Class could actually help..
In one of my classes I've been debating on dropping we have a journal assignment for the semester...he's just gonna look to see we did it..not to read it...i've done this for him before. I think it might be a good thing to just keep the class..mainly for this assignment..I think it could help me...a lot...check it out..
JOURNAL ASSIGNMENTS
1. GIFTS
When you drink the water, remember the source
Spend some time answering the following questions in your journal. What gifts have been given to me that I might have to opportunity to:
Exist?
Learn?
Create?
Experience Life?
Serve?
Begin by going to Blackboard Assignments under “Genetics.” Read pp. 112-117. Notice the number of miracles each of us experienced in the formation of our bodies. The article lists examples of the initial gifts we each receive before birth. Hopefully these pages will encourage a mind set for examining the innumerable gifts we receive each day.
2. Early Memories
Genuine gold fears no fire.
For this assignment take time and write down as many early memories as you can. The earlier the memories better. Record up to the age of seven years or ”there abouts”. If you have no memories before that age then record the earliest memories that you can recall.
Second: As you lived through those events you may have made decisions about life & yourself? If you made core decisions about life, were they helpful or harmful? Do you still live by them? If yes, what impact do they have in your current life?
Third: Do some core decisions need to be changed? If yes, what new decisions would you choose to replace the old ones?
Fourth, Could any of these beliefs about life or yourself be relevant as you work with inmates & offenders.
3 Time Line
You cannot help shoots grow, by pulling them up
Draw a time line of your life beginning a birth to the present. Give elevation to the line when something positive happened and drop the line below average to reflect those events that were painful/negative.
Write down what you learned at those important points, positive or negative. Did you make a decision(s) at that time which have been reflected your personal values? In what ways has the decision been helpful? In what ways has that decision been harmful? If harmful what re-decision now would make your life more enjoyable & creative?
4. Childhood Home
On earth no feast lasts forever
Close your eyes. Imagine yourself back in a childhood home that you remember. Let the pictures emerge. Don’t include what you think ought to be there. Just what you remember. You many want to focus on a single room at a time.
*What do you actually see? People? Furniture? Other objects?
*Look around the room for details
Now try to re-experience your other senses in relation to this room: colors, smells, tastes, touch.
Now attend to the emotions you associate with the room.
Become aware of the people who were in your childhood home: their faces, gestures, postures, clothing. How did they interact with you?
Were they positive or negative influences?
5. Three Ego States:
Adult, Parent, Child
“The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.”
According to Eric Berne a person can gain valuable insight into who he/she is by evaluating one’s behavior. A set of categories for behavior analysis is Parent, Adult & Child. Each represents an Ego state. These ego states are inherently neutral. How they are used is all important.
Parent Ego State: Parental behavior is initially driven by the rules & regulations one inculcated while growing up. Many were helpful such as, “Do your best & then relax whatever the result may be. and Learn from experience.” Other rules were harmful, for example, “your stupid”, “don’t be you” or worse “don’t be”.
One’s religion will also be a source of rules, some helpful, others less than helpful. For example, “Be aware of & nurture the spiritual part of your being.”
However a religion that flips between love on one side and fear & punishment on the other, can create beliefs in the person that are confusing and ultimately, can interfere with the individual achieving the full actualization of the individual’s full potential.
When a person talks out of the parent there is a certainty in the voice. They are telling the other person how to live his/her life. Such a statement can be spoken with love and with the knowledge that the other must make up his/her own mind. Or it can be spoken with ultimate authority, where no deviation from the rule is tolerated. That can be spoken out of love with the desire to protect the loved one.
Unfortunately, it is frequently done in service of the ego and used to dominate a spouse or child.
Child Ego State: The child ego state is the moderator of life’s energy, creativity, play and ability to enjoy. . Its statements include “I want to play.” However when it is too strong nothing constructive gets done. After a while the individual has difficulty deferring gratification & we here messages like “I want what I want & I want it now.”
Adult Ego State: The Adult ego state is exceptionally rational and moderates between the Parent & Child ego states. It knows when to use information, which is best for the entire person, from the Child or Parent ego states.
Take time this week to ask your self what were the most important life messages you received from your mother and father. List one positive and one negative message from each of your parents’ ego states:
Mother:
Parent: ______________________________
______________________________
Child: _______________________________
_______________________________
Adult: _______________________________
_______________________________
Father:
Parent: ________________________________
________________________________
Adult: ________________________________
________________________________
Child: ________________________________
________________________________
Now discard the negative messages and write in a new message that reflects what you want to become regarding that part of your life journey.
