Fic: The Sound of Solace; Tim Drake (Red Robin II)/Jaime Reyes (Blue Bettle III); R; Part 2/6
Title: The Sound Of Solace
Author: Aravis Tarkheena
Part: 2/6
Pairing: Tim Drake (Red Robin II)/Jaime Reyes (Blue Beetle III)
Rating: R
Warnings: Angst, violence later
Disclaimer: Not mine, everyone is more than legal
Word Count: 2,000 words
Author's Notes: We interrupt your regularly scheduled Jewel of Sakar for something that has a happy ending. Second of six vignettes about Tim and Jaime. Written for prompt #4 : light for my Tim/Jaime claim on dcu_freeforall
Part One
Part Two
Six weeks later
Somewhere in the desert in Turkey
The hum of the Ducati’s engine and the silence of the desert night had lulled Tim into a sort of dazed, waking trance as he drove. He tried to make himself concentrate on the road, on his plans and on everything else he had to accomplish but he found his mind wandering into blank nothingness.
The stars in the sky sparkled and shone down on him in ways that they never could in Gotham city. Tim couldn’t help but be entranced by their glittering light. He was grateful that the road lay empty both behind and before him. There were no cars, no people and no voices to detract from the endless beauty of the night.
He felt at peace, out here alone on his bike. The lights of the city of Anakara had long since faded out behind him and the next town was hours away. Tim could almost make himself believe that he was the last person left in this world alive. It was as if every other living thing had melted away and Tim could now merely exist without the pull of duty and responsibility.
The thought brought him more peace than he would have liked to admit.
Tim loved Bruce and despite everything that had happened, he still loved Dick too. He empathized with Damian and understood Jay. He missed Cassandra and Steph. He mourned for Kon, Bart and his father.
Tim was not callous. He cared for the people in his life.
But none of them were here now and out, alone in this darkness, Tim let himself selfishly pretend his life was simpler than it had ever been.
Tim had learned long ago, the minute his mother had sent him away to boarding school for the first time, in fact, that loving someone didn’t mean loving them all the time. Right now, Tim was enjoying not actively loving anybody.
They all reminded him too much of the things he had lost or the things he couldn’t have.
He didn’t want to think of any of that now.
He just wanted to drive in the soothing darkness and the silence of the desert.
Tim didn’t know how long he drove. His eyes focused on the horizon before him and never trailed down to the GPS on the consol of his bike. Any sense of time, distance or internal maps drifted off into the desert night.
A loud beep from one of his instruments startled Tim enough that his bike almost went into a swerve. Tim glanced down at the illuminated panel and briefly scanned it before looking up behind him.
Tim could see Blue Beetle flitting after him in the sky. He was silhouetted sharply against the starlight and immediately recognizable. He was clearly hanging back and there was a slight lilting hesitance in his flight as if he was yet unsure if he wanted to talk to Tim at all.
Tim sighed slightly and slowed his bike before scanning the road ahead for a decent spot to pull off. He spotted a large boulder off to his left and pulled off the road briefly, heading in its direction. He lifted an arm to indicate that Blue Beetle should follow before pulling behind the shelter of the boulder and flicking the engine of the Ducati off.
It took Blue Beetle a little more than a minute before he touched down next to Tim’s bike. Tim regarded him silently for a few long moments before pulling his helmet off and lifting a questioning eyebrow.
Tim hadn’t seen Blue Beetle, or any of the other Titans besides Cassie for that matter, in almost three months. He had clearly grown taller and his muscle was now more defined and toned. As Blue Beetle let his mask pull back into the scarab, Tim noticed the stubble on his chin was spreading to a denser, less patchy scruff.
Blue gave him a sheepish smile that reminded Tim, gut rendingly, of Kon. Tim merely nodded in response, noting the uncertainty in Jaime’s eyes as he did so.
A moment of silence passed between them before Tim’s curiosity got the better of him.
“How did you find me?” he asked, trying not to grimace at the sound of his own voice. It was low and raspy both from the dust of the desert and disuse. It a voice that sounded bleak. It was a voice that sounded unused to conversation. It was a voice that sounded more like Batman than Robin and Tim didn’t like that.
