note to self: write about NOT pokémon next time
TITLE: Wind/Unwind
AUTHOR: Minder, minderwritesit
FANDOM(S): pokedressing
CHARACTER(S): Oak & Red, various others in flashbacks.
PROMPT: 200. Emptiness
RECIPIENT: kanapima.
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: Implied violence and neglect.
SPOILERS?: n/a
PREVIEW/SUMMARY: Red is a blank, broken little thing, but it wasn't always that way.
WORD COUNT: 532
Two weeks before Silph, Red asks Erika to help him clear out the Team Rocket members from the Celadon Game Corner.
He found the entrance to their hideout, he says. He knows that they’re selling and hurting pokémon, he says.
He needs help, he says.
He can’t do this alone, he says.
(She had smiled during their battle, peaceful and calm, not even upset when she lost and had to give him the badge.)
The day he asks her for help, she smiles, peaceful and calm, and says: no.
He feels-he feels betrayed. Angry. Upset.
(He goes into the hideout on his own and feels scared, and panicky, and alone.)
After that he tries not to ask for help.
-
Two hours into Silph, Red meets Green at the center of the seventh floor.
He shouldn’t, mustn’t feel surprised, and yet he does. After Lavender, the depths to which Green will sink should never catch Red off guard anymore, and yet…
Green came all this way.
Green climbed all this distance.
Green went through all this trouble.
…Green wants to battle, and nothing more.
Team Rocket, Red says. They’re killing pokémon, he says. The employees, the president, they need help-he says.
Green laughs that arrogant laugh of his, smiling his infuriating smile, and says: I don’t care.
And really, Red shouldn’t, either, hearing that, but. He bites down on the swell of hurt in his chest and battles his rival just to get it over with.
(Just like how he bites down on a scream of pain when Giovanni sends him flying into a coffee table, twenty-two minutes later.)
After that Red tries not to want to ask for help.
-
Two days after Silph, Red has managed to compress his terror and fury into something dull, muted. Controllable.
He battles Sabrina for the Marsh Badge.
You should have done something, he doesn’t say, eyes cold.
Sabrina is a psychic. She hears the accusation anyway, in her mind, and says: I dislike battling.
Red feels nothing. He forces himself to feel nothing, and to move on.
The remaining badges pass him by in a blur. He tells himself he is fine. He forces the nightmares and hatred and fear back down his throat, with a little less difficulty each day, and keeps going.
(One day, he finds himself transported to an island far away, a strange place where people won’t stop asking if he’s alright.)
-
I’m here for you, Red, Oak says for what feels like the hundredth time. Stubborn. Insistent. This man who insists on treating Red like his own grandson. Like family. Like Red should trust him the way Red doesn’t trust anyone anymore.
Red says nothing. Red feels nothing. He-can’t. (He mustn’t.)
But when Oak moves forward again for what feels like the hundredth time, tries to soothe Red and tell him he’s going to be okay for what feels like the hundredth time, tries to treat Red like he cares for the hundredth time…somehow, Red listens.
For whatever reason, this one time, Red doesn’t fight the embrace, allowing himself to collapse in the professor’s arms, shaking through his whole body, and Red feels-something.
...It’s a start.
AUTHOR: Minder, minderwritesit
FANDOM(S): pokedressing
CHARACTER(S): Oak & Red, various others in flashbacks.
PROMPT: 200. Emptiness
RECIPIENT: kanapima.
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: Implied violence and neglect.
SPOILERS?: n/a
PREVIEW/SUMMARY: Red is a blank, broken little thing, but it wasn't always that way.
WORD COUNT: 532
Two weeks before Silph, Red asks Erika to help him clear out the Team Rocket members from the Celadon Game Corner.
He found the entrance to their hideout, he says. He knows that they’re selling and hurting pokémon, he says.
He needs help, he says.
He can’t do this alone, he says.
(She had smiled during their battle, peaceful and calm, not even upset when she lost and had to give him the badge.)
The day he asks her for help, she smiles, peaceful and calm, and says: no.
He feels-he feels betrayed. Angry. Upset.
(He goes into the hideout on his own and feels scared, and panicky, and alone.)
After that he tries not to ask for help.
-
Two hours into Silph, Red meets Green at the center of the seventh floor.
He shouldn’t, mustn’t feel surprised, and yet he does. After Lavender, the depths to which Green will sink should never catch Red off guard anymore, and yet…
Green came all this way.
Green climbed all this distance.
Green went through all this trouble.
…Green wants to battle, and nothing more.
Team Rocket, Red says. They’re killing pokémon, he says. The employees, the president, they need help-he says.
Green laughs that arrogant laugh of his, smiling his infuriating smile, and says: I don’t care.
And really, Red shouldn’t, either, hearing that, but. He bites down on the swell of hurt in his chest and battles his rival just to get it over with.
(Just like how he bites down on a scream of pain when Giovanni sends him flying into a coffee table, twenty-two minutes later.)
After that Red tries not to want to ask for help.
-
Two days after Silph, Red has managed to compress his terror and fury into something dull, muted. Controllable.
He battles Sabrina for the Marsh Badge.
You should have done something, he doesn’t say, eyes cold.
Sabrina is a psychic. She hears the accusation anyway, in her mind, and says: I dislike battling.
Red feels nothing. He forces himself to feel nothing, and to move on.
The remaining badges pass him by in a blur. He tells himself he is fine. He forces the nightmares and hatred and fear back down his throat, with a little less difficulty each day, and keeps going.
(One day, he finds himself transported to an island far away, a strange place where people won’t stop asking if he’s alright.)
-
I’m here for you, Red, Oak says for what feels like the hundredth time. Stubborn. Insistent. This man who insists on treating Red like his own grandson. Like family. Like Red should trust him the way Red doesn’t trust anyone anymore.
Red says nothing. Red feels nothing. He-can’t. (He mustn’t.)
But when Oak moves forward again for what feels like the hundredth time, tries to soothe Red and tell him he’s going to be okay for what feels like the hundredth time, tries to treat Red like he cares for the hundredth time…somehow, Red listens.
For whatever reason, this one time, Red doesn’t fight the embrace, allowing himself to collapse in the professor’s arms, shaking through his whole body, and Red feels-something.
...It’s a start.