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Nov 24, 2007 01:20

 
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Comments 17

wendygrewup November 24 2007, 17:27:54 UTC
i move so much, i don't even know what time zone i'm in right now
i don't cry anymore either, even when i should and even when i want to, i don't
or can't and i'm not sure about very much at all

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applenoire November 27 2007, 03:40:43 UTC
i finally cried yesterday.

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simplertimes November 25 2007, 02:44:59 UTC
I have been having really intense dreams lately that make me kind of afraid to go to sleep. But at the same time, when I wake up I wish I could slip back into the dream again. I wish I knew more about dreams. I read an interesting quote the other day by this psychologist, I forget his name, where he said, "Dreams tell us where we are, not what to do".

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applenoire November 27 2007, 03:42:09 UTC
i think i realized my desire to stay awake at the end of the day is to postpone the inevitability of tomorrow's disappointments--like, the sooner i fall asleep, the sooner tomorrow comes, and sometimes it's like i'm waiting to figure the puzzle out, and i don't want to give up on what i've gained during the day for it all to be lost during the night. strange.

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simplertimes November 27 2007, 04:45:14 UTC
I know what you're talking about. I have this feeling like going to sleep is kind of a way of giving up. Sometimes I force myself to stay awake because I feel like if I go to sleep, I will miss something that will sort of put everything to rest. Like if I wait long enough, I'll stumble on that final missing puzzle piece. I seem to be running into a lot of things lately that deal with losing something, and I guess I view sleep like what you said, losing what you've gained throughout the day. Strange, yes. You'd think if you view days as a series of disappointments, you'd kind of welcome sleep as an escape. But I guess it's kind of a no win situation-you sleep to escape one day only to wake up to another. I don't know if I've quite got all of that figured out yet. Why do these things have to be so complicated?

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applenoire November 27 2007, 05:34:17 UTC
aye, it's tricky. that's why i listen to folk music. :) they know all about this shit...and nina simone too...good god!

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this_lovely_day November 25 2007, 20:32:53 UTC
i feel almost the same.
the not crying thing is strange. i wish i could, i've always cried alot, now i keep it all inside somehow. it dosn't feel healthy. i mean, there are still reasons to cry.
is this growing up? i don't know if i like it.

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applenoire November 27 2007, 03:43:01 UTC
aye, yeah, if this is growing up, i don't want it either. it's like becoming more of a ghost each day.

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miss_scarlet25 November 25 2007, 22:20:26 UTC
* i am a liar.* why?
whats going on with you?
and yes that what you are describing, just sounds far too familiar.
<3

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applenoire November 27 2007, 03:47:16 UTC
i say that i'm a liar because i have to hide certain aspects of my self or my life to everyone i know (except for almost one individual), and it leads me to lie about where i've been, what i've been doing, who i've been seeing; i lie to my parents: i tell them i'm doing fine (i can't tell them the truth about certain problems i have) and i lie to this guy i'm "seeing". it makes me feel bad, 'cause i've always been pretty honest, but now i feel like such a two-timer, like i'm leading not only a double life, but a triple or quadruple. it's rough on me.

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miss_scarlet25 November 27 2007, 17:41:46 UTC
wow - yes indeed.
ive been lyingo parents about everyone ive ever been seeing - if they found out it would be quite literally the end of the universe right there and then.
but i wish you luck and hope things sort themselves out soon.
<3

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vaiyu November 28 2007, 18:29:49 UTC
applenoire November 29 2007, 19:55:57 UTC
is this your music or someone elses?
thanks for the share, anyways. :)

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