6. Constructive Suggestions
Do not climb a tree to look for fish
People give us suggestions with simple statements such as “You don’t look so good today.” On a larger scale advertising is a multi-billion dollar industry based on the power of suggestion. For example if I want to sell a cold medication I begin the add with a very sick person. The first suggestion is “be sick.”
We also give ourselves suggestions. Self-suggestions are important for a number of reasons. First, they frequently begin in early childhood. We then tend to unconsciously repeat these to ourselves over the following years. Some are positive others work to our detriment. Second, if we become conscious of these early self-suggestions we can create “new and improved” suggestions that can make our lives more enjoyable.
For the present exercise I want you to say the following self-suggestion before going to sleep at night and upon awakening in the morning. “I will only react to constructive suggestions from self and others.” Do this for at least one week. Not in your journal any related experiences. An example: You may find your becoming more aware of negative suggestions from self & others.
7. Life Injunctions
Flowers look different to different eyes
In this exercise, consider your traditional life perspectives. It may include beliefs such as:
1. I must be good and not evil.
2 . Evil people will be punished with eternal torments
3. Good people will be rewarded in heaven
4. When I do wrong I should be punished.
5. I must be the best: I must be perfect.
6. Treat all people equally
7. Do not fail.
These are just examples. Ignore those that don’t fit for you and add injunctions that more realistically reflect your beliefs & life experiences.
Now ask yourself if these also influence your daily decisions? If the answer is yes, how do these shape your daily life?
Next, read the following life injunctions. Do they fit for you? Are there any conflicts between the twelve different injunctions?
8. My life is sacred.
9. I am sustained by innumerable life-gifts that are
constantly at work in my journey.
10. To a very large extent I am responsible for creating my
own reality.
11. My primary purposes in life include being creative, being of service, learning from all that touches my life.
12. My daily decisions are one way I create what I will be
tomorrow, in the next year, in the next decade.
13. There resides within me an inner-self that is wise and
caring. It is always available to me, if I take time to be
silent & listen to it’ suggestions.
14. Mistakes & errors are life’s attempt at teaching me, not punishing me.
8. Scripts
Beware the person with holy words & a snake’s heart
Scripts are patters for living. Their up-side is we don’t have to think about every decision that we make. They function, for example, the way a person acts when driving a car. Many decisions are automatic. Their downside is a person can unconsciously apply the script when making decision when it, in fact, can do more harm than good.
For example a young woman may have a poor relationship with a nefarious father & thus work from the unconscious belief that all men are basically untrustworthy and emotionally dangerous. Hence, out of a need for emotional self-protection, she avoids relationships with men or looks for men she can dominate.
Folks generally live by more than one script. Below are some common scripts. Do you know people who might be living out one or more of these scripts? Do any apply to you? How might the script be helpful? How might it be detrimental? Begin with I’m….
*I’m losing my mind Driving people crazy Trying hard
*Being the best Carry my cross Bossing others
*Saving sinners Walking on eggs Threatening suicide
*Being helpful Being Miserable Getting nowhere
Do any of these fit for you? What other scripts can you add?
9. Exploring Our World of Duality
Tigers & deer do not walk together
Exploring the Duality: Take a number of occasions during the week and complete this exercise. It comes in stages. (1) At different times during the day, ask yourself to become aware of the dualities going on around you at that time. Examples: Up/down, daytime/nighttime, male/female, personal positive/negative moods, computer/human, music/silence, etc.
(2) After completing that exercise a few times, focus on the dualities in your interpersonal life by recording them into one of three categories: Life Giving, Life Deadening, Mixed.
*Life Giving: these are the people, events, thoughts, activities etc. that nourish you.
*Life Deadening: Theses are the people, events, etc. that drain you of your life energy.
*Mixed: This is usually the largest category of people, etc. that are in some ways life giving and in other ways life-deadening?
Given the above are there relationships you should consider dropping? Are there any you should enhance?
(3) After writing down these thoughts you might ask yourself how and to whom are you Life Giving? How and to whom are you Life Deadening? Are you a Mix to some individuals? Who, where, how, etc.
10. Interpersonal Communication
A good bee never takes pollen from a fallen flower
This week I want you to focus on your interpersonal communication. While talking with another, try waiting until they have finished their thought before speaking. Patience on your part will be required until the skill is fully developed.