He saw what being Batman did to people.
After what happened with Dick, Tim was more determined than ever to avoid that particular fate.
“Uh, the scarab. It knew where you were. Followed your biometric readings or something,” Blue Beetle explained, flicking his hands around nervously to illustrate his point.
“Oh,” Tim wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He was just starting to like not having anyone who knew how to find him. It was nice to know that he didn’t always have to expect a call asking him for help or advice or back up. It was almost a relief.
Cass and Shiva could probably find him if they needed to, as they had the most experience tracking him, but it would take even them a day or two. But Jaime could find him in an instant if he was so inclined.
It was a disconcerting notion.
“Did you need something?” Tim asked then, and tried to keep the sharpness out of his voice. He didn’t quite manage.
“I just-“ Jaime began and then paused in thought for a moment before continuing. “You didn’t come back for your things,” he finished and looked at Tim with an expectant expression.
“Uh, no. I suppose I didn’t,” Tim answered and didn’t even try to keep the confusion out of his voice. “Should I have?”
The moon had just begun to rise in the east. There were no clouds and the light was very bright. It reflected off of the lightly colored sand and rocks around them, making everything seem even brighter. The growing light made it easier for Tim to see the blush climbing up Blue Beetle’s bared throat to stain his cheeks.
Blue Beetle reached behind his back and fumbled around for a moment before coming up with a small packet. He thrust it out towards Tim.
“You-you forgot your pictures,” he stammered, hand still extended.
Tim, shocked into momentary immobility by the sheer incongruousness of the situation, didn’t take the packet from Jaime right away.
“My pictures?” he asked dumbly, staring at Blue Beetle’s outstretched hand.
“Yeah, you had them all over your room. I thought you would want them,” Blue Beetle explained.
“You tracked me down and followed me all the way out into the middle of the desert to give me some pictures?” Tim asked skeptically as he took the packet from Blue Beetle’s hand.
“Well, yeah,” Blue Beetle said, and his voice took on a defensive tone. “You had them all framed and around your room. I figured they were important to you.”
Tim thumbed open the heavy yellow envelope as Blue Beetle spoke and slid the pictures out and flicked through them. He didn’t even need the full light to know which photos they were. They were all very familiar to him.
He had taken almost all of them over the years. The first ones, the older ones, the ones with Cissie and Anita, he had taken with the first camera his mother had given him. The later ones, the ones with Mia and Bart in his Kid Flash uniform, he had taken with the camera Bruce had given him when his mother’s broke. The last pictures, the pictures of he and Cassie alone, had been taken by M’gann. Tim had long since given up photography as a hobby by the time those pictures had been snapped.
The disconnected feeling Tim had been reveling in all night disappeared in a flash as the blurry image of Kon’s smile ghosted up at him from the photograph Tim held in his hand. It all came rushing back then, the emotions he had been holding at bay for weeks, the guilt, the grief, the loneliness, the rage and fear and anger. It welled up inside Tim’s chest like bile and he reflexively swallowed in an attempt to alleviate the sensation.
They were gone, now. All of them.
Tim had supported Cissie when she decided to leave. He let her know he didn’t think she was a coward or a failure. That he still loved and trusted her, no matter what decision she made.
Tim had been there for Bart after Slade had shot him. He had listened to Bart talk endlessly and sat silently as he thought and considered. He had listened to Bart recite page after page of fact and conjecture as he tried to figure out what type of person he wanted to grow into. He had stood and taken the insults and aggression when Bart couldn’t figure it out.
Tim had been there for Kon when he found out who his other DNA donor really was. He stood there through the tantrums, the temper the shouting and the crying. He had alleviated Kon’s guilt and convinced him not to worry. He had worked hard to prove to Kon that he was more than the sum total of his DNA. That he was his own person and could live his own life.
Tim had been there for his friends. He had held their hands and listened. He had fought for them. He had bled for them. But now, when Tim was out fighting on his own battlefield, facing his own crisis and hunting his own demons, there was no one here to hold his hand or to fight by his side.
