It’s Written In The Sky (Your Destiny And Mine); fanxing (2/4)

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Part III - The Prince And The Unicorn

Chapter XVIII - Where unicorns are interesting

The Long Way was, unsurprisingly, long. Starting from the Eastern Forest, or Western, if you really wanted to listen to Yixing, the old road unravelled itself for miles like a giant snake, crossing the entire continent before finally diving into the Sea. They couldn’t see the end of it, lost in the distance.

“Five days” had said Yixing. Five days if they travelled fast, resting during the night and resuming to walking as soon as the sun rose.

“Why can’t we travel at night? You’re a unicorn, do you really need sleep?”

“Of course I need sleep, you airhead! Just because I’m magical and I shapeshift it doesn’t mean I don’t need to sleep, or eat, and by the way I hope you have lots of money in your royal bag because I’m starving.”

Yifan’s stomach agreed loudly. “Well, I hope you have money hidden in your white mane, dear Mr Purity, because my only bag of money was on Benben and should I remember you what happened to my horse?”

“Are you ever going to forget me for pulling that stunt on you? I was only doing your horse a favour, you treated the poor Kevin like shit.”

“So you decided to give him freedom, as a fellow equine? And what’s with Kevin? Benben, his name is Benben!”

“Well, I happen to know he hates the name you gave him.”

“This is not true, you’re only saying this to annoy me. Because you’re evil.”

Yixing threw his hands in the air, losing his composure for the very first time since their travel began. “I’m a unicorn, we can’t be evil!”

Yifan felt a pang of pride because finally, he was starting to get tired of being only one affected by their continuous banter. That, or hunger was finally getting to him.

“How long have we been walking? I’m hungry, I need to eat… I’m a prince, we’re not used to walk long distance without eating.”

He hated how whiny his voice sounded, even to his own ears, but he hated more the way Yixing rolled his eyes and snorted. “No, Yifan, you’re not used to walk, at all, since your horse usually do all the work for you. You’re not used to go around without a servant who fans your face and bring you fresh fruit and wipes away your sweat when it’s too sunny. We had our last break barely half an hour and you’re being a,” he breathed slowly to calm himself, before setting his lips into a thin line. “You’re not making me yell profanities in the middle of the street.”

He seized the opportunity. “Does that mean I can make you yell profanities somewhere else?”
Yixing was not amused, but he couldn’t fight the faint shade of colour that coloured his cheeks at the crude proposal.

“You’re not funny.”

Yifan sneered.

Yixing purposefully quickened his pace, trying to force him to walk faster if he didn’t want to be left behind, but Yifan’s legs were longer. He didn’t have any problem in keeping up with Yixing’s pace and, to be honest, he wasn’t even that tired. A little hungry, yeah, but not enough to complain like a child. It was just that, now that he finally had managed to coerce a reaction out of Yixing, he wanted more.

Their journey hadn’t started on the best terms, and he wasn’t referring to the whole fiasco with Benben, now renamed Kevin, running away with all of his money, food supplies, spare clothes and face cream. He wasn’t even thinking about the way he had being forced to go down on his knees, and his mind had no right to go and conjure alluring images of the way he would’ve really liked to go down on his knees for his companion, begging Yixing to help him find Jongdae.

Things were just very awkward. It was only him and the magical white unicorn who turned into a stupidly attractive young man at dawn and opened his mouth only to reprimand him or didn’t want to talk to him at all. Yifan had never had that much experience in social interactions outside the palace, but Yixing struck him as a cold person. He had a beautiful smile, but always so guarded, no matter how Yifan tried to make him really laugh.

He wanted to talk with him. As they walked, side by side, his mind had been flooded with question.
Had Yixing always been able to change his shape? What was the Moon like? Did he have any family? What was his favourite food? Was he able to fall in love?

His eyes fell on the soft curves of Yixing’s face, the dimple obviously not showing now that he wasn’t smiling, and Yifan had to suppress the urge to sink his fingers in Yixing’s cheek to see if it was as fluffy as it seemed to him.

He had so many things to ask, but just when he tried to vocalize his thoughts, his carefully chosen words failed him and the only thing that left his mouth made Yixing look at him with a condescending, annoyed look.

No one could really point out when they started to talk, for real. One moment they were at each other’s throats and suddenly the sun was setting and Yixing was looking apologetically at Yifan and changing back to his other form with waterfall of little sparks.

They hadn’t even realized it was so late, too engrossed in a heated discussion about flowers, Yifan’s mom had an impressive garden, but Yifan was starting to think that Yixing’s mom back in whatever place he came from, Yixing hadn’t been too detailed on that, had an even bigger one.

“I didn’t even know unicorns were able to switch back and forth to human beings.”

“Oh, that, yeah. Do you find it gross?”

He turned his face the other way, but the reddish reflection of the falling sun didn’t deceive Yifan. What’s with the blush? He didn’t blush before, while I was mocking him, why must he do it now that I’m trying to have hold simple small talk? Why must he make things so difficult?

No, Yifan didn’t find Yixing gross. He found him alluring and cute in his own strange way. Especially now that he wasn’t making fun of his survival skills or scolding him for mistreating poor royal horses. Especially now that he’d managed to delete that arrogant, superior air out of his face.

“No, not at all. I’m just curious.”

“When the legends you know about us were first formed, our kind wasn’t able to shapeshift. My mom used to tell me stories when I was a child. She said it was a gift from the Moon, from when a unicorn saved a star, a long time ago. We received the ability to become human, but now most of the people in my village can’t go back to unicorns anymore.”

“What do you mean they can’t go back?”

“They’re just human. I don’t know why. Mom said that when my moment will come I’ll lose that ability, just like her and dad. Kyunghee probably lost it too. She was my best friend, from the village. More like my only friend.”

Yifan doubted that a boy endearing like Yixing could only have one friend.

“Mostly because we were the only children in the village,” ah, mystery solved, “but she left last year and she never came back.”

