Wonderful Day
Title Wonderful Day
Author: Aquariuslover
Length: One Shot
Beta: tahoeturquoise
A/N: Thanks everybody for your condolences. My grandmother will be greatly missed this Christmas and for always. My muse has been scarce, but sadness and hope stirred this little story to life.
Summary: What might have been…
Wonderful Day
Silky sheets against his skin made him feel warm.
He pressed back into the mattress and found it was not his own…it was not as firm…it was softer.
A much missed but never forgotten scent drifted across his senses. He inhaled a deep, long breath and was reminded of a long lost lover.
The cologne brought to life memories of a man he had once mistakenly believed he could never be without, but time had cruelly proven otherwise.
He moaned as past recollections of passionate embraces stirred his desire, making his whole body ache with need.
“If you keep making sounds like that we are going to be very late.”
His eyes flew open to find his lost lover standing at the side of the bed, staring down at him with a sexy grin that had once been reserved only for him.
“Yunho!” He gasped as he bolted up in bed and found himself in an unfamiliar bedroom.
The other man, who was freshly showered and dressed, did an exaggerated eye roll as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Don’t sound so scandalized. I know we don’t have time. The brat will start-” Yunho’s grin widened and the sexiness was replaced by an eternal fondness when loud knocking erupted against the door.
Yunho quickly got off the bed and swung the bedroom door open. “Yes?”
The younger man did not step into the room, he only leaned his head inside and glared accusingly at the bed. “We only have fifteen minutes before the manager arrives, and YOU promised to cook me breakfast.”
Yunho stepped into the hallway and wrapped an arm around the disgruntled man’s neck and tugged him away from the doorway. “Leave Jaejoong alone, you are completely capable of making your own cereal.”
“Cereal!”
“Yes, cereal; it is easy to make. I will show you. First you get a bowl, some milk and don’t forget-”
“He promised!”
“He was tired. He needed some extra sleep.”
“You always take his side!”
“That is not true.”
“It is. He isn’t even dressed!”
“He is going to get dressed, now.”
“You two are so mushy all the time, it makes me want to puke…” were the last words Jaejoong heard as the other two men headed toward the kitchen.
He didn’t move from the bed.
He was completely mystified.
He tried to think rationally about what was happening…there had to be an explanation. Neither his head nor his body suffered from any of the tell-tale signs of a night spent overindulging. He felt completely sober, and he knew for certain that even if he had been drunk or high out of his mind…this would never happen. This did not happen. This had been lost ages ago.
Yunho and he only talked through reporters and Changmin hated him. The younger man wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire. Years ago Jaejoong had been forced to come to terms with the fact his once beloved maknae was lost to him. The days of Jaejoong cooking for the always ravenous Changmin were long gone.
Jaejoong reached up and felt his head all over and found it to be free of bumps or cuts, ruling out a head injury. He caught sight of his phone on the bedside table and grabbed it. His jaw dropped as he stared at the unexpected background on the phone. The picture he remembered being there was gone and in its place was a recent picture of him, Yunho, and Changmin. The only current pictures of the three of them that existed now were photoshopped works of fantasy by fans.
The passcode on the phone was the same…because like the fans, he was foolish at times and liked to live in fantasy. He looked through his contacts for one number. Only one man could successfully pull off such an elaborate prank of this magnitude. And only one man could bully both Yunho and Changmin into partaking in it.
He stopped himself before calling Heechul and demanding answers. He looked at the door and wondered what would happen if he just went along with the prank. How long would the two other men continue to play along before the old animosity took over? Or maybe, just maybe, he could reconnect with the two of them…could that be Heechul’s plan? A sharp pang pierced through his heart and Jaejoong hated that hope could still be so painful even after all these years.
He set the phone back down.
He defiantly got up and opened a door he assumed led to either a closet or a bathroom. It was a large bathroom he walked into. He stopped as he came face to face with his reflection. He stared at his newly black hair. He reached up and ran his hand through it wondering how in the world they had managed to dye his hair without him knowing. Jaejoong grunted, knowing that Heechul must have enlisted the help of Gunhee. He had to admit that the stylist had done a nice job. It was reminiscent of his hair during the Mirotic era, but sharper. He looked around the bathroom to find it stocked with all his favorite products. He walked back into the bedroom and it slowly dawned on him that it could easily be his own. It was filled with expensive, nice things that spoke of his style; except for the bed…the bed had been too soft.
“Damn,” he whispered under his breath…he had to give his friend props. Heechul meant serious business when he pulled a prank, but Jaejoong refused to be beaten. He walked over to the bedroom door, swung it open, and shouted, “Tell the manager we are going to be late. I promised Changmin breakfast and intend to keep my word.”
*****************************
Jaejoong stared at the back of the manager’s head dumbstruck by the man’s actions.
The manager had not even so much as blinked when he arrived and found Jaejoong eating with Yunho and Changmin. He had scolded them all for being late. He had then hurried them all out the door, all the time acting as if Jaejoong’s being there was completely normal.
They were now on their way to SM Entertainment for an early morning meeting. As they neared the building that was the headquarters for the company that had caused him so much grief, Jaejoong’s anxiety peaked. “I am pretty sure that if I step in there a million alarms will go off.”
Changmin, who was sitting in the back of the black Lexus with him, didn’t even look up from the book he was reading. Yunho, who was sitting in the passenger seat eyed Jaejoong through the rearview mirror and asked, “Why?”
“Why,” Jaejoong repeated in disbelief. “What do you mean why? I am not allowed to go in there…is this all a plan to get me arrested?”
A perplexed Yunho reminded the other man, “You go in there all the time…you are supposed to go in there.”
Jaejoong held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, I give…the prank was flawless. If I am being filmed it has to be the best hidden camera, ever!”
“Is he drunk?” the manager demanded, while not taking his eyes off the road. “Were you trying to sober him up? Is that the real reason you were late?”
“No,” Yunho quickly replied, while still eyeing Jaejoong with concern. “You know he doesn’t drink anymore.”
“I also know he has some friends who are always trying to pull him back down.”
“They didn’t,” Yunho replied. “He was with me all night. He isn’t like that anymore, you know that.”
“Wait-what!” Jaejoong screeched, slowly comprehending what Yunho was saying.
Changmin reached up and covered an ear. “Do you mind?”
Jaejoong, who was still taken aback, demanded, “Why the hell would I stop drinking?”
“Because you’re a fucking lush,” Changmin snapped as if the answer was obvious.