He was alone, out in the desert.
Suddenly, that thought wasn’t such a comfort anymore. It was just one more harsh, bitter reality to add to the mix.
Tim’s hand shook as he slid the pictures back into the envelope. His throat was tight and his eyes stung and he could feel the slight tremors that went through his frame. Tim lost his grip on the envelope and it fell with a dull whoosh to the sandy ground at Tim’s feet.
There were a dozen things he should do. He should bend over and pick up the packet. He should look at Jaime and calmly thank him. He should swallow back these tears and get on his bike and drive away into the quiet empty night.
But Tim couldn’t do any of those things. He was frozen. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t even breathe. His head ached and his eyes stung and his lungs burned as he stood stiff and rigid in the bright moonlight.
That was when Blue Beetle reached out and took Tim’s hand gently in his own.
Tim glanced up and Blue Beetle’s eyes looked almost black in the darkness of the night but the shadows couldn’t hide the concern they contained. Tim opened his mouth to say something but there was a loud buzzing in his ears and spots began to dance across his eyes.
Blue Beetle must have seen Tim waver because he pulled Tim into his arms and held him close. Blue Beetle sat down on the sandy ground, pulling Tim with him. They sat in the shadows with the rock at their back.
As the buzzing in Tim’s ears subsided he could hear Jaime speaking softly to him.
“Shhhhh, shhhh,” Jaime soothed and whispering comforting nonsense in Tim’s ear.
Tim wanted to speak, to tell Blue Beetle that he was fine, just slightly dizzy and it was ok if he let go now. However, when Tim opened his mouth no words came out. Tim shook his head in disgust and frustration and made to pull away.
Blue Beetle tightened the hold he had on Tim’s hand and Tim paused. The warmth of Blue’s skin and the feel of flesh and bone sent a frisson of something flittering in Tim’s chest. Blue Beetle was here, solid and real. Tim could touch Blue Beetle, smell him feel him there beside Tim.
While the huge emptiness of the desert was still vast and daunting all around Tim, suddenly, things felt slightly better.
A/N: I swear to GOD things are less depressing in the next chapter.
Part Three
Author: Aravis Tarkheena
Part: 2/6
Pairing: Tim Drake (Red Robin II)/Jaime Reyes (Blue Beetle III)
Rating: R
Warnings: Angst, violence later
Disclaimer: Not mine, everyone is more than legal
Word Count: 2,000 words
Author's Notes: We interrupt your regularly scheduled Jewel of Sakar for something that has a happy ending. Second of six vignettes about Tim and Jaime. Written for prompt #4 : light for my Tim/Jaime claim on dcu_freeforall
Part One
Part Two
Six weeks later
Somewhere in the desert in Turkey
The hum of the Ducati’s engine and the silence of the desert night had lulled Tim into a sort of dazed, waking trance as he drove. He tried to make himself concentrate on the road, on his plans and on everything else he had to accomplish but he found his mind wandering into blank nothingness.
The stars in the sky sparkled and shone down on him in ways that they never could in Gotham city. Tim couldn’t help but be entranced by their glittering light. He was grateful that the road lay empty both behind and before him. There were no cars, no people and no voices to detract from the endless beauty of the night.
He felt at peace, out here alone on his bike. The lights of the city of Anakara had long since faded out behind him and the next town was hours away. Tim could almost make himself believe that he was the last person left in this world alive. It was as if every other living thing had melted away and Tim could now merely exist without the pull of duty and responsibility.
The thought brought him more peace than he would have liked to admit.
Tim loved Bruce and despite everything that had happened, he still loved Dick too. He empathized with Damian and understood Jay. He missed Cassandra and Steph. He mourned for Kon, Bart and his father.
Tim was not callous. He cared for the people in his life.
But none of them were here now and out, alone in this darkness, Tim let himself selfishly pretend his life was simpler than it had ever been.
Tim had learned long ago, the minute his mother had sent him away to boarding school for the first time, in fact, that loving someone didn’t mean loving them all the time. Right now, Tim was enjoying not actively loving anybody.