He seemed sad. Maybe this Kyunghee had been his girlfriend. It sounded logic, after all, seeing that she had been Yixing’s only friend in the village. From friend to girlfriend the step was little.
“Were you sad when she left?” he asked, a bit suspicious.

Yixing seemed to think about it. “No, not really. I mean, we were friends, but I was happy for her. She went to find her own destiny,” he paused before concluding with a smile, “just like I’m doing now, apparently.”

That was when he started to glow and when the last ray of sun faded, Yifan found himself staring in awe staring in awe at his silver mane.

They still were in the middle of the street, the prince and the unicorn, but luckily there wasn’t anyone around. Yixing, though, grabbed Yifan by the sleeve of his by now outworn vest to lead him out of the road. They had been too careless. Who knew what kind of dangerous people could have seen Yixing’s magic trick, and with the former Lord dead and security starting to slip near the borders of the reign, he wouldn’t risk his companion’s safety. Nor his own.

“I can’t do this. Look, I can’t, it won’t work.”

Yixing snorted in annoyance.

Yifan threw the already consumed wood sticks away and sat down crossing his leg and staring maliciously at his companion, currently resting on a fortunate bedding of dried leaves and grass. For being a mute creature, he surely was very expressive. Maybe he couldn’t talk, but the look of exasperation and slight incredulity on his face every time Yifan had tried to make a fire had been very eloquent.

“Well, excuse me if I never lived in the wild on my own.”

Eye roll. Grumble.

Seeing that trying to light up a fire had brought him no visible results, Yifan decided to claim surrender. “Don’t push me, it’s useless. I give up.”

Yixing actually bit him, and his outraged scream resonated in the clearing they had chosen for staying the night. They could’ve looked for an inn, but Yifan wouldn’t have been to explain where did he find a unicorn. That, and none of them really wanted to go back inside an inn so soon, after the last incident with the witch.

Thinking of the witch made Yifan’s heart clench. Jongdae was out there with that crazy psychotic running after him, and there he was complaining about not being able to light up a fire.

In hindsight, he should’ve expected it. Even though he was the older, Jongdae had always been the more assertive, the bolder one. His dream had always been to travel, to live an exciting adventure like the ones in Yifan’s favourite books. Jongdae didn’t like books, but he always begged Yifan to tell him the stories he had read, and he dreamed of pirates, mermaids, epic wars and fallen princesses. He was also the kinder one, thought Yifan with a nostalgic smile, as he lost himself in hazy childhood memories where his brother covered for both of them. Maybe his father was wrong, maybe one of them was able to become the next Lord, after all, and Yifan wasn’t that one.

He shivered at the first flurry of wind, and got up on his feet to wrap himself in his royal cloak. He was looking forward to finally arriving in the Southern region. He had enough of cold and humidity ruining both his sleep and his hair.

Yixing whinnied, looking almost annoyed.

“What, now?”

Sending him a patronizing look, the unicorn settled back and leaned his body against a giant root, head pointing out to the space he had just cleared. Yifan looked at him puzzled. Yixing stared back.

“You, you left me some space? Wow, it’s very warm!”

Yixing only replied with a snobbish look before setting his head down and closing his eyes.

“Look at this dude acting all royal and prissy. And then he goes and tells that I’m the spoiled child. You’re just a unicorn, you know? Don’t act all high and mighty just because you’re warm and you’ve probably saved a me a night of sleeping on the cold ground. You’re still a big shiny glitter hors-mph! Hey!”

The long horsetail he had just used to slap Yifan’s face, right on his nose, was motionless laying on the ground.

“What, are you pretending to be asleep now? That hurt! Do you hear me?”

Finally resting his head on Yixing’s back, not without grumbling a little more, he finally fell asleep.

Chapter XIX - Where assumptions are made

“Have you seen two boys traveling together? One is tall, ominous, criminal face, the other is short and he has high cheekbones. No? Oh, it’s alright, thank you for your help.”

He bowed and came back to the main square, dribbling shouting merchants and colourful groups of women to reach Yixing, who was waiting for him at the fountain.

“Nothing?”

“He didn’t see them.”

“And the witch?” asked Yixing,

“I didn’t ask. She can trick mortals and change her face, so I thought it wasn’t worth the try.”

They stopped to let a party of dirty children pass, waiting until their joyful cries lost themselves in the crowd streaming through the morning market.

“Do you think they’re alright?” he finally asked, unable to stand Yixing’s worried face and the way his pale lips were set into a straight line.

“I don’t know,” was his reply. “I mean, they surely are,” he added, stealing a look at Yifan’s devastated face, “the compass would tell us if something happened to them. But they’re probably hiding in the woods. I’d do that if I were them.”

“That’s wonderful,” whined Yifan. “Jongdae and outside camping is just like me and outside camping.”

Yixing’s eyebrows jumped and Yifan knew what was coming. “You mean a nightmare?”

“Ahah. You’re always so nice to me. I still hope we can find some news on them when we reach the Governor’s palace. Maybe they’ve been here, but no one noticed.”

“Maybe. Maybe if you wouldn’t have described Taozi as a public menace… He’s a sweetheart, really.”

“Well, I don’t know it yet. When I meet him and I can be formally introduced to him I’ll let you know if he’s suited to talk with my brother or not.”

Yixing laughed softly at him. “You seems like a grumpy father.”

“Well, I am the older brother. Now that Father is gone I’m the only one who can protect Jongdae’s virtue.”

Yixing scoffed as Yifan led them through the stands, still trying to find his way towards the Governor’s house. The stalls selling snacks caught his attention, and he pulled absent-mindedly at Yifan’s sleeve.

“I want to try that,” he said, pointing to the candy stand. The vendor tauntingly waved chocolate sticks with little candy star on top under their noses and even Yifan felt his stomach stir, but they had no money.

“In a while, don’t worry. Now, where was the main street again?”

