Fic: Not Afraid (Merlin/Arthur, NC-17)
I wrote this a while back, but have gotten so distracted by all the excellent summerpornathon entries (seriously, way to go everyone!) that I keep forgetting to post it. So here it is:
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: could be seen as dub-con; hints of D/s (highlight for explanation: Merlin is worried about what his magic will do if he comes. Arthur gets assertive about making him.)
Length: 1,628 words
Summary: Merlin is worried about what his magic will do if he lets go
Genre: pwp
“No, no, it’s okay,” Merlin mutters when Arthur reaches between them to touch Merlin’s cock.
Arthur stills, his own cock still buried inside Merlin. It takes everything he has not to keep thrusting into that deep, tight heat, but Arthur’s confused, and frankly, annoyed. “This is the third time we’ve…done this, Merlin, and you haven’t…”
Merlin turns his head to the side, avoiding Arthur’s gaze, and under Arthur, Merlin’s body feels so tense. It’s sad; Arthur wants to fix it, whatever it is that’s holding Merlin back.
“I mean,” Arthur continues, “I do notice that you don’t, um. I want this to be, you know…” He trails off again. “We could do something different, something you’ll like better.”
“I like this,” Merlin says, and it sounds honest.
Arthur can’t believe he’s started this conversation, right now in the middle of fucking Merlin into the mattress, Merlin’s knees bent up near his chest. He’d thought Merlin wanted this. Merlin was always enthusiastic, pulling Arthur in, kissing him, groaning out his want, but then-Arthur could barely bring himself to accept it in his own mind-but then, never finishing, refusing Arthur’s game attempts to bring him off with his hand or his mouth or whatever Merlin wanted. It kills him now to see Merlin’s eyes damp as they look anywhere but Arthur’s.
“Just let me-“ Arthur says quietly, lowering his hand again, slowly, to Merlin’s cock.
“No, Arthur,” Merlin hisses, batting his hand away this time.
“What is it?”
“I just don’t. Like. Losing control.”
“It’s just me, Merlin. I’m the only one here.”
“Stop pushing me. In fact, just leave me alone.” Merlin tries halfheartedly to push Arthur off him and wriggle away, but Arthur’s got a few stone on him, and they both know Merlin won’t win. But Arthur slips slowly out of him anyway, feeling defeated.
“Just tell me why, Merlin.”
“Leave it alone!”
“No! Is it,” and Arthur has a flash of understanding, “is it the magic?”
Merlin doesn’t respond, but his eyes get wide and Arthur’s knows he’s figured it out. “Merlin, it’s okay.”
“Arthur, you only learned about it the other day, and you looked like you were going to be sick,” Merlin spits.
“Only because you’d kept it secret from me for so long!”
And then Merlin shocks both of them by forcefully pushing Arthur off of him and hurtling out of bed. He looks unhinged, yelling wildly at Arthur from halfway across the room, now, hair a mess from the sex. “I don’t-I just don’t want to SCARE you, okay? I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about my magic. So fuck off, and let me be unsatisfied in peace!”
Arthur gets out of bed too, but makes no move to approach Merlin. Thankfully, Merlin doesn’t seem about to leave Arthur’s chambers, and Arthur capitalizes on his indecision.
“What would happen?” he asks quietly.
“I don’t know.”
“Of course you do-surely you, you bring yourself off on your own sometimes.” Arthur can’t believe he just said that, but he’s feeling reckless now.
Merlin glares at him. “The furniture moves a little.”
“I think I can handle that,” Arthur scoffs. “I have, you know, fought in battles, Merlin. I think I can handle a chair jumping a few inches.”
“It would be different with you.”
Arthur doesn’t say anything.
“It would be-I just, I don’t know how to explain it. It would be so much stronger.”
“I’m that good, huh?” His attempt to make light are met with stony silence from Merlin and he decides that he’s had enough of being halfway across the room from Merlin, whose still-hard cock is proof that he still wants Arthur. He still wants him.
Arthur stalks towards Merlin, and Merlin backs away uncertainly.
“I’m not afraid.” Arthur’s voice is low.
Merlin just watches him move closer.
“I’m not afraid of you, and I’m not afraid of your magic.” And Arthur walks him back against the wall, grabs Merlin’s wrists and pins them up on either side of his head. Arthur kisses him, and it’s rough, unforgiving, and unafraid. He drags his own cock against Merlin’s hip, shoving it against his body, and Merlin is unsuccessful in choking down a groan. “Heard that,” Arthur murmurs, releasing Merlin’s lips to kiss along his jaw, nip at his ear, and then mouth down his neck, still thrusting his hips against Merlin’s.
