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r3dux January 20 2011, 17:37:53 UTC
Saw your post on the writer's block thing. I just want to say that this is how I feel about myself sometimes. Feeling worthless. I come from a Chinese family too and I wasn't raised like Amy Chua raised her kids. More like I was raised the western way having lived in Canada when I was small and my parents expects me to be like a child raised in China. Want to say that I totally understand how you feel about not living up to your parent's expectations.

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applesands January 21 2011, 09:04:17 UTC
Thanks. Something about knowing that I'm not the only one who feels this way is comforting. Hope you're able to deal with that feeling!

(It must be a Chinese thing)

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r3dux January 21 2011, 19:02:57 UTC
It probably is a Chinese thing. Only Chinese parents are this uptight about child rearing and parenting. How many western parents you've seen are like that? I don't know how old you are but for me, when I was younger it was hard to deal with but now close to my 30's, sometimes I still feel that way even though my parents are more relaxed now. To deal with the feeling, I just try to ignore it and focus on other important things in life like trying to achieve my dream career, that kind of thing.

You sound a lot like me when I was younger lol. Can I add you as a friend?

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applesands January 22 2011, 07:19:00 UTC
Actually, in my case, my parents weren't very uptight at all. It's just that when I did poorly in school, they'd get on my case, and when I did alright, they let me conduct my own school life. Some Western parents are the same way, I think. But most Chinese parents are uptight, as are most Korean and Japanese parents. I think most Asian cultures are like this.

Some childhood experiences can have long lasting effects... But it's good that there's always a way of coping.

I'm sixteen. If you still want to add me knowing that, then by all means :) I wouldn't mind a new friend (especially one that has similar interests as me. Your dream career sounds awesome and I hope you achieve it! Yes, I did some lj stalking research).

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thejesusfanatic February 20 2011, 20:13:24 UTC
I might know what your talking about =), when I was a kid I always sought the approval of my Dad, but he never gave it to me. It drove me to manic depression, cutting, porn addictions and eventually suicide.

I had zero self-worth and I hated myself and everything about me. He found me amongst all my shame, fear, hate and rage and found a heart I never knew I had. In the end, I cried so many times and he healed me.

So I get what you mean about not living up to your parents. This might make you feel better, as long as you live I'll love you, and so will Jesus, so don't ever feel like a waste or worthless.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be here.

From JesusFreak

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