He had been in this city only one time, when he was still a child, and not only his memories were blurred, but also many things had changed. He wanted to curse again, but one of Yixing’s stern looks stopped the words when they were just about to spill.

“What?”

“Don’t you dare. Not in my presence.”

“First it was please don’t curse, now it’s become don’t you dare? What’s next? And how did you know?”

“I can sense profanities right when you think them. Ok, no kidding. You make such a constipated face when you’re going to say bad things.”

Something caught Yifan’s eye before he could come back with a snarky reply. The corner was the right one and the memories of years ago overlaid the reality of the present, fitting perfectly in his mind. He grabbed Yixing’s hand and started to run through the familiar road, feeling giddy and young, five years old again. He was grabbing Jongdae by the hand and their father was behind them, his powerful voice warning them not too fall on the street.

“Here we are!”

They stopped in front of a majestic estate at the summit of the hill, dominating the city beneath. Yifan remembered its marbled hall and the immense door made of golden oak. He also remembered turning around and looking down at the waterfall of houses roosted down the slope, enjoying how the messy warren of little streets, alleys and squares turned into a golden maze under the setting sun.

Yixing, right behind him, looked at the house with wide eyes, his mouth open in silent awe. He had never seen anything outside his village, and the sight of a miniature palace like the house of Governor Kim was probably amazing to him.

“You haven’t changed.”

Lu Han laughed at him. “I almost got a fit when the housemaid called for me to come and see if our guest really was my favourite cousin.”

They shared a hug, before Yifan playfully punched him on the shoulder.

“Are you really sure I’m your favourite cousin? I thought that was Jongdae.”

“You’re right, but you look really awful and I wanted to cheer you up.”

Lu Han’s smile was infectious and even Yixing found himself smiling back. Yifan realized that to his cousin, who had never seen him being less than presentable, his current attire was ridiculous. He had slept in the dirt for days and his cloak had probably forgotten its original colour.

“I’m a mess,” he admitted self-consciously, but Lu Han didn’t seem to mind too much.

“You know I never cared about appearances, I only tease you because you care, dear cousin.”

Then, with a wink, he added, “But don’t worry, Jongdae wasn’t in any better shape when he knocked at that same door two days ago.”

Yixing stopped staring at the carved architrave while Yifan spluttered the wine he had graciously accepted from the elegant hands of the other prince.

“Jongdae? He was here?”
“Was he alone?”

Lu Han stared dumbfounded at the boy at the window, who had dared to speak over one of the royal heirs.

With a glance of apology towards Yifan, he chose to answer Yixing’s question first. “He wasn’t alone. There was a tall boy with him, but he didn’t know any manners. Just like you.”

He turned his attention back to Yifan, “What’s going on, Fan? Shouldn’t the two of you be at home, at the palace? The reign is in turmoil, people are starting to whisper that the princes are refusing to do their duty, causing big tragedies with irresponsibility. Everyone is nervous. There must be a Lord, or Stormhold will fall. And you and your brother have left everything in the Queens’ hands to wander around with your little boyfriends while we’re risking a civil war!”

Yifan wanted to deny, to throw Lu Han’s accusations back at him because since when Han, the most irresponsible and frivolous prince of the reign had the right to say something like that to him?

But before he could say anything, Yixing’s voice pierced the air “We’re not boyfriends!”

Both the princes turned towards him. His face was, for the first time since he had known him, completely red and, Yifan realized with a sting, almost offended.

“I don’t know any manner, sir Lu of the Northern Estate, but please don’t assume things without really knowing them.”

Lu Han stared at him, not knowing what to answer. Yixing whispered a few rushed words to Yifan. “Please ask him what we need to know and let’s leave, we can’t waste our time like this. I have a mission to accomplish.”

Then, without another word, he left the room in a rush.

“What has just happened, Fan?”

“If only I knew.”

Lu Han was still looking at the closed door, not knowing what to think.

“It’s a long, long story, Han.”

Chapter XX - Where more assumptions are made

“I don’t believe a single word of what you’ve just said.”

“I assure you it’s the truth.”

“Do you expect me to really trust your words? Yifan, this is crazy! It seems like you’ve been using one of the legends about our ancestors as a cover up story. Now you’ll tell me that Jongdae’s friend is a star fallen from the sky! Are you mad? No, really, Yifan. Jongdae’s story had a lot more credibility.”

“Why, what did Jongdae say?”

“They’re eloping. Zitao’s girlfriend is looking for them in order to get her revenge on the boy who abandoned her and the other boy who stole her love.”

“And you believed it? Lu Han,” he sighed, chuckling and shaking his head, “Jongdae hates people. Do you really think he’s fallen in love just like this? In a few days?”

“I’ve seen the way Jongdae looked at Tao while they were here. Maybe you can’t believe that your brother can fall in love like this, but love is simpler than you think.”

“And what do you know you about love, Han?”

His question fell in the wide room as Lu Han walked to the wide window. A shadow fell on his face when he looked at the garden beneath. Yifan joined him, curious.

Yixing was sitting under the apple tree, laughing and smiling with another boy with pretty, dark eyes. Yifan had to struggle to reconcile the sight of this slim boy wearing green robes, the same green that Han was wearing, to the little child who had married his cousin in Stormhold two years before.

“He’s different,” he said, looking at Minseok and trying to keep the jealousy out of his voice and not to let his gaze wander towards Yixing, who looked pretty with his guard down. There were no sarcastic remarks, no shadows on his face. That he was able to make such a carefree expression when he wasn’t talking with Yifan was a quite annoying discover. He knew it was unfair, after all Yixing had always lived in his little isolated village and this was his first time meeting new people. He had the right to smile when he wanted and Yifan couldn’t demand exclusivity on his smile from him just because he had met him first. Still. So annoying. Yixing had never smiled at him so openly during their brief journey.

