It’s Written In The Sky (Your Destiny And Mine); fanxing (3/4)

[aprilclash]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4


Chapter XXIII - Where everything is different, but still the same

“I can’t believe it. Are you telling me we’re in this mess because of a lovesick teenager?”

“Well, Taozi is not a teenager, he’s a couple of thousands years old.”

“He’s a lovesick teenager. In love with my brother.”

“From what I saw Jongdae wasn’t too sad to have Zitao draped all over him, you know.”

“Please shut up, I’m processing the news.”

Yixing out a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“And he fell from the sky not because the damn topaz we’re all supposed to find hit him and brought him down with him, but…”

“Well, he just threw himself down, I think? His brother wasn’t too happy when he found out.”

“His brother being the Moon, right?”

“Exactly, and he sent me here to bring him back before something bad happens.”

This last part wasn’t too clear to Yifan, but he had another doubt. “But if Zitao doesn’t have the pendant with the topaz we’re supposed to find to decide who’ll be the next Lord, who has it?”

“I have no idea, Yifan. But you must find it. The entire reign…”

“… will fall in disgrace without a Lord, trust me, I know the story. But Jongdae’s life is more important for now, I suppose.”

In the little light of the Moon, it was difficult to decipher Yixing’s face, but Yifan was sure that the other boy wasn’t telling him everything. “Ok, what else? You’re hiding something from me.”

Yixing didn’t answer.

“Like, why did you lost your holy powers, or why should it be my fault.” He looked at the desolation around them. “Or how I managed to do all of this without magic.”

“But I already said you have magic! A lot of it, and how could you not? You’re heir of Stormhold, after all. Just because your ignorant mages couldn’t find anything, it doesn’t mean your family legacy is not there. That’s why I knew who you where, back when we first met. I felt in you the same power I had felt in your brother, the day he found Zitao. I was there too, I should’ve avoided that fateful encounter, but I was too late and Jongdae fell in love with Zitao and they ran away together. And then I met you, and the rest is history.”

Yifan still didn’t understand how he could’ve been able to animate the entire forest.

“It probably has something to do with your mother’s powers, isn’t she a fairy of the forest? The Stormhold power is strong in you, but she left a strong affinity with the woods, and an intense emotion managed to free your power.”
He blushed, knowing too well that the intense emotion had been concern for Yixing’s safety. And anger. The slap to his face had made him explode.

“Wow, I never even suspected.”

“If I still had my powers, maybe I could’ve told you more, but…”

He felt Yixing’s voice break, and then the other boy turned his face to hide the tears crowding his eyes, and sniffed. Yifan pulled him towards his shoulder, hoping he would get the hint. Yixing did, and stifled a sob in Yifan’s sleeve. “I’m sorry, it’s just, I was so used to have the protection of my magic and now that it’s gone,” he sniffed again, “everything feels so strong, it’s just too much.”

He tried to calm himself, shivering against Yifan. The night was warm enough, but he was cold.
Understanding fell over Yifan. Yixing didn’t looked different, always the same white skin and beautiful eyes, the same tilt of his handsome face, now scrunched up in an annoyed frown, when he explained things to Yifan. If he had smiled the dimple would’ve been the same that made Yifan’s heart flutter. He was the same, but at the same time, he wasn’t.

It was like that thin, but incredibly tough layer of self-restraint that seemed to permeate his every action, smothering blinding smiles into cold, polite ones, freezing the red on his cheek before it could blush, had disappeared. Gone was the high wall that Yifan had to climb every time he wanted to see a glimpse of Yixing. Before, the other boy had always been in control of himself and of his own emotions, and the few slip of his character were quickly hidden under his calm composure as soon as they surfaced. But now it was different. He realized that, whatever magic Yixing had lost, while fading away had brought with it also the tight hold on the boy’s emotions, leaving behind a trembling, scared boy clinging to his arm.

Yifan would’ve never forgotten the sight of the Walls of Stormhold, drown in the light of the rising sun that fateful morning. Yixing clung to him, hands grasping hands as light fell on everything in sight.

“It’s the same sunset I’ve always seen, but it’s like I’m seeing it for the first time,” he said, voice quaking with emotion as reds, pink and tiny flashes of violet painted dawn in front of their eyes.
When he’d been calm enough he had told Yifan that it was normal, for his kind, to lose their abilities.

“There’s a moment in our lives when we have to leave that ability behind in order to gain something else. I knew this, but I would’ve never thought that my moment could come so soon.”

“Your friend, Kyunghee, did she leave the village because she had lost her powers?”

Yixing slowly denied, still charmed by the beauty of the sky. “No, she left because she wanted to lose them. She,” he hesitated stealing a look at Yifan’s face and hiding his face under his bangs when their eyes met, “she was looking for something. She would’ve gladly sacrificed her Gift in order to find what she was looking for.”

“And what was that?” asked Yifan, stepping down on Yixing’s personal space and making him cringe.

