them about us?!" Sheldon's voice cracked.

"I had to! They threatened to revoke my green card if I didn't."

"We'll figure something out," Leonard said. "Maybe they won't really be angry."

Sheldon snorted.

"The government was angry, of course, but the Kirran made it better by offering out some weapons and medicines. I never learned the full details. Anyway, that was when everything began to calm down. The Kirran were even talking about dividing their city into smaller ships so that sunny Southern California might be sunny again. But then, everything changed. The loose-haired faction took over. They prefer war over diplomacy. Knowledge shared is knowledge that can be used against them. That sort of thing. That's when Sheldon disappeared."

"I thought you said he got into an argument."

"He did. There was just more going on. Look, Penny, we wanted to tell you more about what was going on, but doing so would put you in danger." He offered her a half-smile. "I couldn't risk that."

Torn between gratitude for his caring and fury for his presumptuousness, Penny said nothing. Leonard sighed. "Well, after that, things got bad."

Penny raised her brows. Got bad? Then she realized, the guys had never seen the riots and protests when the Elves had come. They'd been too busy with the government and Elves and that whole mess. Leonard hadn't lived through the false peace when everyone was walking on a razor's edge, quiet, frozen, and waiting for one wrong cut. He hadn't been working when an Elf, furious over some slight, had attacked a new waitress with his hair, slicing her skin to shreds.

Once again, he knew nothing about the real world; and, she knew far too much. She sighed. This history lesson was wasting time. "Why do you want Eowyn?" she asked. "And how did you know to look for her here?"

"About six or so months ago, a man snuck into our labs. He told us about her."

The morning bells rang cheerily, an odd counterpoint to the heavy lead in Leonard's stomach. He walked down to his lab with Howard and a man from MIT that had been friendly the night before, though Leonard couldn't remember anything else about him. He seemed familiar though. Howard made small talk, but Leonard wasn't in the mood. Penny was gone. He'd been given her address the night before by someone who was clearly not her. First Sheldon. Now Penny. When they reached the lab, Leonard went immediately to his computer. The MIT professor, though, sprang suddenly into action, as if he had been switched on. The door locked, the cameras disabled, he turned back to them. Howard saw it first.

"You're from the Cheesecake Factory," he said. Leonard looked and then wondered how he'd not noticed sooner.

"You're the Nutso's friends."

"What are you doing here?" Howard asked.

"Stealing that piece of shiny you're working on," the man said. He inclined his head toward the table where a disemboweled communicator laid. The device was what had allowed the Kirran to learn English so quickly. It made the processing of language easier, allowing a trained person to learn any language swiftly. Though the others were being used to slowly learn the rest of the world's languages, they'd been given one for understanding. "And kidnapping one Professor Ramona Phillips." He named one of their top linguists.

"Does Dr. Phillips know you're going to kidnap her?" Leonard asked.

The man grinned. He was assembling a small box from pieces out of all of his pockets. "She requested our services herself. Something about stupid rules." The Kirrans guarded their mother tongue jealously, striking at anyone who tried to learn it.

"And is this a hobby for you?" Howard asked.

He shook his head. "No, but it needs doing." He put the communicator into the box and hid it all within a deep pocket in his jacket. "They're not on our side."

"No, they aren't."

The man looked at Leonard thoughtfully. "Tell you what," he said. "If you ever need kidnapping yourself, or if you want to find someone who's gone, talk to Eowyn. She likes to drink coffee in Rohan. She knows what's going on. Plus, she has safe places for hiding in if you need it."

"Eowyn, like from Lord of the Rings?"

The man checked out the door, his fingers rapidly pushing buttons and turning the locks and cameras back on. "Death to the Elves," he said, and was gone.

Penny smiled. "He barely made it out that time," she said. "He was covered in hairs afterward, some of them tipped with something nasty."

"And Dr. Phillips?" Leonard asked. He looked confused.

"Safe," Penny said. In Moria, with her communicator and the rest of their tech.

"Your Strider always manages to get by," Hal said from the doorway. Leonard twisted to look at him.

"He does indeed," Penny agreed. "So, can you do it?"

Hal glanced into the room behind him. "Shouldn't be a problem. Mines first?"

"Yeah. And if you just happen to brush past the Woods on your way back up..."

"I'll bring you any news I get. Keep safe, Wyn."

"You, too. Take the basement exit."

Hal nodded and then ducked back into the other room. Leonard looked between her and the empty doorway. "Wyn?" he repeated. He squeezed his eyes shut. "No, you're not Eowyn."

"And why not?" Penny asked.

Leonard sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I guess it doesn't matter." He pulled a tiny usb drive from a pocket hidden in his collar. "One of our hackers got this off Kirran computers. We think it might have something to do with their new plans. Their next step once they solidify their stronghold in the US. There is only one problem."

"What's that?" Penny took the drive from him. She'd not seen one so tiny before.