In the meanwhile, Lu Han’s gaze had never left his husband’s frail figure, eyes squinting a little in concentration and maybe surprise when Minseok took Yixing’s hand in his own to have a better look at it. He suddenly remembered that the sons of the Winter House were foreseers, able to predict someone’s future. Kim Minseok hadn’t been able to use his ability yet when they had met at his and Lu Han’s marriage.

“He can use it now?” he asked to a very unsettled Lu Han, who just nodded in response.

“Pretty, right?” Lu Han’s whisper was laced with reverence, and maybe sadness. “It still feels strange thinking that he’s actually older than me. Two years ago, I thought I was actually marrying a twelve years old.”

“You have quite a baby face yourself,” joked Yifan, but the air between them was tense.

“Yifan, do you remember how I was before marrying Minseok? Would you have ever believed that I could fall in love with someone?”

Yifan had a clear memory of Lu Han, hair in disarray and face red from drinking too much wine at the last palace event. He and Jongdae were quiet princes, always standing against the wall and making small talk with guests, sometimes running away to the balcony and talking about the world outside Stormhold high walls.

Yifan didn’t like to dance, but couldn’t refuse if asked. His mother had forced him to take ball lessons and in the end his figure, though not graceful, was impressive enough to make a good impression. Jongdae didn’t dance, unless his mother specifically asked him to indulge her. Her beauty and elegance reflected on her son, until he stepped on her foot and she was forced to lean on him, trying not to fall. The sight was so lovely that no one could complain. The entire Stormhold loved Jongdae.

Lu Han, on the contrary, owned the runway, like he was born on it. He flied from a partner to another, and if he wasn’t dancing he was talking, charming people with his quick tongue and killer looks.

“Sure, compared to me you’re too serous, Yifan. Almost boring I’d say, but things are exactly as they should be,” he had told Yifan one day, as they rode through the park of Lu Han’s estate, fourteen and bathed in sunlight. “Think about it. If I were an heir to the throne, like you or Jongdae,” he nodded to the younger boy, who was resting on the grass and looking at the clouds, his horse grazing flowers not too far away, “people would be worried because I’d be too frivolous to become the next Lord. I’d make a terrible ruler. But I am not. I’m just a rich noble who likes to have fun and be the name on everyone’s mouth the morning after every party. No one’ll expect anything else from me.” With that he had ran away, spurring his stallion and leaving Yifan’s behind with a shout of challenge. “Race to the lake!”

Yifan had envied Lu Han so much. No weights on his shoulders, no responsibilities, just the duty to be the dancing soul of Stormhold, chasing laughs and music. He wouldn’t have wanted to be in his shoes, partying hard had never been his thing, but he would’ve liked to be free like Lu Han was.

Turned out that even Lu Han, in the end, wasn’t free. He had always been light, maybe even cruel. He lived too brightly, and even though Yifan loved and cared dearly for him, he and Jongdae sometimes agreed that their pretty cousin didn’t always take other people’s feelings in enough consideration. So many girls and boys had tried to steal his heart, like butterflies swirling too close to a burning flame. Lu Han used to leave a trail of ashes behind him.

Rumours of his son’s questionable behaviour had reached his father, who had married the younger sister of the former Lord, and to protect the reputation of the family Lu Han had been exiled.

At the mere age of sixteen, barely old enough to marry, but not old enough to refuse - you were never too old to question the decisions of the Lord’s brother-in-law, unless you were the Lord yourself - Lu Han had finally met his fiancé, the son of the governor of the Winter Estate.

They were married in two weeks, in the most gossiped political marriage of the last few years, and Yifan had only had the time to said goodbye before Lu Han left the loud, intense life of the Palace to follow his husband in the isolated capital of the Northern region. He remembered Lu Han’s eyes, clouded and desperate, like the ones of a caged animal.

The Lu Han in the present was another person. His light laugh and devious smirk hadn’t changed, but there was something, about him, that Yifan couldn’t quite place.

“Did you fall in love with him in the end, Han?”

“Not immediately. It took time. Too much time.”

Minseok’s eyes raised up and met Lu Han’s. None of them moved a muscle, but Yifan could feel something electric passing between them. Anger, resentment, a tension so strong he felt like he was intruding. Lu Han broke their staring session with a sigh and left the window, gesturing to his cousin to follow him.

“Listen, Yifan, I don’t care about gossips. I’ve been here for two years and there’s nothing I would exchange my life here with the palace one for, so believe me when I say that I don’t want to know what yours and Jongdae’s real motivations are, or why you’ve both lied to me.”

Yifan hadn’t lied, but maybe being thrown so suddenly in this fairy-tale had twisted his acceptance limits. After all, no one had seen a unicorn in the last four generations, at least. Witches were almost extinct, and stars fell from the sky only in the oldest family books and lost village’s bedtime stories.
Maybe Lu Han was right, and this entire story was unbelievable, but Yifan was stuck in it all the same.

“The only thing I understood from both your fantasy tales is that Jongdae is in a great danger. If you want, you can take money, clothes and a horse if you need it, anything that can help you in your quest.”

“Thank you, Lu Han, you don’t know how much-”

“Wait, I’m not done. Just, I want you to remember something. Love is not something you can foresee, or expect. It just comes, turning your life upside down and blowing away everything you took for granted. In the end, you must survive with what has remained, even if it’s just the scraps.”

“I still don’t believe that Jongdae could fall so easily for someone he has just met.”

Lu Han’s eyes were deeper than he ever remembered seeing it, like he had seen things Yifan couldn’t imagine. Only a few months separated him from his cousin, but Yifan felt so young under Han’s scrutiny.

“I wasn’t talking about Jongdae. You’re looking at that boy like you used to look at the stars back in the palace, when you and Jongdae wanted to run away but the walls were too high for you two to climb. Maybe the one who’s falling it’s you. It doesn’t matter, if it’s bound to happen there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”

Lu Han’s speculative gaze pierced Yifan’s soul as they left Governor Kim’s palace.

“Do you still want the chocolate?”

Yixing didn’t answer.

“Hey, Yixing.”

“No, thank you.”

