Wowww~ Really great fic. Well written and surprisingly heart warming despite the many sad occurrences. Peligr0 also quoted this but...
"Jiyong watching Seungri as if he were starring at some kind of masterpiece, Seungri listening to the sound of Jiyong’s breathing as if it was an amazing musical composition."
It really is a great line. Jiyong became Seungri's music and Seungri became Jiyong's masterpiece. ;u;
Only thing is I did find it to move a little quickly. : O I think it was because a lot of emotional things happened in 5 chapters. So it was kinda like "BAM Tabi made Seungri deaf. BAM Lufff~ BAM Jiyong gets hit by a car. BAM Seungri goes blind. BAM Seungri gets his hearing back." xD So it kinda felt almost like a mini fic to me despite being five chapters because there wasn't much time in between events to build up the emotion, ya know.
But other than that the storyline and THE WRITING were great. Definitely gonna look out for more of your fics in the future~
actually though, would it make the fic seem like it moved even faster if i told you this is actually just one whole story divided into five? i tried posting it all under one post but lj said it was too long, so i divided it >_______>...
yeah, i tried using small transitions like "it had been blahh days" so i didnt have to explain all the details between days/weeks and like small stories in between various times between the ~drama but i guess it still seemed fast? i didnt want to make the fic too lengthy so i guess i DID kinda shove everything out there quickly into one whole story.
SO, Note to Self! Spend more time and be more patient with fics!
Well it was still REALLY enjoyable to read and I loved it. : O If you meant it to be one story then that makes more sense actually. Maybe the chapters just put me in a mindset of it being a long chaptered fic so I was expecting more detail I guess? But yeah if it was under one post I probably wouldn't have seen it that way cos it would've been like an epic oneshot. xD
this comment's definitely late and am going to be lame but.
i'd just like to tell you that i love love love this. the wrought emotions, the characterisations, their personalities. and their meeting, their interactions, the way they love each other. i love everything about this story. it affects me so much that i had to sit back and calm down after the scene with the bleach.
this is a beautiful story, well-written with impeccable pacing. thank you so much for sharing and i hope i'll be able to read more from you. ♥
First I wanna say, this fic was just great. greatgreatgreat, great? no, awesome, beautiful, just heartbreaking. It was well written and the storyline was ab-so-lutely not, I repeat NOT cliché. It's original, I mean who the hell could come up with a story like this? seungri blind and deaf? damn! and you see ji yong giving his life for someone like him and caring about him, it's just so cute, I wish these things happen more in real life :l I got tears of reading your story now and then, but one of the last sentences: Somewhere outside, a snow flake landed on a blooming flower, and it was the beginning of winter made me just cry like a B-A-B-Y. this story had a huge impact on me, well done. I woudn't ever forget it, thanks.
thats a relief that you thought the storyline wasnt cliche :] if these kinds of things happened in real life, how jiyong takes such good care of seungri, the world would be so much happier and peaceful, hahhh. but sadly, this is just a fic D;
thank you so much for reading and commenting and giving such thoughtful feedback! i really appreciate it! :]
I am kinda interested in your other fics, are there any fics you've written and you think it's your best work? i wanna read it :] What is your personal favourite you writed urself? x
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"Jiyong watching Seungri as if he were starring at some kind of masterpiece, Seungri listening to the sound of Jiyong’s breathing as if it was an amazing musical composition."
It really is a great line. Jiyong became Seungri's music and Seungri became Jiyong's masterpiece. ;u;
Only thing is I did find it to move a little quickly. : O I think it was because a lot of emotional things happened in 5 chapters. So it was kinda like "BAM Tabi made Seungri deaf. BAM Lufff~ BAM Jiyong gets hit by a car. BAM Seungri goes blind. BAM Seungri gets his hearing back." xD So it kinda felt almost like a mini fic to me despite being five chapters because there wasn't much time in between events to build up the emotion, ya know.
But other than that the storyline and THE WRITING were great. Definitely gonna look out for more of your fics in the future~
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yeah, i tried using small transitions like "it had been blahh days" so i didnt have to explain all the details between days/weeks and like small stories in between various times between the ~drama but i guess it still seemed fast? i didnt want to make the fic too lengthy so i guess i DID kinda shove everything out there quickly into one whole story.
SO, Note to Self! Spend more time and be more patient with fics!
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i loved it though.
G-Ri is so sweet (irl and in your story).
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thank you for reading and commenting!
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Please do write moar 8D
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&& ill definitely be writing more, haha.
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i'd just like to tell you that i love love love this. the wrought emotions, the characterisations, their personalities. and their meeting, their interactions, the way they love each other. i love everything about this story. it affects me so much that i had to sit back and calm down after the scene with the bleach.
this is a beautiful story, well-written with impeccable pacing. thank you so much for sharing and i hope i'll be able to read more from you. ♥
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my intentions exactly, so its very relieving to know you think all that :]
&& thank YOU for reading, and youll definitely be able to see more fics from me in the (near) future ;]
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greatgreatgreat, great? no, awesome, beautiful, just heartbreaking. It was well written and the storyline was ab-so-lutely not, I repeat NOT cliché. It's original, I mean who the hell could come up with a story like this? seungri blind and deaf? damn! and you see ji yong giving his life for someone like him and caring about him, it's just so cute, I wish these things happen more in real life :l I got tears of reading your story now and then, but one of the last sentences: Somewhere outside, a snow flake landed on a blooming flower, and it was the beginning of winter made me just cry like a B-A-B-Y. this story had a huge impact on me, well done. I woudn't ever forget it, thanks.
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thank you so much for reading and commenting and giving such thoughtful feedback! i really appreciate it! :]
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What is your personal favourite you writed urself? x
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I have a bad habit of wanting to post my fics asap, and I'm really impatient so I tend to post them without editing anything D;
but I'm about to start a new fic and hopefully it'll be substantial enough in my mind. and maybe ill actually edit. haha.
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