The boy ran away with a scream. “Please stop doing that,” he pleaded, “I may have been able to stand your rude antics because of the protection of my unicorn magic before, but now I have nothing, and you’re very handsome. It’s strange for me if you stand so clos-”

Yifan closed the space between them, again. It was strange for him, too. In the short time they had spent together, Yixing had reacted to his, he had to admit, quite awkward advances with coldness, snarky remarks and the occasional blushing, faint enough not to give him too many hopes. Discovering that Yixing’s supposed immunity to Yifan’s presence had been the effect of magic was thrilling, a new world of possibilities opening in front of his eyes. There was a boundary, he could see it, clear as the light of the sun, but he was more interested in going over it.

He wanted to know how this Yixing would’ve reacted to his stupid jokes, if he was able to pick his hints, how far could Yifan go before his imposing presence on Yixing’s personal space started to make him feel uncomfortable.

“Yifan, could you please?”

“Does this bother you?” he asked, lowering his head to talk into Yixing’s ears as his hand rested on the white neck, the hair on Yixing’s nape tickling his fingers. He was rewarded with a full body shiver.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he continued, the hand falling from Yixing’s neck to his arm, now circling his back and keeping him close to Yifan, “you were alright with this level of closeness before, right?”

Yixing wiggled out of his hold and put his hands between them, as if he wanted to keep their bodies apart. It wasn’t a very good move, because his hands landed on Yifan’s chest and they both stared at each other speechlessly before he jumped out of Yifan’s reach and sat on the ground, hugging his knees and trying to hide his somewhat bursting face.

“I’m not alright with it now, do you understand? It was alright before, but not now. Please Yifan, don’t force me to say why.”

He felt triumphant. For the first time since he had known the boy, and after countless attempts to woo him, he had finally managed to shake Yixing, finally revealing the part of his soul that attracted him the most. The bundle of tangled, chaotic feelings, carefully hidden, but so similar to Yifan’s own. He counted this as a personal victory.

“You already said it, though. You said I’m very handsome.”

He offered his hand to Yixing, but the boy slapped it away. “Yes, you are. And you’re also very cruel. You behave like this is a game, but for me it’s not. I lost my powers, it’s your fault and the best thing you can think of is mocking me for it.”

“You haven’t say why it should be my fault, though.”

Yixing threw him a tuft of ears of wheat. “Not telling.”

The annoying things must’ve stuck to his hair, because Yixing beamed at him and ran away snickering. Yifan couldn’t resist such an obvious challenge and he sprinted after him. They left the Main Road and headed towards the golden fields, lost in their game of tag.

The wind blew gently over them, cheering for the chase, until Yifan finally grabbed Yixing by his hip and they fell, rolling and laughing until Yixing was in top of him and they were both breathless and awestruck. Yixing’s cheek were flushed, that laugh always trapped in his eyes was now flowing freely out of his throat. His hands on Yifan’s shoulder were warm, and Yifan forgot everything else, and thought that if Yixing would’ve lowered his head just a little more, just a little more… Yifan was going to kiss him. Yixing sensed it too, because the laugh froze, and he stared down at him like a deer in headlight, eyes going wide and captivated.

They waited a heartbeat too much, and the calls of the chirping of a little bird unlocked time, ending that endless moment. Yixing looked at the road, whispering a low, “We should leave, we have a long way to go.”

They got up, quickly plucking the grass out of their hair and clothes. Yixing had a butterfly on his neck, but a more accurate look revealed a baby fairy in her red dress and translucent wings. She left the boy a kiss on the cheek and flew away, leaving behind her the echo of her tiny laugh.

“I could speak her language, when I had my powers,” said Yixing, looking melancholic again. “Sometimes lost fairies wandered to my village, and they taught me, but I can’t speak it anymore.”
He threw a pointed look at Yifan, “Race to the road?”

He was running before finishing the question, and Yifan went after him agaim. He still had a lot of unsolved questions. About Yixing’s past, his powers, the reason he had lost them. He didn’t want to tell Yifan, said it was something personal, but if it was about him, Yifan wanted to know.
Could it be related to what Kim Minseok told him at the Winter estate? Why did he leave me at the time?

He wanted to ask so badly, but Yixing didn’t seem ready for this. And Yifan didn’t want to make him sad, or nervous. He preferred him like this, much more nervous in his presence than before, but at the same time relaxed enough that he could feel safe to show Yifan is embarrassed face, his nervous face, his most vulnerable and personal faces.

On the morning of their fourth day of journey, Yixing and Yifan started to walk along the Main Road, together again.

Part IV - It’s Written In The Sky
Chapter XXIV - Where a boy dreams of a Wall

If a traveller were to follow the path that starting from the Great Walls of Stormhold wounds itself across the High Crags to die on the shores of the Great Sea, he would’ve stumbled at about midway in a large square, that was once cleared of trees and grass, but now laid idle in a state of abandonment and decay. Nature had taken roots, and where once were stands, selling eyes for the old, whistles, hums and coral anthems, coats of night and swords of fortune, now there was only fog, and grim tufts of grass. Not even the echo of the shouts of the vendors and the tinkle and jingle of the countless wonders for sale resounded in what once was the biggest and more renowned market fair of both Faerie and the Other Place.