They were back on the Main Road, walking towards South, but little words were exchanged.

Yixing was still giving him the cold shower after the little fight for the horse. Since Lu Han had generously offered, Yifan would’ve gladly taken the opportunity to move faster and with less effort. Yixing has strongly refused, ending the argument with a firm, “You can ride the horse, if you want, but I’m walking and that’s definitive.”

Yifan could’ve ridden the horse, and he really wanted to. At least to not give Yixing the sick satisfaction to win this argument, but in the end he had decided not to push his luck.

Something was off with his companion. He had been on the edge since the painful shouting scene with Lu Han. Yifan had the strong feeling that Kim Minseok had said something strange to Yixing, but he didn’t know how to introduce the question to him since Yixing was stubbornly answering to him in monosyllables, no matter what the question was. If he was cold and guarded before, now he was glacial.

Yifan hadn’t personally talked with Minseok, just a brief, serious greeting. Lu Han’s words had been enough for him. To be honest, Yifan was starting to think that visiting Kim Governor’s house had been an awful idea.

Sure, I like Yixing, as a travel companion, but falling for him? Lu Han must be crazy.

Lu Han didn’t know anything. He couldn’t even believe Yifan’s whole story, there was no way he would ever be able to guess their true feelings and he was not going to make a fool out of himself because of the idle words of a too bored former fop.

And yet, the more he refused to think about it, the more the thought haunted him. In the middle of loud chatter of traveling caravans, merchants and hurrying knights, he and Yixing were the only silent ones. The absence of the usual bantering between them was heavy on Yifan’s mind, the silence louder than all the words they had shared, and the awkward tension between them made Yixing stand out more, like an eyesore in a well-known picture.

He couldn’t stop thinking about him, and Yixing’s name in Yifan’s mind sounded exactly how Lu Han had pronounced it, the slightly aristocratic tone of the capital he hadn’t lost after only two years.

“Yixing, right? It’s not a common name,” had said Lu Han with a conceited smile after Yixing’s hasty escape to the garden, and had Yifan kept in touch with the other prince during the last two years, he would have immediately recognized the hint of mocking hidden in his cousin’s word.
Only now, thinking back to their previous talk, Yifan could realize that Lu Han had probably really known from the start. His eyes had been too eager to follow and gauge their reactions.

He felt strangely guilty because he had never thought about his feelings for Yixing, other than admitting quietly that he liked the other boy’s company, and now he had found out that other people were already mistaking them as lovers. And not simply other people. Lu Han. Who may have been pretty fond of gossips in the past, but was still one of the most intuitive and clever boys he knew, and had known Yifan for years.

The more he thought about it, the more unsure he felt. He liked Yixing. He had no qualms about admitting it to himself.

From the way he wasn’t intimidated by Yifan’s patrician blood and never feared to answer back and make fun of him, to the way he hid his blush under the facade of harsh disapproval at Yifan’s sad attempts of crude jokes. He especially liked seeing Yixing’s eyes shining in curiosity whenever he saw something new, and having lived in the same little village for years he widened his eyes a lot, and the sight of him with his mouth slightly in a mute exclamation never failed to make butterflies fly in Yifan’s stomach.

So, what if he liked Yixing? Queen Wu and Queen Kim had liked his father enough to marry him, but the night of his sixteenth birthday, his mother had stealthily confessed to him that she had never been in love with the Lord.

That’s what I got for always sticking inside the palace. This is life, real life, and how am I supposed to know if I really like this boy if I’ve never been emotionally close with anyone apart from my own family? How can I know if this is just what friendship feels like, if I’ve never had a friend outside the palace? Maybe I’m fooling myself.

A carriage brushed against him and disappeared behind the curve, and only Yixing’s firm hold on his arm prevented him from scraping his face on the dusty road.

“Be careful,” warned Yixing in a low voice, before turning his back to him. Yifan’s arm tingled where he had touched it.

Lu Han was wrong.

Chapter XXI - Where you can always find a distraction if you're looking for one

Kissing Yixing in his dreams was easy, a bit like flying, a bit like drowning, as every dream is. The Yixing in his dreams didn’t turn into a unicorn at night, but laid on his side next to Yifan, and looked at the stars with him, teaching him the names of the constellation in his own language. The Yixing in his dreams didn’t show his palms to strangers in order to know his future, because he already knew that the future was theirs to own. The Yixing in his dreams was in love with Yifan, the young, foolish first love that he had always dreamed of, and between airy laughs and soft kisses under the Moon, Yifan had no choice but to love him back.

Yifan woke up to the sight of a sleeping Yixing. The sun was falling on their faces, little patches of light shining through the trees and onto Yixing’s skin. The boy was snoring softly, his face hidden in Yifan’s neck. He had probably rolled towards him unconsciously in his sleep.

He didn’t dare to move, too afraid to wake the sleeping beauty. It wasn’t the first time he had a chance to see him sleeping, and his heart still clenched at the memory of blood staining his clothes and Baekhyun hastily plugging the wound, but it wasn’t that usual either. Every time the sun woke him up, his companion was already awake and impatient to leave, so the sight of Yixing’s face lax and placid against his skin, hit Yifan in the chest and he found out he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

Under the shadow of the centenary trees, Yixing’s sleeping face held a vulnerability that he had never seen in him before, not even when he was risking his life against the fever and the weakness of blood loss. He was placid, serene, his smile so faint that the dimples were barely showing. Yifan felt almost like a thief, stealing a moment, an expression, a fragment of Yixing’s personality that wasn’t meant for him.

His guide was always too calm, collected, a perfection that bordered on stiffness. Yifan had to put every effort when he wanted to make him lose his composure, pushing and pulling and teasing until he finally managed to break it and see a glimpse of the real boy underneath it. Flushed, confused, amused. It was a nice change from his usual composed behaviour, but it still looked like everything was still laying underneath. A hidden treasure waiting to be found.

