Three Times Zack's Cats Cockblocked Rian (and Two Times They Didn't)
Title: Three Times Zack's Cats Cockblocked Rian (and Two Times They Didn't)
Author: Amanda, who goes by the aliasapodiopsys
Pairing: Zian (along cat!jalex and a couple other pairings that you can just look for yourself)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: "I am locking your gay cats in the bathroom for the next two hours, and then I am going to fuck you into oblivion," Rian announces as he walks into Zack's apartment the following Saturday, going over to the cat basket and completely scaring them out of their wits when he grabs the sleeping cats by the fur on the back of their necks and lifts them up, dropping them in the bathroom and then closing the door.
Disclaimer: um i own everyone except for the cats, they own themselves~
A/N: I'm actually really proud of this piece, I'm really pleased with the way it turned out, considering I wrote it in an hour and a half on my ipod at two in the morning. based loosely on Jamie's drawings of Zian with Jalex cats and Uncle Panini cat
enjoii~~~
tumblr is here, br0.
come sexually harras my message box.it's into that kind of thing~
The first time Rian gets cockblocked by Zack's cats, there is only one cat. It's his parents' cat, it's fat, it's name is Panini, and it literally does nothing all day.
Rian is seventeen years old, and him and Zack have been dating for a little under a month now. This is the first time they've gone any further than heavy making out, with hands under dipping shirts and clothes flying to the floor until Rian is naked on the bed with Zack kneeling in between his legs, tongue darting out to lick at a bead of pre come gathering at the head of his dick and Rian is beyond a shadow of a doubt about to get the best-blowjob-of-his-life-so-far.
(He has seen Zack eating bananas and seriously, he has no gag reflex or something because he eats practically the whole thing in one bite.
The first time he ever saw Zack he was eating a banana and thus he pursued a relationship with him based on the theory that Zack would give good head.)
Zack is about to close his lips around Rian's dick, his breath fanning out across over over-sensitized skin, when Panini jumps on the bed, rubbing against Rian's bare calves and seriously.
What. The. Fuck.
Zack straightens up and Panini purrs, weaving underneath Rian's knee and Rian could shoot that mother fucking cat.
"...Did you lose it?" Zack asks quietly and Rian lets out this frustrated groan, rubbing his face with his hands and nodding.
"Yes," is his muffled grunt, and Panini seems satisfied with that answer, hopping off the bed and pushing around a pile of laundry with his paws, settling into it with a self satisfied air, like, I am the Chastity Cat.
The second time is about four years later, and Rian still hasn't found out whether his Zack gives good head theory is true or not because they broke up a little bit after the first time, deciding that they were better of as 'just friends.'
They are both completely and utterly shitfaced because they just celebrated the fact that now that Zack is actually twenty one, they can both legally drink at the same time.
They're in Zack's apartment, Zack lying down on the sofa with Rian stretched out on top of him, making out messily. Rian's leg makes its way between Zack's and his thigh presses against Zack's prominent hard on, and he hasn't been this close to his friends boner since that one time in his bedroom.
Zack tips his head back and moans a little, rutting his hips up against Rian's and tries to remember why they broke up when they could have been doing this for years.
Rian slips his hands under Zack's shirt, still making out even though it's pretty much all tongue and teeth clacking against each other, but somehow it's perfectly okay. His thumbs brush over his nipples and Zack arches into the touch.
Then Rian hears this tiny little mewling noise, and at first he thinks it's Zack and at that point, it's kind of really hot. But then it doesn't stop and Rian pulls back with an irritated huff and there is this tiny black kitten on the floor, mewling pathetically at the two on the sofa.
"Fucking, Jack," Zack grits out, and Rian shoots him an irritated glare.
"My name is Rian," he says, and he isn't sure whether to be amused or annoyed that his best friend just said some other dudes name when they were about to most likely have sex for the first time until Zack says, "No you fucktard, the cat," and he wiggles his way out from under Rian and goes over to the kitten, picking him up petting him and cooing something quietly at him.
Rian stares at the two for a second and has the strongest sense of de ja fucking vu until he realizes in his still slightly intoxicated state that this is the second fucking time one of Zack's cats has cockblocked him.
By the time Zack is done with the kitten, Rian is passed out on the couch.
The third time is about four months later, and after a lot of Deep and Meaningful Talks about the Almost-Sex and their Friendship, Zack and Rian are dating again, although they've agreed to take it slow just to be careful.