Notice your emotional reactions as they talk, e.g. boredom, excitement, etc. When the other talks incessantly what’s your emotional response. How different is your reaction when they truly want to hear what you have to say? What other observations do you make while you listen in this manner?
11. Personal Power to Change My Life
Rivers & mountains are more easily changed than a man’s nature
Thinking about our future is great for planning. Considering our successes & failures provides each of us with information necessary for future choices. However, some of us spend too much time thinking about the past and/or the future. The reality is, for each of us our power is always in the Now, not the Past or Future. In the present we make those simple and life changing decisions with a Yes or No.
After giving consideration to the above address your thoughts in your journal.
12. Self-Assessment
You can only help another person grow to the extent that you have grown and to the extent you understand yourself.
Using a scale of 1 to 7 with seven being the very best rating, assess your comfortableness with yourself in each content category. Your decisions should be based on your feelings about yourself at this time. If the question addresses two groups, self & others, & the answer applies to one group only, circle the appropriate grouping.
1_____________4_________________7
Low Moderate Very Strong
____ Hope
____ Optimism (positive attitude toward life)
____ Self-efficacy (ability to care for self emotionally & physically)
____ Problem-solving ability
____ Locus of control (do I control myself & my decisions or do
others control me)
____ Creativity
____ Wisdom (not education)
____ Courage
____ Positive emotions are dominant
____ Self-esteem (How I feel about myself)
____ Love (The ability to love yourself & others)
____ Emotional intelligence (How well you know your own
emotions)
____ Empathy (The ability to sense accurately the feelings others
are experiencing)
____ Attachment (Too distant-too dependent)
____ Forgiveness (The ability to forgive yourself & others)
____ Humor (This addresses constructive not critical humor)
____ Gratitude (very aware of gifts life has given you to not aware of
any gifts from life)
____ Spiritual Life (Your answer may or may not incorporate religion)
____ Morality (Do you have a strong moral code that you
live by?)
____ Coping (How well do you cope with everyday life?)
____ General Well-being (How well do you feel in body, mind &
soul)
Given the above information, ask yourself what seems to be the next step(s) in your journey to becoming more fully self actualized?
13. Boundaries
“All things have their unique place in the universe. They fulfill their roles simply by being what they are
Boundaries can be helpful or detrimental to a person, especially old beliefs the individual has not re-examined. For example, unconscious mental boundaries, can limit a person from reaching his/her fullest potential.
There are different types of boundaries:
a. Material boundaries: walls, skin, eyesight, travel by foot, car, and airplane.
b. Mental boundaries: beliefs about yourself and the world.
i. E.g. I can not live without _____(significant other). However after a few significant others have come and gone one may discover a new belief regarding the indispensability of the construct “a significant other.”
c. Spiritual boundaries:
i. Early spiritual beliefs: They can be local, rigid & provide security.
ii. Maturing spiritual beliefs: sacred texts are read & understood in new & different ways based on one’s maturing nature.
iii. Universality of human kind: Common beliefs are found in all major world religions & spiritual traditions.
Record the major mental beliefs you live by today.
d. Have any varied from earlier periods in your life?
e. If so, how have they changed?
f. Compared to the old beliefs, how have the new beliefs improved your life?
g. Looking back, how would your life be different if you had stayed with the earlier belief?
h. Do any of the major beliefs you live by hinder your becoming more fully yourself?
i. If yes, how does it need to change?
14. Parents’ Reactions
It is difficult to get off a tiger’s back
When you were a child how did your parents react to:
A sick baby crying at night?
A child’s approaching birthday?
A child breaking a family treasure or doing something forbidden?
A child’s having been sexually molested?
A child’s wanting a pet?
A teenager running away?
A teenager getting pregnant?
A teenager enlisting in military service?
The marriage of the last child in the family?
A presidential campaign in full force?
A relative wanting to come live at your home?
A panhandler in soiled, ragged clothes asking for a handout?
A relative needing custodial care?
Having a car accident?
Vacation or holiday?
Describe your reaction to each and, if relevant, address how you would handle the situation differently.
15. What I Bring to Relationship.
“Remember not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”
As we know relationships can last for moments up to decades. They can be positive, negative or a mix. If I respond in anger to someone going fast who cuts in front of me then at that moment there is relationship. With his driving he has not only intruded into my world but he also invites me to be more deeply involved in his world.
