Riding back to Cincinnati on the Greyhound bus I absentmindly studied my ticket which had a recruitment ad for the National Gaurd printed on it. I thought, maybe I should enlist
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1. Don't care anymore. I might actually fit in being a machine. I've never really been one for doing things on my own anyway.
2. I don't know if I can shoot anyone. I don't know if it will fuck me over for the rest of my life. I am overly concerned about my personal safety but feel like that has been holding me back for being adventureous as well as suicidal.
3. I don't care anymore. I don't know what my moral and political convictions are anymore. My dad would say I am lying. But since when have I acknowledge that he is right before the fact?
This has sounded like I am being confrontationally. Ok. I am. But only because I am annoyed because I didn't think of these questions first. Maybe I didn't consider these questions because I had already answered them subconciously and decided that they were irrelevant considering my current outlook on life, the universe, and everything.
I've decided that while I don't really mind killing people in the ethical sense, I really don't think I could physically/mentally do it. At least not the first time. I'm squemish. But after the first time I might get used to it.
I don't really care much what happens to other people anymore, I'm more concerned about me, something I've tried denying for a long time. And with that type of attitude I am much more able to comply with certain things I previously would have denounced, i.e. helping enforce our current way of life on other people.
Besides, the machine moves on it's own, I can stand on the side and throw stones at it or I can get on the inside and do my best to institute the change that happens from a person just living life how they live life.
Life is not a computer game jack ass, and you did not say good-bye asshole. Despite your overly depressed view on things some of us still love you out there.
Your comments always bother me. It's like you are trying to say something about something but you misinterpreted something and just come off sounding wrong. Understand?
I'm not depressed YOU'RE depressed for thinking my views are depressing.
I said good-bye to some people (not really) and didn't say good-bye to others. My apologies that group number "didn't say good-bye to" wasn't you style. Good thing you're also in group "I don't give a damn." Most everyone is in that category too...
...wait, wait, EVERYONE is in that category. Bitches.
so i read this a while ago and figured that something should be said, but i didnt know what it was to say ... i guess i justed wanted u to know that i did read this, and i did think about it and u.
just trying to lighten the moodnothing_2_offerJanuary 4 2006, 22:29:35 UTC
oh yaeh and i was reading some shit from maddox (the one where he encourages suicide) and when i saw these to it reminded me of u:
2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.
3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.
Speaking of movies I need to finish... finally got through all of Scarface. At the same time that it was a really shitty movie, it was a really good movie. I wasn't as impressed with the final shoot out as you implied I would be. I was amused to find out that one of those sound clips on Immortal Technique's Revolutionary Vol. 2 came from Scarface.
I've seen plenty of anti-military/war films from Dr. Strangelove to Full Metal Jacket to Jarhead and read plenty of the same types of books.
I never finished watching Dead Pres. Fell asleep about when he got home and was eating dinner with his family. I'll get around to finishing it eventually.
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2. I don't know if I can shoot anyone. I don't know if it will fuck me over for the rest of my life. I am overly concerned about my personal safety but feel like that has been holding me back for being adventureous as well as suicidal.
3. I don't care anymore. I don't know what my moral and political convictions are anymore. My dad would say I am lying. But since when have I acknowledge that he is right before the fact?
This has sounded like I am being confrontationally. Ok. I am. But only because I am annoyed because I didn't think of these questions first. Maybe I didn't consider these questions because I had already answered them subconciously and decided that they were irrelevant considering my current outlook on life, the universe, and everything.
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I still don't. But I know I don't want to kill anybody and I don't want to be part of a system that enforces our current way of life on other people.
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I don't really care much what happens to other people anymore, I'm more concerned about me, something I've tried denying for a long time. And with that type of attitude I am much more able to comply with certain things I previously would have denounced, i.e. helping enforce our current way of life on other people.
Besides, the machine moves on it's own, I can stand on the side and throw stones at it or I can get on the inside and do my best to institute the change that happens from a person just living life how they live life.
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I'm not depressed YOU'RE depressed for thinking my views are depressing.
I said good-bye to some people (not really) and didn't say good-bye to others. My apologies that group number "didn't say good-bye to" wasn't you style. Good thing you're also in group "I don't give a damn." Most everyone is in that category too...
...wait, wait, EVERYONE is in that category. Bitches.
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2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.
3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.
hehe i love maddox
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I never finished watching Dead Pres. Fell asleep about when he got home and was eating dinner with his family. I'll get around to finishing it eventually.
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