We used to wait. (Chapter 11/?)
title: We used to wait. (Chapter 11/?)
author:
apodixis
spoilers: Through all seasons, though this takes place in an AU starting at the very end of season 2.
pairings: kara/lee, kara/sam
overall fic rating: R/NC-17
word count: 7,593
notes: See http://apodixis.livejournal.com/685.html for more information.
summary: If God isn't leading the fleet to Earth, can they ever find it?
Lee and Kara spent a few of the remaining night cycle hours together, but they had at some point migrated to the couch and draped their clothing over each other to preserve their warmth. Though there was always the risk of having someone coming to the office, they both knew the hatch had been sealed up by Kara long ago, not to mention the chances of someone other than her approaching this particular room at such an hour was negligible. For a few hours at least, they slept together in relative peace. Just before morning reveille, Lee had woken her despite how he hated to do so, and both of them dressed in relative silence, though their faces were a testament to the happiness they both felt.
Inside the small room, they were cushioned and preserved from the reality of their situation. There was Sam and their military obligations, the memory of Zak and the chance of a disapproving elder Adama, all sitting between them outside the hatch. For the moment, there was a mutual agreement to ignore it, and before either of them decided to leave, Kara had him pressed up against the door. Lee felt the pain of the hatch handle digging into his back but he didn’t think about it, instead choosing to focus on the taste of her and what it was like to have her completely to himself for one more night. She backed off first, tucking her hair behind her ear, her head giving a quick movement towards the door behind him.
“You head back first. I’ll wait five minutes before I follow.”
Even without considering the possibility of Anders finding out, the last thing the two of them needed was the entirety of the senior pilots’ bunk to catch them walking in together should the occupants of the room be awake early. No, instead they’d retreat to the room, hoping to find it still immersed in darkness to give them cover as they each slipped into their racks.
Lee proceeded as ordered and he laid in his bed, unable to sleep. He heard the familiar creak of the door open and quiet foot steps until the motion came to stop across the way from him where Starbuck’s rack was. He pulled the curtain back just barely and watched her casually undress, back down to her underwear and a single tank top. When she sat down onto the thin mattress, Kara glanced over to him, their eyes catching. Immediately, he relived every minute of the hours they’d spent together. She laid down in her bed, still holding contact with his blue eyes as she tugged the curtain nearly closed. Like him, only the few inches where her head rested on her pillow remained exposed and the two of them lay watching one another until they both fell asleep.
-
They saw little of each other once work began on the algae planet, at least with any amount of privacy. Adama put Kara in charge of the work on the ground while he took care of the fleet, and for the first time in a longtime, she fell back into the sense of responsibility she felt throughout her time as Commander of Pegasus. The only hitch in it was that she was in charge of both her husband and Lee, and with the small quarters temporarily set up down on the planet, it left the three of them uncomfortably close. It had been much easier to avoid Sam on Galactica, hiding behind CAP and her duties, than it was when she arrived on the planet to find that her husband had already staked out a pair of cots for the two of them, side by side. Lee had looked visibly ill at that realization.
They’d been there over two weeks and their stomachs were finally full, the production ship working at all hours to restock the fleet with something edible, if a little bit disgusting in flavor. The freighters were nearly at capacity as well, and all the people on the ground thanked the Gods for it. The stench of the planet was unbearable, especially when knee deep in algae, and the only smell that rivaled it to Kara was when she had crawled into the belly of the brain dead Raider on that moon years ago. Her hair smelled of those faux biological guts and fluids for days.
The Raptor sped down through the atmosphere, landing just outside the base camp set up beside the nearest body of water and their prime location for harvesting their new food source. The sound of the engines filled the air and both Lee and Sam looked up towards the designated makeshift landing zone from where they worked.
“That should be Kat,” Lee stated, trying to play down how vested his interest was in this particular ship. Kara had gone up with Kat the night before on the small ship’s daily return trip to Galactica in order to brief his father on the ongoing project. Their mission was completed and over half of the population selected to help had returned to their homes among the stars, leaving the dwindling numbers to pack up and gather the equipment used in collecting their would be meals. She was due back today and all morning long Lee had watched the sky as he baked under the heat of the planet’s nearby sun, waiting for her return, even if it wasn’t particularly to him.
“Should be,” Sam replied, though there was a tinge of something else to his voice. Lee side-eyed him, feeling the stare of the taller, bulkier man. He and Kara had been careful to keep what happened under wraps, but even he hadn’t been able to not indulge in a couple of looks they’d shared since then. Once, and only once, they’d slipped away to be somewhere alone in the guise of a scouting mission to the nearby mountain. Though the recon had been somewhat legitimate, they hadn’t exactly behaved like they were just there to do their job. It never got as far as it had back in her office on the eve of their arrival on the planet that was to be their saving grace, but when they returned to camp, Lee could still feel the burn of her husband’s eyes on his back wherever he went. It didn’t matter that Kara and Sam hardly behaved as if they were a married couple, there was something territorial about Anders and Lee couldn’t exactly blame him.
Without further excuse, Lee abandoned the metal case he had been filling with hoses and clamps, his path set on intercepting the Raptor and its occupants. The door was already open when he got there and Kat’s tiny body emerged from it, helmet already off and left inside the ship. Her head gave a nod of acknowledgement to him.
“Anything else ready to go back up?”
“Tyrol and Cally have got most of what’s ready, you should probably go and help them out,” Lee said with a glance back towards the half-circle enclosure that had been their makeshift home. Kat proceeded back towards the small settlement and he didn’t envy her one bit as she was fitted into the plastic of her flight suit. He was hot enough half clothed, those extra layers must have been killing her. With his mind giving up thoughts of Kat, or whatever her name really was, Lee climbed onto the wing of the ship and into the main cabin. Kara pulled her body out of the co-pilot’s seat, eyes steady on him as she did. The fact that this was the most privacy they’d had in weeks wasn’t lost on either of them.
“Major,” he said with a hint of a smile.
“Captain.” Kara gave an ascent of her head in a timid greeting. It was all for show, though, because in an instant she had closed the space between them. Lee pulled harshly at the zipper of her flight suit, forcing the shoulders and sleeves of the material downward. They were too close to the other members of the fleet, the door was wide open, hell, someone could have even looked through the window of the cockpit and caught them. Perhaps, though, that was what made it so much more exciting. “I’ve been dreaming about this for days,” she spoke with a smile on her face and that grin was laced into her words.
“You mean while you sleep next to Anders?” Though he knew she’d interpret it differently, he had meant it as a form of pride in himself. To know that even beside her husband, she was dreaming of him was a small victory. A victory which barely eased the pain of knowing she was keeping up the charade of a marriage she was in. Lee kissed her hard and his hand palmed aggressively against her breast, an echo of the night they shared.
Kara didn’t let his words deter her and her hand gripped roughly at his side and his back, bringing their bodies in as close together as they would both allow. “Do you think he knows?”
“Sam?” Lee questioned her between kissing her jaw. A mumble of agreement was given from deep in her throat and he felt the vibration as he kissed her neck. “I don’t know.” It was a lie to bring them both comfort. Maybe if he said it aloud, he would actually believe Sam didn’t suspect a thing. The pyramid star wasn’t stupid, though. Lee knew that much. Even before something had recently transpired between Lee and Kara, the two of them had never gotten along, even temporarily. They had been amicable at the start of their time on New Caprica, but something had changed between them and never righted itself. Now, Lee knew it never would. There wasn’t forgiveness for frakking someone else’s wife.
She softly moaned in contentment when there was the loud sound of footsteps outside the Raptor. Both of them froze instantly, but the intruder was already in view of the hatch. They expected the worst as they quickly tore apart, instinctively fixing their own clothes.
“…Forgot my radio,” Kat said, for once sounding quiet.
Kara drew the side of her hand across her mouth, like that action alone would wipe Lee off of her. Her eyes rose to meet Kat’s as the pilot reached just barely into the ship for the plastic radio abandoned on the floor. There was a truce between them in the silence they shared. Just as Kara had done right by her and kept her secret, Kat would keep Kara’s. Had it been anyone else, Starbuck would have been overwhelmed with the fear of being outed, or at the very least a rumor started and circulated among the ship’s crew. There wasn’t anything of betrayal in Kat’s look, though, and Kara knew she was safe.
