On Board the Sa'ida: Author's crits and comments
Contains spoilers.
Okay... this is going to be a short one.
Date started: 4th July 2011
Date completed: 6th August 2011
Word count: almost 29k
On Board the Sa'ida was an impromptu piece inspired by Table 4 prompts off a_to_z_prompts. It was supposed to be 20k words, but I wrote almost 29k, and to be honest, it should be longer if I'd included more character development for the characters.
Numerous plotholes aside, the characters should have been explored deeper, Ryoma given more flaws, and maybe Rouge coming to terms with what she's done. Ryoma has a serious lack of character depth. The ending probably should have been more even, instead of Rouge-centric. (But I was kinda rushing it since school starts this coming Thursday????)
Writing style was also pretty bad. (It's just been seriously deteriorating since years back.) Everything feels less concise, sentence structures weren't very interesting, most of the fiction was more like me rambling.... Vocab was bad as usual. So, uh, that's about all the bad parts. (Which pretty much is the entire fic.)
Good parts... I liked the almost-rape scene. It was very intense, and one of the things I looked forward to writing. Also liked the sex scenes. =p
Uhhhh I think that's all. Feel free to add to the crits/comments!
Okay... this is going to be a short one.
Date started: 4th July 2011
Date completed: 6th August 2011
Word count: almost 29k
On Board the Sa'ida was an impromptu piece inspired by Table 4 prompts off a_to_z_prompts. It was supposed to be 20k words, but I wrote almost 29k, and to be honest, it should be longer if I'd included more character development for the characters.
Numerous plotholes aside, the characters should have been explored deeper, Ryoma given more flaws, and maybe Rouge coming to terms with what she's done. Ryoma has a serious lack of character depth. The ending probably should have been more even, instead of Rouge-centric. (But I was kinda rushing it since school starts this coming Thursday????)
Writing style was also pretty bad. (It's just been seriously deteriorating since years back.) Everything feels less concise, sentence structures weren't very interesting, most of the fiction was more like me rambling.... Vocab was bad as usual. So, uh, that's about all the bad parts. (Which pretty much is the entire fic.)
Good parts... I liked the almost-rape scene. It was very intense, and one of the things I looked forward to writing. Also liked the sex scenes. =p
Uhhhh I think that's all. Feel free to add to the crits/comments!