If I am wise I am probably best served by backing off & calming down. If I’m in a bad mood to begin with I may honk, flick him off, or reach into my car’s glove compartment for the 9 mm. In that case, not only has he intruded into my world but I have accepted his invitation to join him in the madness of his world.
Many an inmate is in prison because he said Yes and entered into the madness of another person’s world.
Throughout the day we are constantly being invited into the world of othe’s & inviting other’s into our world. What kind of world do we invite them into?
What gifts of person do you bring to these relationships? What negative personality traits do you bring these relationships? Make a list of each. It is a find & universal discovery that the good you bring far outweighs the negative.
16. Tomorrow & Visualization
Sow melon, reap melon; sow beans, reap beans
While words are important to brain functioning & personal growth, images are even more so. As a species we used images long before words were developed and today images are frequently attached to words as we speak or listen.
Most world class athletes understand the power of positive visualizations (images) and use them to enhance their performance when competing. Never has an athlete of this caliber talked about achieving his/her best performance by visualizing failure.
Most of us do not realize the degree to which we visualize our personal future into objective reality. In other words, in part, we create our reality by decisions and visualizations.
In this exercise you are to choose a troublesome issue in your life.
Chose a problem you ultimately have the power to change. For this coming week, before going to sleep at night and when you first awaken in the morning, visualize a positive and non-violent solution to that issue. Put a note beside your bed as a reminder and include space, on the note, where you can check off each time you visualize your goal.
If you think of it during the day, take a moment and again visualize the change you want to bring about.
Should you forget to carry out the visualization exercise, at first opportunity, recommit to your goal of visualizing your future. Avoid being self-punitive, it’s a poor visualization to reinforce.
17. Body Language
Remember silence is sometimes the best answer
The following assignment should be completed when you are alone. The exception being, you complete the exercise with a significant other who will give honest feedback in a manner that the message can be readily accepted. Carry out each exercise & then write down your thoughts afterwards.
Assess yourself on each of the following body messages:
Being available
Being emotional: sad, happy, etc.
Showing interest during a conversation. Listening intently
Hearing but not truly listening to what the other is saying.
Behavior when in an argument & you are really preparing a response not listening to what the other is trying to say
Appropriate gaze
Inappropriate gaze
Appropriate eye contact
Inappropriate eye contact
Be sensitive to interpersonal space
Be insensitive to interpersonal space
18. Paradox
Approach love & cooking with reckless abandon
Give thought to the following paradox: I am born with a limited amount of energy that is eventually used up when I die verses at each moment of my life I am sustained by the love & infinitely rejoicing energy of the Eternal. What is your solution to this paradox?
19. Exercise for Dealing with Negative Thoughts
What seems favorable can be fatal. What seems fatal can be favorable.
First, notice when you are having a negative thought.
Second, using your imagination pull the thought out, roots & all. Third, create comfortable positive emotion. Try this exercise a number of times. Record your reactions.
20. Sharing the Energy of the Universe
A single spark can set a prairie on fire.
Imagine the positive and rejoicing energy of the universe sustaining you constantly, in a ground of love. Now imagine you sending that energy to significant others. Notice that the more you send the more you receive. Record your reactions to the exercise.
21. A State of Grace
All things have their unique place in the universe. They fulfill their roles simply by being what they are.
Life teachings come in many forms. The most common is life teachings via pain. This exercise is a path out pain based learning. Imagine a state of mind where you grow personally through an acquiesce that is effortless, transparent & joyful. Practice this exercise a few times. Then record your reactions
22 Meaningful Moments.
Take some quiet time after asking yourself the following question. What moments in my life have given the most meaning to my existence.
23. Aliveness
In your opinion:
Why are we alive?
24. Death
In your opinion:
Why do we die?
25. Suffering
In your opinion:
Why do we suffer?
26. Hate
In your opinion:
Why do we hate?
27. Happiness
In your opinion:
Why are we happy?
28. Love
In your opinion:
Why do we love?
30. No Name
This exercise will require one or more participants. In this exercise you and introduce yourselves, that is help the other to come to know who you are, but you cannot use names. After the exercise describe your feelings and thoughts with the other and later in your journal.
31. Self-Observations
*What is your favorite hobby and what do you like about it?
*What is your favorite automobile and what do you like about it?
*What are your three favorite books and what do you like most about each?
*What is your favorite animal? If you were going to become an animal which animal would you choose? What would be the reasons for your choice?