“I am no-” Jaejoong stopped his rebuttal quickly. “You drink!”
“Yes, I do.”
“Then why is it so wrong that I drink?”
Changmin looked up from his book and aimed his full attention at Jaejoong. “I drink because I want to, but you drank like you had to.”
Jaejoong looked away from the younger man’s intelligent gaze to focus on the back of Yunho’s head. “So I stopped drinking?”
“Uh-huh.”
“For how long…?”
Yunho turned around in his seat and answered for Changmin, “For almost three years…why are you asking these kinds of questions? Are you feeling okay?”
The look of worry in Yunho’s eyes had Jaejoong completely bewildered. “No…not really…not at all.”
“He’s fine. He is probably just trying to back out of his promise.”
“I am not!” Jaejoong answered defiantly; something about the maknae’s tone was too cutting.
“Is the woman beater having a party you need to attend?” Changmin asked as he closed his book.
“Changmin!” Yunho scolded from his seat in the front.
Changmin met Yunho’s disapproving glare. “Too soon?”
“Yes, too soon!”
Jaejoong leaned back in his seat, while frantically searching the pockets of the jacket he had put on earlier. “I need a cigarette.”
“Jaejoong!” Yunho and Changmin both rebuked loudly this time.
He gaze drifted back and forth between the two men. “Don’t tell me…I don’t smoke either?”
Changmin hissed in warning, “If you go back to smoking after making us all stop for-”
“Our health?” Jaejoong finished, not the least bit afraid of the younger man. He had searched for a cigarette out of habit, not out of actual physical need. He had always wanted to stop smoking, but he had never been able to achieve the lofty goal. Even if it wasn’t real, even if it was all still part of a prank it was nice to imagine he had been strong enough to rid himself of such a dangerous addiction.
**********************
“You are different today,” Yunho whispered to him as they sat side by side at a table in one of the many conference rooms at SM Entertainment where they along with several other employees were planning the next TVXQ world tour.
Jaejoong just stared at the wall across from him that was lined with Gold and Platinum records that he, Yunho, and Changmin had achieved in recent years. He had slowly come to terms with the fact that the day wasn’t some elaborate joke but a different reality. It was a reality in which he could walk into the SM building without immediately being thrown out by security. It was a reality where he was still a member of TVXQ. It was a reality where he and Yunho were still lovers. A reality where Yoochun and Junsu had left SM without him; There was no JYJ only Junsu and Yoochun.
“How so?”
“Well, you are very quiet and normally you are full of ideas. You love planning our tours.”
“I do love planning tours,” he had to admit. He had always loved having a hand in the JYJ tours, concerts and special appearances.
“I guess Changmin will just take the lead on this one.”
Jaejoong glanced away from Yunho for only a second to look at the animated younger man who was being very expressive with his requests, while waving his hands to emphasize his points. “He does look…passionate about it.”
Yunho snorted. “He is passionate about never having to dress up like a woman again.”
A smile spread out across Jaejoong’s face as he remembered seeing pictures of Changmin at an SM Town concert dressed as a woman. “He had nice legs.”
Yunho groaned. “Don’t remind me.”
He reached out and took Yunho’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Were you traumatized?”
“You know I was.”
“You lived.”
“Only barely, but are…” Yunho paused before continuing, “Are you sure you are alright?”
“Why do you ask?”
Yunho blushed slightly. “You keep looking at me like you expect me to disappear.”
Jaejoong guiltily looked away from the other man, realizing the truth of his words. Instead of confessing, Jaejoong replied, “I just love the black hair. You look really good with your hair black. You should keep it black. ”
“Hey, I don’t mind you staring…as long as you promise to touch later,” Yunho told him as he reached up with one hand to tilt Jaejoong’s head until they were once again eye to eye.
“I promise,” he vowed as he struggled to keep from visibly shaking. He couldn’t even adequately identify the feelings that were overwhelming him. He had tried desperately to give up on Yunho for years. They had been apart longer than they had ever been together…but still he had never succeeded in purging from his heart the hold the other man had on him. In his darkest moments, when his mind punished him with countless 'what might have beens’, Yunho was the sword it used to make the deepest wounds.
************
“I know this is going to sound really crazy, but I need you to humor me,” Jaejoong pleaded as he sat down beside Yoochun in the dressing room. He had been stupefied when he had found out he would be performing on an actual televised music show as a member of TVXQ. He had been more stunned when during rehearsal he had known all the words to the song, along with the dance moves. But nothing had shocked him as much as finding out that Yoochun and Junsu would also be performing on the show. The other two men were not a part of TVXQ but they were promoting their own song…and as far as Jaejoong could tell they were not getting interfered with.
“No,” Yoochun replied without even looking up from his phone. “I am already humoring Junsu today by even being here, so I don’t have any spare humor for you. I do wish he would stick to musicals or solo projects.”
Jaejoong snatched the phone away. “I am begging you.”
“What do you want?”
“I am…I am practicing for a role.”
Yoochun sighed dramatically and leaned away from the older man. “You know Yunho doesn’t like it when we kiss.”
“Not that kind of role!” Jaejoong exclaimed and then asked hastily, “Do we kiss?”
Yoochun broke out into laughter. “You do sound crazy.”
“Shut up! I need to act like a reporter and I need you to answer my questions as honestly as you can.”
“Then it won’t be realistic. I only lie to reporters.”
Jaejoong smacked the other man on the leg. “We are starting, now. Behave!”
“Only because I am too lazy to get up and leave the room.”
“Why don’t you hate me?”
“Who says I don’t?”
An earnest Jaejoong questioned, “Do you really?”
“Yunho said you were acting off today but I was not prepared for this level of weirdness.”
“So you don’t hate me?”
“No,” Yoochun answered honestly. “You are my best friend, so hating you would make it a bit awkward.”
Jaejoong nodded his head relieved. “Why don’t you hate me?”
“That is a mystery even to me.”
“Let me clarify…why don’t you hate me since I didn’t leave SM with you and Junsu?”
Yoochun cringed. “You really are going for the hard hitting questions.”
“Just answer me.”
Yoochun opened his mouth ready to tease the older man but stopped after noticing something strangely solemn about his friend. “I did hate you for awhile.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Because you, my friend, are a persistent pain in the ass. You wouldn’t give up on us, so I finally just gave in.”
“I didn’t give up on you?”
“Jaejoong, you would never give up on someone you love,” Yoochun answered. “Don’t you know that about yourself?”
“I don’t know if that is true, but I hope it is. I want it to be true.”