At the end of the square, hidden by a thick and lush curtain of violet ivy, stood an old wall. People of Faerie used to call it the Little Wall, to avoid confusion with the Great Walls of the capital, but the few elders who remembered a time when people from the Other Side used to come to Faerie for the market, knew that its name was, in the beginning, simply The Wall. It was a relic from an ancient time, a passage to another world. It’d been long forgotten ever since Other People had moved on with their lives, choosing to banish Faerie in the world of legends, forgetting the little granite town at one night’s drive from London until it became only a village, a little ghost city with a past of fairy tales.

Yifan knew countless legends about the Wall. The long and twisted thread that was the history of his family had countless times mingled with the city of Wall and the inhabitants of the Other Side. Those stories had been carved, together with the endless genealogy of the rulers of Faerie, into the hallways of the Old Palace, now only a maze of hollow rooms buried underground and visited only by the Lord. When he was little he used to sneak around and go to play in the darkness, looking with little, wondering eyes at the old tales. His favourite was the one of his ancestors Tristran, and his wife Yvaine, who had fallen from the sky. So many time has passed, and Yifan didn’t remember the details anymore, but after so many years he woke up that night on the High Crags with a shout and the hazy, glimmering memory of that story drifting under his eyelid.

The night was unforgivingly cold. Left the Northern Lands, he hoped that the warm, welcoming climate who blessed the Capital would’ve granted them better nights, but the compass had led them on the mountains.

Yixing, curled up on his side under a cover, had rolled up towards him during the night, and was still sleeping against Yifan’s body. In his sudden awakening, Yifan had moved the cover, leaving their bodies exposed to the cold night wind. Yixing hummed, hiding his face in Yifan’s chest and hugging him closely to regain his warmth.

The last two days had been less fun that he thought. Now that he had lost his Gift, Yixing had become overly sensible, and Yifan had to be careful around him. He was used to tease him for hours in order to get a little reaction out of him, but now the smallest joke made him incredibly embarrassed. He had to carefully measure his touches, because Yixing wasn’t really able to deal with intimate physical contact now that he was in a relatively new condition of vulnerability to feelings. He also had a tendency to lose himself in details. He could pass hours just looking at flowers and butterflies, or staring at a dragon-shaped cloud, and many times Yifan had been forced to frag him away from the sparkling flowing of a small river.

“We unicorns have a strong connection to the nature,” he had confessed to help Yifan understand. “It means that we always feel like we’re part of something bigger. We weren’t originally like this, but now we have a human body, and we can feel human emotions. It’s really difficult to host two natures so different and conflicting inside the same being. Human emotions are contaminated, you know? There’s greed, anger, and even the purest ones, like love, sometimes have other implications.”

He had blushed profusely while saying it, but Yifan hadn’t teased him for this display of weakness. He was more interested in what Yixing was trying to explain. “Your emotions made it difficult to use your powers?”

“Yes, that’s right. And that’s why, as long as we have our Gift, we’re protected by strong emotions. It’s the only way, we have to be purer than anything. Only if we can control the intensity of our feelings we can use our power.”

“You never struck me as pure when we first met. You were more snarky?”

Yixing snorted. “That’s just the way I am. The Gift can screen us from feeling too much, but it can’t do much for our natural predispositions. You thought that all unicorns were shy and virginal, right? Well, you were wrong mister Prince.”

Yifan pinched his hip and brought him closer, causing a small outburst and the usual blush. “Maybe your holy magic wasn’t doing its job very well, since you seem much more shy and virginal now that you’ve lost it than before. Though I’d prefer you don’t lose yourself in daydreaming every time you see an occasional lizard or dragonfly.”

“It’s not my fault,” screeched Yixing, struggling against Yifan’s hand and massaging his hurt side, wisely choosing to ignore the comment on his virginity, “it’s just that I was used to feel everything like it was a part of me, and it was wonderful. But now, I feel small and alone, I have this big mess inside my head and lot of emotions that I’ve never felt and I can’t pinpoint, and things that before I took for granted now appear to me like it’s the first time. I feel overwhelmed.”

“And why did you lost your power?”

Yixing opened his mouth to explain, but the words died in his throat as he realized the trap, and he frowned at Yifan.

“Not telling!” he said, sticking out his pink tongue in a mocking way and missing the way Yifan licked his lick at the sight.

He had tried to pry the information out of him countless times, but after the first brief slips, Yixing had become too good at avoiding his question. Yifan sighed, deciding to get up and take a walk around their improvised camp to clear his mind. He tenderly covered Yixing again, smiling at the way the other boy whined in his sleep at the loss of Yifan’s warmth. He would’ve stayed with him, but he really needed to think.

He did understand why such memory would come to haunt him in this particular moment. He didn’t remember all the details, but the story was about a girl, a star, fallen from the sky, and there was a witch, and a unicorn. He shivered. He was pretty sure that the unicorn died in the story.

The resemblance with his own reality was striking, so it wasn’t strange that being on the Crags, near to the place where the legend said The Wall was, he had dreamed of that old fairy tale. But was it really a coincidence? Why did he have this ominous feeling in his chest, like he was missing something? Words and images, scattered theories, endless thoughts mixed up in his head, but he couldn’t grasp the link between them. He needed to get it, and soon, if he wanted to save everyone.

“Oh, yeah, I remember that particular story. It’s funny that you mentioned it, because it’s very well known in my village. You know, according to the legend, we first became human as a reward, for when a unicorn saved a star. Wait,” he frowned, “didn’t I already told you?”