*If you were going to be born again as an infant would you choose a wealthy family, middle-income or low-income family? What were the reasons for your choice?
JOURNAL ASSIGNMENTS
1. GIFTS
When you drink the water, remember the source
Spend some time answering the following questions in your journal. What gifts have been given to me that I might have to opportunity to:
Exist?
Learn?
Create?
Experience Life?
Serve?
Begin by going to Blackboard Assignments under “Genetics.” Read pp. 112-117. Notice the number of miracles each of us experienced in the formation of our bodies. The article lists examples of the initial gifts we each receive before birth. Hopefully these pages will encourage a mind set for examining the innumerable gifts we receive each day.
2. Early Memories
Genuine gold fears no fire.
For this assignment take time and write down as many early memories as you can. The earlier the memories better. Record up to the age of seven years or ”there abouts”. If you have no memories before that age then record the earliest memories that you can recall.
Second: As you lived through those events you may have made decisions about life & yourself? If you made core decisions about life, were they helpful or harmful? Do you still live by them? If yes, what impact do they have in your current life?
Third: Do some core decisions need to be changed? If yes, what new decisions would you choose to replace the old ones?
Fourth, Could any of these beliefs about life or yourself be relevant as you work with inmates & offenders.
3 Time Line
You cannot help shoots grow, by pulling them up
Draw a time line of your life beginning a birth to the present. Give elevation to the line when something positive happened and drop the line below average to reflect those events that were painful/negative.
Write down what you learned at those important points, positive or negative. Did you make a decision(s) at that time which have been reflected your personal values? In what ways has the decision been helpful? In what ways has that decision been harmful? If harmful what re-decision now would make your life more enjoyable & creative?
4. Childhood Home
On earth no feast lasts forever
Close your eyes. Imagine yourself back in a childhood home that you remember. Let the pictures emerge. Don’t include what you think ought to be there. Just what you remember. You many want to focus on a single room at a time.
*What do you actually see? People? Furniture? Other objects?
*Look around the room for details
Now try to re-experience your other senses in relation to this room: colors, smells, tastes, touch.
Now attend to the emotions you associate with the room.
Become aware of the people who were in your childhood home: their faces, gestures, postures, clothing. How did they interact with you?
Were they positive or negative influences?
5. Three Ego States:
Adult, Parent, Child
“The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.”
According to Eric Berne a person can gain valuable insight into who he/she is by evaluating one’s behavior. A set of categories for behavior analysis is Parent, Adult & Child. Each represents an Ego state. These ego states are inherently neutral. How they are used is all important.
Parent Ego State: Parental behavior is initially driven by the rules & regulations one inculcated while growing up. Many were helpful such as, “Do your best & then relax whatever the result may be. and Learn from experience.” Other rules were harmful, for example, “your stupid”, “don’t be you” or worse “don’t be”.
One’s religion will also be a source of rules, some helpful, others less than helpful. For example, “Be aware of & nurture the spiritual part of your being.”
However a religion that flips between love on one side and fear & punishment on the other, can create beliefs in the person that are confusing and ultimately, can interfere with the individual achieving the full actualization of the individual’s full potential.
When a person talks out of the parent there is a certainty in the voice. They are telling the other person how to live his/her life. Such a statement can be spoken with love and with the knowledge that the other must make up his/her own mind. Or it can be spoken with ultimate authority, where no deviation from the rule is tolerated. That can be spoken out of love with the desire to protect the loved one.
Unfortunately, it is frequently done in service of the ego and used to dominate a spouse or child.
Child Ego State: The child ego state is the moderator of life’s energy, creativity, play and ability to enjoy. . Its statements include “I want to play.” However when it is too strong nothing constructive gets done. After a while the individual has difficulty deferring gratification & we here messages like “I want what I want & I want it now.”
Adult Ego State: The Adult ego state is exceptionally rational and moderates between the Parent & Child ego states. It knows when to use information, which is best for the entire person, from the Child or Parent ego states.
Take time this week to ask your self what were the most important life messages you received from your mother and father. List one positive and one negative message from each of your parents’ ego states:
Mother:
Parent: ______________________________
______________________________
Child: _______________________________
_______________________________
Adult: _______________________________
_______________________________
Father:
Parent: ________________________________
________________________________
Adult: ________________________________
________________________________
Child: ________________________________
________________________________
Now discard the negative messages and write in a new message that reflects what you want to become regarding that part of your life journey.
