Dream
It's already been 2 hours since I woke up (for a second time), so the details are fuzzy. It was not pleasant, though.
First off, for this entire dream "I'm" not me -- rather, the person I see and identify with as myself is very clearly someone else. Also, depending on the scene, I identified myself with the 'me' character, but other times with the 'friend' character.
So I'm on a boat, probably a cruise ship, but smaller; me and my friends and family are celebrating something. At some point I run into someone and start accusing them of things. The argument accelerates until I punch her, and then she punches me back and I go down. My friends are dragging me away, and notice that my septum had been ruptured from all the coke I'd been doing.
They throw me into a room. I don't remember details; I remember despairing, and feeling worthless, and I found a razor and started to kill myself -- but one of the friends from earlier caught me, and grabbed my arm. He wasn't trying to pull away or stop me -- he just grabbed it, stared at me, shook his head, and I stopped.
Then for some reason we were up on deck again, sitting in a booth -- me, the friend, and my dad. They were both telling me to stop being such a whiny bitch and get over it already, basically, and I did the typical teen thing of telling them didn't understand. Nobody understood. Then my dad held out his arms, and showed off his own scars. He explained how he thought he would never get his wife when he was young and tried to kill himself three times; and each time, he stopped himself, and now he's on a boat having a party and things are okay, so you never know where you're going to turn up.
there was something more about me quitting my job -- but at the end of november, even though I said I wanted to do it today. but I think that was a different dream.
First off, for this entire dream "I'm" not me -- rather, the person I see and identify with as myself is very clearly someone else. Also, depending on the scene, I identified myself with the 'me' character, but other times with the 'friend' character.
So I'm on a boat, probably a cruise ship, but smaller; me and my friends and family are celebrating something. At some point I run into someone and start accusing them of things. The argument accelerates until I punch her, and then she punches me back and I go down. My friends are dragging me away, and notice that my septum had been ruptured from all the coke I'd been doing.
They throw me into a room. I don't remember details; I remember despairing, and feeling worthless, and I found a razor and started to kill myself -- but one of the friends from earlier caught me, and grabbed my arm. He wasn't trying to pull away or stop me -- he just grabbed it, stared at me, shook his head, and I stopped.
Then for some reason we were up on deck again, sitting in a booth -- me, the friend, and my dad. They were both telling me to stop being such a whiny bitch and get over it already, basically, and I did the typical teen thing of telling them didn't understand. Nobody understood. Then my dad held out his arms, and showed off his own scars. He explained how he thought he would never get his wife when he was young and tried to kill himself three times; and each time, he stopped himself, and now he's on a boat having a party and things are okay, so you never know where you're going to turn up.
there was something more about me quitting my job -- but at the end of november, even though I said I wanted to do it today. but I think that was a different dream.