Kat moved to step away, pausing as she looked back over to Lee who had shifted to the complete opposite end of the ship’s interior, as if the distance between he and Kara would somehow rectify the situation. “It’s not my place, sir, but if anyone comes just up over that ridge, they can see right in here.” She didn’t wait for a response and didn’t bother with the salute before she left, the words of advice heavy in the air.
Lee’s fist pounded against the bulkhead, missing any important switches and indicators. “Frak!”
“Relax, Lee.” She tried to downplay it, assuming the role of the the calm half for them. It had usually been quite the opposite, with Kara out of control and frustrated and Lee calming her down, but today she thought she could fill in. “She won’t say a thing.”
“How can you just be okay with this?”
“What else am I supposed to be? Sam doesn’t know, no one knows except Kat. There’s no proof anyway, we deny it.” She took a seat down at the ECO station, hoping it would cement her words for them both.
“Are you really just planning on staying with him?” Apollo sounded both scared and hopeful all at once.
“I don’t know yet. Gods, Lee! We don’t even know what this is and you want me to just leave my husband!”
“How do you not know what this is?” Lee accused her and made up for some of the distance that he had put between them.
Her lips pursed tightly together, gaze leveling at him. “I’m thinking about it, all right? Just drop it, already. We’ve been working like dogs down here. I’ve barely had time to take a piss, let alone think about my frakked up marriage and what’s going on between me and you. So just back off, Lee. I’ll get to it when I get to it.”
It was the confrontation he was expecting from her at some point when everything came to a head, but that didn’t mean her indecision came to him any easier. He had been prepared to give her all the time and space in the world, and in fact he had been ever since he returned to Galactica and they worked on mending the friendship between them. After their night together, though, it was like he’d gotten a taste of a drug and suddenly had to have more, all of it, and all the time. The only thing that kept him restrained had been the work they’d been doing and how completely exhausted it left them all at the end of the day.
With her words still lingering in the air, Lee stepped off the Raptor and headed back to the camp, leaving her behind with her own thoughts.
-
Galen glanced up towards the nearby mountain, feeling the irrational pull towards the heaping rocks and dirt. With the rest of the crew still working eagerly to finish packing, he began the long and slow climb uphill towards the mountaintop. It was there that he found the open space of the temple and its neatly carved and decorated walls. He approached what was the only sign of civilization they’d seen on the algae planet, hand rubbing over the etched design of a circle. He wiped at it until some of the dust cleared off it, exposing a brighter series of yellow, red, and blue.
“This place is amazing, isn’t it?”
He turned around to the familiar voice, catching sight of the other occupant he recognized by voice but not form as he hung in the shadow of a pillar.
“What are you doing up here, Sam?”
Anders stepped into the center of the room where some of the light spilled onto his skin. His head shook as if he was lost in thought while he looked around. “I don’t know… I was standing down there and I just looked up and saw the mountain and felt like I’d been here before, you know?”
The Chief nodded as he looked up to the immaculate ceiling that resembled all the temples he could remember seeing in his youth. “I had the same feeling. Like I just knew it was here, something was pulling me up to find it. It just feels…”
“Familiar?” Sam finished the sentence for him and across the open space, Galen nodded. That anxiety began spreading in his body all over again, just as it had in those days and weeks after they escaped the cylons the last time. Something had happened when he was out in that Viper, something he couldn’t explain. Just like that experience, there was something about where they stood that he also couldn’t explain. He watched the Chief of the deck from where he stood, a new feeling suddenly overwhelming him. If he had been inexplicably drawn here and Tyrol had felt the same thing, what did that mean? “Do you know what this place is?”
“It’s the Temple of Five.” There was no question in his words. Galen paced, taking in the details of not only the mandala design repeated in several spots but the ancient carvings. “The 13th Tribe stopped here on the way to Earth. We need to call Galactica.”
-
Though the Colonials had been lulled into an artificial comfort zone at not having seen any real cylon activity since the fight that had claimed Pegasus, their luck had run dry when a series of base stars jumped in amongst the fleet. The civilian ships had fled immediately, but Galactica remained behind, with Adama and Roslin unwilling to leave the remaining ground crew behind to preserve their own hides. Down in the mostly dismantled algae settlement, Kara took charge of their meager numbers.
“You all know your jobs and positions. Kat and I will be flying between each observation point with news of any sightings while the rest of you hard-wire in.” The group of people dispersed and she couldn’t help but notice the absence of a few faces. Kara approached Lee. “Where the frak is Sam?”
Lee kept his eyes down on his own weapon, pushing a new magazine in. “Not a clue, but my guess would be up at that temple the Chief thinks he found.”
Her teeth pressed into her lower lip, worrying over the skin there. “Most of these people are civilians. They haven’t got a clue what to do.”
“We’ll give them guns, tell them where to point, and hope we figure out something first,” said Lee. He slung the weapon over his shoulder and stepped to the doorway. They were the only two that remained. “Be safe out there.”
“You’re the one who’s going to be lying in the dirt, Apollo. I should be saying that to you.” Kara tried to make light of the situation, but nodded to him to let Lee know she understood the real meaning of his words. “Be safe.” She was alone in the room once she let out a shuddering sigh. “Lords of Kobol.” Kara didn’t even finish the statement. If the Gods didn’t know how she was going to finish that statement by now, she really was on her own.
-
With the crew paired off and camped at their observation stations, Kat and Kara both sat at the front of the Raptor as it skimmed through the atmosphere.
“Just keep going north of here to the next one, Kat,” Kara said from the co-pilot’s seat, letting the lower ranking officer man the controls. This was Kat’s ship technically, Kara just happened to be with her on her last trip down. Though their flights so far had been rather dull despite the tension in the air, it couldn’t remain that simple. They rounded a hill when Kara’s eyes caught immediately on the shine of chrome. A pair of missiles headed their way and the ship jerked up in response. Kat was already reacting to the oncoming storm and though it wasn’t really the time or the place, pride swelled up in Kara’s chest at the girl’s ability. She knew she had something to do with it.
There was only so much that could have been done though, and in an instant everything changed. The ship was hit and Kara felt them fall into a spin as command was lost. She reached for her own set of controls, fist pounding into the button at the console until her side of of the ship powered up and allowed Kara to make an honest attempt at leveling the Raptor out. It was chaos and she reacted purely on instinct as fire broke out over the electronics before them. Smoke filled the cabin and all she desperately tried to do was give them a fighting chance. The gauges were completely shot, not that she could even read them, so Kara was left to guide the bird down solely on feel. When the impact came she was certain she’d died, crossed over, and outside the Raptor door would be Elysium waiting for her. Or maybe not, she hadn’t exactly lived a good life.
“Kat? You okay?” Kara called to the girl beside her, but first pressed her arm into one of the buttons that triggered the release of the cabin door. The smoke was filling her lungs and she’d be lucky to survive a few more breaths unless oxygen had a way in. It cleared just enough for Kara to survey the damage around them. The front glass was cracked, a gaping hole leaving jagged shards of glass exposed, though the fire had put itself out. She reached to press into the harness release of her seat and was stunned by the consuming pain that spread through her. Kara drew both of her hands up in sync with one another, her head refusing to process what her eyes saw. Her gloves had all but completely melted, flesh exposed where the material had torn or been eaten away by the flames she’d endured in her struggle to keep the ship somewhat afloat.
Tears welled up in her eyes as everything came into focus. The pain hit her like a ton of bricks all at once and without question, it had been the worst she’d ever felt. Forget the gunshot on Caprica or her aggravated knee injury from when she had crashed on that moon. Gods, even forget the slam of her hand in the door by her own mother. She was sure there was a broken finger or two in the heap of seared flesh that was now her hands, but it paled in comparison to the consuming burn. At the end of her wrists were just lumps of skin and pain now, she could no longer even distinguish the individual fingers through feel alone. Her cheeks were damp with the result of her own pain and fear and Kara turned her head back to Kat, suddenly remembering she wasn’t alone in the ship.