6. Constructive Suggestions
Do not climb a tree to look for fish
People give us suggestions with simple statements such as “You don’t look so good today.” On a larger scale advertising is a multi-billion dollar industry based on the power of suggestion. For example if I want to sell a cold medication I begin the add with a very sick person. The first suggestion is “be sick.”
We also give ourselves suggestions. Self-suggestions are important for a number of reasons. First, they frequently begin in early childhood. We then tend to unconsciously repeat these to ourselves over the following years. Some are positive others work to our detriment. Second, if we become conscious of these early self-suggestions we can create “new and improved” suggestions that can make our lives more enjoyable.
For the present exercise I want you to say the following self-suggestion before going to sleep at night and upon awakening in the morning. “I will only react to constructive suggestions from self and others.” Do this for at least one week. Not in your journal any related experiences. An example: You may find your becoming more aware of negative suggestions from self & others.
7. Life Injunctions
Flowers look different to different eyes
In this exercise, consider your traditional life perspectives. It may include beliefs such as:
1. I must be good and not evil.
2 . Evil people will be punished with eternal torments
3. Good people will be rewarded in heaven
4. When I do wrong I should be punished.
5. I must be the best: I must be perfect.
6. Treat all people equally
7. Do not fail.
These are just examples. Ignore those that don’t fit for you and add injunctions that more realistically reflect your beliefs & life experiences.
Now ask yourself if these also influence your daily decisions? If the answer is yes, how do these shape your daily life?
Next, read the following life injunctions. Do they fit for you? Are there any conflicts between the twelve different injunctions?
8. My life is sacred.
9. I am sustained by innumerable life-gifts that are
constantly at work in my journey.
10. To a very large extent I am responsible for creating my
own reality.
11. My primary purposes in life include being creative, being of service, learning from all that touches my life.
12. My daily decisions are one way I create what I will be
tomorrow, in the next year, in the next decade.
13. There resides within me an inner-self that is wise and
caring. It is always available to me, if I take time to be
silent & listen to it’ suggestions.
14. Mistakes & errors are life’s attempt at teaching me, not punishing me.
8. Scripts
Beware the person with holy words & a snake’s heart
Scripts are patters for living. Their up-side is we don’t have to think about every decision that we make. They function, for example, the way a person acts when driving a car. Many decisions are automatic. Their downside is a person can unconsciously apply the script when making decision when it, in fact, can do more harm than good.
For example a young woman may have a poor relationship with a nefarious father & thus work from the unconscious belief that all men are basically untrustworthy and emotionally dangerous. Hence, out of a need for emotional self-protection, she avoids relationships with men or looks for men she can dominate.
Folks generally live by more than one script. Below are some common scripts. Do you know people who might be living out one or more of these scripts? Do any apply to you? How might the script be helpful? How might it be detrimental? Begin with I’m….
*I’m losing my mind Driving people crazy Trying hard
*Being the best Carry my cross Bossing others
*Saving sinners Walking on eggs Threatening suicide
*Being helpful Being Miserable Getting nowhere
Do any of these fit for you? What other scripts can you add?
9. Exploring Our World of Duality
Tigers & deer do not walk together
Exploring the Duality: Take a number of occasions during the week and complete this exercise. It comes in stages. (1) At different times during the day, ask yourself to become aware of the dualities going on around you at that time. Examples: Up/down, daytime/nighttime, male/female, personal positive/negative moods, computer/human, music/silence, etc.
(2) After completing that exercise a few times, focus on the dualities in your interpersonal life by recording them into one of three categories: Life Giving, Life Deadening, Mixed.
*Life Giving: these are the people, events, thoughts, activities etc. that nourish you.
*Life Deadening: Theses are the people, events, etc. that drain you of your life energy.
*Mixed: This is usually the largest category of people, etc. that are in some ways life giving and in other ways life-deadening?
Given the above are there relationships you should consider dropping? Are there any you should enhance?
(3) After writing down these thoughts you might ask yourself how and to whom are you Life Giving? How and to whom are you Life Deadening? Are you a Mix to some individuals? Who, where, how, etc.
10. Interpersonal Communication
A good bee never takes pollen from a fallen flower
This week I want you to focus on your interpersonal communication. While talking with another, try waiting until they have finished their thought before speaking. Patience on your part will be required until the skill is fully developed.
