First, I'm so so glad Kara pulled out of that spin and I loved her righteous anger at Leoben and how she just wanted answers.
And then the aggressive (and very smoking!) sex and how it turned into something far more sentimental for Kara, well for both of them really.
And then goodness. My heart broke for Lee with his comment about wishing he could be Zak for her, and for everyone. D: D: And then Kara took it so completely the wrong way and was so upset.
Lee’s eyes closed as his own tears grew. “Kara,” he said, his voice quaking. “I’m sorry I’m not him.”
Whoa. Just.....just.....WHOA. Oh, LEE.
The emotional hits in this story just keep on coming. I'm not sure if that idea has been explored much in fic - at least it hasn't in any fic I've read - but I can see it being true. And Kara....
“This is Baltar all over again, except this time I didn’t even do anything.”
Ouch. Kara, Kara. And of course everyone sees them at their messiest moment - which is, sadly, pretty accurate. Whoa again. And sigh.
That conversation had been something I was holding onto for a few days. I originally wrote it into an earlier chapter and then decided to save it for now which in turn changed a lot about how things went between them after it.
My Lee and Kara have been relatively calm and quiet for the two of them, so I knew it was going to be headed to some kind of loud, big fight sooner or later. This chapter (well technically two since I split it into 15 + 16) took me so long to write compared to my others, and not just because it was long. I think I must have written 4 or 5 alternate ways for some of the scenes to go -- ie, different characters talking, different arguments, different ways to leave things -- but this was how it turned out in the end. It made me so sad to write, but I think it worked.
Wow. So many interesting things in one single chapter. The mandala, Leoben, Kara almost died, the confrontation and later the confession... I liked that part so much, by the way. I've always thought it was so, so sad that Lee had no inkling as to what was going on on Kara's mind when he let her fly in Maelstrom.
But what really broke my heart was his statement about wishing he were Zac. I think he might have meant that he wanted to have been to the one who made her happy or that he was more carefree or spontaneous or something like that. But that was not what he actually said and I find it hard to interpret it in any different form what Kara took it to mean. Especially the part about everyone wishing him were Zac. The only other person who could have thought that was his father. Unless he had always felt like that. That would be a really different take on his relationship with his brother.
I think that when Lee made his confession to her, he meant a whole lot of things. As confident as Lee always was in things like his flying and his obedience to regulation, I always got the feeling that he really wanted to buck the system (and he did later on, of course only after the worlds were gone anyway) but was too afraid. He was always too uptight for a variety of reasons (including being older and witnessing the relationship his parents had and his mothers decline) and he wished he had been more carefree, trusting, optimistic, like Zak. He wished he could get along with his father better, something that didn't really happen even prior to Zak's death. Just like Zak wished he could be a pilot like his older brother, Apollo saw things in Zak he wanted to be as well. He wanted to be Zak for Kara because she had been so different back then, and he wished he could restore that to her. She loved his brother first and Lee would have done anything to have the roles switched
( ... )
They both frakked up. Lee for not figuring out a better way to put his worries, Kara for seeing the worst and not letting him fix it. Had she not already been so raw from the events of the day, maybe it would have gone differently for them.
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First, I'm so so glad Kara pulled out of that spin and I loved her righteous anger at Leoben and how she just wanted answers.
And then the aggressive (and very smoking!) sex and how it turned into something far more sentimental for Kara, well for both of them really.
And then goodness. My heart broke for Lee with his comment about wishing he could be Zak for her, and for everyone. D: D: And then Kara took it so completely the wrong way and was so upset.
Sigh. My heart just aches for them.
Reply
Whoa. Just.....just.....WHOA. Oh, LEE.
The emotional hits in this story just keep on coming. I'm not sure if that idea has been explored much in fic - at least it hasn't in any fic I've read - but I can see it being true. And Kara....
“This is Baltar all over again, except this time I didn’t even do anything.”
Ouch. Kara, Kara. And of course everyone sees them at their messiest moment - which is, sadly, pretty accurate. Whoa again. And sigh.
Reply
My Lee and Kara have been relatively calm and quiet for the two of them, so I knew it was going to be headed to some kind of loud, big fight sooner or later. This chapter (well technically two since I split it into 15 + 16) took me so long to write compared to my others, and not just because it was long. I think I must have written 4 or 5 alternate ways for some of the scenes to go -- ie, different characters talking, different arguments, different ways to leave things -- but this was how it turned out in the end. It made me so sad to write, but I think it worked.
Reply
But what really broke my heart was his statement about wishing he were Zac. I think he might have meant that he wanted to have been to the one who made her happy or that he was more carefree or spontaneous or something like that. But that was not what he actually said and I find it hard to interpret it in any different form what Kara took it to mean. Especially the part about everyone wishing him were Zac. The only other person who could have thought that was his father. Unless he had always felt like that. That would be a really different take on his relationship with his brother.
And the cat is out... Wow.
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