They all reminded him too much of the things he had lost or the things he couldn’t have.
He didn’t want to think of any of that now.
He just wanted to drive in the soothing darkness and the silence of the desert.
Tim didn’t know how long he drove. His eyes focused on the horizon before him and never trailed down to the GPS on the consol of his bike. Any sense of time, distance or internal maps drifted off into the desert night.
A loud beep from one of his instruments startled Tim enough that his bike almost went into a swerve. Tim glanced down at the illuminated panel and briefly scanned it before looking up behind him.
Tim could see Blue Beetle flitting after him in the sky. He was silhouetted sharply against the starlight and immediately recognizable. He was clearly hanging back and there was a slight lilting hesitance in his flight as if he was yet unsure if he wanted to talk to Tim at all.
Tim sighed slightly and slowed his bike before scanning the road ahead for a decent spot to pull off. He spotted a large boulder off to his left and pulled off the road briefly, heading in its direction. He lifted an arm to indicate that Blue Beetle should follow before pulling behind the shelter of the boulder and flicking the engine of the Ducati off.
It took Blue Beetle a little more than a minute before he touched down next to Tim’s bike. Tim regarded him silently for a few long moments before pulling his helmet off and lifting a questioning eyebrow.
Tim hadn’t seen Blue Beetle, or any of the other Titans besides Cassie for that matter, in almost three months. He had clearly grown taller and his muscle was now more defined and toned. As Blue Beetle let his mask pull back into the scarab, Tim noticed the stubble on his chin was spreading to a denser, less patchy scruff.
Blue gave him a sheepish smile that reminded Tim, gut rendingly, of Kon. Tim merely nodded in response, noting the uncertainty in Jaime’s eyes as he did so.
A moment of silence passed between them before Tim’s curiosity got the better of him.
“How did you find me?” he asked, trying not to grimace at the sound of his own voice. It was low and raspy both from the dust of the desert and disuse. It a voice that sounded bleak. It was a voice that sounded unused to conversation. It was a voice that sounded more like Batman than Robin and Tim didn’t like that.
He saw what being Batman did to people.
After what happened with Dick, Tim was more determined than ever to avoid that particular fate.
“Uh, the scarab. It knew where you were. Followed your biometric readings or something,” Blue Beetle explained, flicking his hands around nervously to illustrate his point.
“Oh,” Tim wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He was just starting to like not having anyone who knew how to find him. It was nice to know that he didn’t always have to expect a call asking him for help or advice or back up. It was almost a relief.
Cass and Shiva could probably find him if they needed to, as they had the most experience tracking him, but it would take even them a day or two. But Jaime could find him in an instant if he was so inclined.
It was a disconcerting notion.
“Did you need something?” Tim asked then, and tried to keep the sharpness out of his voice. He didn’t quite manage.
“I just-“ Jaime began and then paused in thought for a moment before continuing. “You didn’t come back for your things,” he finished and looked at Tim with an expectant expression.
“Uh, no. I suppose I didn’t,” Tim answered and didn’t even try to keep the confusion out of his voice. “Should I have?”
The moon had just begun to rise in the east. There were no clouds and the light was very bright. It reflected off of the lightly colored sand and rocks around them, making everything seem even brighter. The growing light made it easier for Tim to see the blush climbing up Blue Beetle’s bared throat to stain his cheeks.
Blue Beetle reached behind his back and fumbled around for a moment before coming up with a small packet. He thrust it out towards Tim.
“You-you forgot your pictures,” he stammered, hand still extended.
Tim, shocked into momentary immobility by the sheer incongruousness of the situation, didn’t take the packet from Jaime right away.
“My pictures?” he asked dumbly, staring at Blue Beetle’s outstretched hand.
“Yeah, you had them all over your room. I thought you would want them,” Blue Beetle explained.
“You tracked me down and followed me all the way out into the middle of the desert to give me some pictures?” Tim asked skeptically as he took the packet from Blue Beetle’s hand.
“Well, yeah,” Blue Beetle said, and his voice took on a defensive tone. “You had them all framed and around your room. I figured they were important to you.”