Notice your emotional reactions as they talk, e.g. boredom, excitement, etc. When the other talks incessantly what’s your emotional response. How different is your reaction when they truly want to hear what you have to say? What other observations do you make while you listen in this manner?
11. Personal Power to Change My Life
Rivers & mountains are more easily changed than a man’s nature
Thinking about our future is great for planning. Considering our successes & failures provides each of us with information necessary for future choices. However, some of us spend too much time thinking about the past and/or the future. The reality is, for each of us our power is always in the Now, not the Past or Future. In the present we make those simple and life changing decisions with a Yes or No.
After giving consideration to the above address your thoughts in your journal.
12. Self-Assessment
You can only help another person grow to the extent that you have grown and to the extent you understand yourself.
Using a scale of 1 to 7 with seven being the very best rating, assess your comfortableness with yourself in each content category. Your decisions should be based on your feelings about yourself at this time. If the question addresses two groups, self & others, & the answer applies to one group only, circle the appropriate grouping.
1_____________4_________________7
Low Moderate Very Strong
____ Hope
____ Optimism (positive attitude toward life)
____ Self-efficacy (ability to care for self emotionally & physically)
____ Problem-solving ability
____ Locus of control (do I control myself & my decisions or do
others control me)
____ Creativity
____ Wisdom (not education)
____ Courage
____ Positive emotions are dominant
____ Self-esteem (How I feel about myself)
____ Love (The ability to love yourself & others)
____ Emotional intelligence (How well you know your own
emotions)
____ Empathy (The ability to sense accurately the feelings others
are experiencing)
____ Attachment (Too distant-too dependent)
____ Forgiveness (The ability to forgive yourself & others)
____ Humor (This addresses constructive not critical humor)
____ Gratitude (very aware of gifts life has given you to not aware of
any gifts from life)
____ Spiritual Life (Your answer may or may not incorporate religion)
____ Morality (Do you have a strong moral code that you
live by?)
____ Coping (How well do you cope with everyday life?)
____ General Well-being (How well do you feel in body, mind &
soul)
Given the above information, ask yourself what seems to be the next step(s) in your journey to becoming more fully self actualized?
13. Boundaries
“All things have their unique place in the universe. They fulfill their roles simply by being what they are
Boundaries can be helpful or detrimental to a person, especially old beliefs the individual has not re-examined. For example, unconscious mental boundaries, can limit a person from reaching his/her fullest potential.
There are different types of boundaries:
a. Material boundaries: walls, skin, eyesight, travel by foot, car, and airplane.
b. Mental boundaries: beliefs about yourself and the world.
i. E.g. I can not live without _____(significant other). However after a few significant others have come and gone one may discover a new belief regarding the indispensability of the construct “a significant other.”
c. Spiritual boundaries:
i. Early spiritual beliefs: They can be local, rigid & provide security.
ii. Maturing spiritual beliefs: sacred texts are read & understood in new & different ways based on one’s maturing nature.
iii. Universality of human kind: Common beliefs are found in all major world religions & spiritual traditions.
Record the major mental beliefs you live by today.
d. Have any varied from earlier periods in your life?
e. If so, how have they changed?
f. Compared to the old beliefs, how have the new beliefs improved your life?
g. Looking back, how would your life be different if you had stayed with the earlier belief?
h. Do any of the major beliefs you live by hinder your becoming more fully yourself?
i. If yes, how does it need to change?
14. Parents’ Reactions
It is difficult to get off a tiger’s back
When you were a child how did your parents react to:
A sick baby crying at night?
A child’s approaching birthday?
A child breaking a family treasure or doing something forbidden?
A child’s having been sexually molested?
A child’s wanting a pet?
A teenager running away?
A teenager getting pregnant?
A teenager enlisting in military service?
The marriage of the last child in the family?
A presidential campaign in full force?
A relative wanting to come live at your home?
A panhandler in soiled, ragged clothes asking for a handout?
A relative needing custodial care?
Having a car accident?
Vacation or holiday?
Describe your reaction to each and, if relevant, address how you would handle the situation differently.
15. What I Bring to Relationship.
“Remember not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”
As we know relationships can last for moments up to decades. They can be positive, negative or a mix. If I respond in anger to someone going fast who cuts in front of me then at that moment there is relationship. With his driving he has not only intruded into my world but he also invites me to be more deeply involved in his world.
If I am wise I am probably best served by backing off & calming down. If I’m in a bad mood to begin with I may honk, flick him off, or reach into my car’s glove compartment for the 9 mm. In that case, not only has he intruded into my world but I have accepted his invitation to join him in the madness of his world.