And if Rian has calculated right, slow means that four months in should be the right amount of slow until sex is okay.
So he takes Zack out for a romantic Italian dinner, pays for the meal and a bottle of red wine and they end up back in the apartment, half a bottle of red wine coursing through each of their blood systems and making out heavily on the couch.
"We should - take this - to my - bedroom," Zack says between kisses, his lips already wet and swollen.
Rian agrees wholeheartedly, standing up and starting to pull Zack towards his bedroom, his hands starting to unbutton his shirt. By the time they make it to the bed, there is a path of clothes trailing in their wake and they're both down to their boxers.
Rian shifts so his thigh is in between Zack's, leaning down to press their lips together again and they make out for a while, building back up to where they had gotten in the living room.
When Rian pulls back and sits up, breathing, "Lube?" Zack points at a dresser on the opposite wall.
"Second drawer from the top left," he says, and Rian nods, getting up to go find it. He hears Zack shifting around behind him, the rustle of boxers being tossed to the floor and he closes his hands around the bottle of lube, taking it out and pushing the drawer closed.
On his way back to the bed, he notices two sets of eyes watching them from the doorway, and really, he is never, ever letting Zack go back to the animal shelter again because before he knows it he will have a Crazy Cat Man as his boyfriend.
"Your creepy fucking cats are watching us," he says in a hushed tone, bed dipping under his weight as he prays to any god listening that those cats will go away so that he can fuck his boyfriend in peace.
Zack props himself up on his elbows, looks over towards the door and then around the room. "Oh?" he says faintly, watching Rian slick his fingers up with the clear lubricant.
And then the two fucking devil cats start mewling from under the bed. Zack looks up at Rian and his eyes are huge, he is just as aware of the fact that the last two times they were cockblocked by his cats.
The gods are not listening to Rian. He does not get to fuck his boyfriend that night. Instead, he gets to cuddle in Zack's bed with the a cat on each of their chests, Jack on Zack's and Alex on Rian's.
"Your cats are all assholes," Rian says as he pets Alex's gold and brown fur, but he's not that mad, not really.
"My parents still have Panini, you know," Zack says mildly, scratching behind Jack's ears and laughing a little as the black cat purrs happily.
"I'm pretty sure your cats are gay," Rian says in return, watching Alex climb over to Zack's chest and bump noses with Jack, licking his face affectionately, and that is pretty gay behavior if he's ever seen any.
"Is that really so weird?" Zack asks, looking over at Rian and Rian laughs, shaking his head no as he takes Zack's hand and laces their fingers together.
"Not really," he says, and squeezes his hand lightly.
The forth time they almost have sex... they actually do have sex.
"I am locking your gay cats in the bathroom for the next two hours, and then I am going to fuck you into oblivion," Rian announces as he walks into Zack's apartment the following Saturday, going over to the cat basket and completely scaring them out of their wits when he grabs the sleeping cats by the fur on the back of their necks and lifts them up, dropping them in the bathroom and then closing the door.
Zack stares at him, open mouthed because it is like, ten o'clock on a saturday morning and he has barely had time for his coffee. "What?" he says, watching Rian dumbly when he comes back into the room.
"Well, I've already locked your cats in the bathroom, so now I've just gotta fuck you into oblivion," Rian says like it's the most obvious thing in the world, pulling Zack to his feet and kissing him deeply.
They make it to the bedroom, and Rian makes short work of their clothes (his clothes, really, Zack just wears pajama pants to bed and he hasn't gotten as far as putting on a shirt yet), not breaking the kiss they have going as his hand scrambles for the lube he put in the bedsidetable drawer the day before.
"What -" Zack says, turning his head to the side to look at the drawer and Rian laughs, low and rough.
"I shouldn't have to get up to look for lube," he says, and that's logical, okay.
Rian proceeds to fuck him with no less than three fingers, one hand splayed out on Zack's hip, keeping him from doing more than small dirty grinds down on to Rian's fingers.
"I'm good, Ri, I'm good," Zack gasps when Rian curls his fingers right into his prostate, and his vision is a little blurry and he is in danger of coming before Rian wants him too.
"Yeah?" Rian asks, his fingers stilling and Zack wets his lips, swallows and nods.
"Yeah," he breathes, and he hears the crinkle of a foil opening, the sharp intake of breath as his boyfriend rolls a condom over his cock, spreading lube over the rubber.