He adjusts his hold on Merlin’s wrists, gripping them both in one hand over Merlin’s head, so Merlin’s body is stretched long and lean in front of him. He kisses Merlin again, nipping at his lower lip. “Going to touch you now,” he says against Merlin’s mouth, and he uses his free hand to reach down and wrap around Merlin’s cock.
Merlin wrenches away from the kiss, turning his head to the side, breathing heavily, and Arthur simply uses the opportunity to lick at his exposed neck. He’s not moving his hand on Merlin at all, just holding him, really, feeling the silken skin of Merlin’s cock.
Slowly, he begins to stroke, keeping the grip lighter than he generally prefers, gauging Merlin’s reaction. Merlin won’t look at him; the muscles in his jaw are working, and Arthur gets impatient and pumps Merlin harder, tightening his fist around Merlin’s cock. When he rubs the thumb over the slit, Merlin swallows loudly, but refuses to make any other sound.
“Do you want me to stop?” Arthur’s dismayed that his voice holds less of a challenge and more fear than he wanted.
He strips Merlin’s cock, now slick with pre-come, and repeats, quietly, so his voice won’t break again: “Do you want me to stop?” And Merlin, finally, in a weak voice, says,
“No.”
“Fuck.” And Arthur keeps on stroking him. “Going to make you come, not letting you get away until you’ve come so hard, don’t care if you break everything in the room.” Merlin whimpers, and when Arthur leans in to suck at the crook of Merlin’s neck, Merlin tilts his head so that their cheeks are touching, and it breaks Arthur’s heart a little, in the best way possible.
Arthur shifts, aligning his cock with Merlin’s, gripping them both together in his large hand and pumping them both. His other hand still holds both of Merlin’s captive, and Arthur’s pleased that Merlin seems to be straining now, in a good way, like he wants to reach down and touch Arthur. So Arthur releases Merlin’s hands, and Merlin wraps his arms around Arthur, and Arthur brings his hand down to cup Merlin’s balls as he strokes their cocks. Merlin’s thrusting against him now, panting, and when Arthur brings his fingers to touch the sensitive skin behind Merlin’s balls, Merlin moans. Loudly.
The noise seems to bring him to his senses, and he starts struggling, pushing against Arthur. “Fuck, Arthur, I’m getting…close, I’m…”
“Good,” Arthur hisses, using his weight to pin Merlin to the wall and biting his neck possessively. “Come on,” he says into Merlin’s reddened skin, pumping him harder, licking and biting his neck.
Merlin’s still pushing against him, but moaning at the same time, and Arthur says, “I know you want to come. And I want you to.” Merlin’s trying to swallow back his whimpers now, but they’re too loud, too needy, and Arthur feels powerful, feels Merlin’s cock next to his own as he strokes them together, Merlin’s sweat-dampened skin against his chest and belly. He hears Merlin’s fast, shallow breathing.
He moves his hand from Merlin’s balls and licks his fingers, then moves it back down between Merlin’s legs, reaching farther back, touching Merlin’s hole, and Merlin bucks and sobs a little, and whines, “Yes, no, fuck,” as Arthur’s finger pushes inside.
Merlin’s still open from Arthur’s cock, and Arthur slips a second finger inside, curving and stroking, and Merlin is shaking now, pleading, “Arthur, Arthur, I can’t, you have to…” and Arthur is so focused, he can feel Merlin’s arse starting to spasm around his fingers, knows Merlin is close.
“You will; you’re going to come with my fingers inside you and my hand around your cock like this; it’s going to be amazing. I want to see you.” Arthur’s fingers stroke inside Merlin faster and Merlin’s slim body tenses up, bowing in a graceful arc. Arthur leans back to watch as Merlin’s eyes open wide in shock, and his irises turn gold and he stares into Arthur’s eyes with a frantic, undone expression as Arthur feels Merlin’s arse clamp down on his fingers and hot come splash over his stomach. He’s so focused on Merlin that he’s barely aware of the sounds of wood cracking and glass shattering as Merlin shakes, still coming, spattering Arthur and groaning. Merlin’s legs give out, and Arthur supports him with the hand that’s still inside him, still eking the last waves of pleasure from Merlin’s spasming hole.
“Oh God,” Merlin’s moaning, “Oh God,” and they slump to the floor, kissing. Arthur’s a little overwhelmed by Merlin’s glazed, unfocused eyes and all he can think is he really wanted that; he needed that as he’s dragging them back to the ruined bed, mattress angling on the cracked bedframe, and he’s so hard as he positions Merlin’s compliant body on all fours in front of him, thrusts into Merlin’s arse, and takes him roughly. It doesn’t take long, but it’s long enough for Merlin’s cock to fill again, and Arthur reaches around, fist stroking Merlin’s cock as he pounds into him, and Merlin’s thighs are shaking as he soaks the sheets with his come, as so are Arthur’s, when he gushes into Merlin’s body, and then rolls them over quickly, to avoid a ceiling beam that comes crashing down onto the bed.