“Kat,” she croaked out at her. The pain was endured as she forced herself to nudge her hand into the seatbelt release finally, crying out as the pressure only increased what she thought surely could not get any worse. Kara nearly fell out of her seat as she twisted towards where her pilot sat. “Kat, get up!” She was screaming at her now, prodding the body with her forearm. “Get the frak up!” Another yell and this one was muffled by her own cries. She could see blood already pooled on the floor, a thin river of it spilling from where Kat’s flight suit was torn apart, exposing equally mutilated flesh. “Kat!” She was quieter now, tears falling rapidly and Kara forced herself to endure the pain as she made her hands reach to turn Kat just enough to get a look at her.
Her brown eyes were open but vacant of any life, a smear of blood down her chin from where it began in her mouth. Her hand shook uncontrollably and she attempted to try to feel for a pulse at her neck. It was fruitless, of course, not just because her hands were completely useless, but because she already knew the truth. Kat was dead. The wound across the entirety of her gut was beyond mortal and she refused to look back down to it, in fear of seeing beyond the blood and into the very organs of her body.
Kara reacted violently at the realization, vomit pouring from her mouth as she threw up in the space between the two seats. She retched for what felt like at least a minute, unable to control herself as she cried out in frustration and pain, anger and grief at the loss. When her stomach finally stopped convulsing, she pushed herself out of the seat, face twisted as even the pull of muscles in her arms caused muscles further down in her hands to ache. She had to get away from the cockpit, away from the smell of her burned skin and the carcass of what had been her friend, but was now just a warm pile of something that used to be human.
Starbuck collapsed onto the floor once she was in the main cabin, unable to think due to the pain, both physical and emotional. Her booted foot kicked at the nearby upturned emergency kit until the latch gave and the contents poured out around her. She tried her best to gather the metal box containing morpha injections in her hands, even using her teeth to desperately open it. She succeeded in that at least, but staring down through tear filled eyes, she knew there was no way she’d ever be able to get the vial inside the injector and administer it to herself. She was going to die here, she knew it. She was going to die inside that Raptor in the worst pain of her life. Her body shook both from shock and the tears she didn’t know she was even still crying. A turn of her head was given towards the cockpit and all she could see of Kat, who she had left slumped against the bulkhead of the ship, was her gloved hand dangling limply from her seat and the puddle of blood commingled with Kara’s own algae flavored sick.
Maybe she’d already died in that crash or exploded into bits from a particularly good missile hit. This wasn’t Elysium, it was Tartarus and her soul was going to be forced to spend the remainder of its time in close quarters with a corpse.
Kara shut her eyes, willing her body to ignore the pain. It had no true effect though, and all she saw behind her eyes was the slack jawed face of Kat sitting only a few feet away from her. She sobbed out loud, giving a screech of anger, and slammed her hand into the floor. It only made the pain worse and she was absolutely lost in it, unsure of how long she had been there. One moment it felt like only a minute since the Raptor had crashed back into the soil, and then another moment it felt like absolute hours as she waited for her breath to stop. She eyed the gun on her leg and contemplated forcing herself to endure the pain for only a second in order to put herself out of her absolutely devastating misery.
It was during that thought when the rustle of brush and rushed foot steps surrounded the ship and she was neither quick enough nor strong enough to draw her sidearm in defense of herself. The sun blazed high overhead and behind the shape of the person that emerged, having the effect of darkening their features to her. Between that and the delirium that was overcoming her from the pain, it was hard for her to see who it was. “Lee?” Her voice trembled as she questioned the body before her, her mind going for the one person in the worlds she wanted to see right then. Even if she was imagining it, she would be happy to go to her death pretending to be in his arms.
“It’s me, Kara,” The voice was soft and soothing and he stepped up onto the ship, climbing in. Only then with the sun blocked out was she able to fully take in the face that had come for her. “It’s Leoben.”
Tears returned to her as she heaved with her sorrow. She wanted to die in some kind of peace and now even that last wish was to be taken from her. “Don’t!” Kara screamed and it echoed in the metal surrounding them. “Don’t frakking touch me!”
Leoben didn’t listen, instead kneeled beside her as his hands went for the contents of the morpha container, the vials spilled out on the flooring. He loaded one dosage into the injector and stabbed it through her suit and clothes, down into the meat of her leg.
The reaction was immediate, her body relaxing at the sudden relief. She could breathe again, the pain not weighing her down. The physical relief, however, didn’t blind her to the fact that she was now alone with the cylon she hoped to never see again. Kara hated that a part of her, even one percent of her, was thankful for the mercy he showed when he’d injected her with the mild anaesthetic.
“You have to come with me, Kara. You don’t die here, this isn’t where your destiny ends.” Leoben pocketed the rest of the morpha, then reached for her as she batted him away with all the strength she had left in her body. Her arms swung at his own, even employing the use of her fists despite the slightly dulled flare of pain she felt when they made contact with him. He was a lot stronger than her though, even when she was in the best of shape, and Kara was no match. His arms hooked under her armpits, dragging her out of the totaled vessel. She resisted the whole way.
“I can’t! I won’t leave her here!” Her feet kicked at the wing of the Raptor, pushing the rest of her body against him in hopes to jar his footing. Leoben was prepared, however, and accommodated whatever she threw his way.
“She’s gone. God will take care of her soul now, but you need me to take you to your next step, Kara.” He had her completely away from the ship finally, attempting to help her stand up.
“You’re not a human! You won’t ever die so don’t pretend you even understand where her soul’s gone. You’ll never know,” Kara growled at him from where she sat in the dirt, refusing to use her legs to stand. She wouldn’t give him what he wanted, wouldn’t make it easy for him, it just wasn’t Starbuck’s way.
Leoben looked down to her, never before seeing Kara more like a child than she was right then. All those things he’d said to her, about her past and her mother, he could see the broken child she’d become because of it. He ached for her, even though he logically knew he had no parents and no understandable way to relate. “You can believe what you want, Kara, but you aren’t meant to die out here, like this. You think that I’m just a cylon, just a machine. You never try to understand the things I see or the things I know about you.” He crouched down beside her. “You’re special, Kara.”
Those three words brought back so many memories of her past, some happier ones from when she was very young, though those specific memories had faded overtime as she grew older. The ones that stung, the unhappier moments of her past, overwhelmed her. He dared to say that to her and though he was calm and kind, all she heard in her head was her mother’s taunting voice. All she felt was every wound ever inflicted on her.
“No I’m not!” Kara lunged at him, attempting to wrestle him to the ground. Leoben was surprised by her and fell back, but his momentary weakness didn’t last long. She reached for the gun at her thigh, only to find it missing. He had to have unholstered it from her sometime between now and that morpha injection in the Raptor. She’d been a fool not to notice.
He didn’t treat her with force or violence, he even subdued her with an odd kind of gentleness that unsettled her. Leoben pulled one of the morpha injections from his pocket and mimicking his earlier actions, loaded it up and injected her with it. “I’m sorry to do it like this, but I need you not to fight me the entire way.”
With a double dose of the medication in her, she became increasingly docile. Her head swam in the flood of pain relief, the rest of her body going nearly numb. Leoben hoisted her over his shoulder and began the long trek to where she needed to be.
-
From a few klicks away, Mathias watched with binoculars down at the scene. She and the marine with her had rushed to the site of the crash following the smoke, hoping to rescue either of the pilots alive. They’d been too late, though, just catching sight of that particular skinjob hauling Kara’s nearly limp body away.
She began the return trip with her partner not too far behind, rushing to where she knew was the closest hardwired observation point. “Give me Apollo,” Mathias said into the comm, panting hard until he was on the line. “Captain, Major Thrace’s ship went down a little while ago. I got to the crash site, but she looked to be injured and one of the cylons was already hauling her off. At this distance and with the weapons we’ve got, I couldn’t be sure the shot I took wouldn’t have hit her instead.” She paused, listening to the voice on the other end of the line. “The raider isn’t back that way, my only guess is he’s coming towards you. Towards the temple.”
-
Barolay handed off the receiver to Lee and he put it to his ear, unsure of both who it was and what information they were about to relay. “This is Captain Adama,” he said, sounding professional and firm despite the chaotic nature of the situation they were in. Even without knowing what his father was dealing up above them, the situation was dire enough on the ground. The blood rushed away from his face on the news that Kara’s Raptor had gone down. His ears rang, barely hearing the next words from over the crackle of the line. She was waiting for him to respond, he could tell that much, and Lee barely choked out the words. “Where were they headed?”