Tim thumbed open the heavy yellow envelope as Blue Beetle spoke and slid the pictures out and flicked through them. He didn’t even need the full light to know which photos they were. They were all very familiar to him.
He had taken almost all of them over the years. The first ones, the older ones, the ones with Cissie and Anita, he had taken with the first camera his mother had given him. The later ones, the ones with Mia and Bart in his Kid Flash uniform, he had taken with the camera Bruce had given him when his mother’s broke. The last pictures, the pictures of he and Cassie alone, had been taken by M’gann. Tim had long since given up photography as a hobby by the time those pictures had been snapped.
The disconnected feeling Tim had been reveling in all night disappeared in a flash as the blurry image of Kon’s smile ghosted up at him from the photograph Tim held in his hand. It all came rushing back then, the emotions he had been holding at bay for weeks, the guilt, the grief, the loneliness, the rage and fear and anger. It welled up inside Tim’s chest like bile and he reflexively swallowed in an attempt to alleviate the sensation.
They were gone, now. All of them.
Tim had supported Cissie when she decided to leave. He let her know he didn’t think she was a coward or a failure. That he still loved and trusted her, no matter what decision she made.
Tim had been there for Bart after Slade had shot him. He had listened to Bart talk endlessly and sat silently as he thought and considered. He had listened to Bart recite page after page of fact and conjecture as he tried to figure out what type of person he wanted to grow into. He had stood and taken the insults and aggression when Bart couldn’t figure it out.
Tim had been there for Kon when he found out who his other DNA donor really was. He stood there through the tantrums, the temper the shouting and the crying. He had alleviated Kon’s guilt and convinced him not to worry. He had worked hard to prove to Kon that he was more than the sum total of his DNA. That he was his own person and could live his own life.
Tim had been there for his friends. He had held their hands and listened. He had fought for them. He had bled for them. But now, when Tim was out fighting on his own battlefield, facing his own crisis and hunting his own demons, there was no one here to hold his hand or to fight by his side.
He was alone, out in the desert.
Suddenly, that thought wasn’t such a comfort anymore. It was just one more harsh, bitter reality to add to the mix.
Tim’s hand shook as he slid the pictures back into the envelope. His throat was tight and his eyes stung and he could feel the slight tremors that went through his frame. Tim lost his grip on the envelope and it fell with a dull whoosh to the sandy ground at Tim’s feet.
There were a dozen things he should do. He should bend over and pick up the packet. He should look at Jaime and calmly thank him. He should swallow back these tears and get on his bike and drive away into the quiet empty night.
But Tim couldn’t do any of those things. He was frozen. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t even breathe. His head ached and his eyes stung and his lungs burned as he stood stiff and rigid in the bright moonlight.
That was when Blue Beetle reached out and took Tim’s hand gently in his own.
Tim glanced up and Blue Beetle’s eyes looked almost black in the darkness of the night but the shadows couldn’t hide the concern they contained. Tim opened his mouth to say something but there was a loud buzzing in his ears and spots began to dance across his eyes.
Blue Beetle must have seen Tim waver because he pulled Tim into his arms and held him close. Blue Beetle sat down on the sandy ground, pulling Tim with him. They sat in the shadows with the rock at their back.
As the buzzing in Tim’s ears subsided he could hear Jaime speaking softly to him.
“Shhhhh, shhhh,” Jaime soothed and whispering comforting nonsense in Tim’s ear.
Tim wanted to speak, to tell Blue Beetle that he was fine, just slightly dizzy and it was ok if he let go now. However, when Tim opened his mouth no words came out. Tim shook his head in disgust and frustration and made to pull away.
Blue Beetle tightened the hold he had on Tim’s hand and Tim paused. The warmth of Blue’s skin and the feel of flesh and bone sent a frisson of something flittering in Tim’s chest. Blue Beetle was here, solid and real. Tim could touch Blue Beetle, smell him feel him there beside Tim.
While the huge emptiness of the desert was still vast and daunting all around Tim, suddenly, things felt slightly better.
A/N: I swear to GOD things are less depressing in the next chapter.
Part Three