"We can't read it. No one the City knows more than a few words and phrases."

"I know someone." Penny slipped the drive into the seam of her bra until she could secret it upstairs. "Thanks," she said. She stood up and squeezed Leonard tightly in a hug. "I missed you."

Leonard's arms closed around her like a vise. "Be careful," he said. "I didn't know--"

Penny pulled away. She thought she understood. "Me, too," she said. Then, impulsively, she kissed his cheek.

Leonard looked pained. "Penny--" he started to say, but then David poked his head into the kitchen.

"They're starting to wake up."

Penny checked her timer. "Forty minutes. Not bad. Well, back to work." She returned to the dining area. Leonard followed close behind.

For the rest of the day, she could feel the small drive pressing against her breast. The possibilities excited her. For once, maybe, they'd really be a step ahead. Maybe they could find a way to make everything stop.

Everything. The closed lines of communication, lack of telephone service, the strict media message, the All's Well show for the rest of the world, the kidnapping of anyone with scientific aptitude who was stupid enough to display it, the strange disappearances of anyone who spoke out publicly-- the word was inadequate.

She just hoped the information was as good as Leonard insinuated. Too long had they been just stealing crumbs while the dinner continued undisturbed. The drive pierced her with promise, and, for the rest of the day, she smiled brighter than the ever-blocked sun.

That evening, after checking the guild board and taking down her quest post, Penny slid the jump drive into her computer. The little bubble popped up in the corner of her screen informing her that the drive would really work better in a faster slot. As Penny moved to click it close, she noticed her trash can melting down her screen. In fact, all of her desktop folders were melting like ice cream cones. Penny cursed and ripped the jump drive out of her computer, but the damage was done. She watched with horror as all the colors spread and blended together until, eventually, everything was black. She turned the computer off and on again, but nothing changed.

She'd lost everything.

In the moments that followed Penny prided herself on her calm. She could recover from this. She would recover from this. Leaning back against her headboard, Penny pressed her palms to her forehead and tried to think. What did she need to do first?

She needed to fix her computer. She needed to tell everyone what happened. She needed to track down and kill Leonard in the most painful way possible.

Leah. Leah had the other magically always connected computer and she'd want to know about the caffeine trick and the jump drive as soon as possible. Plus, the computer geek who had tricked out Penny's laptop always stayed close by her. Through Leah, Penny could be connected again. God, she'd only been without access for less than twenty minutes and she was already feeling withdrawal pains.

Penny collected the traitorous jump drive from where it had fallen onto the floor and placed it atop her computer on her nightstand. First, she would sleep. Then, she would call David in early and give him control of the cafe while she was gone. Then, she would go to Leah.

Her plan set, Penny turned off her light and lay down, but, with all her anger, adrenaline, and hurt, it was a long while before she slept.

When she finally awoke, Penny reached for her computer, only to remember the previous night. She glared at the drive, and then, got out of bed.

After dressing, Penny called David. That is, she called the central dispatch for her area, gave them David's phone code, and waited to be connected. She really, really missed the days when she could just punch a phone number in and have it all work out.

David answered on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Good morning, David. I need you to come in as soon as possible."

He groaned. "Twenty minutes."

"See you then," Penny said. She dropped the phone back into its cradle and began to pack. She didn't know how long she might end up staying with Leah, so it was best to be prepared. Penny paused over a short, blue dress. She trailed her fingers down the seam, feeling the soft fabric and remembering fun, dates, getting all dressed up just because. She tried to imagine her and Jeff out for dinner, her in this blue dress, and him with eyes only for her, but she couldn't. They didn't have time. She had to keep track of information, usher escapees and runaways from one place to the next; he had to be a Ranger, the Ranger, the only one who could break into central ship in the Woods and return alive and successful. Sighing, Penny shoved the hanger aside and pulled down the plain t-shirt behind it.

David arrived five minutes early. As soon as he saw the backpack on her shoulders and the key ring in her hands, he began to protest.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Penny held up the keys. "This one," she said, "opens the front door. This one does the back one. Keep the back door locked at all times. This one--"

He batted her hand aside. "I know what the keys are for. Why are you giving them to me?"

She ignored him. "This one is for the upstairs room, and these are for the back ones."

"What is going on?!" David demanded.

"I have to go," Penny said. "It might be best if you don't know where or why." She pressed the keys into his palm and folded his fingers over them.

"I don't know how to run this cafe, Eowyn." His use of her codename told Penny that he wasn't worried about coffee and inventory.

"You'll be fine," she said. "If anyone comes, send them to the Shire or, if the have kids, Texas. We can always move people around again later. Hal promised he'd stop back by after his trip to Moria. Tell him I've gone and that you need help. He'll stick around and make sure you have Rangers when you need them."

David looked down at the keys. "All right, but you better come back."

Penny smiled. "Of course I will." She ruffled his hair and he rolled his eyes.

Then they swapped cars and she left.

Part Three