“It is,” Yoochun replied. “But it was hard…I mean it was really hard at times. But you just kept at us. Also, you kept fighting SM from within for us. I tried not to forgive you for changing your mind…choosing them over us, but you just wouldn’t give up on us. And I couldn’t ignore how you kept fighting SM, how you made Yunho and Changmin fight for us too. You are the reason why Junsu and I are even allowed to be here today.”
“I am glad I never gave up.”
“I know it was harder for Junsu to forgive than it was for me, and I think that has to do with…”
“Please, go on.”
“Don’t get me wrong, because you did a lot to win us over. There are things I will never forget, like the night you and Heechul hijacked Young Street and dedicated the night to me, Junsu and Hangeng, but honestly I think losing my dad had the most to do with it. When I lost him…I realized life is too short not to forgive the people you love.”
********************
Jaejoong covered his mouth to keep from laughing. He was onboard a private plane that was reserved for the sole use of TVXQ. After spending a busy day in Korea they were flying to Tokyo for a performance.
The day was proving to be unbelievable. After finishing the recording for the music show he had met up with his family for a late lunch. They had been cheerful and had teased him relentlessly about his relationship with Yunho. He listened spellbound as they prattled on and on about his nieces and nephews. He was overjoyed to find them so happy. One of the main reasons he had left SM had been so he could provide a better life for them.
When he had been a member of TVXQ he had lived a meager life compared to the abundant funds the group had brought in for the company, but none of that seemed to apply now. He had woken in a luxury penthouse suite he shared with Yunho. Changmin lived in the suite beside them, but separate living quarters did not stop him from entering theirs whenever it suited him.
Jaejoong had also been thrilled when he discovered that in this reality TVXQ had never lost their spot at the top of the Hallyu Wave and their popularity had only soared with each passing year. No other group compared to them. They ruled the home and international markets, both digitally and with physical sales. His joy had only been increased when he noted the number of his own compositions that had become hits.
Their popularity in China had reached unimagined heights while Tohoshinki continued to be the one Korean group that Japan claimed as its own. The private jet allowed them to move back and forth between engagements in China, Japan and other countries with complete ease. The days spent battling through crowded airports was long over.
He turned his head to look at Yunho who was asleep beside him in one of the extremely comfortable reclining seats the plane was equipped with. He failed at containing his laughter after gazing at the other man. Yunho was asleep with his mouth agape. Jaejoong made no attempt to cover up Yunho, like he had done a thousand times before…before their life had taken different paths. He just stared at the lover he had found again after so many years and found comfort in the things that had remained unchanged.
Yunho was correct; he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of him for most of the day. It was like a dream. A dream he would not even have dared to dream. The one he loved was next to him and it was as if nothing but love and warmth had ever passed between them.
Jaejoong had been completely taken aback when he realized everyone else inside the company seemed to know about their relationship, not to mention some other celebrities not even connected to the company, and nobody seemed to care in the least. It appeared to be an unspoken truth that everyone knew about, but nobody openly discussed outside close acquaintances and family.
“You are doing it again.”
“How do you know? Your eyes are not even open.”
Yunho turned his head, opened his eyes, and gazed back at Jaejoong. “I could feel it.”
“Feel what?”
“Your love.”
“For you.”
“For me, but I assure you it is completely reciprocated.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, forever and always.”
Jaejoong looked away from Yunho only long enough to eye the younger man that was asleep in the next isle. “Changmin is going to wake up and puke.”
“Nah, he is immune to us by now.”
“Doubtful.”
“He is…he just likes to complain.”
“That I will agree with.”
Yunho reached out and clasped one of Jaejoong’s hands. “Please, tell me what is wrong.”
Jaejoong squeezed the hand in his. “Today is perfect. There isn’t anything wrong.”
“You know you can tell me anything.”
“Maybe I regret not pulling you back into bed with me this morning and having my way with you.”
“Oh, I will remind you of that when we get back to the hotel tonight.”
“You won’t have to remind me.”
“We will both be dead tired.”
“I won’t be too tired.”
“Like I said, I will remind you.”
“Your mouth won’t be free for talking.”
Yunho pretended to look scandalized but refused to be swayed. “I approve of your distraction methods, but now I must insist you tell me what is really going on in that pretty head of yours.”
“I had a dream,” Jaejoong whispered, looking away from Yunho to gaze out the plane’s window and down at the vast sea that filled the landscape.
“A bad dream?”
“No, it wasn’t exactly a bad dream. It had its good points…it had great moments.”
“Then why are you so bothered?”
“Do you remember that old American movie called It’s a Wonderful Life?”
“Barely.”
“Well, my dream was kinda like it. It was a long dream…that allowed me to see what life could have been like if I had done things differently. In the dream I left SM with Junsu and Yoochun.”
Yunho scrunched up his face in dislike. “It was a bad dream.”
“No,” Jaejoong denied as he shook his head. “It wasn’t bad…it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t bad.”
“Were we still together in this dream of yours?”
“No.”
“Then how could it possibly not be bad?”
Jaejoong kept his gaze fixed on the sea as he replied soberly, “In the dream, there was so much betrayal, accusations, anger and there was…an ocean full of people keeping us apart. The love we shared was forever tainted and out of our grasp. By the end of the dream I didn’t even know you any longer…you had become a stranger. I didn’t know how you felt about anything…much less me.”
“Look at me,” Yunho commanded and Jaejoong immediately did so. “I promise you I felt completely miserable in your dream. How could I not be if I lost you? Like you said long ago, I am your other half…two halves of the same soul.”
Jaejoong’s eyes started to sting with unshed tears. “I often thought that…and I didn’t want to lose you. I reached out for you so many times, but you never reached back. People said I was a fool.”
“In your dream I was the fool.”
“No, you were just proud…so proud. We hurt your pride…and I think we might have broken you for awhile. You looked broken for a long time.”
“It was just a dream.”
“Just a horrible dream.”
“But I thought you said it wasn’t a bad dream?”
“The parts where I missed you, the parts where I thought you were broken, the parts where you put yourself back together…without me, they were bad.”
“I am sure I remained broken.”
“Maybe.”
“What of the other parts…the great parts?”
“There were too many too count. We were the Davids fighting against the mighty Goliaths. The three of us battled on against great odds. Our achievements were especially sweet, because they came at such a great price. We lost a lot of friends, but we made new ones. New alliances were made as old ones crumbled away.”
“It does sound nice.”