“Not in details. Do you remember the whole story? It’s been too long for me…”

“Let’s see, there was a witch, two brothers looking for a star, a unicorn and…”

Yixing’s eyes suddenly widened, as he looked at Yifan with an astonished expression. “Oh dear. It’s the same as… Oh my.”

“Yes, exactly,” said Yifan triumphantly, “that’s my point! It’s like the story is repeating itself!”

“Does it mean I have to fear for my life?”

“Don’t worry,” answered Yifan, trying to sound reassuring even if he was basically harmless, “I’ll protect you, no matter what.”

“Well, that sounds very, uhmm, comforting.”

“Hey, who saved your life from those soldiers?”

“Hey, who saved you from dying in the woods?”

“Hey, who - touch me again and this time I’ll leave you here, for good.”

“That didn’t work out so well last time”

“Would you please shut up? I swear, you’re impossible!”

Chapter XXV - Where things can always get worse

The light was fading again, it had been six days since they had started to look for Jongdae and Zitao. They had lost a day, at least, when Yixing had thought that leaving Yifan was such a great idea, and Yifan still wasn’t tired of pointing it out, but the other boys had a good two days advantage, so it wasn’t strange that they hadn’t found them yet.

“The compass is behaving really strangely, I think they may be nearer than we think.”

He glanced at Yixing’s tired face, and then at the rapidly darkening road. “Still, I don’t think we can look for them when it’s dark.”

“I can walk-”

“We’re both too tired,” was his answer, “we have walked all day. Even if we tried, in these conditions we’ll probably fall off some cliff.”

The quality of their lives had decreased, since Yixing wasn’t able to find springs and edible fruits any more with his instinct. They were so close to finish water, and Yifan was also worried about the food.

Yixing’s voice called for him form the darkness, distracting Yifan from his concerns. “Yifan, come here!”

Urgency laces his words, and Yifan wasted no time in taking the sword and running towards his companion. Yixing was unharmed, but he quickly pointed to something in the darkness as soon as he saw Yifan. They had decided to camp on a hill on the side of the road, because Yifan wanted to keep it under control. Yixing’s finger was pointing right under them, where the road was supposed to be. He squinted, finally making out two human shapes, wearily limping and whispering franticly between them, the shorter one supporting the taller. They were nervous, looking around themselves like they were waiting for something to jump from the woods now that they were weak and hurt.
Yifan’s eyes focused on the smaller of the two, and a huge wave of relief washed over him as he shouted his brother’s name.

Yifan had thought that he and Yixing looked awful, but he still hadn’t see Jongdae and Zitao’s condition. They looked worn out, completely devastated. Zitao was hurt, a large, dreadful gash across his side. The blood around it was black, and Yixing almost paled when he saw it, immediately running to the boy’s side and muttering something about bandages and medical herbs.

“You can’t go now, it’s too dark,” warned Yifan, and Yixing bit his lip, hanging his head dejectedly.

“Even if it wasn’t,” he explained, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to recognize the right plants. My Gift is gone, and now that Zitao really needs me I’m useless.”

Zitao moaned, struggling to get up and falling weakly. “You didn’t die… I’m so happy to see you alive, I’m sorry, I really am…”

Yixing hugged him, whispering calm words of comfort into Zitao’s ear.

Yifan felt awkward, like the scene was too intimate for him, and forced his gaze onto Jongdae, instead.

His brother looked a mess. His face was dirty, his hair matted. He had a strange light in his blown pupils, wild and dangerous, and his body was tense, like he was expecting an assault any moment soon and he was ready counterattack. Yifan could see his hands trembling around the hilt of a very familiar sword.

“Father’s sword,” he exclaimed, leaning over Jongdae to touch it. His brother snarled, assuming a defensive pose. The silence fell on the group, Zitao and Yixing staring at the two brothers, one ready to bounce and the other almost petrified.

In the end Jongdae was the first to move, eyes shifting to an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry, Yifan, really, I didn’t want…” he struggled to find the right words, “she’s tried a lot of trick on us, we’ve been running from her since our departure.”

“I understand.” He tried to talk slowly, to put Jongdae at ease. His brother looked too much like a cornered animal. “Why didn’t you go to Stormhold? I don’t think she can pass the Walls, no matter how powerful she is.”

“We wanted to,” exhaled Zitao, “but she cut through the fields, she was faster than us because we had to hide. She was waiting for us at Lord’s Cross, aishhh-”

Yixing slapped him until he was back to a lying position. “Don’t move, stupid!”

The boy tried to move again, but this time Yixing hit harder, and near the wound, and Jongdae stepped in to help him. “Don’t be a child and stay down, Zitao.”

He received a grumpy mumble in response, but at least Zitao didn’t try to get up again.

“We fought against her, and we managed to escape with the sword. But Zitao, she…”

He looked at where Yixing had patiently bandaged the injury, and Yixing confirmed. “It’s poisoned. I don’t know what kind of magic she used, but it’s not a normal wound.”

“Ok,” said Yifan, “ok. I got this. We have to come back, to Stormhold. Maybe mom will know what to do. You and I have a mission, Jongdae, have you forgotten? One of us must become Lord, and Zitao has to go home since he has someone who’s very worried about him.”