He didn’t wait for any more information after the marine had indicated her assumption. The temple. The cylon was bringing her up the side of the mountain and into the temple. Lee glanced to his left, catching sight of Tyrol with the box in his hand that would light up the temple with the flip of a switch. He and Sam had both been a pain in his side since they’d met up with them, the other two insisting they do everything to preserve the temple rather than blow it so the cylons couldn’t have it. Jean screamed at them to push the button, to get it over with, and Lee’s eyes swarmed with panic. What if Kara was already inside?
“Stop!” Apollo yelled and reached for the box, ripping the wires out of it so there was no accidental flip of a switch. Everyone stared at him with confusion, even the two men who had vehemently protested the makeshift plan. “We have to go back in.” Lee jumped over the mound of dirt and rocks they’d pushed together in the mountainside to provide some kind of cover. He took off running back towards the entrance, Sam and the rest of them following soon behind him, shouting the entire way.
-
Inside the temple, Baltar and D’Anna pulled the charges out of the explosive packs affixed to the walls. Nearby, one of the Ones calmly paced around the perimeter of the room, clearly far less interested in the surroundings than the cylon and human pair beside him. He looked up when their silence was interrupted, expecting to see some of the Colonial military storming in and ready to send them back to their resurrection ship. Unlike some of his brothers and sisters, he didn’t really mind the dying part. Sure, it wasn’t fun, but he wasn’t particularly attached to any one body of his. If he died, he’d be reborn, and then he would move on. It was simple.
Leoben came through the doorway, fatigue setting in as he lowered Kara to the ground. During the final stretch, the first dosage of morpha had begun to wear off as her body metabolized it rapidly. She’d become aware and fought him as best she could, which wasn’t very well at all, but it had served to make the last portion of the journey something of a struggle.
“So that’s where you went to,” the One said, his hand motioning over to the female human on the floor. “I thought your obsession with her was over with.”
“It isn’t an obsession,” Leoben ground out, for once displaying something of anger with the model that acted as the de facto leader of them all. He kneeled beside Kara, paying no mind to the One, Three, and former President of the Colonies. “We’re here, Kara.”
She was weak and barely awake, the fight having gone out of her once Leoben had settled her on the floor a minute earlier. “I won’t play your games anymore, I know how you work.”
“These aren’t games.” Though he still had the same soothing tone, she would have sworn he seemed a bit offended by her accusation. “Don’t you see, Kara?” He asked and slipped his hand just under her chin as he directed her vision across to one of the carvings on the wall. Rather than look to the symbol, Leoben kept sight of her face.
Kara blinked quickly, squinted through the haze that fogged her, eyes locking on the mandala staring back at her. It wasn’t immediately that she recognized it, but when she did, her eyelids spread apart wide, mouth hanging slightly open. She looked back to Leoben, angry at his self-satisfied smile he wore in honor of her obvious recognition. “Why did you bring me here?”
“No, Kara, you brought us all to this place. It was meant to be, don’t you feel it?”
For one painful moment, Kara felt something kindred between her and the cylon. “I don’t know what it means, Leoben.” In a strange way, she felt as if she failed both him and herself.
“You will.” He smiled. This was perhaps the happiest moment of his existence. It wasn’t love from her, but it was close enough. She wasn’t fighting him and the intimate tone she used said a million things. For now, it would be enough.
From the dais, D’Anna’s voice rose in frustration while Baltar stepped back in bewilderment. “I did as the hybrid asked! I’m the chosen one!” There was anger in her words, but mostly a sense of abandonment and desperation. For some time now she had been dreaming of the images of the final five cylons when she stepped into that gap between one body’s death and another’s life. It consumed her completely and everything she once thought herself to be was given up to pursue what she felt and knew to be her destiny. She was to know the faces of the remaining cylons, some that she considered to be Gods.
“Maybe you should calm down, you know, breathe. It’ll come to you,” Baltar said, hands flowing through the air in an effort to calm her down from the sudden ledge she had figuratively climbed upon. “Just focus.”
Looking up to the ceiling of the temple, she closed her eyes and did her best attempt at achieving some kind of inner peace, as if that would help them to reach out to her. She balled her hands into fists, trying to tune out all the other occupants in the room. “Let me know who you are! Show me your faces!” She had journeyed all this way, only to be left behind in the end.
“Hey! Shut the frak up already.” Sam shouted from the doorway with Galen beside him, D’Anna’s head whipping around to lay her sights on them. It served a good enough of a distraction, as Baltar, Leoben, and John also turned to see the intrusion. Lee, Jean, and the remaining marines and crew burst in through the other entranceway. Though Lee knew he was technically in charge of the crew of people that remained, he couldn’t find it in himself to lead them at that moment.
His eyes burned into the sight of the Leoben model crouched beside Kara’s crumpled form. It was New Caprica all over again to him, and he ran forward with every ounce of speed he had, turning his body into a weapon against the stronger machine. Lee’s body impacted against Leoben’s, knocking him down and onto the stone floor, though Apollo’s own body followed, unable to stop the momentum. They struggled against one another, Kara watching from only feet away, weak and helpless. Lee had the upper hand, straddling the cylon’s body as his fist pounded once then twice into Leoben’s jaw, artificial blood spraying across the floor. Every hit he delivered was payback for every one Lee received at the hands of him or one of his copies, for every word he’d ever said to Kara that made her doubt herself. He was lost in the blind rage of it until Kara’s voice cut through.
“Lee! Stop!”
He didn’t even take time to process the words, just acted as if he was the one who was a robot, accepting his orders blindly and without question. Chest taking heavy breaths, he rolled himself off the cylon who still alive but not fairing exactly well as he choked and coughed on his own blood.
“Kara? Gods, are you all right?” Lee crawled over and he wrapped her in his arms, unable to take the time to check for injuries first. She yelped in pain and he released her instantly, pulling back just enough to take a look at her. Forget the way she’d been after four trips through the radiation cloud and suffering from severe malnutrition, this was the worst he’d ever seen her. Kara was pale, as if she was frozen through and through, but her skin was covered in a thick sheen of sweat. Splotches of blood covered her uniform and it was torn in some places, adding to the rest of her disheveled appearance. She was barely hanging on by a thread, he could tell, and that was even before he caught sight of where the real damage had been, her hands. “Someone get me a frakking emergency kit, anything!” Lee yelled back to the rest of the room, unaware if they’d taken it successfully or the rest of his team had fallen to the cylons. He demanded the focus of her eyes, hands cupping her dirty cheeks. “Stay with me, Kara. It’s all over, I’ve got you.”
They had, in fact, overcome the cylons. Cavil’s body was bloody and lifeless. D’Anna and Baltar were both also on the floor, though just unconscious as the rise and fall of their chests indicated. Leoben was still alive, but only barely, a marine having bound up his hands behind him as a precaution.
“Leoben, he has morpha in his pocket,” Kara pleaded with Lee as he cradled her in his arms. That dulled sensation was starting to fade away now, bringing back the sharp sting of all her pains to the surface. The nearby marine searched Leoben for the items and brought them to Lee, who assembled the proper dosage and stabbed the needle into her skin. It killed him to see her like that, and just her behavior told him what she had gone through. She had pulled herself back from certain death on that moon despite her injury, fought her way through Caprica and back. She’d survived being the last ship off of a battlestar with a collision course set for a cylon baseship. But now, right now, Kara Thrace was absolutely physically and emotionally wrecked.
Sam helped tie up Baltar and D’Anna, another precaution, his eyes kept on Lee and Kara as they sat together on the other side of the room. He wanted to go to her, make sure she was all right. Though she was his wife, it suddenly felt like it was no longer his place to do so. Lee had her now and Sam knew at least she would be safe.
“Kat’s dead,” Kara whispered softly against Lee’s shoulder. He said nothing but held her a little tighter.
“Captain,” Tyrol said from a few feet off. “You’re not going to believe this but…the sun’s gone nova. We need to get the frak off this rock now.”