Jaejoong closed his eyes. “It was, but there was a hole where our love used to be and no matter how much I loved my work, no matter how much I loved Yoochun and Junsu, no matter how many pets I filled my house with, no matter how many countless friends I filled my days and nights with…there was a void inside me I could never fill.”
“The loss of our love did not create that hole.”
His eyes flew open and he gaped and Yunho surprised. “It didn’t?”
“No, it was always there.”
Jaejoong frowned.
“It was there when we first met and it was there when Yoochun and Junsu left. It was there three years ago when you tried to drink your life away.”
“But I don’t feel it anymore…”
“It isn’t there any longer.”
“You filled it?”
“No.”
“But if you didn’t fill it…then who?”
Yunho reached up and covered Jaejoong’s chest where his heart resided. “You filled it. Only you had the power to fill it…to allow it to be filled.”
The truth of Yunho’s words resonated inside of him. He wondered how he could have lived so long without realizing such a crucial truth. He was so grateful that in this life he had saved himself from…himself. “I love you.”
Yunho squeezed the hand that he had not relinquished. “And I love you.”
“And I am going to jump out of this fucking plane even if it’s without a parachute!” Changmin shouted as he flung his seatbelt off. “What the hell are you two talking about? Never mind, I don’t want to know about holes and Yunho filling them up!”
Jaejoong and Yunho both stared at the red-faced and very annoyed younger man. A very unfazed Yunho asked, “Did someone wake up grumpy?”
“Someone did,” Jaejoong concurred.
“You two piss me off so much,” Changmin snapped, but the venom in his voice was already receding.
“Do you want to fight?” Jaejoong teased as he let go of Yunho and got up from his own seat.
“Old man, don’t you start something you can’t finish.”
“Oh, I can finish,” Jaejoong declared as he lunged for Changmin while trying not to laugh.
Yunho groaned and leaned back in his seat and sighed. “The soulfighters are at it again.”
************************
He stood next to the full length window, looking down on the lights of Tokyo from his and Yunho’s hotel room.
Soon it would be dawn.
Almost twenty-four hours ago he had awoken in Korea.
The day had started off with many questions, but as it had progressed he had stopped searching for answers. He had taken the day for the gift it was.
He refused to regret the other life…his real life; by doing so he would negate all the sacrifices he and others had made, but while he did not regret it he had always been haunted by what could have been. This day was the answer to all the questions that had beseeched him in his weakest moments; during the times when no friends, family, lover or fan’s love could touch him and loneliness had enveloped him like the night envelopes the day.
In this life his refusal to give up on those he loved had been rewarded. Hope was not a knife that cut away at him.
He turned away from the window to look at Yunho, who was asleep on another bed that was too soft for Jaejoong’s liking but just right for Yunho. A bed he would happily sleep on for the rest of his life if it meant not having to be parted from the man he had never managed to fall out of love with.
In his real life Jaejoong had chosen a different path than Yunho; a path that had taken them far from one another. While he would not dare say his path was harder, for although vain at times he had never been arrogant, he would say his path had not been easy. It was not an easy thing to leave loved ones, no matter how righteous the cause.
The feeling that had never faded away felt even more powerful as the morning approached. Love made him stronger than he had ever been before. He loved Yunho, he loved his family, he loved his friends, and he loved countless others, but most importantly he loved himself. And with absolute certainty he knew how much he was loved in return. And for the first time ever the love of others was not a burden upon him, but instead it was a precious blessing.
As the sun’s light broke through the horizon, the last remnants of his life before called him back for one final goodbye.
In that instant he recalled the day was only an illusion; a wonderful day he had experienced over and over. It was his ideal heaven. It was not real, but it fueled his soul, comforting and providing him with everything real life had denied him.
He was not angered by this knowledge; nothing angered him or made him sad. None of the demons that had haunted him during his short life existed now. They had all been vanquished long ago.
He let his essence be pulled away to a cemetery in Seoul.
He had visited the cemetery many times before. He was buried here, but it was not his long dead and decayed body that brought him back. It was the man that had come to his grave every year since his untimely death decades before. This man was the only living soul that continued to have a hold on Jaejoong…the only person who could pull him away from his wonderful day.
Nothing of the lean dancer remained as the man in his ninety’s set out his offering to the dead. A woman, Yunho’s granddaughter, stood protectively beside him like her mother and grandmother had done so before her. She was careful to provide just the right amount of help to the elderly but still proud man.
Yunho had lived a long life.
He had lived long enough to suffer terrible losses. He had lost his wife of nearly sixty years when she had not awakened one spring morning, and he had suffered the unbearable pain of losing a beloved child to the cruelty of cancer. He had seen the passing of Jaejoong, Junsu, Changmin and lastly Yoochun. He had never succeeded in making peace with Junsu, but during the later years of their life Yoochun and he had played chess every Wednesday and spent many hours reminiscing about their shared past. He had lost Yoochun nine years ago and still the pain had not lessened.
The elderly man looked up from the food he had carefully set out and gasped in surprise as he caught sight of Jaejoong. The veil that separated them had grown dangerously thin as Yunho’s time on Earth approached its inevitable end, allowing him to see the once beloved companion that had etched an irremovable mark upon his soul.
Jaejoong watched as tears filled the old man’s eyes and slowly spilled out to run down a wrinkled and worn face. He watched as aged limbs that bruised with the lightest of touches began to tremble.
Yunho stared transfixed by the man he had loved a lifetime ago, unaware he had fallen to his knees or of his granddaughter’s growing concern for him. He saw Jaejoong just as he had always kept him in his mind’s eye; forever young and beautiful, safe and untouched by the ravaging effects of time.
With a trembling jaw he forced out the words he had always meant to say, “I’m sorry.”
Jaejoong smiled back at him and his smile conveyed all the warmth and love needed to soothe an old, tortured soul. In that moment Yunho knew he had been forgiven a long, long time ago and the apology that haunted him…the apology he had been too weak to say when Jaejoong was alive was not needed now.
As the veil once again appeared separating them, Yunho knew his great love had found the peace that had always eluded him in life.
A strange contentment settled over Yunho as he reached out and squeezed his granddaughter’s hand letting her know all was well. He willingly relinquished his pride and let her help him back up to his feet.
Hidden behind the veil Jaejoong lingered long enough to watch as Yunho left the cemetery for the last time. And then he returned to his wonderful day, never to return to the world of living things again.
*****
Silky sheets against his skin made him feel warm.
He pressed back into the mattress and found it was not his own…it was not as firm…it was softer.