Yifan’s quest had begun on the day his father had left them, only he wasn’t sure what he was looking for anymore. He had begun his journey looking for a star and topaz jewel. Then he had switched to looking for his brother and save him from a mortal danger. Now, losing his gaze on the dark curls tickling his neck, he realized that he wanted to find Yixing’s secret smiles, the ones he hid behind his hand when Yifan found a crack around his armour and made him laugh. He wanted to discover the red in his hair, the vibrant colour that shone so bright under the light and disappeared as soon as the first passing cloud casted a shadow over Yixing’s head. He wanted to strip Yixing of all of that control and make him laugh freely at Yifan’s words.

“I want to know you,” he blurted out, shattering the silence.

“You already know me,” answered a grumpy Yixing, opening his eyes and scrolling the tiredness out of his face blinking and shaking his head like a confused puppy.

“What time is it? Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You were sleeping.”

As usual, he couldn’t read Yixing’s expression. They packed their things to hit the road again.

It happened in a heartbeat.

There was a caravan of wandering dancers coming from the opposite direction of the Long Road. They were probably directed towards the Winter Estate, and Yifan would’ve been surprised at their choice of clothing, far too light for the still frigid temperatures of the Northern Region, had he not known they were immune to cold. Their amber skin and colourful vests identified them as inhabitant of the Barelands, from the Deep South. They crossed Faerie every year, leaving their homeland at the beginning of spring to escape the searing summer sun, which power was, on the naked sand of the Barelands, deathly unforgiving, even for them. They were immune to cold, but the feverish weather of the desert would’ve killed them, and despite that they chose to come back every year, following a primordial instinct that led them back to where they were born.

Yifan hadn’t met a lot of them in his life. He had always lived in Stormhold, the giant stone city that stood at the centre of Faerie, like a beacon for all of the surrounding cities, surrounded by a chain of tall mountains covered in moor that has served as tombs for the Lord of Stormhold from the beginning of time, the High Crags. That was the original reign of the Lords, blessed by the gods and maintained over the years by the power of magic. The same magic was still ruining in the blood of the current generation, though neither Yifan nor Jongdae had never experienced it. The ancient Lords of Faerie had slowly gained with blood and death the right to rule over the entire known world, but their heirs had gradually left more and more freedom to the people, and the farthest regions were almost independent when Yifan’s grandfather had ascended to the throne.

In Yifan’s imagination, fuelled by a quick diplomatic visit of a Barelands Leader more than ten years in the past, the desert people were fluid and captivating, able to steal one’s heart with a little music and the grace of their bare arms and feet. He had only seen the most beautiful girls of the tribe, not less worth to being called Fairies than the Queens of Stormhold who were actual ones, but had he lived outside the Walls of Stormhold, the sight of a Bareland’s caravan wouldn’t have been particularly eventful, or even exciting. Every normal child in Faerie had seen dark-skinned, beautiful girls and boys dance at least two times every year. The caravans had a mutual agreement over their routes, and they made sure to stop in each and every village during their journey towards North, and then again when the leaves were falling and it was time to come back home.

He hadn’t meant for this to happen, but it just happened. The violet and gold gown of a blue haired woman caught his attention, and when she sensed him staring, she threw her veil over his head and trapped him in a cheerful dance. Her eyes were big, but her smile was bigger, and she let him go after a few playful swings, following the rest of the group and leaving Yifan alone in the middle of the road, to catch up with Yixing. And Yixing wasn’t there anymore.

With his height, it wasn’t difficult for him to scan the crowd and look for the slightly shorter boy, but he couldn’t find him anywhere. He stood still, eyes franticly running over every little detail of the chaotic, crowded road, but in vain. The caravan was already disappearing in the dust behind him when he realized, a dreadful feeling settling in his heart. Yixing had purposefully gone ahead by himself. He had been left behind.

Yifan carefully slowed the horse down, gently leading the animal under the light of the stars. It was waning Moon and the silver scythe on the sky was so thin he could barely see it. An actual misfortune for him, since orienting himself with so little light in such an uneven road was a risky challenge. Nevertheless, lighting up a torch would’ve revealed his position not only to Yixing, but also to everyone in the mile radius. A lonely knight riding in the night could easily fall prey of an ambush.

It was already clear, for him, that Yixing had decided it was time for them to part ways, but he couldn’t understand why. Having more time, he would’ve gone back to ask Kim Minseok what had he told the boy to make him so afraid and uncomfortable in Yifan’s presence. The bigger part of him felt betrayed, and rejected. It was illogical, since he hadn’t even confessed yet, because I have nothing to confess, screamed a high pitched, whiny voice inside of himself. His traitorous mind couldn’t stop replaying the shattered fragments of last night’s dreams, the one where Yixing kissed him. The one where Yixing smiled at him. The anger, the sadness, and an unidentified feeling that he had never felt before, a rugged and wounded pride he didn’t even know he had in himself, clattered in his confused soul, trying to convince him to forget about Yixing for good.

But he had to be rational, no matter what personal question Yixing had left unsolved when he had ran away, Jongdae was still out there, and since his priority was to find his brother and save him, he needed to find the boy with the compass. Only that.

He had no idea where Yixing had gone, though, and he could only travel according to what as Yixing had told him, straight until Lord’s Cross, and we’ll have to turn there, but I still don’t know in which direction. Maybe he had already known the direction but didn’t want to tell, maybe he was actually being sincere. He was a unicorn after all, and unicorns couldn’t lie, or so he had learnt when he was little. His only hope was to catch up with Yixing, or to find him by chance, but if the boy was smart, and he was, he had probably cut for the fields, avoiding the main road. He could do it because he had the compass, but Yifan had already enough problem at staying on the road. He’d probably be lost if he dared to enter the woods alone again.

A big cloud had covered even that little slice of silver light on the sky, forcing the prince to proceed more carefully. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he couldn’t notice the hooded figure waiting for him at the roadside, sitting on the damp grass.