With hopefully the worst behind them, the weary group began preparations to make it back to the set of evac Raptors at the bottom of the hill with a few extra bodies in tow.
author:
apodixis
spoilers: Through all seasons, though this takes place in an AU starting at the very end of season 2.
pairings: kara/lee, kara/sam
overall fic rating: R/NC-17
word count: 7,593
notes: See http://apodixis.livejournal.com/685.html for more information.
summary: If God isn't leading the fleet to Earth, can they ever find it?
Lee and Kara spent a few of the remaining night cycle hours together, but they had at some point migrated to the couch and draped their clothing over each other to preserve their warmth. Though there was always the risk of having someone coming to the office, they both knew the hatch had been sealed up by Kara long ago, not to mention the chances of someone other than her approaching this particular room at such an hour was negligible. For a few hours at least, they slept together in relative peace. Just before morning reveille, Lee had woken her despite how he hated to do so, and both of them dressed in relative silence, though their faces were a testament to the happiness they both felt.
Inside the small room, they were cushioned and preserved from the reality of their situation. There was Sam and their military obligations, the memory of Zak and the chance of a disapproving elder Adama, all sitting between them outside the hatch. For the moment, there was a mutual agreement to ignore it, and before either of them decided to leave, Kara had him pressed up against the door. Lee felt the pain of the hatch handle digging into his back but he didn’t think about it, instead choosing to focus on the taste of her and what it was like to have her completely to himself for one more night. She backed off first, tucking her hair behind her ear, her head giving a quick movement towards the door behind him.
“You head back first. I’ll wait five minutes before I follow.”
Even without considering the possibility of Anders finding out, the last thing the two of them needed was the entirety of the senior pilots’ bunk to catch them walking in together should the occupants of the room be awake early. No, instead they’d retreat to the room, hoping to find it still immersed in darkness to give them cover as they each slipped into their racks.
Lee proceeded as ordered and he laid in his bed, unable to sleep. He heard the familiar creak of the door open and quiet foot steps until the motion came to stop across the way from him where Starbuck’s rack was. He pulled the curtain back just barely and watched her casually undress, back down to her underwear and a single tank top. When she sat down onto the thin mattress, Kara glanced over to him, their eyes catching. Immediately, he relived every minute of the hours they’d spent together. She laid down in her bed, still holding contact with his blue eyes as she tugged the curtain nearly closed. Like him, only the few inches where her head rested on her pillow remained exposed and the two of them lay watching one another until they both fell asleep.
-
They saw little of each other once work began on the algae planet, at least with any amount of privacy. Adama put Kara in charge of the work on the ground while he took care of the fleet, and for the first time in a longtime, she fell back into the sense of responsibility she felt throughout her time as Commander of Pegasus. The only hitch in it was that she was in charge of both her husband and Lee, and with the small quarters temporarily set up down on the planet, it left the three of them uncomfortably close. It had been much easier to avoid Sam on Galactica, hiding behind CAP and her duties, than it was when she arrived on the planet to find that her husband had already staked out a pair of cots for the two of them, side by side. Lee had looked visibly ill at that realization.
They’d been there over two weeks and their stomachs were finally full, the production ship working at all hours to restock the fleet with something edible, if a little bit disgusting in flavor. The freighters were nearly at capacity as well, and all the people on the ground thanked the Gods for it. The stench of the planet was unbearable, especially when knee deep in algae, and the only smell that rivaled it to Kara was when she had crawled into the belly of the brain dead Raider on that moon years ago. Her hair smelled of those faux biological guts and fluids for days.
The Raptor sped down through the atmosphere, landing just outside the base camp set up beside the nearest body of water and their prime location for harvesting their new food source. The sound of the engines filled the air and both Lee and Sam looked up towards the designated makeshift landing zone from where they worked.
“That should be Kat,” Lee stated, trying to play down how vested his interest was in this particular ship. Kara had gone up with Kat the night before on the small ship’s daily return trip to Galactica in order to brief his father on the ongoing project. Their mission was completed and over half of the population selected to help had returned to their homes among the stars, leaving the dwindling numbers to pack up and gather the equipment used in collecting their would be meals. She was due back today and all morning long Lee had watched the sky as he baked under the heat of the planet’s nearby sun, waiting for her return, even if it wasn’t particularly to him.
“Should be,” Sam replied, though there was a tinge of something else to his voice. Lee side-eyed him, feeling the stare of the taller, bulkier man. He and Kara had been careful to keep what happened under wraps, but even he hadn’t been able to not indulge in a couple of looks they’d shared since then. Once, and only once, they’d slipped away to be somewhere alone in the guise of a scouting mission to the nearby mountain. Though the recon had been somewhat legitimate, they hadn’t exactly behaved like they were just there to do their job. It never got as far as it had back in her office on the eve of their arrival on the planet that was to be their saving grace, but when they returned to camp, Lee could still feel the burn of her husband’s eyes on his back wherever he went. It didn’t matter that Kara and Sam hardly behaved as if they were a married couple, there was something territorial about Anders and Lee couldn’t exactly blame him.
Without further excuse, Lee abandoned the metal case he had been filling with hoses and clamps, his path set on intercepting the Raptor and its occupants. The door was already open when he got there and Kat’s tiny body emerged from it, helmet already off and left inside the ship. Her head gave a nod of acknowledgement to him.
“Anything else ready to go back up?”
“Tyrol and Cally have got most of what’s ready, you should probably go and help them out,” Lee said with a glance back towards the half-circle enclosure that had been their makeshift home. Kat proceeded back towards the small settlement and he didn’t envy her one bit as she was fitted into the plastic of her flight suit. He was hot enough half clothed, those extra layers must have been killing her. With his mind giving up thoughts of Kat, or whatever her name really was, Lee climbed onto the wing of the ship and into the main cabin. Kara pulled her body out of the co-pilot’s seat, eyes steady on him as she did. The fact that this was the most privacy they’d had in weeks wasn’t lost on either of them.
“Major,” he said with a hint of a smile.
“Captain.” Kara gave an ascent of her head in a timid greeting. It was all for show, though, because in an instant she had closed the space between them. Lee pulled harshly at the zipper of her flight suit, forcing the shoulders and sleeves of the material downward. They were too close to the other members of the fleet, the door was wide open, hell, someone could have even looked through the window of the cockpit and caught them. Perhaps, though, that was what made it so much more exciting. “I’ve been dreaming about this for days,” she spoke with a smile on her face and that grin was laced into her words.
“You mean while you sleep next to Anders?” Though he knew she’d interpret it differently, he had meant it as a form of pride in himself. To know that even beside her husband, she was dreaming of him was a small victory. A victory which barely eased the pain of knowing she was keeping up the charade of a marriage she was in. Lee kissed her hard and his hand palmed aggressively against her breast, an echo of the night they shared.
Kara didn’t let his words deter her and her hand gripped roughly at his side and his back, bringing their bodies in as close together as they would both allow. “Do you think he knows?”
“Sam?” Lee questioned her between kissing her jaw. A mumble of agreement was given from deep in her throat and he felt the vibration as he kissed her neck. “I don’t know.” It was a lie to bring them both comfort. Maybe if he said it aloud, he would actually believe Sam didn’t suspect a thing. The pyramid star wasn’t stupid, though. Lee knew that much. Even before something had recently transpired between Lee and Kara, the two of them had never gotten along, even temporarily. They had been amicable at the start of their time on New Caprica, but something had changed between them and never righted itself. Now, Lee knew it never would. There wasn’t forgiveness for frakking someone else’s wife.
She softly moaned in contentment when there was the loud sound of footsteps outside the Raptor. Both of them froze instantly, but the intruder was already in view of the hatch. They expected the worst as they quickly tore apart, instinctively fixing their own clothes.
“…Forgot my radio,” Kat said, for once sounding quiet.
Kara drew the side of her hand across her mouth, like that action alone would wipe Lee off of her. Her eyes rose to meet Kat’s as the pilot reached just barely into the ship for the plastic radio abandoned on the floor. There was a truce between them in the silence they shared. Just as Kara had done right by her and kept her secret, Kat would keep Kara’s. Had it been anyone else, Starbuck would have been overwhelmed with the fear of being outed, or at the very least a rumor started and circulated among the ship’s crew. There wasn’t anything of betrayal in Kat’s look, though, and Kara knew she was safe.