“We can’t. Please Yifan, don’t be angry with me. There’s something I must say to you.”

“I don’t want to hear it! Maybe you two don’t realize how big of a mess you created with your little adventure, but the reign is going to meet his ruin if one of us doesn’t find that pendant and…”

“SHE HAS IT!”

A heavy silence fell on the camp, broken only by Zitao’s pained groans.

“She has the topaz,” continued Jongdae now that he had everyone’s undivided attention, “and she said she’ll give it to us for Taozi.”

Yifan didn’t dare to breathe, Yixing was covering his shocked expression with blood stained fingers. Tears started to pool in Jongdae’s eyes. “She wants to kill him, like the witch of those stories you told me when we were kids. Yvaine and…”

“Tristran,” finished Yifan for him. Then he added, like an afterthought, “Zitao is a star.”

“Yeah, I know it’s crazy but, hey,” Jongdae’s eyes went as wide as saucers, “how did you know?”

“Xing there,” he said, gesturing to a hesitantly waving Yixing, “he’s the unicorn.”

Jongdae’s eyes went wide. “Is he? I mean, he doesn’t seem a unicorn to me…”

“Long story.”

“Well, I’m happy you survived?” exhaled a very stunned Jongdae to a still very-busy-with-Zitao’s-injury Yixing. He received a shrug in response.

“We have more important things to discuss, Jongdae. You know it. That necklace is the symbol of our power. Without it, we can’t do anything. And if one of us doesn’t become the next Lord…”

Jongdae stilled, his lips set in a firm line. “I can’t let her just kill Zitao.”

Yixing motioned for them to be silent, and they held their breath until a carriage crossed the road, very close to their hiding. Yifan was relieved they had decided not to light up a fire.

“It’s the witch, she’s still looking for us,” said Jongdae.

Yifan opened his mouth, ready to start a fight with his little, naïve brother, who had put all of them in a terrible danger, just because of his stupid crush. He didn’t know who was the worse, if Zitao, who had thought well to crash from the sky and make himself the target of a psychotic witch who wanted his heart, or Jongdae, who should’ve let the boy alone and just focused on his quest.

He was interrupted by Yixing’s firm voice. “The legend, do you remember it? How did it end? It’s important, it could be the key to save Zitao’s life.”

They both shook their heads, dejected. Yifan used to know that story like the palm of his hands, but time has washed away the details. Jongdae had never been really interested, only knowing the story from Yifan’s retelling. If only they’ve had the time to go to Stormhold, they could’ve read the old chronicles, but the witch was patrolling the streets, using the last remains of her power to hunt them. And Zitao was slowly dying.

Yifan looked at his brother, shaken, tired, hurt. And yet so strong. He was willing to risk everything to save this boy, and no matter how much he loathed it, he had to admit that if it was worth for Jongdae, it was also worth for him.

“Are you in love with him?” he asked, all of a sudden.

Jongdae answered with a blank stare, like he couldn’t believe the words that had just left Yifan’s mouth. He decided to ask it again. “Is he in love with you, at least?”

Jongdae spluttered, well aware of the question this time, his skin taking an impossible shade of red as he started to ramble nervously, “It’s not, I mean, we haven’t really talked about it, but…”

“Cut it down ChenChen,” blurt out Yifan, resorting to one of our childhood nicknames, “did you two kiss or not?”

Zitao moaned, “Please, I am still too lucid for this, a sex talk from my brother would’ve been less embarrassing. Can’t you sedate me, Yixing?”

“Shut up, the witch will be your last problem if I find out that you’ve defiled my little brother.”

Jongdae cried out in despair. “Oh gods, Yifan! Can you stop? When could we’ve had the time to talk about it, or even kiss? We’re on the verge of a mortal danger and you’re acting like my mother and your mother put together.”

He hid his face, trying to cover the blush. “I want to die. Every chance I had to make this right has gone, thanks for making things so awkward,” he spit out, “FanFan. Now, even if we make it out of this alive, the memory of this conversation will haunt our lives forever.”

“You will have all the time in the world to feel embarrassed, but now we need to find a solution.”

Yifan thought of his dream, the hazy memory of an ancient Wall calling him like a siren. A few days before, he would’ve questioned the existence of such a thing, already lost in the maze of forgotten legends, living only in carved stories on the walls of a buried palace, but he had been living in a legend himself. Maybe this quest hadn’t made a man out of him, but it surely have turned him into a believer. It was crazy, but they had to try.

He cleared his voice, so than anyone could hear him over the whistle of the wind. “I have a plan.”

Chapter XXVI - What the stars don’t know

Jongdae and Zitao had fallen asleep, huddled against each other to share their warmth. Yixing sat on the ground, next to Yifan. His eyes fluttered shut as he leaned on Yifan’s shoulder, so close that Yifan could feel his puffs of breathe against the fabric of his shirt. He wanted to tell him to rest, but he didn’t dare to break the silence around them, heavy and filled with unspoken thoughts.

“Will it work?”