"Okay?" Rian asks quietly as he lines the necessary body parts up, eyes dark and intense and heavy on Zack's.
"O-kay," Zack's voice breaks as Rian pushes in, and this isn't the first time he's had sex with a guy, but it's the first time he's had sex with Rian, and it's not at all awkward like he expected their first time to be, back when they were seventeen, but it's a lot hot and intimate and good, heat pooling in his gut and everywhere Rian's skin touches him.
This isn't Rian's first time with a guy either, it's kind of far from it, actually (his first time was with a guy called Matt, and it was in a bed with Mickey Mouse sheets and that is one hell of a story) but it's his first time with the guy he's known since he was seventeen, the guy who is his best friend and his boyfriend, and the guy who he has a theory on which states that he most likely gives really good head.
"Jesus fuck, Rian," Zack moans, ankles crossed behind Rian's lower back, trying to force him closer, deeper. Rian's hands are braced on either side of his head, and the bed is creaking a little, headboard making a dull thunking noise when every time Rian thrusts a little bit too hard making it hit the wall, and Zack will have to remember to go apologize to his neighbors Evan and Danny when he isn't busy being fucked into oblivion by his boyfriend.
Rian shifts a little, one hand going to down to curve around Zack's hip, balancing his weight on forearm now. Their lips brush together in something that isn't quite a kiss, but is more just them practically breathing each other in, mouths open and pressed together.
Zack moans into his mouth and Rian swallows every sound he makes, a small part of his brain cataloguing his responses (touching here makes him moan like this, thrusting like so makes him arch like that) while he tries to elicit more and more sounds from him.
"Ri, Rian - Jesus - don't stop," Zack gasps, and Rian ducks his head, licks a stripe across his neck and doesn't stop until they're both coming, moaning and gasping and panting.
It's quiet for a few moments while they both catch their breath, and then Rian says in a breathless laugh. "When I first met you I thought our first time would be a lot shorter and more awkward than that,"
A glance at the digital clock on the table says that, oh, okay, Rian just fucked him for a little under an hour. "Didn't you say two hours?" Zack questions in an amused tone of voice.
The second time they actually have sex, it lasts just over an hour and Zack is on top, riding Rian filthyslow.
It happens twenty minutes after the first time.
Author: Amanda, who goes by the aliasapodiopsys
Pairing: Zian (along cat!jalex and a couple other pairings that you can just look for yourself)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: "I am locking your gay cats in the bathroom for the next two hours, and then I am going to fuck you into oblivion," Rian announces as he walks into Zack's apartment the following Saturday, going over to the cat basket and completely scaring them out of their wits when he grabs the sleeping cats by the fur on the back of their necks and lifts them up, dropping them in the bathroom and then closing the door.
Disclaimer: um i own everyone except for the cats, they own themselves~
A/N: I'm actually really proud of this piece, I'm really pleased with the way it turned out, considering I wrote it in an hour and a half on my ipod at two in the morning. based loosely on Jamie's drawings of Zian with Jalex cats and Uncle Panini cat
enjoii~~~
tumblr is here, br0.
come sexually harras my message box.it's into that kind of thing~
The first time Rian gets cockblocked by Zack's cats, there is only one cat. It's his parents' cat, it's fat, it's name is Panini, and it literally does nothing all day.
Rian is seventeen years old, and him and Zack have been dating for a little under a month now. This is the first time they've gone any further than heavy making out, with hands under dipping shirts and clothes flying to the floor until Rian is naked on the bed with Zack kneeling in between his legs, tongue darting out to lick at a bead of pre come gathering at the head of his dick and Rian is beyond a shadow of a doubt about to get the best-blowjob-of-his-life-so-far.
(He has seen Zack eating bananas and seriously, he has no gag reflex or something because he eats practically the whole thing in one bite.
The first time he ever saw Zack he was eating a banana and thus he pursued a relationship with him based on the theory that Zack would give good head.)
Zack is about to close his lips around Rian's dick, his breath fanning out across over over-sensitized skin, when Panini jumps on the bed, rubbing against Rian's bare calves and seriously.
What. The. Fuck.
Zack straightens up and Panini purrs, weaving underneath Rian's knee and Rian could shoot that mother fucking cat.
"...Did you lose it?" Zack asks quietly and Rian lets out this frustrated groan, rubbing his face with his hands and nodding.
