MLP: Another Story

[aramaru]

Confound these ponies, they drive me to fanfiction! Here then is the first chapter in what I hope to be an epic story, based around the idea of 'What would a Final Fantasy style MLP RPG be like?'

As usual, anon comments are enabled, so feel free to say whatever is on your mind about this! Feedback will determine what I change, add or if I even

Comments

[anonymous]

Hmm.

This is good enough that I'm interested to see where you're going with things. One hopes you decide to continue if for no other reason than to satiate my curiosity :).

As far as criticism goes, the only thing that particulary sticks out is that the shift from present tense in the prologue to past tense from Zecora's scene onwards feels a little jarring. Re-writing the description of the everfree and the rift opening in past tense seems like it would be an improvement.

Other than that, keep it up mate!

[aramaru]

Noted. After a bit more gaming I'll get to changing the wording a bit. I haven't actually written anything notable in quite some time, so I wanted to start off slowly, as well as describe the setting for those unfamiliar with it (or perhaps those whom hadn't seen every episode).

Thanks again for the feedback!