Sunday
12:00am
granola bar
apple juice meds
2:30pm
meatloaf (grandma sent me a frozen one)
bit of rice
water
6;00pm
two chocolate pudding cups (one just wasn't enough)
7:30
packet of peanut butter crackers and a glass of sweet tea
-_- I only got three sources annotated yesterday and I worked from 1 - 10pm with only an hour break for dinner and doing dishes plus travel time to and from the library.
Today I must get two more sources read and annotated, then draft an abstract. Since I have little idea how all my ideas are going to connect, that should be interesting. Honestly, I have no idea whether or not this paper topic will work. I may write about it here later because sometimes it helps to free write.
I also need to do reading for class tomorrow. There's no way I'll get all of it done, but I have to do some. And then the two papers for Tuesday that I need to submit by Monday.
-2:00 I got so angry and frustrated I took a break. It's 3. Where did the time go? I put away dishes and ate lunch. Time goes by so quickly when you're dreading a deadline you can't possibly make.
-7:30pm
It's physically impossible to get everything assigned done. Looks like I'm not doing any of the class reading for tomorrow. ten pages left to read of a 50 page book chapter (which so much elitist vocab it takes about an hour to get through 10 pages) and then to annotate it. Then: read my annotations, see if I actually have any original thoughts, and try my hardest to get an abstract out of it. -_- Thing is, I've been staring at a screen for 12 hours a day the past four, five days working on legit academic stuff and my brain is turning to mush. I knew I shouldn't have gone home last weekend, but it was so lonely...
I broke down crying at 6:30 when I looked up at my calendar. I had planned to take a break the weekend of March 23, but I realized that two weeks after that my big projects are due, so I really can't afford to slack off.
I don't have the endurance for grad school. That, or I don't have thick enough skin.