"Yes," is his muffled grunt, and Panini seems satisfied with that answer, hopping off the bed and pushing around a pile of laundry with his paws, settling into it with a self satisfied air, like, I am the Chastity Cat.
The second time is about four years later, and Rian still hasn't found out whether his Zack gives good head theory is true or not because they broke up a little bit after the first time, deciding that they were better of as 'just friends.'
They are both completely and utterly shitfaced because they just celebrated the fact that now that Zack is actually twenty one, they can both legally drink at the same time.
They're in Zack's apartment, Zack lying down on the sofa with Rian stretched out on top of him, making out messily. Rian's leg makes its way between Zack's and his thigh presses against Zack's prominent hard on, and he hasn't been this close to his friends boner since that one time in his bedroom.
Zack tips his head back and moans a little, rutting his hips up against Rian's and tries to remember why they broke up when they could have been doing this for years.
Rian slips his hands under Zack's shirt, still making out even though it's pretty much all tongue and teeth clacking against each other, but somehow it's perfectly okay. His thumbs brush over his nipples and Zack arches into the touch.
Then Rian hears this tiny little mewling noise, and at first he thinks it's Zack and at that point, it's kind of really hot. But then it doesn't stop and Rian pulls back with an irritated huff and there is this tiny black kitten on the floor, mewling pathetically at the two on the sofa.
"Fucking, Jack," Zack grits out, and Rian shoots him an irritated glare.
"My name is Rian," he says, and he isn't sure whether to be amused or annoyed that his best friend just said some other dudes name when they were about to most likely have sex for the first time until Zack says, "No you fucktard, the cat," and he wiggles his way out from under Rian and goes over to the kitten, picking him up petting him and cooing something quietly at him.
Rian stares at the two for a second and has the strongest sense of de ja fucking vu until he realizes in his still slightly intoxicated state that this is the second fucking time one of Zack's cats has cockblocked him.
By the time Zack is done with the kitten, Rian is passed out on the couch.
The third time is about four months later, and after a lot of Deep and Meaningful Talks about the Almost-Sex and their Friendship, Zack and Rian are dating again, although they've agreed to take it slow just to be careful.
And if Rian has calculated right, slow means that four months in should be the right amount of slow until sex is okay.
So he takes Zack out for a romantic Italian dinner, pays for the meal and a bottle of red wine and they end up back in the apartment, half a bottle of red wine coursing through each of their blood systems and making out heavily on the couch.
"We should - take this - to my - bedroom," Zack says between kisses, his lips already wet and swollen.
Rian agrees wholeheartedly, standing up and starting to pull Zack towards his bedroom, his hands starting to unbutton his shirt. By the time they make it to the bed, there is a path of clothes trailing in their wake and they're both down to their boxers.
Rian shifts so his thigh is in between Zack's, leaning down to press their lips together again and they make out for a while, building back up to where they had gotten in the living room.
When Rian pulls back and sits up, breathing, "Lube?" Zack points at a dresser on the opposite wall.
"Second drawer from the top left," he says, and Rian nods, getting up to go find it. He hears Zack shifting around behind him, the rustle of boxers being tossed to the floor and he closes his hands around the bottle of lube, taking it out and pushing the drawer closed.
On his way back to the bed, he notices two sets of eyes watching them from the doorway, and really, he is never, ever letting Zack go back to the animal shelter again because before he knows it he will have a Crazy Cat Man as his boyfriend.
"Your creepy fucking cats are watching us," he says in a hushed tone, bed dipping under his weight as he prays to any god listening that those cats will go away so that he can fuck his boyfriend in peace.
Zack props himself up on his elbows, looks over towards the door and then around the room. "Oh?" he says faintly, watching Rian slick his fingers up with the clear lubricant.
And then the two fucking devil cats start mewling from under the bed. Zack looks up at Rian and his eyes are huge, he is just as aware of the fact that the last two times they were cockblocked by his cats.
The gods are not listening to Rian. He does not get to fuck his boyfriend that night. Instead, he gets to cuddle in Zack's bed with the a cat on each of their chests, Jack on Zack's and Alex on Rian's.
"Your cats are all assholes," Rian says as he pets Alex's gold and brown fur, but he's not that mad, not really.
"My parents still have Panini, you know," Zack says mildly, scratching behind Jack's ears and laughing a little as the black cat purrs happily.
