Friendship
Ohno sat silently on the edge of his bed looking at the empty bed across his, the covers neatly folded on top of a pillow. As he stared at the dark part of the room, he can’t stop the tears from running down his cheeks. That dim corner used to be the happiest part of the room. But now, it’s just an empty space.
--**--
Moving to Tokyo was probably one of Ohno’s biggest decisions he’s made. He didn’t want to leave his family but then his family even pushed him to go and pursue his dreams. There were a lot of things he wanted to do and learn. Many things took his interest. And in all those things, everybody said he’s good.
His dreams truly materialized as he spent each waking day in Tokyo. He wanted to act, he was hired every so often in plays. He wanted to sing and dance, being Johnny’s talent made that dream real for him.
But behind his rainbow colored dreams was darkness. The darkness brought to him by loneliness. True he had friends, but he missed his family so much. He hated going home to an empty apartment. He missed going home to a dimly lit house where someone says “Okaeri” when he says “tadaima”, bowls of smoking rice on the table, smiling faces greeting him. Loneliness almost made him give up his dreams. Every night, he sat on his bed fighting the tears. He missed his mom who always made stuff for him, his father who didn’t really spend so much time with him but whose mere presence was appreciated, and his sister who bullies him around but cares for him like his mom does.
For months he dragged himself into his empty apartment, more like a cellar. This was weird because with his family, he didn’t go out much. He just wanted to stay home. But the loneliness in his apartment was suffocating. However, the loneliness faded as one of his friends offered to share the rent and stay with him.
“That would be awesome!!” he said giving Hiroshi a high five.
“Of course! I was thinking maybe we can jam every night… I’d want to make songs… and maybe you could perform them.”
“That’s doubly awesome.”
All things went good as Ohno found someone to fill that empty space in his apartment. They spent days off at home, making good music. Like fate linked them together, they wanted the same stuff and disliked the same stuff. Except for one thing - car racing.
Hiroshi would run as fast as he could out of the apartment when someone from the racing troupe calls him. This worried Ohno so much. The guy was already family to him, and he regarded him as the brother he never had.
It didn’t take long before Ohno’s worries permanently faded. And like destiny was playing games on him, Hiroshi got involved in a drag racing accident while he was at Hawaii debuting as Arashi.
No one informed Ohno about his friend’s death. Hiroshi’s parents were too devastated because of the accident while Ohno’s parents worried for their son. His mother knew that even though Ohno isn’t a very emotional guy, he took things to heart. Though some people find his spacing out funny, his mother completely understood him. At times she’d see Ohno staring blankly into space, she didn’t need to ask. It was Ohno’s way of saying that he’s affected.
When Arashi went back to Japan, Ohno was shocked to see the emptied part of his room. The first thing that went to his mind was that Hiroshi left without even saying goodbye to him. It hurt him. The pain stung him. He collapsed on the beanbag that divided the room into two equal parts, the only conjugal property they had except for the door. He sighed loudly and fought the tightening in his throat.
He jumped up when he heard the doorknob click.
“Hiroshi?”
It wasn’t, it was Hiroshi’s mother.
“A… su… sumimasen…” the shocked woman bowed in apology.
“A… no… ma’am… I arrived here… his side of the room was empty…”
The woman who stood before him let out sobs that were barely audible but he saw her shoulders shake. Ohno’s throat tightened. A tear fell down from one of his eyes.
“Ano… I came here to… leave this…” the woman said in between sobs. “I… found it in his things last night, including the key to your apartment. I… I’m sorry for just entering… I didn’t know… I didn’t know that you were here…”
Ohno looked down at the paper Hiroshi’s mother handed to him.
“Satoshi.” He read softly.
“Hai… I’ll go ahead… I… if you want to… visit him…” the woman swallowed hard as she didn’t really want to talk about her son as someone who can be visited at some place “you can… here’s the address to… the cemetery… there’s a map there too…” the woman let out another set of sobs and sniffs then excused herself.
Not very long after the door closed behind Hiroshi’s mom, Ohno realized that he was alone once again. Only this time, he felt lonelier. He bit on his lower lip as he tried to stop it from shaking. The tears were perched on his lower lids, holding on to his lashes.
“Hiroshi…” and his tears fell down for the first time since Hiroshi moved in.
--**--
He sat on the edge of his bed and looked at the empty corner of the room clutching the paper that he was holding since Hiroshi’s mother left. The trip from Hawaii was tiring but he didn’t want to sleep. He held on to the piece of paper as if it was Hiroshi. Although he was away for a few days, this was the first time that he missed his roommate - the one he regarded as his brother.
Gently, he unfolded the piece of paper he was holding. The first thing he saw was Hiroshi’s doodles. They were funny doodles but Ohno couldn’t laugh. It was a letter, maybe something that Hiroshi intended to write as a song.
“You and I… We’re not of the same blood. But you’ve accepted me as I am… And I’ve accepted you as you are. I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect. But we made things work. You’re more than a best friend. You’re more than a brother. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I didn’t need to hear everything from you. The way you worry when I’m racing but you never tied me down. Coz you know you’re not my mother. You worried just fine. So before you get lost in your busy life, I just wanted to say thank you and that I appreciate every little thing that you did for me.”
Just as he finished reading the letter, his phone rang.
Nino didn’t need to ask, he knew something was wrong. He didn’t understand why but his feet got him up and running to Ohno’s apartment. Ohno opened the door, his eyes were swollen.
“I’m here.” Nino said.
The loneliness in Ohno’s heart faded away. But the sadness lingered. A new emotion surfaced. This was the first time Ohno felt afraid of having someone just to lose that person in the end.