Je T'aime Á En Mourir Part 1
Je T'aime Á En Mourir Part 1
Jonghyun/Key | R | Dark Themes | 1,495
In which Kibum is passively unaware about life, and Jonghyun is giving him a chance to live it.
a/n: edited, reposted, and now ive decided im gonna write this as a chaptered fic. halloween is coming up, very soon actually, so here's a dark plotted fic for the holiday ;D.
Kibum.
He’s sitting in class on the sixth day of school, one week having already passed. There’s a new student, transferring in from some other academy over in Daegu (or was it just a level change within their academy?). This new student (or not?) stood out like black against white, literally almost, and it captured his gaze with half interest sparkling in his eyes.
Black skinny jeans, black shoes, black hoodie, black, black, black, and he’s thinking, why, why, why? The only thing that seems to be not black is his white t-shirt that peaks out from underneath the hooded sweater. And his hair, a disarray mixture of blonde and dark brown, makes him easy to distinguish from the others.
This guy, Kibum forgot to catch the name, too caught up in the image to soak it all in, or maybe he just simply forgot it, he takes a seat conveniently and coincidently beside his desk located in the back. He wasn’t even aware that the desk beside his was empty.
He says, “Hi.”
And Kibum half smiles with half intention behind it, says, “Yeah, hey.”
He finds out three days later that his name is Kim Jonghyun, all because of a random partner activity during class. It’s strange, really, how things begin and splay out naturally. He’s just curious about how it all ends when life stops running on autopilot.
It’s from choice, the partner activity, something about analyzing excerpts from the Bible and bullshitting an insightful and profound theme. He thinks religious based excerpts should be optional, and he wonders whether or not people have protested it. And, well, it was legitimate since everything seemed to be debatable these days, religion being one of the hot topics.
Jonghyun, he turns to face Kibum with subtle interest, says more than suggests, “Partners?”
And Kibum raises both eyebrows, purses his lips over to one side in an expression that lacks interest and confirms, “Partners.”
It’s just fifteen minutes into the class, yet no progress had been made nor did any progress intend to be made. They were talking leisurely, things about Kibum mostly, since Jonghyun seemed to be the talkative one out of the two, and the professor came by with a warning and a frown. It was only after an awkward silence arose that they decided to begin bullshitting.
Kibum picks up the sheet with the Bible excerpts, reads, “Romans 14:8: ‘For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's’. And then there’s also this one from Psalm 48:14: ‘For this is God, Our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death.’”
Jonghyun is silent for what seems to be more than just a few seconds. He’s contemplative and seems somewhat comically amused by the quotes. He says, “’…and if we die, we die to the Lord’. I’d like to think that life and death are two separate entities, and that He only controls one.”
“So, He only controls life? Who controls death?”
“Well, we’re forgetting about Death himself here, aren’t we?”
“What, the guy who carries around a bladed stick and wears a black cloak? That hardly seems legitimate.”
“Oh, of course, but at least we have an idea of what he looks like. The Lord could be a Jamaican woman based on our lack of knowledge.”
Kibum smirks at the remark, “Yeah, okay, sure. Two different entities, though? But you live life and then you die, to die if anything.”
“Well, death isn’t your choice, is it? For now, you’re just living, until it’s decided that you’re done with it.”
“Yeah, okay, but isn’t the Lord the almighty power over us?”
“Then that means there’s an almighty power below us.”
And the professor chooses that moment to interrupt and explain the activity further, bringing everyone together into one large discussion. Someone is debating a point at the other side of the class, and Kibum turns to glance at Jonghyun out of fascination.
He’s looking right back at him with a knowing expression, something that Kibum seems to lack the knowledge for. Kibum turns his gaze down to the sheet of paper on the surface of the desk.
The only words marring the blankness of it are two names and the word Death, with a capital D.