“If you don’t stop being so distracted and focused on your thoughts you could end up losing your head too, you know?”

The voice startled him, and he fell from the horse. Instincts kicked in and he quickly rolled away as the scared animal ran away from him with a whinny. Another horse lost. It was starting to become a pattern. He turned his attention to the speaker, trying to understand whom he had to thank, this time.

“Didn’t you lose him in the same way? Distracted by a colourful woman, like a child hypnotized by a shiny toy, tsk. Is that all you’ve got, Yifan of Stormhold?”

The hooded figure smirked at him, and despite the dark, he recognized Baekhyun’s cheeky smile. Oh, perfect. He only needed to be scolded by this boy who seemed to hate him without a reason.

“I thought you were better than this. After all, I saved his life because I hoped that you two could be smart enough to help each other, and you left him slip away through your fingers. The only light who could lead you to your brother. Now what can you do?”

Yifan had never hated someone like he was hating Baekhyun. He was perfectly aware of the extent of his mistake, letting Yixing go could only mean the end of his journey, but at the same time he wasn’t ready to give up. Not yet.

He didn’t know what to answer, but Baekhyun smirked at him, the same superior smile he had thrown Yifan in the forest, when he had healed Yixing. He clearly didn’t like what he was seeing, if his unsatisfied face was anything to go by. He had already made too clear that his opinion on Stronghold’s birthline wasn’t one of the best so far, but at least something in Yifan must’ve appeared appealing to him, because his expression softened. In the end, he distractedly pointed towards a water pool on the other side of the forest.

“If you ran in that direction you’ll find a lake. He’s there. You can save his life if you’re fast enough, but this is the last time I can help you. My time is running out. And yours, too. You better run.”

Yifan scrambled on his feet, and bowed quickly to thank Baekhyun. When he raised his eyes again the cloud had dissipated, and the pale light of the Moon was falling on the spot where Baekhyun had stood, painting the black shadow over the grass silver and white. Baekhyun was gone and the world was silent.

Yifan ran.

Chapter XXII - What is found and what is lost

He wasn’t a fighter. They had taken sword lessons, he and Jongdae, but they just didn’t have the soul of a warrior, none of them. They lacked the instinct of hurting someone else, and the polished, sheltering life of the palace had only taught them to loathe the fight as an activity made for lesser men, not princes.

His father hadn’t been able to convey them the indelible imprint he had inherited from his own father. Had he been alive, his nephews would’ve probably grown in between brawls and forests; hunting, fighting, trained to kill and able to survive, no matter how dire their situation could’ve been. But they’d only had no one but their mothers. War had stolen the soul of the previous Lord, and their father had struggled for years to regain the supremacy over the Northern Region, where the then-Governor Kim, Minseok’s grandfather, had rebelled against Stormhold.

After the war, the one hundred and eleventh Lord had come back home to find two teenage sons who didn’t know him at all, trained in the arts by their mothers and the other palace women because all the men had left with him for the war, bored by palace life and wishing to go outside and live their lives without the burden of their blood. The damage was already done.

Military discipline is something that must instilled since childhood, and no matter how much could he ask Yifan and Jongdae to train, to learn to fight, for one day they would’ve needed those abilities, their hand were too hard to mould themselves around the hilt of a sword anymore.

That’s why Yifan knew very well that, trying to save Yixing, he was running right into the arms of a very possible death. He only had a sword that Lu Han had given him, and that neither him nor his cousin knew how to use, Lu Han having spent his younger years in the always peaceful Summer Estate. Han had joked that Yifan could always ask Minseok to teach him, seeing that at least he, like every son of the North, had been trained to use a weapon, but Minseok had been more than glacial towards the both of them, and he hadn’t dared. Not that he could’ve had the time then, seeing that Yixing was already impatient to leave. Had he already decided to abandon Yifan behind because he couldn’t stand his presence anymore? Yifan didn’t know, but the thought made a pang of pain radiate in his chest.

The forest was dark around him, but in a different, more mundane way than the one where he had met Yixing. That forest spoke a story of ancient creatures, power lying hidden beneath the centenary trees. This one was normal, a simple, dark mass of vegetation thick enough to bother him in his crazy run. There were foxes and deer, but the animals didn’t worry Yifan.

He heard the voices before seeing the lake, loud, angry shouts, resonating in the dark night. He slowed down, lowering his body to avoid being seen. He couldn’t see the faces, but he recognized one of the companies who had surpassed he and Yixing on the Main Road. Technically, the bad luck of being a soldier of fortune was still allowed in the reign. The former Lord had often thought it was time to abolish mercenaries’ companies, because in times of peace they ended up living off stealing and bribery. They had probably found Yixing in his unicorn form, and decided to sell him at the best price. Or that was what Yifan thought.

Crawling on the ground, trying to be as silent and inconspicuous as possible, he reached the clearing. Clouds had disappeared, and the combined light of Moon and stars was now his worst enemy. He couldn’t even raise his head to see why they were angrily shouting, in fear of being discovered.

A voice hit him like a stab. A soft, firm voice. He recognized the tone, a mixture of annoyed, condescending and mocking at the same time. He had been on the receiving end of that tone for days. It wasn’t possible, it wasn’t right. Yixing should’ve been a unicorn during the night, and yet he could hear his voice, clear and melodious, though a little shaken. He couldn’t make the words, but whatever he was saying, the soldiers weren’t happy.

The shouting worsened, and Yifan settled on a kneeling position to better look at the scene, confiding that everyone would be too engrossed in the discussion to care about patrols. There were less of them than he thought, just five men with rough, tired faces. Yixing was in the middle, bloody lip and calm expression. He looked like he always looked when Yifan was saying something stupid, calm and patient, barely annoyed for having to explain common sense to an adult behaving like a five years old. This time though the adults bore weapons, and they didn’t seem too happy to be treated like riotous children. One of them raised his hand to slap Yixing’s face and brought a dagger to his neck. Yifan’s head pulsed, he tried to get up but, before he could, the forest exploded around them.