A much missed but never forgotten scent drifted across his senses
Author: Aquariuslover
Length: One Shot
Beta: tahoeturquoise
A/N: Thanks everybody for your condolences. My grandmother will be greatly missed this Christmas and for always. My muse has been scarce, but sadness and hope stirred this little story to life.
Summary: What might have been…
Wonderful Day
Silky sheets against his skin made him feel warm.
He pressed back into the mattress and found it was not his own…it was not as firm…it was softer.
A much missed but never forgotten scent drifted across his senses. He inhaled a deep, long breath and was reminded of a long lost lover.
The cologne brought to life memories of a man he had once mistakenly believed he could never be without, but time had cruelly proven otherwise.
He moaned as past recollections of passionate embraces stirred his desire, making his whole body ache with need.
“If you keep making sounds like that we are going to be very late.”
His eyes flew open to find his lost lover standing at the side of the bed, staring down at him with a sexy grin that had once been reserved only for him.
“Yunho!” He gasped as he bolted up in bed and found himself in an unfamiliar bedroom.
The other man, who was freshly showered and dressed, did an exaggerated eye roll as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Don’t sound so scandalized. I know we don’t have time. The brat will start-” Yunho’s grin widened and the sexiness was replaced by an eternal fondness when loud knocking erupted against the door.
Yunho quickly got off the bed and swung the bedroom door open. “Yes?”
The younger man did not step into the room, he only leaned his head inside and glared accusingly at the bed. “We only have fifteen minutes before the manager arrives, and YOU promised to cook me breakfast.”
Yunho stepped into the hallway and wrapped an arm around the disgruntled man’s neck and tugged him away from the doorway. “Leave Jaejoong alone, you are completely capable of making your own cereal.”
“Cereal!”
“Yes, cereal; it is easy to make. I will show you. First you get a bowl, some milk and don’t forget-”
“He promised!”
“He was tired. He needed some extra sleep.”
“You always take his side!”
“That is not true.”
“It is. He isn’t even dressed!”
“He is going to get dressed, now.”
“You two are so mushy all the time, it makes me want to puke…” were the last words Jaejoong heard as the other two men headed toward the kitchen.
He didn’t move from the bed.
He was completely mystified.
He tried to think rationally about what was happening…there had to be an explanation. Neither his head nor his body suffered from any of the tell-tale signs of a night spent overindulging. He felt completely sober, and he knew for certain that even if he had been drunk or high out of his mind…this would never happen. This did not happen. This had been lost ages ago.
Yunho and he only talked through reporters and Changmin hated him. The younger man wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire. Years ago Jaejoong had been forced to come to terms with the fact his once beloved maknae was lost to him. The days of Jaejoong cooking for the always ravenous Changmin were long gone.
Jaejoong reached up and felt his head all over and found it to be free of bumps or cuts, ruling out a head injury. He caught sight of his phone on the bedside table and grabbed it. His jaw dropped as he stared at the unexpected background on the phone. The picture he remembered being there was gone and in its place was a recent picture of him, Yunho, and Changmin. The only current pictures of the three of them that existed now were photoshopped works of fantasy by fans.
The passcode on the phone was the same…because like the fans, he was foolish at times and liked to live in fantasy. He looked through his contacts for one number. Only one man could successfully pull off such an elaborate prank of this magnitude. And only one man could bully both Yunho and Changmin into partaking in it.
He stopped himself before calling Heechul and demanding answers. He looked at the door and wondered what would happen if he just went along with the prank. How long would the two other men continue to play along before the old animosity took over? Or maybe, just maybe, he could reconnect with the two of them…could that be Heechul’s plan? A sharp pang pierced through his heart and Jaejoong hated that hope could still be so painful even after all these years.
He set the phone back down.
He defiantly got up and opened a door he assumed led to either a closet or a bathroom. It was a large bathroom he walked into. He stopped as he came face to face with his reflection. He stared at his newly black hair. He reached up and ran his hand through it wondering how in the world they had managed to dye his hair without him knowing. Jaejoong grunted, knowing that Heechul must have enlisted the help of Gunhee. He had to admit that the stylist had done a nice job. It was reminiscent of his hair during the Mirotic era, but sharper. He looked around the bathroom to find it stocked with all his favorite products. He walked back into the bedroom and it slowly dawned on him that it could easily be his own. It was filled with expensive, nice things that spoke of his style; except for the bed…the bed had been too soft.
“Damn,” he whispered under his breath…he had to give his friend props. Heechul meant serious business when he pulled a prank, but Jaejoong refused to be beaten. He walked over to the bedroom door, swung it open, and shouted, “Tell the manager we are going to be late. I promised Changmin breakfast and intend to keep my word.”
*****************************
Jaejoong stared at the back of the manager’s head dumbstruck by the man’s actions.
The manager had not even so much as blinked when he arrived and found Jaejoong eating with Yunho and Changmin. He had scolded them all for being late. He had then hurried them all out the door, all the time acting as if Jaejoong’s being there was completely normal.
They were now on their way to SM Entertainment for an early morning meeting. As they neared the building that was the headquarters for the company that had caused him so much grief, Jaejoong’s anxiety peaked. “I am pretty sure that if I step in there a million alarms will go off.”
Changmin, who was sitting in the back of the black Lexus with him, didn’t even look up from the book he was reading. Yunho, who was sitting in the passenger seat eyed Jaejoong through the rearview mirror and asked, “Why?”
“Why,” Jaejoong repeated in disbelief. “What do you mean why? I am not allowed to go in there…is this all a plan to get me arrested?”
A perplexed Yunho reminded the other man, “You go in there all the time…you are supposed to go in there.”
Jaejoong held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, I give…the prank was flawless. If I am being filmed it has to be the best hidden camera, ever!”
“Is he drunk?” the manager demanded, while not taking his eyes off the road. “Were you trying to sober him up? Is that the real reason you were late?”
“No,” Yunho quickly replied, while still eyeing Jaejoong with concern. “You know he doesn’t drink anymore.”
“I also know he has some friends who are always trying to pull him back down.”
“They didn’t,” Yunho replied. “He was with me all night. He isn’t like that anymore, you know that.”
“Wait-what!” Jaejoong screeched, slowly comprehending what Yunho was saying.
Changmin reached up and covered an ear. “Do you mind?”
Jaejoong, who was still taken aback, demanded, “Why the hell would I stop drinking?”
“Because you’re a fucking lush,” Changmin snapped as if the answer was obvious.
“I am no-” Jaejoong stopped his rebuttal quickly. “You drink!”