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: could be seen as dub-con; hints of D/s (highlight for explanation: Merlin is worried about what his magic will do if he comes. Arthur gets assertive about making him.)
Length: 1,628 words
Summary: Merlin is worried about what his magic will do if he lets go
Genre: pwp
“No, no, it’s okay,” Merlin mutters when Arthur reaches between them to touch Merlin’s cock.
Arthur stills, his own cock still buried inside Merlin. It takes everything he has not to keep thrusting into that deep, tight heat, but Arthur’s confused, and frankly, annoyed. “This is the third time we’ve…done this, Merlin, and you haven’t…”
Merlin turns his head to the side, avoiding Arthur’s gaze, and under Arthur, Merlin’s body feels so tense. It’s sad; Arthur wants to fix it, whatever it is that’s holding Merlin back.
“I mean,” Arthur continues, “I do notice that you don’t, um. I want this to be, you know…” He trails off again. “We could do something different, something you’ll like better.”
“I like this,” Merlin says, and it sounds honest.
Arthur can’t believe he’s started this conversation, right now in the middle of fucking Merlin into the mattress, Merlin’s knees bent up near his chest. He’d thought Merlin wanted this. Merlin was always enthusiastic, pulling Arthur in, kissing him, groaning out his want, but then-Arthur could barely bring himself to accept it in his own mind-but then, never finishing, refusing Arthur’s game attempts to bring him off with his hand or his mouth or whatever Merlin wanted. It kills him now to see Merlin’s eyes damp as they look anywhere but Arthur’s.
“Just let me-“ Arthur says quietly, lowering his hand again, slowly, to Merlin’s cock.
“No, Arthur,” Merlin hisses, batting his hand away this time.
“What is it?”
“I just don’t. Like. Losing control.”
“It’s just me, Merlin. I’m the only one here.”
“Stop pushing me. In fact, just leave me alone.” Merlin tries halfheartedly to push Arthur off him and wriggle away, but Arthur’s got a few stone on him, and they both know Merlin won’t win. But Arthur slips slowly out of him anyway, feeling defeated.
“Just tell me why, Merlin.”
“Leave it alone!”
“No! Is it,” and Arthur has a flash of understanding, “is it the magic?”
Merlin doesn’t respond, but his eyes get wide and Arthur’s knows he’s figured it out. “Merlin, it’s okay.”
“Arthur, you only learned about it the other day, and you looked like you were going to be sick,” Merlin spits.
“Only because you’d kept it secret from me for so long!”
And then Merlin shocks both of them by forcefully pushing Arthur off of him and hurtling out of bed. He looks unhinged, yelling wildly at Arthur from halfway across the room, now, hair a mess from the sex. “I don’t-I just don’t want to SCARE you, okay? I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about my magic. So fuck off, and let me be unsatisfied in peace!”
Arthur gets out of bed too, but makes no move to approach Merlin. Thankfully, Merlin doesn’t seem about to leave Arthur’s chambers, and Arthur capitalizes on his indecision.
“What would happen?” he asks quietly.
“I don’t know.”
“Of course you do-surely you, you bring yourself off on your own sometimes.” Arthur can’t believe he just said that, but he’s feeling reckless now.
Merlin glares at him. “The furniture moves a little.”
“I think I can handle that,” Arthur scoffs. “I have, you know, fought in battles, Merlin. I think I can handle a chair jumping a few inches.”
“It would be different with you.”
Arthur doesn’t say anything.
“It would be-I just, I don’t know how to explain it. It would be so much stronger.”
“I’m that good, huh?” His attempt to make light are met with stony silence from Merlin and he decides that he’s had enough of being halfway across the room from Merlin, whose still-hard cock is proof that he still wants Arthur. He still wants him.
Arthur stalks towards Merlin, and Merlin backs away uncertainly.
“I’m not afraid.” Arthur’s voice is low.
Merlin just watches him move closer.
“I’m not afraid of you, and I’m not afraid of your magic.” And Arthur walks him back against the wall, grabs Merlin’s wrists and pins them up on either side of his head. Arthur kisses him, and it’s rough, unforgiving, and unafraid. He drags his own cock against Merlin’s hip, shoving it against his body, and Merlin is unsuccessful in choking down a groan. “Heard that,” Arthur murmurs, releasing Merlin’s lips to kiss along his jaw, nip at his ear, and then mouth down his neck, still thrusting his hips against Merlin’s.
He adjusts his hold on Merlin’s wrists, gripping them both in one hand over Merlin’s head, so Merlin’s body is stretched long and lean in front of him. He kisses Merlin again, nipping at his lower lip. “Going to touch you now,” he says against Merlin’s mouth, and he uses his free hand to reach down and wrap around Merlin’s cock.