Many an inmate is in prison because he said Yes and entered into the madness of another person’s world.
Throughout the day we are constantly being invited into the world of othe’s & inviting other’s into our world. What kind of world do we invite them into?
What gifts of person do you bring to these relationships? What negative personality traits do you bring these relationships? Make a list of each. It is a find & universal discovery that the good you bring far outweighs the negative.
16. Tomorrow & Visualization
Sow melon, reap melon; sow beans, reap beans
While words are important to brain functioning & personal growth, images are even more so. As a species we used images long before words were developed and today images are frequently attached to words as we speak or listen.
Most world class athletes understand the power of positive visualizations (images) and use them to enhance their performance when competing. Never has an athlete of this caliber talked about achieving his/her best performance by visualizing failure.
Most of us do not realize the degree to which we visualize our personal future into objective reality. In other words, in part, we create our reality by decisions and visualizations.
In this exercise you are to choose a troublesome issue in your life.
Chose a problem you ultimately have the power to change. For this coming week, before going to sleep at night and when you first awaken in the morning, visualize a positive and non-violent solution to that issue. Put a note beside your bed as a reminder and include space, on the note, where you can check off each time you visualize your goal.
If you think of it during the day, take a moment and again visualize the change you want to bring about.
Should you forget to carry out the visualization exercise, at first opportunity, recommit to your goal of visualizing your future. Avoid being self-punitive, it’s a poor visualization to reinforce.
17. Body Language
Remember silence is sometimes the best answer
The following assignment should be completed when you are alone. The exception being, you complete the exercise with a significant other who will give honest feedback in a manner that the message can be readily accepted. Carry out each exercise & then write down your thoughts afterwards.
Assess yourself on each of the following body messages:
Being available
Being emotional: sad, happy, etc.
Showing interest during a conversation. Listening intently
Hearing but not truly listening to what the other is saying.
Behavior when in an argument & you are really preparing a response not listening to what the other is trying to say
Appropriate gaze
Inappropriate gaze
Appropriate eye contact
Inappropriate eye contact
Be sensitive to interpersonal space
Be insensitive to interpersonal space
18. Paradox
Approach love & cooking with reckless abandon
Give thought to the following paradox: I am born with a limited amount of energy that is eventually used up when I die verses at each moment of my life I am sustained by the love & infinitely rejoicing energy of the Eternal. What is your solution to this paradox?
19. Exercise for Dealing with Negative Thoughts
What seems favorable can be fatal. What seems fatal can be favorable.
First, notice when you are having a negative thought.
Second, using your imagination pull the thought out, roots & all. Third, create comfortable positive emotion. Try this exercise a number of times. Record your reactions.
20. Sharing the Energy of the Universe
A single spark can set a prairie on fire.
Imagine the positive and rejoicing energy of the universe sustaining you constantly, in a ground of love. Now imagine you sending that energy to significant others. Notice that the more you send the more you receive. Record your reactions to the exercise.
21. A State of Grace
All things have their unique place in the universe. They fulfill their roles simply by being what they are.
Life teachings come in many forms. The most common is life teachings via pain. This exercise is a path out pain based learning. Imagine a state of mind where you grow personally through an acquiesce that is effortless, transparent & joyful. Practice this exercise a few times. Then record your reactions
22 Meaningful Moments.
Take some quiet time after asking yourself the following question. What moments in my life have given the most meaning to my existence.
23. Aliveness
In your opinion:
Why are we alive?
24. Death
In your opinion:
Why do we die?
25. Suffering
In your opinion:
Why do we suffer?
26. Hate
In your opinion:
Why do we hate?
27. Happiness
In your opinion:
Why are we happy?
28. Love
In your opinion:
Why do we love?
30. No Name
This exercise will require one or more participants. In this exercise you and introduce yourselves, that is help the other to come to know who you are, but you cannot use names. After the exercise describe your feelings and thoughts with the other and later in your journal.
31. Self-Observations
*What is your favorite hobby and what do you like about it?
*What is your favorite automobile and what do you like about it?
*What are your three favorite books and what do you like most about each?
*What is your favorite animal? If you were going to become an animal which animal would you choose? What would be the reasons for your choice?
*If you were going to be born again as an infant would you choose a wealthy family, middle-income or low-income family? What were the reasons for your choice?