Kat moved to step away, pausing as she looked back over to Lee who had shifted to the complete opposite end of the ship’s interior, as if the distance between he and Kara would somehow rectify the situation. “It’s not my place, sir, but if anyone comes just up over that ridge, they can see right in here.” She didn’t wait for a response and didn’t bother with the salute before she left, the words of advice heavy in the air.
Lee’s fist pounded against the bulkhead, missing any important switches and indicators. “Frak!”
“Relax, Lee.” She tried to downplay it, assuming the role of the the calm half for them. It had usually been quite the opposite, with Kara out of control and frustrated and Lee calming her down, but today she thought she could fill in. “She won’t say a thing.”
“How can you just be okay with this?”
“What else am I supposed to be? Sam doesn’t know, no one knows except Kat. There’s no proof anyway, we deny it.” She took a seat down at the ECO station, hoping it would cement her words for them both.
“Are you really just planning on staying with him?” Apollo sounded both scared and hopeful all at once.
“I don’t know yet. Gods, Lee! We don’t even know what this is and you want me to just leave my husband!”
“How do you not know what this is?” Lee accused her and made up for some of the distance that he had put between them.
Her lips pursed tightly together, gaze leveling at him. “I’m thinking about it, all right? Just drop it, already. We’ve been working like dogs down here. I’ve barely had time to take a piss, let alone think about my frakked up marriage and what’s going on between me and you. So just back off, Lee. I’ll get to it when I get to it.”
It was the confrontation he was expecting from her at some point when everything came to a head, but that didn’t mean her indecision came to him any easier. He had been prepared to give her all the time and space in the world, and in fact he had been ever since he returned to Galactica and they worked on mending the friendship between them. After their night together, though, it was like he’d gotten a taste of a drug and suddenly had to have more, all of it, and all the time. The only thing that kept him restrained had been the work they’d been doing and how completely exhausted it left them all at the end of the day.
With her words still lingering in the air, Lee stepped off the Raptor and headed back to the camp, leaving her behind with her own thoughts.
-
Galen glanced up towards the nearby mountain, feeling the irrational pull towards the heaping rocks and dirt. With the rest of the crew still working eagerly to finish packing, he began the long and slow climb uphill towards the mountaintop. It was there that he found the open space of the temple and its neatly carved and decorated walls. He approached what was the only sign of civilization they’d seen on the algae planet, hand rubbing over the etched design of a circle. He wiped at it until some of the dust cleared off it, exposing a brighter series of yellow, red, and blue.
“This place is amazing, isn’t it?”
He turned around to the familiar voice, catching sight of the other occupant he recognized by voice but not form as he hung in the shadow of a pillar.
“What are you doing up here, Sam?”
Anders stepped into the center of the room where some of the light spilled onto his skin. His head shook as if he was lost in thought while he looked around. “I don’t know… I was standing down there and I just looked up and saw the mountain and felt like I’d been here before, you know?”
The Chief nodded as he looked up to the immaculate ceiling that resembled all the temples he could remember seeing in his youth. “I had the same feeling. Like I just knew it was here, something was pulling me up to find it. It just feels…”
“Familiar?” Sam finished the sentence for him and across the open space, Galen nodded. That anxiety began spreading in his body all over again, just as it had in those days and weeks after they escaped the cylons the last time. Something had happened when he was out in that Viper, something he couldn’t explain. Just like that experience, there was something about where they stood that he also couldn’t explain. He watched the Chief of the deck from where he stood, a new feeling suddenly overwhelming him. If he had been inexplicably drawn here and Tyrol had felt the same thing, what did that mean? “Do you know what this place is?”
“It’s the Temple of Five.” There was no question in his words. Galen paced, taking in the details of not only the mandala design repeated in several spots but the ancient carvings. “The 13th Tribe stopped here on the way to Earth. We need to call Galactica.”
-
Though the Colonials had been lulled into an artificial comfort zone at not having seen any real cylon activity since the fight that had claimed Pegasus, their luck had run dry when a series of base stars jumped in amongst the fleet. The civilian ships had fled immediately, but Galactica remained behind, with Adama and Roslin unwilling to leave the remaining ground crew behind to preserve their own hides. Down in the mostly dismantled algae settlement, Kara took charge of their meager numbers.
“You all know your jobs and positions. Kat and I will be flying between each observation point with news of any sightings while the rest of you hard-wire in.” The group of people dispersed and she couldn’t help but notice the absence of a few faces. Kara approached Lee. “Where the frak is Sam?”
Lee kept his eyes down on his own weapon, pushing a new magazine in. “Not a clue, but my guess would be up at that temple the Chief thinks he found.”
Her teeth pressed into her lower lip, worrying over the skin there. “Most of these people are civilians. They haven’t got a clue what to do.”
“We’ll give them guns, tell them where to point, and hope we figure out something first,” said Lee. He slung the weapon over his shoulder and stepped to the doorway. They were the only two that remained. “Be safe out there.”
“You’re the one who’s going to be lying in the dirt, Apollo. I should be saying that to you.” Kara tried to make light of the situation, but nodded to him to let Lee know she understood the real meaning of his words. “Be safe.” She was alone in the room once she let out a shuddering sigh. “Lords of Kobol.” Kara didn’t even finish the statement. If the Gods didn’t know how she was going to finish that statement by now, she really was on her own.
-
With the crew paired off and camped at their observation stations, Kat and Kara both sat at the front of the Raptor as it skimmed through the atmosphere.
“Just keep going north of here to the next one, Kat,” Kara said from the co-pilot’s seat, letting the lower ranking officer man the controls. This was Kat’s ship technically, Kara just happened to be with her on her last trip down. Though their flights so far had been rather dull despite the tension in the air, it couldn’t remain that simple. They rounded a hill when Kara’s eyes caught immediately on the shine of chrome. A pair of missiles headed their way and the ship jerked up in response. Kat was already reacting to the oncoming storm and though it wasn’t really the time or the place, pride swelled up in Kara’s chest at the girl’s ability. She knew she had something to do with it.
There was only so much that could have been done though, and in an instant everything changed. The ship was hit and Kara felt them fall into a spin as command was lost. She reached for her own set of controls, fist pounding into the button at the console until her side of of the ship powered up and allowed Kara to make an honest attempt at leveling the Raptor out. It was chaos and she reacted purely on instinct as fire broke out over the electronics before them. Smoke filled the cabin and all she desperately tried to do was give them a fighting chance. The gauges were completely shot, not that she could even read them, so Kara was left to guide the bird down solely on feel. When the impact came she was certain she’d died, crossed over, and outside the Raptor door would be Elysium waiting for her. Or maybe not, she hadn’t exactly lived a good life.
“Kat? You okay?” Kara called to the girl beside her, but first pressed her arm into one of the buttons that triggered the release of the cabin door. The smoke was filling her lungs and she’d be lucky to survive a few more breaths unless oxygen had a way in. It cleared just enough for Kara to survey the damage around them. The front glass was cracked, a gaping hole leaving jagged shards of glass exposed, though the fire had put itself out. She reached to press into the harness release of her seat and was stunned by the consuming pain that spread through her. Kara drew both of her hands up in sync with one another, her head refusing to process what her eyes saw. Her gloves had all but completely melted, flesh exposed where the material had torn or been eaten away by the flames she’d endured in her struggle to keep the ship somewhat afloat.
Tears welled up in her eyes as everything came into focus. The pain hit her like a ton of bricks all at once and without question, it had been the worst she’d ever felt. Forget the gunshot on Caprica or her aggravated knee injury from when she had crashed on that moon. Gods, even forget the slam of her hand in the door by her own mother. She was sure there was a broken finger or two in the heap of seared flesh that was now her hands, but it paled in comparison to the consuming burn. At the end of her wrists were just lumps of skin and pain now, she could no longer even distinguish the individual fingers through feel alone. Her cheeks were damp with the result of her own pain and fear and Kara turned her head back to Kat, suddenly remembering she wasn’t alone in the ship.