Ah, he was expecting the question. The ultimate question. They had no other plan, so it didn’t even matter what he thought. They couldn’t leave the topaz in the hands of a witch. The last time that the jewel had fallen into enemy hands, they had almost lost a war. And now armed troops dared to cross the streets, and the whispers filled the lives of little village, while the heirs of Stormhold were missing. People were nervous. His father’s words were clear in his mind. “There must be a Lord in our lands,” he had said, or everything our family’s done in Faerie will be lost, recited Yifan in his head. Chaos, wars, death. Everything was on their shoulder. Two lost boys, a dying star, and Yixing, who was still waiting for his answer, not even daring to look at Yifan’s eyes. Maybe he was scared to read the lie that his mouth couldn’t tell.

Yifan didn’t know, and he opted for a tense silence.

“If it doesn’t work,” continued Yixing, “what will happen?”

He turned to hug Yixing, still struggling with an answer. Zitao dies, he thought, we die. Everything is lost. His hands lingered on Yixing’s face, turning it upwards. He wanted Yixing to look at him.

“I have a dream,” he confessed. “Since when I was a child, I’ve always had a dream. I want a house, in a minor city. On the sea.” He swallowed, trying to get rid of the knot in his throat. He had never shared these details with anyone, not even Jongdae, who dreamed of adventures and impossible love and he’d found all of it, plus mortal danger and probable catastrophe. Yifan was different. “I want to live there, to have the sea waking me up every morning. And I want to draw.”
Yixing laughed and Yifan tensed, expecting to be mocked. But it was just Yixing, and his laugh was a soft, knowing one. “This is so you,” he said, hands running on Yifan’s face, mimicking Yifan’s own, “the prince who doesn’t want to be a prince.”

“I don’t know if my plan will work. I don’t even know if we’ll survive. But,” Yifan could count Yixing’s lashes, but now the furious palpitations of his own heart, “if we do, I want to do it. I’ll live in a house near the sea, I’ll paint and I’ll be happy.”

It wasn’t true, they both know it. One of them, Yifan or Jongdae, had to become Lord. One of them had to lose love and dedicate his life to the cold stone of Stormhold. But Yifan knew what they were risking. Tomorrow they could be dead, tomorrow any one of them was going to walk on the edge of a precipice, and if he had to bet his life, his future, his dreams, he wanted to do it for a better future.

It was egoist, what he wanted to do. The Curse is cruel in his fatality, had said his father. No matter if you find it, and you probably will, you’ll never get to live together with them, and grow your children together. Such is the destiny of our kin. He knew, deep inside, that not only they were playing with Faerie’s future, but also that one of them would lose his love forever. What if Yixing dies tomorrow? He wanted to send him away, to save him, but what if sending away means losing him forever?

“I want you to go away, Yixing. You did what you could, but now you’re defenceless, and tomorrow it’ll be to dangerous. I can’t let you come with us. If something happens to you, I…”

The touch of Yixing’s lips on his knuckles startled him. The other boy was laughing, but his eyes were full of tears. “You know,” he said, to a bewildered Yifan, “the reason I lost my Gift was you. I tried to resist, I tried to keep you away any way I could. But you were so insistent, so stubborn, so stupid and so endearing. Minseok tried to warn me against you, but it was too late, I was already falling too hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so much that I couldn’t use my powers anymore.”

Yifan felt panic thundering in his chest, as Yixing held his hand and put it on his heart. “You took my life away from me, and now you’re responsible. You can’t send me away now that I fell in love with you.”

“Don’t say it! You don’t understand, Yixing, the Curse-”

“I don’t care about the Curse. I knew about it from the first moment. Why do you think I was sent after Zitao by his brother? He didn’t want him and Jongdae to fall in love, he feared for Zitao’s destiny because of the Curse.”

“If you knew it, why did you fall in love with me? Why are you still here? If you stay, something terrible will happen to you tomorrow.”

“Don’t ask me this, Yifan, please. If I go now, I’ll never be able to see you again. The Curse will accomplish itself anyway, but at least we’ll be together until the end.”

Yifan shook his head, like a riotous child. Yixing forced him to look and listen.

“I fought against my feelings, I fought against you. You, you were so stupid, always prying and trying to rile me up, always flirting and… You know, there was nothing I could do to avoid it, because it’s not about me. It’s about, you. You’re the Cursed one, all of this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t fallen in love with me in the first place.”

There was no real sting in his word, and even if Yifan’s instinct told him to deny everything, they both knew it was useless. He was in love with Yixing. Nothing, all the fear, the ominous consequences of his feelings, the Curse, the suffocating danger they would’ve to face as soon as the sun rose, nothing could hit him as the devastating happiness he felt when he realized it. He was in love with Yixing, and Yixing was in love with him.

“I’m not sorry,” he said, and really, he wasn’t, “I probably fell in you from the first moment without even realizing, and there was nothing I could’ve done to avoid it.”

Yixing sighed. “I knew it. But now we have to take responsibility.”

He was still holding Yifan’s hand against his heart, steady, firm against his fingers. “We both made the other fall for us, so now we’re bonded and we have to take care of each other. Right?”

Yifan nodded. “Right.”

“So don’t try to send me away again, deal? You can’t even light a fire on your own, let alone fight against a witch. I have to be there to protect you from yourself.”