"I'm pretty sure your cats are gay," Rian says in return, watching Alex climb over to Zack's chest and bump noses with Jack, licking his face affectionately, and that is pretty gay behavior if he's ever seen any.
"Is that really so weird?" Zack asks, looking over at Rian and Rian laughs, shaking his head no as he takes Zack's hand and laces their fingers together.
"Not really," he says, and squeezes his hand lightly.
The forth time they almost have sex... they actually do have sex.
"I am locking your gay cats in the bathroom for the next two hours, and then I am going to fuck you into oblivion," Rian announces as he walks into Zack's apartment the following Saturday, going over to the cat basket and completely scaring them out of their wits when he grabs the sleeping cats by the fur on the back of their necks and lifts them up, dropping them in the bathroom and then closing the door.
Zack stares at him, open mouthed because it is like, ten o'clock on a saturday morning and he has barely had time for his coffee. "What?" he says, watching Rian dumbly when he comes back into the room.
"Well, I've already locked your cats in the bathroom, so now I've just gotta fuck you into oblivion," Rian says like it's the most obvious thing in the world, pulling Zack to his feet and kissing him deeply.
They make it to the bedroom, and Rian makes short work of their clothes (his clothes, really, Zack just wears pajama pants to bed and he hasn't gotten as far as putting on a shirt yet), not breaking the kiss they have going as his hand scrambles for the lube he put in the bedsidetable drawer the day before.
"What -" Zack says, turning his head to the side to look at the drawer and Rian laughs, low and rough.
"I shouldn't have to get up to look for lube," he says, and that's logical, okay.
Rian proceeds to fuck him with no less than three fingers, one hand splayed out on Zack's hip, keeping him from doing more than small dirty grinds down on to Rian's fingers.
"I'm good, Ri, I'm good," Zack gasps when Rian curls his fingers right into his prostate, and his vision is a little blurry and he is in danger of coming before Rian wants him too.
"Yeah?" Rian asks, his fingers stilling and Zack wets his lips, swallows and nods.
"Yeah," he breathes, and he hears the crinkle of a foil opening, the sharp intake of breath as his boyfriend rolls a condom over his cock, spreading lube over the rubber.
"Okay?" Rian asks quietly as he lines the necessary body parts up, eyes dark and intense and heavy on Zack's.
"O-kay," Zack's voice breaks as Rian pushes in, and this isn't the first time he's had sex with a guy, but it's the first time he's had sex with Rian, and it's not at all awkward like he expected their first time to be, back when they were seventeen, but it's a lot hot and intimate and good, heat pooling in his gut and everywhere Rian's skin touches him.
This isn't Rian's first time with a guy either, it's kind of far from it, actually (his first time was with a guy called Matt, and it was in a bed with Mickey Mouse sheets and that is one hell of a story) but it's his first time with the guy he's known since he was seventeen, the guy who is his best friend and his boyfriend, and the guy who he has a theory on which states that he most likely gives really good head.
"Jesus fuck, Rian," Zack moans, ankles crossed behind Rian's lower back, trying to force him closer, deeper. Rian's hands are braced on either side of his head, and the bed is creaking a little, headboard making a dull thunking noise when every time Rian thrusts a little bit too hard making it hit the wall, and Zack will have to remember to go apologize to his neighbors Evan and Danny when he isn't busy being fucked into oblivion by his boyfriend.
Rian shifts a little, one hand going to down to curve around Zack's hip, balancing his weight on forearm now. Their lips brush together in something that isn't quite a kiss, but is more just them practically breathing each other in, mouths open and pressed together.
Zack moans into his mouth and Rian swallows every sound he makes, a small part of his brain cataloguing his responses (touching here makes him moan like this, thrusting like so makes him arch like that) while he tries to elicit more and more sounds from him.
"Ri, Rian - Jesus - don't stop," Zack gasps, and Rian ducks his head, licks a stripe across his neck and doesn't stop until they're both coming, moaning and gasping and panting.
It's quiet for a few moments while they both catch their breath, and then Rian says in a breathless laugh. "When I first met you I thought our first time would be a lot shorter and more awkward than that,"
A glance at the digital clock on the table says that, oh, okay, Rian just fucked him for a little under an hour. "Didn't you say two hours?" Zack questions in an amused tone of voice.
The second time they actually have sex, it lasts just over an hour and Zack is on top, riding Rian filthyslow.
It happens twenty minutes after the first time.