“Kat,” she croaked out at her. The pain was endured as she forced herself to nudge her hand into the seatbelt release finally, crying out as the pressure only increased what she thought surely could not get any worse. Kara nearly fell out of her seat as she twisted towards where her pilot sat. “Kat, get up!” She was screaming at her now, prodding the body with her forearm. “Get the frak up!” Another yell and this one was muffled by her own cries. She could see blood already pooled on the floor, a thin river of it spilling from where Kat’s flight suit was torn apart, exposing equally mutilated flesh. “Kat!” She was quieter now, tears falling rapidly and Kara forced herself to endure the pain as she made her hands reach to turn Kat just enough to get a look at her.
Her brown eyes were open but vacant of any life, a smear of blood down her chin from where it began in her mouth. Her hand shook uncontrollably and she attempted to try to feel for a pulse at her neck. It was fruitless, of course, not just because her hands were completely useless, but because she already knew the truth. Kat was dead. The wound across the entirety of her gut was beyond mortal and she refused to look back down to it, in fear of seeing beyond the blood and into the very organs of her body.
Kara reacted violently at the realization, vomit pouring from her mouth as she threw up in the space between the two seats. She retched for what felt like at least a minute, unable to control herself as she cried out in frustration and pain, anger and grief at the loss. When her stomach finally stopped convulsing, she pushed herself out of the seat, face twisted as even the pull of muscles in her arms caused muscles further down in her hands to ache. She had to get away from the cockpit, away from the smell of her burned skin and the carcass of what had been her friend, but was now just a warm pile of something that used to be human.
Starbuck collapsed onto the floor once she was in the main cabin, unable to think due to the pain, both physical and emotional. Her booted foot kicked at the nearby upturned emergency kit until the latch gave and the contents poured out around her. She tried her best to gather the metal box containing morpha injections in her hands, even using her teeth to desperately open it. She succeeded in that at least, but staring down through tear filled eyes, she knew there was no way she’d ever be able to get the vial inside the injector and administer it to herself. She was going to die here, she knew it. She was going to die inside that Raptor in the worst pain of her life. Her body shook both from shock and the tears she didn’t know she was even still crying. A turn of her head was given towards the cockpit and all she could see of Kat, who she had left slumped against the bulkhead of the ship, was her gloved hand dangling limply from her seat and the puddle of blood commingled with Kara’s own algae flavored sick.
Maybe she’d already died in that crash or exploded into bits from a particularly good missile hit. This wasn’t Elysium, it was Tartarus and her soul was going to be forced to spend the remainder of its time in close quarters with a corpse.
Kara shut her eyes, willing her body to ignore the pain. It had no true effect though, and all she saw behind her eyes was the slack jawed face of Kat sitting only a few feet away from her. She sobbed out loud, giving a screech of anger, and slammed her hand into the floor. It only made the pain worse and she was absolutely lost in it, unsure of how long she had been there. One moment it felt like only a minute since the Raptor had crashed back into the soil, and then another moment it felt like absolute hours as she waited for her breath to stop. She eyed the gun on her leg and contemplated forcing herself to endure the pain for only a second in order to put herself out of her absolutely devastating misery.
It was during that thought when the rustle of brush and rushed foot steps surrounded the ship and she was neither quick enough nor strong enough to draw her sidearm in defense of herself. The sun blazed high overhead and behind the shape of the person that emerged, having the effect of darkening their features to her. Between that and the delirium that was overcoming her from the pain, it was hard for her to see who it was. “Lee?” Her voice trembled as she questioned the body before her, her mind going for the one person in the worlds she wanted to see right then. Even if she was imagining it, she would be happy to go to her death pretending to be in his arms.
“It’s me, Kara,” The voice was soft and soothing and he stepped up onto the ship, climbing in. Only then with the sun blocked out was she able to fully take in the face that had come for her. “It’s Leoben.”
Tears returned to her as she heaved with her sorrow. She wanted to die in some kind of peace and now even that last wish was to be taken from her. “Don’t!” Kara screamed and it echoed in the metal surrounding them. “Don’t frakking touch me!”
Leoben didn’t listen, instead kneeled beside her as his hands went for the contents of the morpha container, the vials spilled out on the flooring. He loaded one dosage into the injector and stabbed it through her suit and clothes, down into the meat of her leg.
The reaction was immediate, her body relaxing at the sudden relief. She could breathe again, the pain not weighing her down. The physical relief, however, didn’t blind her to the fact that she was now alone with the cylon she hoped to never see again. Kara hated that a part of her, even one percent of her, was thankful for the mercy he showed when he’d injected her with the mild anaesthetic.
“You have to come with me, Kara. You don’t die here, this isn’t where your destiny ends.” Leoben pocketed the rest of the morpha, then reached for her as she batted him away with all the strength she had left in her body. Her arms swung at his own, even employing the use of her fists despite the slightly dulled flare of pain she felt when they made contact with him. He was a lot stronger than her though, even when she was in the best of shape, and Kara was no match. His arms hooked under her armpits, dragging her out of the totaled vessel. She resisted the whole way.
“I can’t! I won’t leave her here!” Her feet kicked at the wing of the Raptor, pushing the rest of her body against him in hopes to jar his footing. Leoben was prepared, however, and accommodated whatever she threw his way.
“She’s gone. God will take care of her soul now, but you need me to take you to your next step, Kara.” He had her completely away from the ship finally, attempting to help her stand up.
“You’re not a human! You won’t ever die so don’t pretend you even understand where her soul’s gone. You’ll never know,” Kara growled at him from where she sat in the dirt, refusing to use her legs to stand. She wouldn’t give him what he wanted, wouldn’t make it easy for him, it just wasn’t Starbuck’s way.
Leoben looked down to her, never before seeing Kara more like a child than she was right then. All those things he’d said to her, about her past and her mother, he could see the broken child she’d become because of it. He ached for her, even though he logically knew he had no parents and no understandable way to relate. “You can believe what you want, Kara, but you aren’t meant to die out here, like this. You think that I’m just a cylon, just a machine. You never try to understand the things I see or the things I know about you.” He crouched down beside her. “You’re special, Kara.”
Those three words brought back so many memories of her past, some happier ones from when she was very young, though those specific memories had faded overtime as she grew older. The ones that stung, the unhappier moments of her past, overwhelmed her. He dared to say that to her and though he was calm and kind, all she heard in her head was her mother’s taunting voice. All she felt was every wound ever inflicted on her.
“No I’m not!” Kara lunged at him, attempting to wrestle him to the ground. Leoben was surprised by her and fell back, but his momentary weakness didn’t last long. She reached for the gun at her thigh, only to find it missing. He had to have unholstered it from her sometime between now and that morpha injection in the Raptor. She’d been a fool not to notice.
He didn’t treat her with force or violence, he even subdued her with an odd kind of gentleness that unsettled her. Leoben pulled one of the morpha injections from his pocket and mimicking his earlier actions, loaded it up and injected her with it. “I’m sorry to do it like this, but I need you not to fight me the entire way.”
With a double dose of the medication in her, she became increasingly docile. Her head swam in the flood of pain relief, the rest of her body going nearly numb. Leoben hoisted her over his shoulder and began the long trek to where she needed to be.
-
From a few klicks away, Mathias watched with binoculars down at the scene. She and the marine with her had rushed to the site of the crash following the smoke, hoping to rescue either of the pilots alive. They’d been too late, though, just catching sight of that particular skinjob hauling Kara’s nearly limp body away.
She began the return trip with her partner not too far behind, rushing to where she knew was the closest hardwired observation point. “Give me Apollo,” Mathias said into the comm, panting hard until he was on the line. “Captain, Major Thrace’s ship went down a little while ago. I got to the crash site, but she looked to be injured and one of the cylons was already hauling her off. At this distance and with the weapons we’ve got, I couldn’t be sure the shot I took wouldn’t have hit her instead.” She paused, listening to the voice on the other end of the line. “The raider isn’t back that way, my only guess is he’s coming towards you. Towards the temple.”
-
Barolay handed off the receiver to Lee and he put it to his ear, unsure of both who it was and what information they were about to relay. “This is Captain Adama,” he said, sounding professional and firm despite the chaotic nature of the situation they were in. Even without knowing what his father was dealing up above them, the situation was dire enough on the ground. The blood rushed away from his face on the news that Kara’s Raptor had gone down. His ears rang, barely hearing the next words from over the crackle of the line. She was waiting for him to respond, he could tell that much, and Lee barely choked out the words. “Where were they headed?”