“Yes, I do.”
“Then why is it so wrong that I drink?”
Changmin looked up from his book and aimed his full attention at Jaejoong. “I drink because I want to, but you drank like you had to.”
Jaejoong looked away from the younger man’s intelligent gaze to focus on the back of Yunho’s head. “So I stopped drinking?”
“Uh-huh.”
“For how long…?”
Yunho turned around in his seat and answered for Changmin, “For almost three years…why are you asking these kinds of questions? Are you feeling okay?”
The look of worry in Yunho’s eyes had Jaejoong completely bewildered. “No…not really…not at all.”
“He’s fine. He is probably just trying to back out of his promise.”
“I am not!” Jaejoong answered defiantly; something about the maknae’s tone was too cutting.
“Is the woman beater having a party you need to attend?” Changmin asked as he closed his book.
“Changmin!” Yunho scolded from his seat in the front.
Changmin met Yunho’s disapproving glare. “Too soon?”
“Yes, too soon!”
Jaejoong leaned back in his seat, while frantically searching the pockets of the jacket he had put on earlier. “I need a cigarette.”
“Jaejoong!” Yunho and Changmin both rebuked loudly this time.
He gaze drifted back and forth between the two men. “Don’t tell me…I don’t smoke either?”
Changmin hissed in warning, “If you go back to smoking after making us all stop for-”
“Our health?” Jaejoong finished, not the least bit afraid of the younger man. He had searched for a cigarette out of habit, not out of actual physical need. He had always wanted to stop smoking, but he had never been able to achieve the lofty goal. Even if it wasn’t real, even if it was all still part of a prank it was nice to imagine he had been strong enough to rid himself of such a dangerous addiction.
**********************
“You are different today,” Yunho whispered to him as they sat side by side at a table in one of the many conference rooms at SM Entertainment where they along with several other employees were planning the next TVXQ world tour.
Jaejoong just stared at the wall across from him that was lined with Gold and Platinum records that he, Yunho, and Changmin had achieved in recent years. He had slowly come to terms with the fact that the day wasn’t some elaborate joke but a different reality. It was a reality in which he could walk into the SM building without immediately being thrown out by security. It was a reality where he was still a member of TVXQ. It was a reality where he and Yunho were still lovers. A reality where Yoochun and Junsu had left SM without him; There was no JYJ only Junsu and Yoochun.
“How so?”
“Well, you are very quiet and normally you are full of ideas. You love planning our tours.”
“I do love planning tours,” he had to admit. He had always loved having a hand in the JYJ tours, concerts and special appearances.
“I guess Changmin will just take the lead on this one.”
Jaejoong glanced away from Yunho for only a second to look at the animated younger man who was being very expressive with his requests, while waving his hands to emphasize his points. “He does look…passionate about it.”
Yunho snorted. “He is passionate about never having to dress up like a woman again.”
A smile spread out across Jaejoong’s face as he remembered seeing pictures of Changmin at an SM Town concert dressed as a woman. “He had nice legs.”
Yunho groaned. “Don’t remind me.”
He reached out and took Yunho’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Were you traumatized?”
“You know I was.”
“You lived.”
“Only barely, but are…” Yunho paused before continuing, “Are you sure you are alright?”
“Why do you ask?”
Yunho blushed slightly. “You keep looking at me like you expect me to disappear.”
Jaejoong guiltily looked away from the other man, realizing the truth of his words. Instead of confessing, Jaejoong replied, “I just love the black hair. You look really good with your hair black. You should keep it black. ”
“Hey, I don’t mind you staring…as long as you promise to touch later,” Yunho told him as he reached up with one hand to tilt Jaejoong’s head until they were once again eye to eye.
“I promise,” he vowed as he struggled to keep from visibly shaking. He couldn’t even adequately identify the feelings that were overwhelming him. He had tried desperately to give up on Yunho for years. They had been apart longer than they had ever been together…but still he had never succeeded in purging from his heart the hold the other man had on him. In his darkest moments, when his mind punished him with countless 'what might have beens’, Yunho was the sword it used to make the deepest wounds.
************
“I know this is going to sound really crazy, but I need you to humor me,” Jaejoong pleaded as he sat down beside Yoochun in the dressing room. He had been stupefied when he had found out he would be performing on an actual televised music show as a member of TVXQ. He had been more stunned when during rehearsal he had known all the words to the song, along with the dance moves. But nothing had shocked him as much as finding out that Yoochun and Junsu would also be performing on the show. The other two men were not a part of TVXQ but they were promoting their own song…and as far as Jaejoong could tell they were not getting interfered with.
“No,” Yoochun replied without even looking up from his phone. “I am already humoring Junsu today by even being here, so I don’t have any spare humor for you. I do wish he would stick to musicals or solo projects.”
Jaejoong snatched the phone away. “I am begging you.”
“What do you want?”
“I am…I am practicing for a role.”
Yoochun sighed dramatically and leaned away from the older man. “You know Yunho doesn’t like it when we kiss.”
“Not that kind of role!” Jaejoong exclaimed and then asked hastily, “Do we kiss?”
Yoochun broke out into laughter. “You do sound crazy.”
“Shut up! I need to act like a reporter and I need you to answer my questions as honestly as you can.”
“Then it won’t be realistic. I only lie to reporters.”
Jaejoong smacked the other man on the leg. “We are starting, now. Behave!”
“Only because I am too lazy to get up and leave the room.”
“Why don’t you hate me?”
“Who says I don’t?”
An earnest Jaejoong questioned, “Do you really?”
“Yunho said you were acting off today but I was not prepared for this level of weirdness.”
“So you don’t hate me?”
“No,” Yoochun answered honestly. “You are my best friend, so hating you would make it a bit awkward.”
Jaejoong nodded his head relieved. “Why don’t you hate me?”
“That is a mystery even to me.”
“Let me clarify…why don’t you hate me since I didn’t leave SM with you and Junsu?”
Yoochun cringed. “You really are going for the hard hitting questions.”
“Just answer me.”
Yoochun opened his mouth ready to tease the older man but stopped after noticing something strangely solemn about his friend. “I did hate you for awhile.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Because you, my friend, are a persistent pain in the ass. You wouldn’t give up on us, so I finally just gave in.”
“I didn’t give up on you?”
“Jaejoong, you would never give up on someone you love,” Yoochun answered. “Don’t you know that about yourself?”
“I don’t know if that is true, but I hope it is. I want it to be true.”
