I kind of thrive on mess. I'm looking around my room right now and noticing the various clusters of garments strewn about. Most would cringe right now but I am completely content. I sometimes wish I could just burry myself in those clusters, those soft mountains and hibernate.

It's so ironic in the worst way possible that now that I live with 400 other people, I have never felt more alone.

Why do I even write in this thing?

2008 was bitter-sweet in all senses of that oxymoron. I really think I just want to be a better person.

Less:
Selfish
Indulgent
Ungrateful
Vain
Blunt

More:
Tactful
Sensitive
Dedicated
Creative
Motivated

And to make better decisions. I'm sort of failing at being a good human being lately.

Also, fuck you man. You were old anyways.

I am home. It's not that nice right now but newmarket it's strangely comforting. Like a security blanket ( Read more... )

I am feeling very over residence life at this moment. I want this semester to end so badly and to have a break at home. I wish I lived in the city. Guelph is nice, it really is, but I feel like I'm in a little bubble. I just want my own space again ( Read more... )

Today is a strange day. I am at my newmarket home and my house is empty. My parents are at the cottage, my brother,at work. I am starting to feel really comfortable being alone. I really value days of self like this since living in res. I am surrounded by people constantly. People talking, people doing, people crying...just people. The rain and ( Read more... )

You're fucked up and even worse incredibly stupid.

You...I just want to hear from you. Something please? I don't think this is worth it.

You, you are solid. I am proud of what was.

I feel like I accomplished a lot this weekend. I booked my tattoo appointment at new tribe with india(at the recomendation of elise[thanks girl])and I couldn't be more excited. Nuit Blache was amazing and I would love to volunteer at it next year or just attend again. Being in Toronto made me realize how much I miss it and wish I had chosen to go ( Read more... )

I really needed this weekend. It was just a reality check for me. I realized that I should just let things be and stop grasping at nothing. It was a good two years but I think ending it now will result in less heart ache than later. He was my best friend but somewhere along the way that changed and I didn't let myself realize it. I think I owe a ( Read more... )

So this is what it feels like to be worthless.