He didn’t wait for any more information after the marine had indicated her assumption. The temple. The cylon was bringing her up the side of the mountain and into the temple. Lee glanced to his left, catching sight of Tyrol with the box in his hand that would light up the temple with the flip of a switch. He and Sam had both been a pain in his side since they’d met up with them, the other two insisting they do everything to preserve the temple rather than blow it so the cylons couldn’t have it. Jean screamed at them to push the button, to get it over with, and Lee’s eyes swarmed with panic. What if Kara was already inside?
“Stop!” Apollo yelled and reached for the box, ripping the wires out of it so there was no accidental flip of a switch. Everyone stared at him with confusion, even the two men who had vehemently protested the makeshift plan. “We have to go back in.” Lee jumped over the mound of dirt and rocks they’d pushed together in the mountainside to provide some kind of cover. He took off running back towards the entrance, Sam and the rest of them following soon behind him, shouting the entire way.
-
Inside the temple, Baltar and D’Anna pulled the charges out of the explosive packs affixed to the walls. Nearby, one of the Ones calmly paced around the perimeter of the room, clearly far less interested in the surroundings than the cylon and human pair beside him. He looked up when their silence was interrupted, expecting to see some of the Colonial military storming in and ready to send them back to their resurrection ship. Unlike some of his brothers and sisters, he didn’t really mind the dying part. Sure, it wasn’t fun, but he wasn’t particularly attached to any one body of his. If he died, he’d be reborn, and then he would move on. It was simple.
Leoben came through the doorway, fatigue setting in as he lowered Kara to the ground. During the final stretch, the first dosage of morpha had begun to wear off as her body metabolized it rapidly. She’d become aware and fought him as best she could, which wasn’t very well at all, but it had served to make the last portion of the journey something of a struggle.
“So that’s where you went to,” the One said, his hand motioning over to the female human on the floor. “I thought your obsession with her was over with.”
“It isn’t an obsession,” Leoben ground out, for once displaying something of anger with the model that acted as the de facto leader of them all. He kneeled beside Kara, paying no mind to the One, Three, and former President of the Colonies. “We’re here, Kara.”
She was weak and barely awake, the fight having gone out of her once Leoben had settled her on the floor a minute earlier. “I won’t play your games anymore, I know how you work.”
“These aren’t games.” Though he still had the same soothing tone, she would have sworn he seemed a bit offended by her accusation. “Don’t you see, Kara?” He asked and slipped his hand just under her chin as he directed her vision across to one of the carvings on the wall. Rather than look to the symbol, Leoben kept sight of her face.
Kara blinked quickly, squinted through the haze that fogged her, eyes locking on the mandala staring back at her. It wasn’t immediately that she recognized it, but when she did, her eyelids spread apart wide, mouth hanging slightly open. She looked back to Leoben, angry at his self-satisfied smile he wore in honor of her obvious recognition. “Why did you bring me here?”
“No, Kara, you brought us all to this place. It was meant to be, don’t you feel it?”
For one painful moment, Kara felt something kindred between her and the cylon. “I don’t know what it means, Leoben.” In a strange way, she felt as if she failed both him and herself.
“You will.” He smiled. This was perhaps the happiest moment of his existence. It wasn’t love from her, but it was close enough. She wasn’t fighting him and the intimate tone she used said a million things. For now, it would be enough.
From the dais, D’Anna’s voice rose in frustration while Baltar stepped back in bewilderment. “I did as the hybrid asked! I’m the chosen one!” There was anger in her words, but mostly a sense of abandonment and desperation. For some time now she had been dreaming of the images of the final five cylons when she stepped into that gap between one body’s death and another’s life. It consumed her completely and everything she once thought herself to be was given up to pursue what she felt and knew to be her destiny. She was to know the faces of the remaining cylons, some that she considered to be Gods.
“Maybe you should calm down, you know, breathe. It’ll come to you,” Baltar said, hands flowing through the air in an effort to calm her down from the sudden ledge she had figuratively climbed upon. “Just focus.”
Looking up to the ceiling of the temple, she closed her eyes and did her best attempt at achieving some kind of inner peace, as if that would help them to reach out to her. She balled her hands into fists, trying to tune out all the other occupants in the room. “Let me know who you are! Show me your faces!” She had journeyed all this way, only to be left behind in the end.
“Hey! Shut the frak up already.” Sam shouted from the doorway with Galen beside him, D’Anna’s head whipping around to lay her sights on them. It served a good enough of a distraction, as Baltar, Leoben, and John also turned to see the intrusion. Lee, Jean, and the remaining marines and crew burst in through the other entranceway. Though Lee knew he was technically in charge of the crew of people that remained, he couldn’t find it in himself to lead them at that moment.
His eyes burned into the sight of the Leoben model crouched beside Kara’s crumpled form. It was New Caprica all over again to him, and he ran forward with every ounce of speed he had, turning his body into a weapon against the stronger machine. Lee’s body impacted against Leoben’s, knocking him down and onto the stone floor, though Apollo’s own body followed, unable to stop the momentum. They struggled against one another, Kara watching from only feet away, weak and helpless. Lee had the upper hand, straddling the cylon’s body as his fist pounded once then twice into Leoben’s jaw, artificial blood spraying across the floor. Every hit he delivered was payback for every one Lee received at the hands of him or one of his copies, for every word he’d ever said to Kara that made her doubt herself. He was lost in the blind rage of it until Kara’s voice cut through.
“Lee! Stop!”
He didn’t even take time to process the words, just acted as if he was the one who was a robot, accepting his orders blindly and without question. Chest taking heavy breaths, he rolled himself off the cylon who still alive but not fairing exactly well as he choked and coughed on his own blood.
“Kara? Gods, are you all right?” Lee crawled over and he wrapped her in his arms, unable to take the time to check for injuries first. She yelped in pain and he released her instantly, pulling back just enough to take a look at her. Forget the way she’d been after four trips through the radiation cloud and suffering from severe malnutrition, this was the worst he’d ever seen her. Kara was pale, as if she was frozen through and through, but her skin was covered in a thick sheen of sweat. Splotches of blood covered her uniform and it was torn in some places, adding to the rest of her disheveled appearance. She was barely hanging on by a thread, he could tell, and that was even before he caught sight of where the real damage had been, her hands. “Someone get me a frakking emergency kit, anything!” Lee yelled back to the rest of the room, unaware if they’d taken it successfully or the rest of his team had fallen to the cylons. He demanded the focus of her eyes, hands cupping her dirty cheeks. “Stay with me, Kara. It’s all over, I’ve got you.”
They had, in fact, overcome the cylons. Cavil’s body was bloody and lifeless. D’Anna and Baltar were both also on the floor, though just unconscious as the rise and fall of their chests indicated. Leoben was still alive, but only barely, a marine having bound up his hands behind him as a precaution.
“Leoben, he has morpha in his pocket,” Kara pleaded with Lee as he cradled her in his arms. That dulled sensation was starting to fade away now, bringing back the sharp sting of all her pains to the surface. The nearby marine searched Leoben for the items and brought them to Lee, who assembled the proper dosage and stabbed the needle into her skin. It killed him to see her like that, and just her behavior told him what she had gone through. She had pulled herself back from certain death on that moon despite her injury, fought her way through Caprica and back. She’d survived being the last ship off of a battlestar with a collision course set for a cylon baseship. But now, right now, Kara Thrace was absolutely physically and emotionally wrecked.
Sam helped tie up Baltar and D’Anna, another precaution, his eyes kept on Lee and Kara as they sat together on the other side of the room. He wanted to go to her, make sure she was all right. Though she was his wife, it suddenly felt like it was no longer his place to do so. Lee had her now and Sam knew at least she would be safe.
“Kat’s dead,” Kara whispered softly against Lee’s shoulder. He said nothing but held her a little tighter.
“Captain,” Tyrol said from a few feet off. “You’re not going to believe this but…the sun’s gone nova. We need to get the frak off this rock now.”
With hopefully the worst behind them, the weary group began preparations to make it back to the set of evac Raptors at the bottom of the hill with a few extra bodies in tow.