“It is,” Yoochun replied. “But it was hard…I mean it was really hard at times. But you just kept at us. Also, you kept fighting SM from within for us. I tried not to forgive you for changing your mind…choosing them over us, but you just wouldn’t give up on us. And I couldn’t ignore how you kept fighting SM, how you made Yunho and Changmin fight for us too. You are the reason why Junsu and I are even allowed to be here today.”
“I am glad I never gave up.”
“I know it was harder for Junsu to forgive than it was for me, and I think that has to do with…”
“Please, go on.”
“Don’t get me wrong, because you did a lot to win us over. There are things I will never forget, like the night you and Heechul hijacked Young Street and dedicated the night to me, Junsu and Hangeng, but honestly I think losing my dad had the most to do with it. When I lost him…I realized life is too short not to forgive the people you love.”
********************
Jaejoong covered his mouth to keep from laughing. He was onboard a private plane that was reserved for the sole use of TVXQ. After spending a busy day in Korea they were flying to Tokyo for a performance.
The day was proving to be unbelievable. After finishing the recording for the music show he had met up with his family for a late lunch. They had been cheerful and had teased him relentlessly about his relationship with Yunho. He listened spellbound as they prattled on and on about his nieces and nephews. He was overjoyed to find them so happy. One of the main reasons he had left SM had been so he could provide a better life for them.
When he had been a member of TVXQ he had lived a meager life compared to the abundant funds the group had brought in for the company, but none of that seemed to apply now. He had woken in a luxury penthouse suite he shared with Yunho. Changmin lived in the suite beside them, but separate living quarters did not stop him from entering theirs whenever it suited him.
Jaejoong had also been thrilled when he discovered that in this reality TVXQ had never lost their spot at the top of the Hallyu Wave and their popularity had only soared with each passing year. No other group compared to them. They ruled the home and international markets, both digitally and with physical sales. His joy had only been increased when he noted the number of his own compositions that had become hits.
Their popularity in China had reached unimagined heights while Tohoshinki continued to be the one Korean group that Japan claimed as its own. The private jet allowed them to move back and forth between engagements in China, Japan and other countries with complete ease. The days spent battling through crowded airports was long over.
He turned his head to look at Yunho who was asleep beside him in one of the extremely comfortable reclining seats the plane was equipped with. He failed at containing his laughter after gazing at the other man. Yunho was asleep with his mouth agape. Jaejoong made no attempt to cover up Yunho, like he had done a thousand times before…before their life had taken different paths. He just stared at the lover he had found again after so many years and found comfort in the things that had remained unchanged.
Yunho was correct; he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of him for most of the day. It was like a dream. A dream he would not even have dared to dream. The one he loved was next to him and it was as if nothing but love and warmth had ever passed between them.
Jaejoong had been completely taken aback when he realized everyone else inside the company seemed to know about their relationship, not to mention some other celebrities not even connected to the company, and nobody seemed to care in the least. It appeared to be an unspoken truth that everyone knew about, but nobody openly discussed outside close acquaintances and family.
“You are doing it again.”
“How do you know? Your eyes are not even open.”
Yunho turned his head, opened his eyes, and gazed back at Jaejoong. “I could feel it.”
“Feel what?”
“Your love.”
“For you.”
“For me, but I assure you it is completely reciprocated.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, forever and always.”
Jaejoong looked away from Yunho only long enough to eye the younger man that was asleep in the next isle. “Changmin is going to wake up and puke.”
“Nah, he is immune to us by now.”
“Doubtful.”
“He is…he just likes to complain.”
“That I will agree with.”
Yunho reached out and clasped one of Jaejoong’s hands. “Please, tell me what is wrong.”
Jaejoong squeezed the hand in his. “Today is perfect. There isn’t anything wrong.”
“You know you can tell me anything.”
“Maybe I regret not pulling you back into bed with me this morning and having my way with you.”
“Oh, I will remind you of that when we get back to the hotel tonight.”
“You won’t have to remind me.”
“We will both be dead tired.”
“I won’t be too tired.”
“Like I said, I will remind you.”
“Your mouth won’t be free for talking.”
Yunho pretended to look scandalized but refused to be swayed. “I approve of your distraction methods, but now I must insist you tell me what is really going on in that pretty head of yours.”
“I had a dream,” Jaejoong whispered, looking away from Yunho to gaze out the plane’s window and down at the vast sea that filled the landscape.
“A bad dream?”
“No, it wasn’t exactly a bad dream. It had its good points…it had great moments.”
“Then why are you so bothered?”
“Do you remember that old American movie called It’s a Wonderful Life?”
“Barely.”
“Well, my dream was kinda like it. It was a long dream…that allowed me to see what life could have been like if I had done things differently. In the dream I left SM with Junsu and Yoochun.”
Yunho scrunched up his face in dislike. “It was a bad dream.”
“No,” Jaejoong denied as he shook his head. “It wasn’t bad…it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t bad.”
“Were we still together in this dream of yours?”
“No.”
“Then how could it possibly not be bad?”
Jaejoong kept his gaze fixed on the sea as he replied soberly, “In the dream, there was so much betrayal, accusations, anger and there was…an ocean full of people keeping us apart. The love we shared was forever tainted and out of our grasp. By the end of the dream I didn’t even know you any longer…you had become a stranger. I didn’t know how you felt about anything…much less me.”
“Look at me,” Yunho commanded and Jaejoong immediately did so. “I promise you I felt completely miserable in your dream. How could I not be if I lost you? Like you said long ago, I am your other half…two halves of the same soul.”
Jaejoong’s eyes started to sting with unshed tears. “I often thought that…and I didn’t want to lose you. I reached out for you so many times, but you never reached back. People said I was a fool.”
“In your dream I was the fool.”
“No, you were just proud…so proud. We hurt your pride…and I think we might have broken you for awhile. You looked broken for a long time.”
“It was just a dream.”
“Just a horrible dream.”
“But I thought you said it wasn’t a bad dream?”
“The parts where I missed you, the parts where I thought you were broken, the parts where you put yourself back together…without me, they were bad.”
“I am sure I remained broken.”
“Maybe.”
“What of the other parts…the great parts?”
“There were too many too count. We were the Davids fighting against the mighty Goliaths. The three of us battled on against great odds. Our achievements were especially sweet, because they came at such a great price. We lost a lot of friends, but we made new ones. New alliances were made as old ones crumbled away.”
“It does sound nice.”