Yifan was scared. He still wanted Yixing away from him, safe. He was ready to sacrifice his happiness, he was ready to put an end to his love if that meant that Yixing would’ve been able to survive, but having Yixing so close to him was his strength. He was scared, but if he had to fight to protect the soft heartbeat under his hands, he could muster up courage and strength from nowhere. The heavy, suffocating poison clogging his lungs at the mere thought of tomorrow melt itself in a warm feeling of relief, knowing that he wouldn’t have to be alone.

“Can I kiss you now?”

Kissing Yixing in reality was hard, a clash of teeth and mouth and hands that didn’t know where to go so they just stood there, awkwardly, barely touching but so willing to grasp. Yixing was real, and panting, heavy on Yifan’s chest and insistent at the hem of his lips. Everything was rough, and Yifan could feel the hard ground piercing his skin, the roughness of Yixing’s uncut nails tearing at his neck, and every whisper they shared was burning, too hot for the cold of the night.

He couldn’t get tired of kissing Yixing, but as they panted, raggedly trying to regain their breaths between one kiss and the other, they looked at the stars. Yixing taught him the names of the constellation in his own language, pointing towards them with his slender fingers, teaching Yifan their true names.

He trapped Yixing’s hand in his own, trying to look at the line of love, but Yixing playfully snapped it away and to hide his smile behind it. He didn’t need to show his palms to strangers in order to know his future, not anymore. His answer was in the crazy rhythm of Yifan’s heart, beating like a drum when Yixing’s mouth traced its contours through the fabric. The Yixing trapped in his arms was in love with Yifan, a young, foolish first love that blew away everything else from his mind, and between airy laughs and soft kisses under the Moon, Yifan had no choice but to love him back.

When they finally decided to sleep, drunk on kisses and lulled to security by fond looks filled with endearment and mute promises, dawn was just a couple of hours away. They had snuck together with Jongdae and Zitao, like puppies trying to defend themselves against the numbness of cold.

When he sensed that Yixing was sleeping curled in his arms, Yifan opened his eyes and looked at the stars. They seemed so close, glowing gently in the dark with a bit of melancholy, like they already know what was going to happen, like their cold, brilliant hearts were moved by the warm scene taking place under them. First love, first kiss, first time sharing the same breath and the same heartbeat. The last night before a battle. He wondered if the stars were going to cry if something bad happened to them.

Yifan thought of Zitao, whom had chosen to fall and taste a brief sip of euphoria and love, instead of living a long life of contemplation and eternity. He thought of himself and Jongdae, free from the crystallized life of the palace, lost in a whirlwind of sensations before they all failed, or before they won and one of them was to be back in his golden prison of velvet and responsibilities. He thought of Yixing, whose feelings had been so strong they had broken ancient spells, just to bring him in his arms again.

From their hard and cold thrones in the sky, the stars could see everything, and maybe to them the great obstacles, the dire dangers of little human boys probably appeared just like that, little. For beings who lived long, lonely lives outside of time, the life of a human was probably a moment lost, slipped through their luminous fingers before they could even begin to understand its deepness. But Yifan didn’t feel insignificant. On the contrary, he pitied the stars. His short life burned, filled with so many feelings they would never be able to know. They would never be able to suffer the sweet pain of having his chest so filled with emotions that even breathing was difficult. He wouldn’t have exchanged an eternity of light for an only sparks reflected into Yixing’s eyes as he looked him, unsure and scared and so happy to be with him that anything else didn’t matter.

Yixing scooted close, and Yifan chose to chase away the nervousness creeping inside his heart, hiding against Yixing’s hair and falling asleep.

Chapter XXVII - The Star Who Fell (On The Wrong Side)

The witch was old. Yifan had last seen her a week before, but in a couple of days her face had lost the fresh colour of youth, wilting and withering until it only resembled an old parchment. She kept her height though, and she showed no trace of weakness in her limbs as he towered over them, eyes hard like steel and clawed hands menacingly holding the dagger.

They had waited her there for hours, camping in front of the ruins of a decrepit looking wall covered in violet ivy, but only when the sun had started to fall behind the mountains to die, unseen by their eyes, in the sea, she had showed themselves, emerging from the woods covered in rags and hunger.

Yifan felt his confidence waver. His brilliant plan seemed to crumble in itself under the cold scrutiny of this centenary lady and her knowing, old eyes. She smiled mockingly at his worried face.

“Looks like you all came,” he greeted them. Then she turned her attention towards Yixing, “and you, didn’t I stab you to death? I’m surprised you can still walk around.”

Yixing tensed, but didn’t answer.

“I should’ve killed you before, a dead unicorn is far more useful than a living boy. Look at you, only a few days and you’re already fallen to the point that there’s not even an ounce of magic in you. So cheap.”

Yifan growled, but Yixing’s hand on his chest kept him still. They had to lure her near the hole in the Wall for the plan to work.

She advance towards them, swinging the necklace back and forth through her wrinkled fingers, holding their destinies in her hands. “Walk away, you’ll have what you need when I’m done with the star.”

Yifan opened his mouth to answer, but Jongdae was already moving to shield a weak Zitao from the witch’s stare, weaving the heavy sword and pointing it against her.