“Are you alright?”

Yixing trembled, but made an effort to nod and get up from the ground. Yifan was even more shaken than he was, but the warmth of Yixing’s hands in his own calmed him.

“What the fuck happened?” asked in a shaky voice, ignoring Yixing’s exasperated hiss at his choice of word and motioning towards the chaos around them. The entire forest had quaked, trees moving and almost leaving their spots. They could still see the roots, now no more buried under the ground, and the branches striving unnaturally towards the lake. The waters had started to move too, enormous, scary waves threatening to fall over the group on the shore, though no wind was blowing. The soldier had escaped, shouting about spirits and demons.

Yixing snatched his hand from Yifan’s hold, like the touch burned him. “Can’t you get there on your own? It was you.”

“Me? You must be mistaken, I can assure you I never had any natural predisposition towards magic. The palace wizards tried many times to try my powers, and Jongdae’s, but looks like this time the magic jumped a generation, you know? It can happen.”

“No, it can’t,” was Yixing’s firm answer.

“And how would you know? You lived in a little, isolated village, what would you know about my magic?”

He didn’t realize he was shouting until Yixing started shouting too, his face stained by a red mixture of anger and what looked like shame. “I’m sorry if I always lived a poor, simple life in the middle of nowhere and I don’t know all the things His Majesty knows. Now excuse me, but I have to go. Don’t worry, I’m taking my poor uncultured unicorn knowledge away with me.”

Yifan bit his lip and stare horrified at Yixing’s face. He had never exploded like this, and Yifan had no idea what to say to calm him down, but he realized he had to act quickly, because Yixing was already walking away from him. Again.

He grabbed his hand, pulling when he felt resistance. Yixing pulled back, and they fell on the ground, a mess of grabbing hands and kicking legs, and maybe Yixing was crying, he didn’t know. Yifan he hoped he wasn’t crying too, but rejection stung, and realizing that it was his and his stupid mouth’s own fault this time, stung even more.

They stopped, harshly panting. He had managed to pin the other boy under him, but Yixing was still feebly struggling to free himself from Yifan’s grip.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, catching his captive’s attention as Yixing stopped trying to wriggle out of his hold. “I don’t know what I did to make you so angry, I mean,” he quickly corrected himself at Yixing’s accusative eyes, “I know why you’re angry now, because of what I said, and I’m really sorry for that, but I still don’t understand why you ran away from me before.”

He waited to see if it was still okay for him to continue.

“I thought we were friends, and we also had a deal, I don’t understand why you would leave me alone like that in the middle of the road. It wasn’t fair. No, no, don’t turn your head on me, I think I really deserve an explanation. I’m not letting you go until you give me one.”

Yixing sighed, “Is this really necessary? I had my reasons to do what I did, even if I waited too much to leave you. It’s too late by now, it’s gone.”

“What? What’s gone? It has something to do with you not being in your unicorn form now?”

“Yes,” answered Yixing reluctantly, “I lost my powers, and it’s all your fault. Now I don’t know if I’ll be able to complete my mission.”

“How could it be my fault? I never did anything.”

“I answered your question, let me go. Please,” he added, his stubborn face replaced by a pain grimace, “you’re hurting me.”

He helped him get up, again. “There’s something different about you, but I can’t pinpoint what…”

He wanted to touch Yixing’s face, so red he could already feel the warmth on his extended hand, but he didn’t dare. He had this distinct feeling Yixing would’ve slapped his hand.

“Listen, Yifan, I’m very sorry, but I can’t travel with you anymore. You already did too much damage, how am I supposed to save Taozi and bring him back to the sky if I can’t use my magic?”

He immediately regretted what he had said, but it was too late. Yifan had heard every word. “Wait, what? Why would you bring that kid back to the sky? I thought you were supposed to bring the star back to the…”

He gasped, and he probably looked like an idiot, standing in the middle of a devastated forest with his mouth hanging open, with a unicorn who wasn’t a unicorn anymore and the great revelation he was waiting for hitting him like a carriage on his forehead.

“That kid is the star!” he spurt out, pointing his finger against Yixing in an accusing manner. Yixing, who was still covering his mouth with his hands and looking terrified and guilty, nodded.

“You, YOU!” he didn’t know what to say, but now all the pieces matched. Jongdae had found the star before him, the star was the kid, Jongdae had kept them separated so that Yifan couldn’t understand the truth. He still didn’t know what the witch’s role was in all of this mess, but one thing was certain. “YOU LIED TO ME!”

“Oh, come on,” was Yixing’s exasperated answer, and now they were both shouting, again. “I never lied to you, I’m a unicorn, we can’t lie, you royal idiot!”

He couldn’t find the words to answer that, but there was no need since Yixing was going on. “The truth has always been under your nose, I wasn’t lying when I told you that my mission was to save Taozi and bring the star back. It’s not my fault you never realized that the two things were connected.”

He fell silent, still breathing harshly.

“Well, it wasn’t so immediate you know? How did you expect me to make that connection? And you still didn’t correct me when you realized that I was misunderstanding, isn’t that against the code of unicorns, or something?”

“No, it isn’t. I can’t be held responsible for your clear lacking of intuition.”

“This is wonderful,” he said, “was the witch a deceit too? Was everything a plot between you and my brother so that he could excuse himself from his duties and live his life peacefully with his new boytoy? Is everyone laughing at me for trying to save his life?”

He hated how his own voice sounded so childish. No crying, no crying. I can’t give them the satisfaction. “You’re wrong. You saw her, she tried to kill us.”

He sniffed, ignoring Yixing’s words as he struggled to think clearly, but it was so difficult.
Yixing hugged him, unsure and weak, but it felt so good and he cried on his shoulder, feeling younger than his twenty springs.

“Hush, you’re such a big child. I’ll tell you everything, just stop crying. The forest has eyes and ears. I don’t want your mother to come for my head because I made her precious child cry.”