Jaejoong closed his eyes. “It was, but there was a hole where our love used to be and no matter how much I loved my work, no matter how much I loved Yoochun and Junsu, no matter how many pets I filled my house with, no matter how many countless friends I filled my days and nights with…there was a void inside me I could never fill.”
“The loss of our love did not create that hole.”
His eyes flew open and he gaped and Yunho surprised. “It didn’t?”
“No, it was always there.”
Jaejoong frowned.
“It was there when we first met and it was there when Yoochun and Junsu left. It was there three years ago when you tried to drink your life away.”
“But I don’t feel it anymore…”
“It isn’t there any longer.”
“You filled it?”
“No.”
“But if you didn’t fill it…then who?”
Yunho reached up and covered Jaejoong’s chest where his heart resided. “You filled it. Only you had the power to fill it…to allow it to be filled.”
The truth of Yunho’s words resonated inside of him. He wondered how he could have lived so long without realizing such a crucial truth. He was so grateful that in this life he had saved himself from…himself. “I love you.”
Yunho squeezed the hand that he had not relinquished. “And I love you.”
“And I am going to jump out of this fucking plane even if it’s without a parachute!” Changmin shouted as he flung his seatbelt off. “What the hell are you two talking about? Never mind, I don’t want to know about holes and Yunho filling them up!”
Jaejoong and Yunho both stared at the red-faced and very annoyed younger man. A very unfazed Yunho asked, “Did someone wake up grumpy?”
“Someone did,” Jaejoong concurred.
“You two piss me off so much,” Changmin snapped, but the venom in his voice was already receding.
“Do you want to fight?” Jaejoong teased as he let go of Yunho and got up from his own seat.
“Old man, don’t you start something you can’t finish.”
“Oh, I can finish,” Jaejoong declared as he lunged for Changmin while trying not to laugh.
Yunho groaned and leaned back in his seat and sighed. “The soulfighters are at it again.”
************************
He stood next to the full length window, looking down on the lights of Tokyo from his and Yunho’s hotel room.
Soon it would be dawn.
Almost twenty-four hours ago he had awoken in Korea.
The day had started off with many questions, but as it had progressed he had stopped searching for answers. He had taken the day for the gift it was.
He refused to regret the other life…his real life; by doing so he would negate all the sacrifices he and others had made, but while he did not regret it he had always been haunted by what could have been. This day was the answer to all the questions that had beseeched him in his weakest moments; during the times when no friends, family, lover or fan’s love could touch him and loneliness had enveloped him like the night envelopes the day.
In this life his refusal to give up on those he loved had been rewarded. Hope was not a knife that cut away at him.
He turned away from the window to look at Yunho, who was asleep on another bed that was too soft for Jaejoong’s liking but just right for Yunho. A bed he would happily sleep on for the rest of his life if it meant not having to be parted from the man he had never managed to fall out of love with.
In his real life Jaejoong had chosen a different path than Yunho; a path that had taken them far from one another. While he would not dare say his path was harder, for although vain at times he had never been arrogant, he would say his path had not been easy. It was not an easy thing to leave loved ones, no matter how righteous the cause.
The feeling that had never faded away felt even more powerful as the morning approached. Love made him stronger than he had ever been before. He loved Yunho, he loved his family, he loved his friends, and he loved countless others, but most importantly he loved himself. And with absolute certainty he knew how much he was loved in return. And for the first time ever the love of others was not a burden upon him, but instead it was a precious blessing.
As the sun’s light broke through the horizon, the last remnants of his life before called him back for one final goodbye.
In that instant he recalled the day was only an illusion; a wonderful day he had experienced over and over. It was his ideal heaven. It was not real, but it fueled his soul, comforting and providing him with everything real life had denied him.
He was not angered by this knowledge; nothing angered him or made him sad. None of the demons that had haunted him during his short life existed now. They had all been vanquished long ago.
He let his essence be pulled away to a cemetery in Seoul.
He had visited the cemetery many times before. He was buried here, but it was not his long dead and decayed body that brought him back. It was the man that had come to his grave every year since his untimely death decades before. This man was the only living soul that continued to have a hold on Jaejoong…the only person who could pull him away from his wonderful day.
Nothing of the lean dancer remained as the man in his ninety’s set out his offering to the dead. A woman, Yunho’s granddaughter, stood protectively beside him like her mother and grandmother had done so before her. She was careful to provide just the right amount of help to the elderly but still proud man.
Yunho had lived a long life.
He had lived long enough to suffer terrible losses. He had lost his wife of nearly sixty years when she had not awakened one spring morning, and he had suffered the unbearable pain of losing a beloved child to the cruelty of cancer. He had seen the passing of Jaejoong, Junsu, Changmin and lastly Yoochun. He had never succeeded in making peace with Junsu, but during the later years of their life Yoochun and he had played chess every Wednesday and spent many hours reminiscing about their shared past. He had lost Yoochun nine years ago and still the pain had not lessened.
The elderly man looked up from the food he had carefully set out and gasped in surprise as he caught sight of Jaejoong. The veil that separated them had grown dangerously thin as Yunho’s time on Earth approached its inevitable end, allowing him to see the once beloved companion that had etched an irremovable mark upon his soul.
Jaejoong watched as tears filled the old man’s eyes and slowly spilled out to run down a wrinkled and worn face. He watched as aged limbs that bruised with the lightest of touches began to tremble.
Yunho stared transfixed by the man he had loved a lifetime ago, unaware he had fallen to his knees or of his granddaughter’s growing concern for him. He saw Jaejoong just as he had always kept him in his mind’s eye; forever young and beautiful, safe and untouched by the ravaging effects of time.
With a trembling jaw he forced out the words he had always meant to say, “I’m sorry.”
Jaejoong smiled back at him and his smile conveyed all the warmth and love needed to soothe an old, tortured soul. In that moment Yunho knew he had been forgiven a long, long time ago and the apology that haunted him…the apology he had been too weak to say when Jaejoong was alive was not needed now.
As the veil once again appeared separating them, Yunho knew his great love had found the peace that had always eluded him in life.
A strange contentment settled over Yunho as he reached out and squeezed his granddaughter’s hand letting her know all was well. He willingly relinquished his pride and let her help him back up to his feet.
Hidden behind the veil Jaejoong lingered long enough to watch as Yunho left the cemetery for the last time. And then he returned to his wonderful day, never to return to the world of living things again.
*****
Silky sheets against his skin made him feel warm.
He pressed back into the mattress and found it was not his own…it was not as firm…it was softer.
A much missed but never forgotten scent drifted across his senses