Yifan mentally cursed, because if Jongdae forgot about the plan to blindly attack her they were lost.
“Give us the topaz, first,” he asked, trying to sound sure of himself, while in reality he felt like a little kid playing with powers far greater than him.

She laughed, hollow and eerie.

“Do you think I’m stupid, young men? How many years do you think I’ve walked these lands? When this Wall hadn’t even been built I was already old, and now you want to throw me on the Other Side?”

She laughed again, and the raucous, rough sound made all of them shiver. They prepared themselves to the fight. “You had your chance. You could have saved yourself and Faerie, but you decided to bring tragedy and death. You will all die here.”

She hadn’t finished to raise her dagger that Jongdae was already charging against her, but she tossed him away like he was a rag doll. She was incredibly strong. Her youth had vanished, sacrificed to obtain more power to deal with them. The decay of her beauty was a blast of power, ready to burst from her hands to take their lives. She turned over him, as Jongdae fell soundlessly on the ground.

Yifan had a sword, and he prepared himself to use it. The witch was already launched towards him when he realized that the sword couldn’t help him if she managed to get too close. He tried to keep her at bay, but she was fast and lethal. He felt a tearing pain in his arm, and then his head exploded. He fell, tasting dirt and his own blood. The entire world pulsated and throbbed, and when he tried to get up, he could only see red. She let him fall, not even bothering to finish him.

His heart exploded when he felt Yixing’s scream. He was the only one left between the witch and Zitao’s heart. The sting of failure was strong, and only now Yifan could understand just how unrealistic their plan had been. She was too powerful, on another level. How could they, two untrained kids, a dying star and a peaceful boy who has lost all of his magic, have thought to win against one of the oldest creatures of the world? She’d been here at the start of time, eternal and hungry, and they could do nothing to stop her.

“Step aside or die with him.”

Yifan was up before he could even think, instinct kicking in and giving him the strength to defend Yixing at the cost of his life, but Zitao’s voice cut the air. “That’s enough.”

They all stopped to look at him. Even the witch eyed him with a mixture of curiosity and fascination. “You want my heart? You can take it, but it’ll never be yours. I already gave it to someone else, I’m sorry.”

He was barely able to stand and even his words were ragged and raspy with blood, but there wasn’t fear in his eyes, nor hesitation. The witch got closer to snatch a better look at him. They could see her turning frantic, and then furious. The power of her rage was palpable, they could feel it pass through them like the wave of tide.

“It’s true, you fool. You gave your heart away. But if I can’t have it, no one will.”

She raised the weapon.

The sound of sharp steel flying in the air whistled in Yifan’s head. Yixing cried out and tried to cover his eyes, but the witch cried more. Jongdae’s sword, the sword of the Lords of Faerie, had just penetrated in her chest. Jongdae was bloodied and panting. His right arm was bent at an unnatural angle and his face was twisted from the pain of holding the sword, but he still found the force to spin the sword inside the wound to make sure she couldn’t survive, tearing a dreadful howl out of her lungs. Time stiffened at her scream. The ground quaked with her shaking, and the cruelty in her voice seemed to obscure even the first shy stars of the night. The twilight became a midnight with no stars or Moon. She was dying, surely, but there was triumph in her voice.

Before they could react, her clawed hands grabbed Jongdae’s hand, still tight around the hilt of the sword, and she raised the dagger again, ready to let it fall on him. This time Yifan screamed in agony, realizing she wanted to bring his brother with her in the world of the dead, the last deed of spite in a long existence of depravity.

She never had the time. Zitao charged against her ragged form, pushing it with all of his weight and smashing it against the frail wall. Their bodies stilled against the curtain of vines, trapped into an illusion of solidity. Then the drape of poison ivy collapsed under their combined weights and the force of the leap, and they fell on the Other Side without a sound other than the rustling of the cracked vines.

Jongdae was the first to run, trying to get on the hole to reach Zitao, but a firm hand on his chest stopped him. He turned around, nerves still on fire and ready to react against any enemy, but Baekhyun’s hold on him was hard like steel.

“Let me go!” Jongdae’s screams, high pitched and hysteric, resounded in the silence. He kicked and cursed and Baekhyun held him still. Yifan got up, head split in two, and he rested his weight on Yixing because everything was spinning and he couldn’t understand where Baekhyun had come from, or why he’d waited so much to come. He could’ve come to help them. It had been a close shot, one of them could’ve died, and the thought the they were still alive, that some pagan god had blessed them because they were already dead, all of them, and they’d survived instead, finally kicked in. More than anything, he couldn’t understand why Baekhyun wouldn’t let Jongdae go and take Zitao.

“I have to check, he’s hurt, he’s-”

“Jongdae!” Baekhyun’s voice was pained and broken. “He’s gone.”

Yixing sobbed, Yifan growled. Jongdae fell on the ground, eyes hooded and filled with tears.

“What do you mean he’s gone?” he asked, just as Jongdae muttered a shaky, “He fell on the Other Side, he… He’s there.”

Yixing sobbed again, muffling the sound against his hands.

“It means,” answered Baekhyun, looking at the dark, Moonless sky to conceal his shining tears, “that my brother is gone. Even if you go on the Other Side the only thing you can find is cold stone and stardust.”