Kibum spent his free time lazing in his room thinking over the trivial details of life and the generalities of these details and the vague ideas that those generalities lead to that made those trivial details so vivid. And it was statements that ran in circles and played on each other’s words that he always seemed to be saying in his crowded mind.
Kibum was lying on the floor beside his open window, and there was a perfectly unlit cigarette resting between his lips, something he didn’t ignite with fire until he felt the cool breeze of the pending autumn numb at his cheeks. His head rested beside the air vent which produced warm air, and the sensations were contradicting and confusing. He wasn’t sure which one he preferred, but well, he was getting both at once, and it was fine.
Death.
The word had been running through his head since the other day when they had discussed it. Jonghyun’s voice was in his head now, repeating already stated sentences, and he wondered, is death really not our choice?
It was interesting. He could jump out his open window at any moment, but if Jonghyun’s words were true, and if it wasn’t his time for death, that meant someone or something would be down there to catch him.
Right?
Would Death be there at his door when it was his time to die? Would God be there when it wasn’t? Question after question he asked himself as the sun began setting from the sky. His room was getting dark, only the dim glow of orange glistening in from the window. He hated this time in the day, evening, when things looked orange and red and almost dark. It hurt his head to stare at the lighting, and when he closed his eyes, he fell into a light sleep.
Somewhere in the middle of the night, he felt a hand rest on his chest.
Just over his beating heart.
“Hi.”
It’s lunch time, and Kibum is standing awkwardly over Jonghyun who’s sitting on the grass in the middle of the football field. He doesn’t usually do things like this, approach others first and sit with them for lunch, so it makes his skin tingle uncomfortably. But Jonghyun is a nice guy, smiles up at him with teeth, says, “Hi.”
He’s wearing a black coat and black boots today, and Kibum understands now that he always has at least one article of clothing of the color.
Kibum sits across from Jonghyun, bottle of water in one hand, apple in the other. He pulls the sleeves of his purple hoodie up to his elbows to feel the cool air against his skin, and he likes how the sun shines directly down on them. He doesn’t say anything, but he’s getting used to this silence overcoming them. Jonghyun’s eyes are on him, but well, he’d already gotten used to the feeling of the other’s gaze on him at times.
And Jonghyun, always interrupting that silence, says, “Purple suits you.”
Key looks down at his hoodie, “Yeah? You think so?”
“Well, I’m pretty sure of it.”
He chooses that moment to ask one of his many questions of curiosity, “You wear a lot of black.”
“I do.”
“Ever think of not wearing so much of it in one standing?”
Jonghyun gapes in mock offense, and the subtle smile he wears gives him away, lets Kibum know he’s not really offended. He sits up and pulls off the black jacket, revealing a white t-shirt and Kibum thinks it’s the first time he’s ever seen Jonghyun’s arms. He doesn’t bother to hide his staring, and really, he was just surprised that those arms were toned as opposed to his own lanky ones.
He jokes, “So, yeah, I’m starting to feel a little uncomfortable at how much of your skin I’m seeing.”
Jonghyun, “Oh, but you do like it.”
Kibum laughs while trying to open his bottle of water, and he feels an emptiness in his hands as Jonghyun grabs the bottle from him. There’s a nice crackling sound as he opens it effortlessly, handing it back with a calm expression on his face. The action makes him feel like they’ve been friends for awhile, taking care of each other in the smallest ways, and he doesn’t know what to call their constant bickering back and forth. Something at the very back of his mind shouts the word flirting, and he only pushes it further back into the depths of his brain.
He says, “Thanks, Jonghyun.”
And Jonghyun smiles, “Of course.”
a/n: yes, simplesimplesimple, but well, ive got nothing up my sleeves at the moment D: not sure if it's obvious or not the role jonghyun is playing, and if it isnt obvious, there are definitely signs all over the place leading you to what he is ;DD
not sure how many parts this will be, and not sure when ill update the next part either. hopefully very soon! ^0^
feedback! :]