Merlin wrenches away from the kiss, turning his head to the side, breathing heavily, and Arthur simply uses the opportunity to lick at his exposed neck. He’s not moving his hand on Merlin at all, just holding him, really, feeling the silken skin of Merlin’s cock.
Slowly, he begins to stroke, keeping the grip lighter than he generally prefers, gauging Merlin’s reaction. Merlin won’t look at him; the muscles in his jaw are working, and Arthur gets impatient and pumps Merlin harder, tightening his fist around Merlin’s cock. When he rubs the thumb over the slit, Merlin swallows loudly, but refuses to make any other sound.
“Do you want me to stop?” Arthur’s dismayed that his voice holds less of a challenge and more fear than he wanted.
He strips Merlin’s cock, now slick with pre-come, and repeats, quietly, so his voice won’t break again: “Do you want me to stop?” And Merlin, finally, in a weak voice, says,
“No.”
“Fuck.” And Arthur keeps on stroking him. “Going to make you come, not letting you get away until you’ve come so hard, don’t care if you break everything in the room.” Merlin whimpers, and when Arthur leans in to suck at the crook of Merlin’s neck, Merlin tilts his head so that their cheeks are touching, and it breaks Arthur’s heart a little, in the best way possible.
Arthur shifts, aligning his cock with Merlin’s, gripping them both together in his large hand and pumping them both. His other hand still holds both of Merlin’s captive, and Arthur’s pleased that Merlin seems to be straining now, in a good way, like he wants to reach down and touch Arthur. So Arthur releases Merlin’s hands, and Merlin wraps his arms around Arthur, and Arthur brings his hand down to cup Merlin’s balls as he strokes their cocks. Merlin’s thrusting against him now, panting, and when Arthur brings his fingers to touch the sensitive skin behind Merlin’s balls, Merlin moans. Loudly.
The noise seems to bring him to his senses, and he starts struggling, pushing against Arthur. “Fuck, Arthur, I’m getting…close, I’m…”
“Good,” Arthur hisses, using his weight to pin Merlin to the wall and biting his neck possessively. “Come on,” he says into Merlin’s reddened skin, pumping him harder, licking and biting his neck.
Merlin’s still pushing against him, but moaning at the same time, and Arthur says, “I know you want to come. And I want you to.” Merlin’s trying to swallow back his whimpers now, but they’re too loud, too needy, and Arthur feels powerful, feels Merlin’s cock next to his own as he strokes them together, Merlin’s sweat-dampened skin against his chest and belly. He hears Merlin’s fast, shallow breathing.
He moves his hand from Merlin’s balls and licks his fingers, then moves it back down between Merlin’s legs, reaching farther back, touching Merlin’s hole, and Merlin bucks and sobs a little, and whines, “Yes, no, fuck,” as Arthur’s finger pushes inside.
Merlin’s still open from Arthur’s cock, and Arthur slips a second finger inside, curving and stroking, and Merlin is shaking now, pleading, “Arthur, Arthur, I can’t, you have to…” and Arthur is so focused, he can feel Merlin’s arse starting to spasm around his fingers, knows Merlin is close.
“You will; you’re going to come with my fingers inside you and my hand around your cock like this; it’s going to be amazing. I want to see you.” Arthur’s fingers stroke inside Merlin faster and Merlin’s slim body tenses up, bowing in a graceful arc. Arthur leans back to watch as Merlin’s eyes open wide in shock, and his irises turn gold and he stares into Arthur’s eyes with a frantic, undone expression as Arthur feels Merlin’s arse clamp down on his fingers and hot come splash over his stomach. He’s so focused on Merlin that he’s barely aware of the sounds of wood cracking and glass shattering as Merlin shakes, still coming, spattering Arthur and groaning. Merlin’s legs give out, and Arthur supports him with the hand that’s still inside him, still eking the last waves of pleasure from Merlin’s spasming hole.
“Oh God,” Merlin’s moaning, “Oh God,” and they slump to the floor, kissing. Arthur’s a little overwhelmed by Merlin’s glazed, unfocused eyes and all he can think is he really wanted that; he needed that as he’s dragging them back to the ruined bed, mattress angling on the cracked bedframe, and he’s so hard as he positions Merlin’s compliant body on all fours in front of him, thrusts into Merlin’s arse, and takes him roughly. It doesn’t take long, but it’s long enough for Merlin’s cock to fill again, and Arthur reaches around, fist stroking Merlin’s cock as he pounds into him, and Merlin’s thighs are shaking as he soaks the sheets with his come, as so are Arthur’s, when he gushes into Merlin’s body, and then rolls them over quickly, to avoid a ceiling beam that comes crashing down onto the bed.